Chapter 1: not enough madness
"What are you talking about? Why would I consider that dead fish creepy person a friend? I fear for my chastity because of his creepy eyes. And his personality is bottom to the core. Meeting him is always I wanted to avoid"
'Madam, your insulting is getting too far.'
"Hikki as my friend? Who are you kidding? It's just making up for saving my sable."
'Okay. Both of you please stop.'
"Pfft! How funny Yui-senpai. No I don't think Senpai as a friend. He's just a tool to me for the student council works~"
'I SAID STOP IT! ENOUNGH IS ENOUNG!'
[A.N: YO guys. Pls put on ur headphone and play orange(OST) from 'Your lie in April']
I woke up from dream. No it wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare. How? It's pretty simple. When you don't want to face the truth, then it became a nightmare. Well this is reality which is cruel and unjust. And why I was having a nightmare because I had enough to face the truth. So I decided to run away.
VRRR….
My phone suddenly vibrated. I unlocked my phone. I saw many missed calls and messages.
3 missed calls & 4 messages from Yui Yuigahama.
5 missed calls & 10 messages from Komachi. Oh my cute little sister. And…
49 missed calls & 256 mes…No! 263 mess..Wait 269 messages FROM HIRATSUKA-SENSAI ! And it was increasing.
'SERIOUSLY! HOW CAN THIS OLD UNMARRIED YENDERE TEACHEAR DO IT! ?'
I sighed.
Whatever. I didn't want to answer those calls or messages. So I threw it away from the window of the bus. Yes I was in the bus and I soon will leave Chiba city. I'm pretty serious serous about. I didn't want to live there anymore. So I got on bus and let's see to where my fate took me.
The bus stopped at last bus stop. Then I out of Chiba. Currently, there was no one in the bus except me. Well I am a longer so begin along here is nothing special. A guy got in the bus and sat beside me. Hey can you sit anywhere else? This guy looks same age as me. He was wearing Detach hood leather jacket, black T-shirt and straight jeans. This guy really had good tastes of fashion along with black spiky hair. If you thinking what I was wearing, it was Cotton Stand Collar Lightweight Military Windbreaker Jacket. Pretty good choice wasn't it. And this guy was definitely a riajuu.
Riajuu go die.
The guy suddenly looked at me. Opps I was too much staring at him. I look away and apologized to him. He smiled at me and said, "Don't worry dude. It's not your fault that I look awesome. Right?" …Okay I take it back and tried ignore him. He was like 2nd version of Tobe.
"Jine kohe char din ohooho~ Baki he bekar din ohooho~" suddenly screaming. I had no idea what was he saying. Then he looked at me. "Dude, do you want to know what the meaning of this song is?" Oh it was a song.
"Nope. No idea. Not interested. " I said with monotony voice and tried to calm myself. 'What's this guy want from me?'
"Okay, then let me explain it for you." Were you even listing to me? "This song was sung by the super famous actor in South Asia, Salman Khan. The meaning of this song was that our Youth is limited. So in this limited time, don't waste your time in thinking of what to do. Just do what you want. Because life and youth never come twice. Did you understand it, Hikigaya Hachiman?"
Oh. I understand that this song had really deep meaning. It was not like I interes….Wait!
"Hold it. How do know my name?"
"You should ask why I wouldn't know you. Hikigaya Hachiman, the student of Sobu High, a loner. You are very smart and had a twist personality but kind guy. Your favorite drink is MAXX Coffee. You have little sister named Hikigaya Komachi. You are a member of...What was the name...Oh yeah the service club. Many people called you 'The Monster of Logic' or the king of loner. And right now you are leaving this city because you found the truth of those people who you trusted. Am I right, brother?"
'What the h…' my face became pale. He knew everything about me just who…
"Who are you?" I said with very coldly and glared at him.
"Watchdog."
"..." I was still glaring at like Ice queen.
"Okay okay. I am just kidding. Hey! Stop glaring at me. It's scary. Are you pissed off?" He said and faking like a scary cat.
'OBIOUSLY I AM PISSED OFF!' I calm myself and looked at him again.
"Just what you want from me?" I had really bad feeling for this.
"Straight to the point. I really like that part of you~"
"If you don't cut the crap, I will call the police." Now I was glaring like Fire queen.
"Hey! Chill out. Okay, listen carefully. I won't repeat again because I don't have much time. I had a Vision and because of this, I can see many possibility of future. Now what I saw that was after few minutes the world will destroy by a ruler. Only your right decision cans this world. Trust me on this. You are the hope."
What the hell. I didn't understand what are you saying?
"I don't know what are you saying but don't hope on me. Because hope is road of disa-"
"Hide!"
Suddenly a meteor shower crushed on mountain. The all glasses of windows of the bus broke down. Wait how did I come here. I thought I was already in Tokyo.
"OK. Break time ends. Let's go eight. Grab your bag." Said and he stood up from seat. I grabbed my bag and forced me out from bus.
"WAIT! How did I end up here?"
"Oh! I just bribe the driver."
"YOU-"
"Catch it." He threw something to me. I catch it and it was a gun. A real GUN!
"Hey? This-"
"Don't worry. There are only knock-out bullets inside. So it just knocks them out."
"And knock out whom?"
"You will find out soon. And don't drop your bag here. A pair of clothes is recommended. Got it?"
I nobbed and was following him. I put my gun in bag. He even knew I had pair of clothes. And I though only women were scary.(lol)
"Eight you can see the smoke. Go up there. I am coming after you." Said, then he was going other way.
"AND where are you going?" I asked him.
"Well I was…just.." he showed pinky finger. I understand.
"Oh! You want to go toilet AT A TIME LIKE THIS!" I said with a very angry voice.
And he just disappeared in shadow. Seriously?
Well I didn't know why but I was following the smoke. I finally reached the source of smoke.
But I couldn't believe what I was seeing. An Alien Spaceship in an empty valley. I couldn't hold myself and went to that ship out of curiosity.
It was a tiny, white, weird shape spaceship. Suddenly the front window type gate opened and a hand came out. Maybe I should help him. So I grabbed his hand. Woah! His hand was really soft like totsuka. I pulled him out. Correction: it was not 'him', it was 'her'. Yep a girl with long bubble gum pink hair and emerald eyes was pulled out. This girl looks same age as me or younger than me. I would be lying if I said she wasn't beautiful. And she was wearing really…Weird…Embarrassing white colored cosplay. Whatever…
"Yeess~. It was successful escape. YEAA~" The girl overjoyed.
"Hey? Are you okay?" I asked her. She was looking at me with a confusing face. Oi, don't worry. I wasn't hitting on you. She was gonna say something-
"Lala-sama! I am sorry but I am running out energy." A voice came out nowhere.
"Woah! Who said that?" I asked. The girl answered my question.
"Oh! She is Peke, all-costume robot, who acts as a module to form my clothing. Isn't she cute?" and showing me the giant hat that had two thick swirl. 'Do you think I'm stupid?'
"Nice to meet you." The hat spoke. 'It actually spoke?!' ButI didn't answer. Because I couldn't see its body. So I just nobbed.
"Lala-sama! I-" then that hat fell from her hair and that cosplay dress was vanishing.
What the…'she is totally naked. Wait isn't this fic T-rated right?'
Inner voice 1: 'Hey don't stare too much! Look away.'
Right.
Inner voice 2: 'Just don't look away. Give her the clothes.'
Right.
I dropped my bag, put out the pair of cloth from and gave to her, "Take these clothes."
First she looked at me with confuse. Then she took it.
"Aa.. Thank you~. By the way, what's your name?"
"Hikigaya Hachiman." Nope. Not looking.
"I am Lala." That girl entered my personal area. "I came from planet Deviluke. Mmm.. You look scary but you are really kind and nice guy. Right, Peke~?" whatever it was, please put some clothes.
"You are right, Lala-sama. Even he looks creepy." Said by tiny weird looking robot which was transformed from hat. It had a round head with two thick swirl shaped black eyes and visible no mouth and nose. 'And thanks for praising me with indirect insult.'
"Hey, Hachi why your face so red?" she asked me out of curious. I turned face away.
"JUST PUT SOME CLOTHES ALREADY!" Dose this girl had any sense of shame?
It was already late at night. The sky wasn't clear.
"Done~"
I turned to her. The sky suddenly became clear. She was wearing my clothes which were usually my tracksuits and her breasts were too tight in it like Takao. 'Wow she look more beautiful under the moonlight.' Just one thing didn't add up. It was feature like tail which extends down from the base of her back and her tail is long, thin, and ends with a heart-shaped tip. First I thought it was part of her cosplay.
"Hey, why your face getting so red?" asked, the gir…Lala came close. Too close!
"Nope. It's nothing. By the way, what is this on your back?" I asked out of curiosity.
"That! It's my tail; part of my body." And she shamelessly showed it me. 'Yep this girl is an airhead.'
Oh I see. Now I think of it, a girl came out from a spaceship. So basically she is must be alien. Nope , that's not right. It was totally illogical. Maybe it was all nothing but pranks. While I was thinking about it I caught her tail...or...I accidently caught her tail...
" Hyaa-?! STOP T!" suddenly she started screaming. I released her tail.
"Oi, I did nothing to you. Stop screaming." I yelled at her
"YOU JERK! AS a Deviluke, my tail is the most sensitive part of the body. Be Careful with it"
"Lala-sama, did you forget we are in Earth. Earthling is the most creepy and selfish creature of the entire universe." The tiny robot commented. 'Earthling? You mean us, human?'
"Hey, both of you are trying picking a fight with me. What are you, Son Goku?" No more insulting. I have enough tolerated insults for a year. NOT ANYMORE.
"EHH! Why are getting angry? Your eyes look really scary. Beside even though I have a tail, It doesn't I'll transform when I look at moon." –Lala. This one was really a spoiled brat.
"We've finally found you." Suddenly our conversation was cut off by strange voice I was gonna saying anything. I looked around to source of voice. There were two men in black suit standing in front of our eyes. They both had huge muscles; both were wearing sunglasses and formal suits like CIA. Man, they both looked really scary and people say I'm the scariest (lol).
"Mm…Peke?" Lala looked at that toy.
"Yes, Lala-sama?" that toy answered.
"You said you turn off SPS. So how they find us?"- Lala.(T.N: SPS= Space Positioning System. It's like GPS in space.)
"I did. But maybe after the crashed, it accidently turns off. Sorry for not to notice."-Peke.
"Mou… YOU IDIOT! NOW EVERYTHING WENT DOWN THE DRAIN!" She puffed her cheeks in anger.
"I never thought that you would come to this 'Remote Area'." The blonde haired guy said. Somehow that guy remained me the fake smile expert Hayama if you remove the scar.
"But now…This is the end of your game of Tag." The black hair guy said.
"Now! If you would, please come with us" The blonde guy said.
"…." Lala didn't say anything. Whoa! What with these tense?
"Now come with us" the black haired guy said
"I DON'T WANNA!" Lala yelled like a spoiled child.
"Then we have no other choice but force you" the blonde said and grabbed her arm.
"NO!...LET ME GO!..."said, Lala bit his hand. Then they tried to capture her by force.
Even so…What was going on? Let me analyzed it. An alien ship was crash in valley out of nowhere. Then a girl named Lala came out from ship and called herself an alien; also a hat was talking. After that, two guy looked like CIA; they both had disturbing tail like Lala came out of nowhere and were still capturing her. Now the biggest question was what I'm doing here? And how I did get involved? Just…GIVE A BREAK! Whole entire thing that spiky boy's fault. Where did he go?
Inner voice 1:'Hey whose fault it is, don't just stand there like idiot. Do something.'
Inner voice 2:'Yeah. Just think what they will do after they kidnapped her? What kind of gentleman are you?'
Okay. I got it. After all, prank or not I am still a gentleman. So I grabbed out my gun and threw to that blonde guy. Because of off guard, it hit right to his head. That guy fell down. Strike. Then I grabbed Lala's hand and ran away. You know, what people say 'Run for Life' and that was what I was doing. The other guy shouted. But I didn't stop. Lala looked at me with surprise and asked me, "Hachi!?"
"Stop asked! Just keep running." I said. But…
"But Hachi…Why?"Asked again. And my name wasn't Hachi.
"I DON'T KNOW WHY! But in a situation where a girl is about to kidnapped right front of my eyes… and my inner voices were yelling at me, I CAN'T JUST STAY QUITE AND NO DOING EVEN I AM IN DENGER OR NOT! HOW can I say myself " I yelled and ran with my full strength. Lala looked at me with different expression but I ignored.
OH that toy was flying. But they were reaching to us. Shit. They almost catch us.
(Play: My Hero Academia OST - Berserk Battle Extended from YouTube and imaging the next lines in slow motion.)
"Bat Drop Attack" suddenly someone shouted. I turned around and saw that spiky hair boy drop kicked right to the blonde's face. The guy crashed down on a tree. Serves you right, Hayama…er..No. the other guy surprised but the boy didn't stop. He punched the other guy with brass knuckles of heavy metal and floored him down. That was must be really hurt. "O…ouch…Man that's hurts. Now I understand Deadpool's pain when he punches Colossus. AA…" He stared to tear cry and rubbed his hand. Totally a fake cry.
"Who is he?" Lala asked me
"Dunno and don't want to know." I answered and i didn't want to know about him because he was an absolute stalker. But Lala, you were too much staring at me.
"We finally meet again, Hachiman." He came to us, greeted me. Then he looked down and smirked. "I knew it, you are a fast mover, Hachi-Romeo-Kun~." First I didn't get it but I noticed that I was holding her hand very tightly. I awkwardly released her. I looked at her and she was blushing. I looked away. Why the hell this 'no sense of shame' girl was blushing? Danm… it was really embarrassing.
"Whatever it is, isn't it too illogical to ran way with her?" He asked with devilish smile. Sorry I didn't get it.
"Sorry I don't get it. Please elaborate it." I said but I had a bad feeling.
"I mean she is an alien and those MIB guys are really super strong that what I experience just now. And leave them run away for save your own life isn't the best and logical option. Am I right?" He said and was still smilling. But he had a point.
"I understand what you are saying. I know it wasn't logical but I could just stand and let happen." I said with cold tone.
He still continued "Even so is it right? After all, you are monster of logic. Logic is your swo-"
( please turn on DARLING in the FRANXX OST - Torikago)
"Don't forget that Monster also has a heart." I said it with deadpan tone and cut him off. My voice became colder. "AND saving her is more logical then saving your own life. And if you think it as wrong, then you are worst then a monster."
…
Spiky & Lala both looked at me. Lala looked at me amazed and spiky one with please smile. What? And why I have a feeling like I took bait?"
"Even you act rouge but you are kind as expected, Hachiman." Spiky said. 'You don't have the right to say my name.' And Lala hugged me tightly for some unreason. Hey I can feel those soft things. Get off me?! But she was so freaking strong.
"How lovely" the spiky clapped his hand. "OH! I forget to introduce myself. Allow me introduce. I am Sid. It's my first and last name. But for some reason many people called Black Cat. Dunno why?"
"I am Lala. Nice to meet you" Lala said with bright smile. Too Bright!
"As you already know, I am Hikigaya Hachiman. I think I know why people called you black cat, because you are a stalker or maybe you have really a very bad luc-"
Our conversation were cut off. Suddenly a huge heavy tree came crashing down in front of us. We both got surprise. Sid's mouth form '0' shape and put his hand on his cheeks. The blonde was the one who threw it and they were coming toward to us. What a crazy strength?!..
"Hey don't come or you have to face the god of war." Sid said and pointed at me. Oi?
"Don't INTERFERE, Earthling." Blond guy said.
"..." the other one was silent and glaring at me. Sorry man but you got the wrong idea.
"Lala-sama…Stop trying to run away from Home. Please come with us." Blonde say.
"I don't want to!" Lala refused.
"Yeah where is the justice?", Sid joined her.
"Indeed. If she don't wa….WAIT! What?!" My face became like an idiot...or you can say I became confused. "Run away from home?"
"I had enough!" she was yelling "I don't care if I'm a successor or whatever! I'm tried of meeting future husband candidates every day! Beside I already found someone." I was still looking like an idiot.
"but Lala-sama. This is your father's will."- Blonde.
Future husband? Father's will? Ok, what was I missed? 'Someone please tell me what's happening?'
"I don't care" lala said and pulled out a cellphone from pocket. Wait was she hide it in pocket whole time? Then Lala typed something in her cell phone and suddenly a strange octopus looking giant robot came out of the phone..."Go-Go Vacuum-Kun! Now go suck them up."
" NO! IT's ONE OF THE LALA-SAMA'S INVENTIONS!" The both guys schemed. Was it that dangerous?
(playFallin´ Angel from To LOVEる -とらぶる)
Then the robot opened its mouth and sucked them up.
'Amazing! Like vacuum!' Sid and I both amaze. You know what? First I thought everything was nothing but a prank show. Maybe I was wrong. But…I saw some spark from octopus which was giving me bad vibes. And I was right...That octopus suddenly created storm in air. Everything started flying around into the storm included me, Sid and Lala.
""WWHHAAAAA!"" Sid & I both screamed.
"Peke!" Lala called toy that I almost forget.
"Yes. Lala-sama" Peke flied to Lala with bright light. Then it warped Lala's whole body and transform into that weird cosplay. Well, I saw many magical girl transforms in procure. But that was kind of ecchi. After that, Lala spirited out her wings to get out from the storm and was some thinking.
" SSSTTTOOOPPP TTTHHHIIISSS RRROOO…..?!" I said with spinning round and round.
"But Hachi I don't know how to stop it." Lala answered. 'Then why you used it in the first place?!'
The octopus exploded. I flew up and I got stuck in a tree because of the explosion. Then Lala came and helped me to get down. But…
Sid flew up to high and fell to the ground. But he survived and he got up. "Oww…. Well people was right about 'more higher you fly, more harder you fall'. Now I got the proofs." Said and was scratching body. Well I agreed with this one. "BTW Lala-nee, you said you found someone as your love. Who is he?" yeah you were right. Who was HE?
"Oh! Well. He is standing right beside me and you." Lala answered with cheerful smile. Yep she was an energetic airhead. But beside..wait that mean… Sid & Lala looked at me.
Huh?!
"Please now I am in your care.", Lala said with gentle tone.
"Huh?"
"CONGRATULATION! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. AND I GOT A SISTER-IN-LAW. YEEAAAI!" Sid expressed his enjoyment.
"HUH!?" Only this word was coming from my mouth.
"Well it was one of the possibility I saw…" Sid said when he realized something. "But the grand finally will start now." Wait.. there was mor….
My thought was suddenly cut off by a blue thunder which hit the ground out of nowhere… and two people came out. Sid was clapping his hand out of enjoinment. "OHHOHOO! Super hero landing ". Shut up Deadpool.
One of them had greyish hair and blue eyes. He was wearing his demonic-like armor and also a cape and carries a big green energy sword. He also had a tail but his tail was thin and very scorpion-like . Also he has a muscular body for sure. And the other of them was a little kid who had red eyes and spiky black hair as same as Sid. He was look like slightly devilish, with shark-like teeth and the characteristic long tail in the shape of a trident.
I sighed. "Give a break. Why this madness isn't ending? I am already exhausted."
"Maybe~ there wasn't enough madness." Sid responded to my comment. I sighed again and though why I always got involved in weird thing.
The kid came towards to us and looked at Lala, "Lala,"
"Papa?" Lala looked at the kid with a bit tense. 'Wait?! PAPA! This kid is her Father?'
.
.
.
Just give me a break already!
Yo, guys. What's up? This is 8hood who has always a great respect brother Hikigaya. I know it's a little late. I sincerely apologized for that. Hope you all like it and forgive for error mistake. Also thanks to Reaper007 who was helping me in correction. But…
Inner voice 8: Dude. I don't know what people think but I think u r suck at pov. :-\
I know that. So I decided next all chapters will be 3rd pov. Then see a later. Oh forget to tell ya fanservice totally included and Lala isn't alone, more is coming. Also you are thinking who is Sid? Don't worry him in omake. But for then bye-bye~
To continued….