Severus certainly needed somewhere to sit. His ears were buzzing because of the noise reverberating throughout the train. Lily was walking on his side, smiling widely, but a slight frown showed her concern about her friend.
The young girl was everything Severus wasn't - in one word, she was solace. Lily was dynamic, curious, joyful; even though she knew to remain calm, polite and patient when the situation required so. Her temper was quite good but she was stubborn and determined as well.
In addition, she was a good observer and respected others as much as possible, like her parents taught her and her sister. When she had spent two complete years with Severus, she had noted his own temper. One bit of who he was could lay on the fact Severus associated noise with bad behaviours. He instantly became nervous, his fists and teeth clenched, a slight shiver coming from head to toe. His obsidian eyes always took a specific light, as if they would be a sign of a bad omen. Such a reaction gave Lily some second thoughts because he could be so freaky, displaying an aura which clearly stated "go away from me…" and whatever he would threaten to anyone next.
So, Lily was walking on his side, leading the way, her green eyes looking for an empty couch to settle in for the rest of the journey. Then, amid the train, they stopped and she opened up the door and shut behind them. The noise then was more bearable to Severus who sighed from relief.
Both children took care of their luggage and sat face-to-face, close to the window.
At first, they enjoyed that quite complete silence; either watching the sight from the window, or staring some bit of the couch as if they never had taken the train before - even if that was the case for the boy. He only knew the train by theory and being in one was exciting enough to watch this couch with awe.
They started to talk when the train had come across Devonshire and the countryside became their main spot of view for a large part of the journey.
'So, in which House do you think you'd be sorted into?' Lily asked, already certain of the answer his friend would say, but she wanted to start the conversation anyway. That was what one would name little chat - but she was only 11.
Severus's eyes focused on her face and a somewhat delight irradiated from him. He craved so much about the wizarding world that he felt almost more alive than when he kept living through his Muggle situation and sense of belonging.
'Like my mother… In Slytherin,' he muttered.
'Ah, someone just said something awful, to the point my poor ears are bleeding so badly!' suddenly shouted a preteen male voice in a dramatic tone; immediately followed by a lot of noise. The door opened on two boys, who smelled so much wealth that it was sickening.
Severus was frozen on his seat, and soon understood that the door hadn't been shut properly and had partly reopened in the while; so that those two boys could eavesdrop their conversation and invite themselves in.
'Is that awful to want to go in Slytherin?' he then asked, his chin up, ready to defend his view to their unwanted visitors.
'Slytherin is full of outgrown sinful wizards, one would know this for granted;' the boy with silk-like and curly hair replied. 'Anyone a bit sane shouldn't desire to go in there.' he stated as if it was Truth. A smirk on his face crossed his lips, supporting his view. Lily frowned, a bit perplex by such certainty and because she sensed her friend wouldn't appreciate it one bit.
'My mother isn't sinful,' Severus growled in a spat, feeling attacked deep in flesh, his orbs displaying his anger.
'Is she?' the other boy questioned back, a specific undertone in voice depicting he was ironic. 'Looking at you, I'm not that sure.'
This very sentence made his mate laughing hard, a laugh which could resemble a bark.
Under their scrutiny, Severus was wearing ugly clothes, Muggle clothes. They were faded and outmatched. Nevertheless, that was his appearance which rebuked them: his crooked nose, his greasy long hair, his pallid face, his very posture even… All of this was a some sort of comical effect, both dirty and ridiculous.
That was such a comical effect because this boy was facing such a lovely girl from the countryside. Even though she also was wearing Muggle clothes, she looked more proper than the greasy haired boy; and her solace nature counter-balanced everything he was displaying. The girl was affable.
She was open. That was a sufficient reason for both intruders to stay and to the one who doubted about Severus's mother to attract the girl's attention.
She was like the sun on a spring day.
Meanwhile Severus had jumped to his feet, clearly insulted by the pair. One shouldn't insult his mother in front of him. Lily was surprised by the sudden motion. 'Sev,' she exclaimed, her hands stretched toward him; but she didn't know what to do in fact. She feared his anger, as she already witnessed his lashing of pure wrath when they were alone in the park. This bit of his temper surely was inherited from his father. Nonetheless, the young girl refused to see that again, even less with other people around - she could understand Severus to a certain extent. His environment was toxic, unbearable in some ways, and he didn't know how to release his emotions securely. The young girl knew that no one could be as comprehensive as she. Moreover, she instantly understood that her friend had failed into their trap: he would participate in displaying a wrong image on Slytherin House.
She didn't know how to react but her feelings got the upper hand over her: a single cry escaped her lips; a cry that expressed her own despair about the situation.
'I guess you will be sorted in Gryffindor,' Severus said in a low tone, his eyes glittering. 'Regarding your intelligence…'
Those words had the same effect than a defibrillator on both intruders. The curly-haired boy restrained an insult but he moved to Severus on the motive to punch his face; otherwise he didn't, his friend had foreseen his move and contained him of acting like a Muggle, holding his friend from his armpits in a strong grip.
'Just forget his dirty words, Sirius. He doesnt deserve a single waste of energy… Here, come on, let this trash on his own…' he concluded, commanding Sirius to come out of the couch at once.
Severus was trembling fiercely, his teeth scattering with pain, this reverberating through his jaw bones.
Lily was still somewhat gobsmacked, her eyes wide by such verbal violence.
'That was rude of you to insult their intelligence,' she finally managed to say; even though her tone wasn't accusative.
'What could I do? They insulted my mother!' the boy replied hotly, bile going up in his throat. He swallowed hard, close to be nauseous. He then spent the following minutes to calm down his nerves and breath, inhaling and exhaling with cruciating pain constraining his lungs.
'I think you take it too personally, that is'; Lily countered to soothe him. These words didn't help her friend to calm down at all, still he could sit back on his side by the window and they remained silent till they reached their destination.
When the train got to Hogsmeade Station, all of the students came out in a joyous and excited tremor.
The first years suddenly were called by a giant silhouette, partly lit by a lamp - half-giant to be precise, still it was giant from their point of view. 'Firs' years, firs' years; come over here! Firs' years!'
Even though that view was quite uncanny, mostly for the pupils coming from the Muggle world, they came to the source of the voice.
Lily and Severus sticked together, nervous as they were, and made their way through the larger group of Hogwarts students to meet the half-giant who was waiting for them, a huge smile hidden under his beard but still visible.
All the first years walked for a couple of minutes to end by a lake shore. The landscape looked infinite as no one could see the other side of the bank. Nature was at its wildest. The grass was singing* alongside the wind, under the dome of that autumnal and starry night. On one hand of the shore lay the limits of a gloomy forest, whose trees blocked the view. The wind brought its noises, from unknown beasts and the murmur between the branches. It was pitch black and only could display an aura of doom if one was bold enough to decide to have a walk in it.
'We're going to land on the other side by boat.' the half-giant said when he caught their attention again. 'Only four by boat, and make sure to keep your hands from the lake or the Giant Squid would think you want to play with him!'
Some young cried from excitement and a buzzing of questions, each one as useless as the other, started to overwhelm the half-giant who, though he was pleased they were curious about that creature, tried to keep their minds off the squid and to settle in the boats in order to arrive on time.
While they travelled on the lake, their boats cutting the black lake with their lamps, the new students soon forgot about the giant squid as the castle of Hogwarts stood before them, growing larger and larger, its towers magnificent and proud standing against the sky and the Scottish wild nature. Lily's green eyes embraced this medieval architecture. She tried to memorize every single detail she could at once; then she glimpsed at Severus, her face bright.
The boy was less expressive than her, but she knew he also admired the view through a specific glee in his own orbs.
Severus surely admired the castle, but he was deep in thoughts, far away from that place. His very memories of his mother whispering to him every bit of the magical community, while both of them laid on his bed, in his tiny room at Spinner's End had rushed to his consciousness and overwhelmed him. A gush of nostalgia formed in his throat and he barely could breathe normally. He wished so dearly to have his mother by his side at this very moment to enjoy the view together; as if that would be enough to consolidate the idea they were belonging in the same world.
Something which he missed with a furious strength.
something that kept them apart anyway.
Severus finally was more sad about that wonderful view of the castle than any other feeling. He felt so lonely among the others' s enjoyment.
All the children arrived dry and complete on the bank, safely landing and finding back that dear ground. At one point, someone shouted from surprise, and everyone looked back to see an enormous tentacle coming at the lake surface, somewhat waving at them before disappearing under the deep water.
'Ay, I think he wanted to welcome you at Hogwarts too,' the half-giant commented, before he invited the whole lot to join him.
They climbed several series of stone stairs and came to a halt at some point, either because they were asked for or because of the sight of a strict woman wearing a tartan and a black hat with a large frame.
'Thank you, Hagrid', she murmured, those words only reached the pupils closest to her. She then cleared her voice and her natural authority was sufficient to grasp their attention.
'Welcome to Hogwarts everybody. As you certainly know this boarding school is the most prominent of that part of the world and is world-wide well-known for the quality of its teaching and the famous wizards and witches from Great Britain who attended this very school. In order to be clear from start, it is required that every student here should respect the rules and don't alienate themselves with behaviour, or they would be punished. That point is mostly important as each of you will be soon sorted into one of the four Houses of this school, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin; and that each behaviour will be paid by a loss of House points. On the contrary, when one acts well, either disciplinary or studying, will be rewarded. So act smart, act with solidarity, as your House will be your home for the seven following years.'
Her little speech was listened to carefully. She decided to manage a couple of silent seconds for these words to sink in their minds before demanding them to follow her in ranks.
And after she asked some of them to arrange their appearance.
As they all traveled a bit in the castle (big as it was, that was travelling), the children were half-whispering about how they would be sorted. It appeared that apart from the Muggleborn ones, legends ran across the Pure Blooded ones too. One would say that those half horrific, half humoristic anecdotes were part of the welcoming process.
Lily listened to every bit she could hear, her attentive gaze coming from one group to the other, wondering which was truthful and which was a piece of lies. Severus was walking by her side, completely focused on the architecture; noting that the staircases were moving on their own, that the painting subjects visited one another, the armours were murmuring on their way.
'What do you think about… all of these theories about how we're going to be sorted?' Lily finally dared to ask in a whisper, her very green eyes showing her worry and her seriousness.
'Only… Telltales,' Severus answered her bluntly, a bit annoyed even. Lily frowned. 'Well, my mother told me how it works and it's far away from what the others so passionately are saying.'
'So… Why do they waste their time about how it would be performed, then?'
Severus only shrugged, not understanding as well.
'Would you… tell me the truth?' she questioned timidly. 'Oh, Sev!' she exclaimed while he was smiling that "I-won't-say-anything" expression of his. 'Please! We're friends!'
'And losing the magical part of it? No.' he replied.
'But, you know, so why not?'She countered with determination in her voice.
'That's not a valid reason to spoil your own welcome to Hogwarts.'He firmly refused; focusing back on the corridor - on the gigantic corridor.
They entered in a small chamber, whose candles displayed a dim light, shaping the furniture in an area of comfort and cosyness. The witch they were following all along made them stop with a hand.
'Now, we are going to enter in the Great Hall and perform the Sorting. I will ask you to behave as the whole school will watch you.' She paused, her beady eyes coming from one face to the other to intimate all of them not to do otherwise. 'Now, if you please follow me,' she concluded while she opened another door. All of a sudden, clatter and chatter rang to their ears which had been under silence for the past couple of minutes.
Severus displayed the same attitude than earlier at the London train station. Lily squeezed his hand with hers in compassion. That was brief, as the boy was ill-at-ease with physical contact, he nevertheless appreciated that show of support and he felt more confident when he came in the Great Hall with all the other first years.
The room was spacious and bore its name properly. The ceiling was magically reproducing the outdoor weather and there were floating candle lights placed strategically above the human heads. There were four long tables full of students who all were wearing their school uniforms. They chatted animatedly but this noise changed of nature as soon as they saw the newbies. At the opposite of the entry to which the first year had come from stood a large finely sculpted door with double pan.
On their side was the staff table, and at the center of it the Headmaster was seated on a larger and more elaborate chair than his colleagues'. His half-moon glasses certainly were the less funny part of his attire. The old and powerful wizard was wearing a deep purple robe with shiny silver stars which moved haphazardly. The other members of the staff all wore more neutral robes; otherwise they all had that sort of solemnity painted on their faces.
as if that start of year feast was specific among others. Or they wanted to convey that emotion to every single beginning of term to welcome everyone on a same level.
The witch stood straight, like a soldier, she was then disciplined and she politely waited for the Headmaster to give her assent to start the sorting.
The chatter died down when Dumbledore rose to his feet and opened up his arms as to embrace all of the thousand students beneath him. He was beaming, even though it was difficult to see a smile behind his beard too. Nonetheless, his riddles showed so and his eyes were glittering from pure happiness to welcome everybody.
'Welcome all for that new year at Hogwarts. Before we start talking about serious topics, let's the sorting begin!' and he sat down on those words.
At that time, an old hat which had seen better times started to sing a series of coupled rhymes.
Then the witch placed the magical hat on its stool correctly and unrolled a long sheet of parchment. 'When I call your name, you sit on that stool and wear the Sorting Hat. As he will tell you the House you're going to belong to, you will join your mates.' she said.
The first years became frantic from anticipation and anguish to finally know where they would belong to. The other students silently waited too.
The Sorting began.
'Evans, Lily.'
The young girl met Severus's gaze and they simultaneously crossed their fingers before she did as the witch had commanded them to do.
'Gryffindor!' yelled the Sorting Hat.
Severus's face fell. She was joining one of both boys who insulted his mother and his future house.
Black. His name was Black. He had looked pleased with himself when he was sorted; nevertheless, Severus had seen some people frowning. He couldn't understand what type of frowning there were… So he had first let it aside, concentrating and crossing his fingers behind his back until it was Lily's turn. Now that she was on one of Black's side, he reconsidered those reactions.
He closed his eyes and tried to think with organization. He was good at it. Closing his mind from the distractions of the world and focus on his thoughts and memories. In addition to his motive, he needed to dig in. Even though he came from a mixed parenthood, his mother had taught him about his wizard origins - the Princes were a powerful family, she said. Enough powerful to deny their daughter…
that wasn't the time to waste on such feelings, he immediately thought, before digging in deeper on that part of his home teaching. The 28. Yes, that was that. The Blacks were part of the 28: per se a Pure Blooded wealthy and influential family. They all went to Slytherin without exception.
This boy just broke the family tradition and he was thrilled. Hm. Severus had then second thoughts, sure that meant something in regard of their relationship. Nonetheless, Severus remained disgusted and angry against Black. He won't change his mind that quickly because of bad family relationships. One couldn't excuse the other.
(yes, he also badmouthed Gryffindor but he only defended himself, right?)
'Snape, Severus!'
He broke his concentration, his limbs suddenly as steady as chewing-gum; however he let nothing of the sort showing off his face. He had been well trained as his father every often provoked him to have a good reason to slap him.
His poker face surely intrigued the professors who could see him quite well, under the candle lights and the fact he was close to the staff table. Severus didn't know it yet but all of the adults aware of his facial expression looked closely at his sorting.
The young boy sat evenly and put the Hat on. A sudden blackness came at once, he couldn't see the Hall anymore and a some sort of anxiety crashed down in his gut.
Well, well, well; a dead voice rang at his ears as soon as he wore the Hat. As Severus had already heard of the Hat's voice, his surprise was mitigated; still that was some astonishment. You want to go to Slytherin, boy? Don't be frightened, I can see deep in your thoughts - oh! You're familiar with Occlumency yet? Interesting… Still, I cannot fulfill your wish to succeed your mother on that point. Yes, I know Slytherin would quite fit your natural talents for sure but… Regarding the current situation and that strong will of yours to dwell in opposition to conventions… I only can choose…
'Gryffindor!' the Hat yelled at last.
Making the statement that Severus was gobsmacked barely depicted the hurricane that took place in his mind. The boy stayed frozen on the stool, totally albeit of where he was.
He had failed. He cruelly, strongly, sickenly had failed.
The witch came to him and hmed to remind him to let his place to the following pupil. Severus finally undressed the Hat and put it back on its stool. A buzzing at his ears cut all noise made, he couldn't see the Gryffindor table clapping to welcome him, he felt all strange in his body, as if he wasn't the possessor anymore. His obsidian eyes found out Lily in the crowd and he led his way until the table and the bench, using his friend as an anchor in the tempest of his inner self.
Once he sat, he had the feeling the ground was going to bury him.
* The Grass is singing: I seriously was tempted to make that specific reference from a book title.