Well, everyone who reviewed seemed to like the multiple viewpoints, so I'll keep going. I've been spending a lot of time on youtube trying to find punishment songs for when Jack is bad, and I think I found the perfect one… but you'll have to wait to see what it is.
Disclaimer: I was going to say WeeHee, but I thought I should do at least one sensible disclaimer. I don't own Torchwood or anything recognisable.
Dragon
Ianto
Just when I thought I'd seen everything at Torchwood Jess and John turn up with a dragon. Mind you, knowing John I should hardly be surprised. I avoid talking to him because he is certifiably insane. I don't know how Jess stands it. I think she is either just as crazy or she has an inexhaustible supply of earplugs which she wears all the time to avoid hearing him. I think crazy is more likely. Somehow they got the dragon up into the hub upper levels with Myfanwy – who gave it a decidedly weird look and then went back to hide in her nest – and then Jess used it to make cheese on toast.
I swear, if I ever see any logic here I will faint from shock.
Jess
The looks we got when we turned up with a dragon were just priceless. I have devised a Torchwood work strategy: treat it like a giant party and have a really good giggle. Working so far! And like all good parties there must be junk food, so it's dragon-toasted cheese on toast for lunch. Tia is very useful. Of course this got me even weirder looks, but like I care! I get weird looks all the time.
I think I'm a bit hyper. I'm thinking in exclamation marks.
John
Bored, bored, bored, bored. Jess has refused to let me torture Jack with irritating music for no good reason. Damn 21st century morals, stealing all my fun. Gwen's not even turned up today, so at least I don't have her constantly judging me. For about the seven hundredth time, I didn't want to kill their team members. I just didn't want to get blown up. But could she forgive me? No, because that would be wrong. I think Jack sympathises with me a little. I have no idea what Ianto thinks. He hides everything. It's like a mask. Scary.
Phone ring.
Why does stuff happen right when I'm in the middle of thinking?
Jack's smiling. I think that may be a bad sign. The boss is never happy unless someone else isn't.
"Jess!"
Yeah, good luck with that one. She's recovering from a dragon experience; she'll be fazed out for hours.
"What?" Or not.
"You are going to love this. Someone just called about seeing a dragon over Cardiff bay, and would you like to guess who?"
I could see Jess thumping her head on the wall.
"Is it my brother?"
"The one and only. Has he always seen things that aren't there?"
"Oh, all the time. One little dragon will hardly make a difference."
"Especially if he doesn't remember. I want you to arrange to meet up with him and then slip him a Retcon pill."
Jack, if you seriously think Jess'll do that you have even less brain than I thought before.
"Oh, hell no. I'm not mind-wiping my own brother. Make someone else do it. Even better, don't do it at all. No one will believe him anyway."
Told you.
"Jess, it makes the most sense for you to do it. He trusts you."
"Which is why I'm not doing it. If someone trusts you then you shouldn't drug them. It's rude."
I think I should chip in here, or it will escalate into a shouting match.
"I think Jess is right. If you're so desperate for him to be retconned you should do it yourself, Jack."
"Thank you, John."
"Shut up. Last time I looked I was head of Torchwood, not you."
"Jack, for the last time I'm not retconning my brother!"
Here comes the shouting. You can't say I didn't try to stop it.
…………………
Jess is still pissed at Jack. It's actually very funny. Especially since Jack is now sulking. He's so childish sometimes. Ianto's been sent out to do the retconning. I'm not sure where Jess went. And Gwen turned up – three hours late – and got yelled at by Jack.
I'm still bored. What we need is a proper alien trying to take over the world to break the monotony. I thought work at Torchwood would be more interesting than the rest of this planet, but I was wrong. I really need to get off this planet. I'm going crazy here. Nothing ever happens.
Jess
Today is not going well. Firstly Tia and the whole dragon-bonding thing left me exhausted, then Jack wanted me to retcon my own brother, and to top it all the rift is giving me a headache. I think that's a bad sign, because normally when it happens I see something bad happening about three seconds before it does. So far I haven't seen anything, but that means absolutely nothing.
I think the best way to describe Torchwood this morning is tense. Jack's still pissed that I wouldn't retcon my brother, John is going crazy from being on one planet for too long – he thinks he can hide it, but he couldn't be more obvious if he tried – , Gwen's strung out on pregnancy hormones, I'm going rift-crazy, and Ianto's… actually Ianto's the only normal person here today. I hope we don't get any emergencies today, because if we do then no one will be working as a team.
"Jess! Where are you? We've got a rift alert!"
Christ, not so loud John, I've got a headache. And I'm not that far away. And what did I say about rift alerts now? This will end in tears.
I sound like some old granny thinking that. And that is scary.
……………………
Jack
Things like this happen at the most inopportune moments. What seems to have happened is that instead of the rift opening, letting something through and then closing again; it opened and stayed open, a huge beacon of red-gold attracting the media like moths to a flame. It seems odd that it's never done this before. I think Jess knows something about it, because I saw her and John give knowing looks. That's irritating. I hate when John knows more than me.
Jess
With the rift acting up I think I'll have to tell Jack about what it is soon. Oh, god my head hurts.
Red gold everywhere. Burning. Lost. Losing. Gone. I crave human form. I will take you and everything around you. I am the rift and no one can control me.
Sucky ending, but I couldn't take it any further without encroaching on the next chapter where the action starts and the storyline picks up properly. Review, please?