Disclaimer: Don't own squat…except Kisa. Others authors may use him AS LONG AS YOU ASK FOR PERMISSION FIRST AND GIVE ME CREDIT! Just saying.
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Training
They stood there in awe as they watched their Commander dance with his blade with another cadet. Usually the gunblade specialist didn't fascinate them anymore with his sparring since they trained with him almost everyday…but today was different. The blonde was sparring with his four-year-old son attached to his leg. At first they thought he would be injured during the spar, but that thought was soon banished when Seifer would just move at of harm's way. The man would never bring the Balamb Cub into anything that would surely harm him.
"SEIFER!"
The dueling pair stop, and they, as well as the onlookers, look in the direction of the voice. A wince immediately came from Seifer when they found a very pissed off Headmaster, and he quickly puts on a shit-eating grin. Fuck.
"Yes kitten?"
Squall glares daggers at the older man. "You brought Kisa into the Training Center."
"So? I've done it a million times. I wouldn't bring him if I wasn't positive I could-"
"YOU'RE SPARRING WITH HIM ATTACHED TO YOUR LEG! HE COULD GET HURT!"
Seifer scoffs. "Please Squall. You're the only one that could actually manage to touch him in a spar, and it wouldn't happen because you won't hurt your own cub."
Squall's ears redden once he processes the stares of cadets mentally debating whether to stay or go. "I told you to leave him with Irvine if I'm in a meeting."
"That hardly happens half the time. The baby refuses to let me go for an hour…but fine. I'll watch from the side for the rest of the day today."
"You better."
Squall sends a threatening glare not only to Seifer, but to the cadets as well. If there was so much as a bruise on his cub…Seifer would not be the only one getting punished. The Headmaster walks away after a satisfactory cringe from the students and Seifer walks over to a nearby tree stump and sits on it.
"You heard him. Find a partner to spar with."
The students nod numbly and begin their separate duels and Kisa takes the opportunity to crawl into his father's lap.
"I'm sorry I got you in trouble…"
Seifer sighs and ruffles blonde fluff affectionately. "Yeah. You better be. Your mom is such a joy kill."
Baked
Irvine stared at the Headmaster in bed as Seifer tended to his needs. The blonde had called him to come take Kisa for the night, but didn't give a reason why. Well…now he knew. Squall had apparently been chewed up by a Behemoth and when he got back to Garden, surprisingly still in one piece, Dr. Kadowaki healed whatever wounds she could and wrapped the ones remaining before following it with some pain killers. She had given him a little too much, because now Squall was not only pain free…but also loopy. Irvine wasn't sure if it should disturb him or not that the normally quiet brunette was talking. Endlessly.
"Seifer…Seifer. Who's that adorable little boy and the tall man next to him?"
"For the tenth time. Your son and one of our best friends."
"Did we adopt? He looks a lot like you though. Did you have a baby with someone else before we were together?"
Irvine could tell that Seifer was desperately suppressing the urge to bash his head against the wall.
"No kitten…he came from you."
"What? That's a lie! We're both male…right? I'm a male right?"
The sharpshooter stifles a laugh as Squall raises the covers to, he assumed, check his sexuality. When delicate brown eyebrows scrunch together in confusion, Irvine almost had to run out of the room with a very worried Kisa. He had obviously figured out for himself that he was indeed, male.
"Squall…my half-baked lion…go to sleep. When you wake up, I'll tell you how babies come from boys okay?"
The brunette seemed pleased enough with the idea as he settled under the covers. "You promise?"
"Yes. Now…I can't believe I'm actually going to say this to you…but please shut the hell up."
"Meanie."
Irvine blinked. Did Squall just call Seifer that?
"Papa?"
Seifer leads the other two out of the room and retrieves an overnight duffle bag from the child's room and hands it to Irvine.
"Are you gonna fix Momma?"
Seifer smirks. "Don't worry kid. Momma will be back to his normal cold self by tomorrow. So you have fun with Uncle Irvine and don't stay up too late."
"Okay."
The older blonde kisses the top of his son's head, and Irvine leads him to the front door, but looks back at Seifer.
"You did record him and take a few pictures to torment him later…right?"
"Of course. Otherwise, I wouldn't be the bastard husband he knows and loves."
Irvine nods in approval and leaves the house with Kisa with a smile on his face. If he knew Seifer, the man would threaten to give the evidence to Selphie, and everyone knew that when Selphie knew something…everyone knew it.
Try
"Squall?"
"Hnn?"
"What the hell is this?"
Seifer motions toward the blackened chicken strips and the brunette shrugs.
"Chicken strips and fries."
"Who the fuck said you could cook?"
"Kisa was hungry and you were taking a nap."
"Oh shit…please don't tell me the baby ate this."
Squall pouts. "No. He looked at it once before walking away saying he'd wait until you woke up."
Seifer's head met the table in relief. If that wasn't something to be relieved about, then he didn't know what was. From the looks of the food, Squall had used a few things he wasn't supposed to.
"How did you fry them Squall?"
"On a pan with oil like the directions said."
Seifer dreaded the answer to his next question. "What oil?"
"Gunblade oil."
Seifer decided that the table was a good place to start trying to crack his skull as he began to smack his head repeatedly against it. He loved the brunette. He really did…but he was so damn naïve when it came to cooking.
"Babe. Repeat after me: The uses of gunblade oil are limited to gunblades and your ass."
"Seifer-"
"DO IT!"
Squall rolls his eyes. "The uses of gunblade oil are limited to gunblades and my ass."
"Yes. Now. Repeat after me again: The oils used for cooking are either vegetable, canola, or olive oil if nothing else is available. That shit is expensive."
"I get it Seifer. I'll leave the cooking to you so I don't poison our cub."
"Thank you. You possibly could have saved me from an early death."
"Seifer?"
"What babe?"
"Repeat after me: I must NEVER do the fucking laundry because I mix the colors with the whites."
Seifer brushes his hand through his hair. "Okay. We're even. You leave cooking to me, and I'll leave cleaning to you."
"Good. Now fix lunch for the cub."
Misunderstanding
The two stared helplessly at Kisa as he cried. The cadets had accidentally bumped into the boy while he was eating his ice cream, which caused the sweet treat to topple onto the floor. The didn't have a single gil in their pocket, and they were to afraid to go tell one of his parents.
"What do we do? Walk away?"
"No! He'll rat us out! Maybe we can tell Instructor Kinneas. He's a little more lenient."
"He has a class right now."
"I guess we'll have to-"
"That's pretty low. Picking on little kids and making them cry."
The two boys stiffen at the sound of knuckles cracking and then slowly turn around to find Zell.
"I-Instructor…w-we…it's not what you think!"
Blue eyes flare with anger. "Humor me."
"We weren't paying attention and we bumped into him!"
"He dropped his ice cream."
Zell blinks at the two before turning to the sniffling child and kneeling down.
"Kisa…is what they said true?"
Kisa hiccups and nods. "I'm sorry Uncle Zell…"
"Sorry for what? An accident is an accident. Come on. I'll get you a new one."
The younger blonde nods and takes the martial artist's hand, who looks back to the cowering cadets and points at the sticky mess on the ground.
"Clean it up, and next time, pay attention to where you're walking."
The two students nod and Zell takes Kisa back to the cafeteria. Once the child is seated at a table with a new ice cream and eating happily, the older blonde sighs and crosses his arms.
"You've got the entire Garden eating out of your hand."
