His phone buzzed against the table, vibrating the bed and ringing his already fragile head. Someone was calling. Whoever it was could wait, Jeff was hung over. A few seconds later it stopped, allowing him to drift back off to sleep.

An orange hue bore through his eyelids, informing him it was morning, or at least some point in the day. He really couldn't be bothered with the rest of it and if his body could, it would have thrown his sheets over his head and told the world to back off.

Wait who opened his curtains?

"Morning dumbass."

Crap.

"Morning sweetie. Kids dressed and off to school?" What should have sounded snarky was almost inaudible, his throat refusing to cooperate.

"Good to see your alive dumbass. Though your jabs could use some work."

With all his strength, which really wasn't that much at all, he turned his body around to stare at the pointy faced blonde who was standing by his bed.

"Do you only know the one insult?"

Her arms folded, she huffed a reply before walking out of his room, leaving his door open as she left.

"Dumbass."

It took Jeff a full hour to gather the strength to leave his bed, though the blankets wrapped around his head and shoulders made the move bearable. Each step shook his whole body and by the time he'd made it to the kitchen, where his former fiancée had already propped herself next to the counter, his face was a grimace of pain and pity.

"Sleeping beauty awakes. Or should I be calling you Prince charming?"

His response, a pathetic murmur, enticed a smile from her lips as she slid him a mug of coffee.

"No I can't really can I? The way I remember the stories, the Prince actually manages to get the girl." She stared at him for a moment, studying his face as he took a sip.

"So your here to rub it in?" He hadn't looked up from his coffee, staring at the bubbles as they slowly vanished.

"Not really, I came to see how you were doing. And make sure you didn't, you know." She made a series of awkward hand gestures and gagging noises before Jeff finally got what she was saying.

"You mean kill myself? Come on."

"I know you wouldn't, but some people were insistent I come."

"That was an accident."

"So was penicillin."

"Wait what?" He turned his head to her and winced.

"I dunno. How are you feeling, after your performance last night? Very Say Anything by the way."

"You've been hanging around with Abed too much."

"Well I was with him last night..."

He shot a look at her, his eyes widening as he realised the implications of what she had said. It was one thing for the others to simply find out what he did. He was kind of expecting that. But if they actually saw it, he'd be ruined.

Crap.

"Yeah." She said, not realising he'd said it out loud.

For a few minutes the kitchen was silent, each taking it in turns to drink their coffee, neither one making serious eye contact or conversation. After the majority of his coffee was gone, he placed the mug down and, pulling off the sheets he still wore, turned to Britta.

"So, couple of things. Firstly, why are you here?"

"I'm the one that took you home, dumbass." He internally flinched at that last word. It might not be clever but it was certainly apt.

"Thought you'd just arrived."

"After managing to drag your freakishly tall body to the bed I headed home. Your couch is lumpy and there's no way I'm sharing a bed with someone who smells THAT much like alcohol. Like seriously, how much did you drink?"

"I don't remember. At some point I stopped caring about taste and just started ordering the cheap stuff."

"Quantity over quality huh? Wow you must be broken."

Her words left a palpable pause in the air.

"How did you even find me?"

"Abed. He still has those tracker thingies somewhere on us. I'd complain about our civil liberties but it did help us find you."

"You shouldn't have looked."

"We weren't going to. After you left we guessed from the direction you were going that you were heading to L Street. I'm all for drinking your troubles away but when your red blinky thing-"

"Indicator"

"Icon? Whatever, when your thing hadn't moved in 5 hours we figured it was time someone got you. We rock - paper - scissored it to see who'd fetch you."

"We?"

"Me and Abed."

"Right." He hung his head as he spoke, wishing more than just a little that he was still in bed.

"How is-"

"I dunno." She cut him off abruptly. "And I'm not here to help play matchmaker either."

"Who'd want you to?" He was slowly getting some of his snark back.

"I'm just letting you know, after she came back inside she went straight to her room. Haven't seen her since."

For a few more seconds the air grew tense before a devilish smirk appeared on Britta's lips. A smirk that didn't go unnoticed by Jeff.

"What?"

"Just reminding myself what a dumbass you are." She scoffed before continuing. "I mean, a white horse and carriage? Really?!" It was now a full blown laugh and, while the noise was making his head hurt, Jeff couldn't help but smile at her reaction.

"Yeah, completely ridiculous right?"

"Beyond ridiculous. Insane maybe. Unfathomable definitely. Come on Jeff, did you really think that was going to work?"

He gave her that hang dog, the one he'd grown so accustomed to giving when caught out.

"Oh my god you did! You actually thought that would work!"

Slamming her mug on the counter and folding her arms, she leaned back triumphantly.

"Dumbass."

"Yeah." Did he always sound this defeated?

Relaxing her arms for a moment she turned away from him and stared out the window.

"I didn't even get a ring..."

"Huh?"

"Never mind." She stood up and headed for the door, patting his shoulder lightly as she passed him.

"Call me if you need anything, I've got some amazing hangover cures at home. All natural."

"Yeah, because they always do wonders with you."

"Maybe I'll go pick you up a Y chromosome while I'm out too."

Silence.

She had fully expected some sarcastic response from him, one denouncing her and her hypocrisy about gender roles but, nothing. The smirk on her face fell a little as she reached the door. She turned one last time to look at him. His back, which seemed so big before, was hunched and shrivelled, the sheets from his room forming a puddle at his feet.

"You know, you seemed so much cooler when I first met you."

Silence.

With a sigh she opened the door and, before any part of her brain convinced her to stay, she left, leaving Jeff alone with an empty mug and his hangover.

Wait, he hadn't even asked how she'd gotten in.