Wow, I haven't updated in weeks... I feel bad for neglecting the readers...But fear not...I have an excuse. You see, with the standardized testing coming up, I'm swamped with homework, and can hardly find any time to update my precious stories. Especially this one, but I'll try to update more often.
Yay, chapter two. Finally, I was scared I wouldn't get this out at all. I changed a couple of things, Cartman's 'accent' being the biggest change, and hopefully this chapter won't be so bad. Oh, and joining us today is Tuong Lu Kim, Aka, the City Wok Guy. Say hi
CWG: hello.
Anyway, I brought you another installment of 'crab people domination' enjoy it while it lasts
"Mph thff ity mfk phy!" Kenny exclaimed, rubbing the spot on his parka covered head that had collided with the Chinese man in front of them
"No shit, Sherlock" Stan said, albeit a bit sarcastically. Everyone could see that the City Wok Guy was in front of them, rubbing the spot on his arm where Stan had crashed into him.
The City Wok Guy got up, dusted himself off, and scanned his surroundings. The streets of South Park, an hour ago bustling with the people of a search party, were now completely empty.
a lone tumbleweed blew to the middle of the street, coming to stop in front of the community center, and caught on fire.
"Sho, where is everybody?" the City Wok guy asked, looking back at the two nine-year-olds, who had by now stood up.
"Pmll..." Kenny started...and caught on fire. The orange clad boy turned to look at his two companions and shrugged, as if to say 'well, figures this would happen eventually'
With Kenny reduced to a smile pile of ashes, Stan went to stand by his remains and looked at them in a slightly bored manner.
"Oh my god, they killed Kenny" he said halfheartedly. It wasn't as much fun without Kyle around. The wind picked up and changed directions, picking up Kenny's remains along with it.
"YOU BASTARDS!" a voice said, as the wind finished scooping up the ashes formerly known as Kenny McCormick and changing directions again, heading south west.
"Kyle?!" a bewildered Stan Marsh asked, looking around wildly for his best friend. A spark of hope that his friend hadn't disappeared like everyone else came to life.
That same spark was also crushed, stomped, and liquified by a crab, figuratively Because there was nobody there.
"Sho, about eberybody ershe?" asked the City Wok guy
at the community center...
The chant went on. A constant repetition of those two words. 'crab people, crab people' over and over. On and on. It was enough to turn Jesus into a murderer.
"Face it Kahl, they're gone. Now quit whining." said Cartman, the infernal 'crab people' chant getting on his last nerves
"No, I will not, fatass" Kyle yelled, glaring daggers at his overweight friend. Both of them had their faces pressed to the glass of the Community center's almost completely indestructible door. They were in vain trying to peer outside in hopes of seeing Stan and Kenny come back with the rescue party.
"Whatever, Jew. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be stuck in heah." Cartman said, turning to glare at Kyle.
"Well, if you didn't always belittle my people, we wouldn't be in this mess either," said the angry Jew.
The two boys kept arguing for a while, ignoring the flaming tumbleweed that rolled past the door.
"Seh heah Kahl, were stuck in here. It's that simple. It could be Kenny's fault for all we know." Cartman said calmly
"I know, but I can't help feeling angry at all of us for not even bothering to check in here."
"That's it Kahl, let your anger out"
Kyle took a deep breath. "YOU BASTARDS!" he yelled. "IT'S ALL YOUR DAMN FAULT I'M STUCK IN THE COMMUNITY CENTER, HAVING TO LISTEN TO THAT INFERNAL CHANT, BEING STUCK IN HERE WITH THAT..."
Cartman covered Kyle's mouth and said. "They stopped chanting." the Jew listened, and sure enough, the chanting had stopped, and in it's place was an almost tangible silence, the only sound the two boy's breathing. The silence was almost too quiet after all the chanting.
"When'd they stop?" Kyle asked, his voice slightly muffled by the hand covering his mouth
"I don't know Jew. What I want to know is what they're up to now." Cartman said, walking over to the piled boxes by the covered windows near the roof.
The Grand Canyon, Arizona...
Kenny re-spawned next to the Grand Canyon. 'at least I didn't spawn in midair and fall into the canyon' he thought
"Mphell, omph oo Smff Pafft" Kenny said cheerfully, taking a step forward. Every journey begins with a single step.
He fell into the canyon
The streets of South Park
"They're not at Cartman's house..." said Stan, walking away from the windows and to the City Wok guy, who was standing in the driveway of the Cartman residence.
"Show, remmie get this straight. Your two friends, the fat one and the Jew are missing, and aw the parents participating in the rescue party disappeared, right.?" he asked
"Apparently. Right after the sound of crab feet actually. They're probably all over at Kyle's house or something." Stan said, leading the way to the familiar asparagus green house. "So...what have you been doing since we last saw you?"
"I..." started the City Wok guy, but he stopped abruptly when he noticed the small orange form beginning to materialize in front of them.
"Kenny!?" Stan asked
The orange clad figure nodded, once it finished spawning. "Stnf, mph immf tfmph amph mph!" he said
"You fell off the grand canyon?" a confused Stan asked in disbelief.
"mmf. Imph MPF ffm" Kenny said
"Oh, you fell INTO the canyon." said Stan. Yeah, that made more sense
Kenny nodded and asked the two where they were going now, to which the City Wok guy answered:
"Were going to shee if eberyone's at your friend's house."
"Mmphs tff hmphnt mphn mmnyphing?" Kenny asked. The other two shook their heads
back at the community center
"I can't reach it" Kyle said, his hand outstretched towards the black tarp only inches away.
"Damn good for nothing Jew." Cartman muttered
"Did you say something?" the green ushanka clad boy asked, lowering his hand and looking down at Cartman
Both boys were wondering what had happened to the chanters, and were attempting to take away a tarp so they may see outside.
"I said get off the damn boxes and let me try Kahl." the bigger boy said, standing next to the pile of boxes on which Kyle was perched.
Kyle sighed and climbed down the tower of boxes, jumping off the last one and landing next to Cartman
"You know that even if we do manage to reach a tarp, we probably won't be able to see outside anyway." Kyle said as Cartman started to climb the boxes. "I mean, it's new moon, and cloudy, and I assume most of the lights are off by now."
Cartman was at the top of the column of boxes. "Face it fatass, we can't take them off." A couple of seconds later, Cartman's fingers closed around a corner of the tarp.
"In your face, Jew" he said triumphantly, tightening his hold on the tarp and pulling on it. He took a step backwards and fell, his fingers letting go of the tarp.
Kyle winced as Cartman's body fell onto the ground, squishing a second box. While the first one contained marshmallows, this one contained Cheesy poofs.
"I told you so." Kyle said smugly
"Fuck you, Kahl" Cartman said, getting up from the squashed box. He looked around for another window that would potentially be easier to get the tarp off of.
"We can't reach them, Cartman."
"What about the air vents?" Cartman asked, climbing on top of a lone box and looking around. The dim yellow lights flickered, but it would be easier to see when the lights got brighter in the morning.
"I don't think we can reach those either." Kyle said, spotting one of the aforementioned air vents. "And I honestly doubt we can get out through there. They're to small."
"Eh, are you saying I'm fat!" Cartman exclaimed, looking at the Jew
Kyle shook his head. "I won't fit in there, what make's you think you will."
"You still haven't answered my question, Kahl"
"Well, you are fat." Kyle said bluntly
"I'm not fat, I'm big-boned!" Cartman exclaimed
"I can't wait to get out of here." Kyle said, and walked away from the angry fat kid.
In front of Kyle's house...
"Mmph ere Stmph" Kenny said, peering through the living room windows of the Brofloski residence.
"I can see that." Stan said
"Sho, where do we rook now?" the City Wok Guy asked, looking at the two nine year olds.
"They could be at Butter's house, or Tweek's" Stan said, sighing and sitting on the front steps. "They could have gone to the school, or the Community Center, or Stark's pond. Hell, they could be everywhere"
"Mmph smph iff mph" Said Kenny, grinning
"Wha'd he shay?" asked the City Wok guy, not having understood Kenny's words
Stan ignored the City Wok guy and Kenny, thinking of where everyone could be. With a sigh, he stood up again and said. "We'll just have to check everyone's house I guess."
The three of them started walking when they heard a crash somewhere. They ran to where they'd heard the noise and found a broken window at the pharmacy.
"Who's there?" Stan asked, hoping it was Kyle, or at least someone who knew where he was.
A voice from inside called, saying. "You wanna get high?"
well, there it is, Ch. 2. And I changed my mind, Kenny's gonna keep dying till ch. 10 or so, probably. Don't worry, the regular characters will keep appearing, I just won't say when. anyway, I'm sorry if it sucks
CWG: it's sucktastic
Me: but please review so that I know what you think.
And coming chapter 3, the return of the Towelie. And remember, the more reviews I get, the faster I'll (hopefully) update. :)