"Your dad?" Ste wasn't able to hide his surprise. "Brendan never mentioned anything of you being here."
"Oh you know my son as well, then? It seems he's too busy to come and see his old man, Cheryl has been trying to contact him." Seamus gave a warm smile to his daughter, but Ste could see how uncomfortable she was feeling when her smile dropped soon as Seamus turned his attention back to him. "How do you know my son?"
Cheryl's eyes were pleading when he looked Ste past his dad, like begging him not to say too much. "We... we work together." Ste said. He had no idea what was going on but it seemed that Seamus was oblivious about him and Brendan living together, and Ste wasn't going to out him to this man. Brendan hadn't talked much about his dad but Ste knew enough – the beatings, the emotional abuse he had put Brendan through while he was a kid. Seamus was giving Ste pleasant smile but the hairs on back of Ste's neck were standing like he could sense the danger even when wasn't seeing it.
"Really now? And what does that son of mine do these days?"
"He's my... business partner. We own a place together." There was a cold sweat running down Ste's neck. He felt trapped, like every answer he gave would throw Brendan in danger but Seamus seemed too intrigued now to allow Ste exit.
"Yes, dad, Ste is a amazing chef, he does the best foods in town." Cheryl was clearly thinking the same, trying to take the subject away from Brendan but it didn't quite work.
"And what does Brendan has to do with food?" Seamus laughed. "He knows nothing else than how to eat it."
"He's the manager." Ste was aware of the edge on his voice. "He runs everything while I cook."
"And where is this place of yours? Cheryl has never mentioned it, but it now seems like we need to come and visit it one day, if that's the only way I can meet my son." Seamus smiled at Cheryl again, who gave him the fakest smile Ste had ever seen.
"Listen, daddy, why don't you go ahead for the car, I'll have something I need to talk with Ste so I'll catch up in just a minute."
"Alright, darling." He reached his hand for Ste who hesitated for a second before shaking it. "It was pleasure to meet you, Steven."
"Call me Ste." He couldn't stand hearing that coming from the man who had hurt the person Ste loved the most. Seamus gave them a last smile before starting to walk down the street. Soon as he was out from hearing distance Cheryl grabbed Ste's arm.
"Oh, God, Ste, I'm so, so sorry! How are we going to tell Brendan about this?"
"He doesn't know?"
"Of course he doesn't know! I didn't want him here, I swear, ever since Brendan told me what he used to... But he called me one day, and I told him about the engagement because he's still my dad, and next thing I knew he was behind my door saying he wants to stay with me until the wedding. I have been trying to keep him from Bren but if dad now wants to come to your place I don't know how to stop him!" She looked ready to cry. "What am I going to do?"
"You haven't told him that me and Brendan live together?" Ste had to make that clear. "How do you think he'll react to that?"
"Well, he doesn't even know Brendan's gay. I know," she sighed when he saw the look on Ste's face, "They haven't talked to each other in years, and now when I know why I'm not surprised. I know dad has his thoughts and learning his only son is gay... But he will, won't he, if he's going to hang around, I can't hide things from him for ever."
"We have to tell Brendan, to give him the heads up."
"I know." Cheryl groaned. "Listen, I'll call him later, okay, and tell him dad's here. Can you keep this to yourself till then, please?"
"I don't want to lie to him." Ste hated the idea of not telling him, but he hated the idea of Brendan getting stressed after the good mood he had been. "Call him tomorrow, yeah? You're not coming to to eat in our place tonight, won't you, so he can have one last night before we drop the bomb."
"We already have plans for tonight. I'll call him first thing tomorrow and break it in. Ste, I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault." Still, Ste couldn't help but thinking how Cheryl could just tell Seamus to fuck off. She seemed to sense his thoughts.
"I know he's been awful to Bren but he's still my dad and it's hard to believe he's a man who's done all those things Brendan says... I do believe him, of course I do, but still it's... It's hard."
"I know. Let's just try to get this sorted. I'll be there for Bren when you tell him, and help him how ever I can." Ste was determined not to let this ruin their happiness. Cheryl smiled at him.
"I'm so happy he has you now. Listen, I better go before he gets suspicious. I'll be in touch."
"Bye." Ste watched her go, and then he tried to focus on finishing his shopping before getting back home. It was hard though, when all his thoughts were revolving around the man he had just seen, and trying to think how Brendan would react when he would hear his dad was in town.
He tried to remember his own reactions when he had bumped into Terry after he had moved out and had lived with Amy. He had been angry and scared. Somehow seeing the man who had been horrible towards him always threw Ste back to those days when he used to be small and helpless. He had been on the edge after that, taking it on Amy and being horrible towards her.
Ste knew Brendan's temper. He had seen glimpses of Brendan's anger when someone had threatened Ste. Ste wasn't afraid of him, but he was afraid he might do something to Seamus while being angry which would lead into troubles.
Ste's was on the bus, staring out from the window without seeing anything, when his phone buzzed.
Home. You back soon?
Almost there x
When Ste let himself in to their apartment he found Brendan in the kitchen warming up the leftover lasagne for them. Ste dropped the bags on the table and slotted himself against Brendan's chest.
"How was it? Are you okay?"
"I'm good. It was sad to see them go, but they can come again, can't they?" Brendan held him lightly. "And it's good to have the place for ourselves again."
"Yeah?" Ste smiled at him. "We'll need to make the most of it after work."
"Mmh." Brendan gave him a squeeze. "Ready to get back to normal?"
"I am, yeah. And we can start have our nights off regularly now, when things are running smoothly in Baile."
"Things are looking pretty good, don't they." Brendan looked him in the way that said he meant so much more than just the club. Ste was determined to keep him this settled and happy in the future too, Seamus Brady being dammed.
He pressed himself closer to Brendan, nuzzled the hairs growing on his throat, breathed in the scent of him. How ever Brendan would react, what ever Seamus's presence might bring up, Ste wouldn't let it take this away from him.
::::::
Everything seemed to gone well in the club during the two nights Brendan and Steven were away. Brendan went over the paperwork, made few orders for more alcohol and checked the payroll was up the speed. He was just about done when there was a knock on the office door and Anne sailed in without waiting Brendan to call her in.
"Oh good, you're here! I wanted to talk to you about Riley's managers birthday party and the arrangement towards that. Do you think we could get in a band?"
"You're the bloody party organiser." Brendan leaned back on his chair and had a stretch. "As long as you arrange it and make sure we get more profit than lose money for it, you can get what ever you want."
"Don't get all excited about it." Anne smiled and sat on the edge of the table. "I meant do we have a license for it? Do we even need one? Oh I'm so confused with all these rules and regulations!"
"You wanted in, Anne, so you must learn, I'm not gonna do your job for you." Brendan opened one of the drawers and pulled out a black file. "Here's all the licenses we have, work them out yourself."
"Thank you, I will. Well then, how was it with the boys? Did you enjoy having tiny Brady's in the house?" She tilted her head and reminded Brendan of some small, cheerful bird.
"It was great, yeah. It was a short visit, but they got to see the new place and meet the kids, so when they come for a longer stay it won't be that weird anymore."
"I'm glad to hear. And few days off must have done you two good anyways, and I'm happy to inform everything was extremely well in here."
"I saw the log. Thanks for not changing this to any of those shiny nightclubs you like while we were away." Brendan had to admit that giving Anne a chance to work with them had been a good move. She was a fast learner and was already helping Brendan with admin stuff, and not just focusing on PR or what ever the fuck it was what she was doing. The advertising and her connections had lured in some high profile customers, which created more buzz on the regular people who came in hopes of spotting a celebrity while having a bite to eat.
"My pleasure." She looked very pleased at herself. "There's a nice amount of customers today, I bet Ste's very busy in the kitchen and there's many who have just come in for drinks."
"I was just about to get behind the bar while you came in." It kept Brendan busy and gave him the chance to keep an eye of the crowd in case there were any troubles. "I'll leave you with your homework."
"If I don't come out in an hour I have been killed by the paper work." Anne sighed as she started to flip through the papers. Brendan left her do her search and made his way to the bar area on their first floor.
What they had created wasn't as busy and noisy as a regular bar, but not as fancy sit on meals place either. They had two floors but the place still wasn't too big; Upstairs they had set of tables, which so far had been booked full almost every day, placed bit further from the bar desk and where people could sit down for bigger meals. Downstairs they had bit smaller, high tables with bar stools for those who just dropped in and wanted to sit down, and there was selection of fancy bar snacks on Steven's menu which were easy to eat while drinking and talking. Downstairs also had some space for people to maybe have a dance in later hours, where as upstairs was more suitable for those who wanted to sit down for meetups or just needed to chill. The music was toned down so people could actually hear what they were saying, but for the last few hours of the night the levels were risen up a bit to encourage people to get more drinks in. Brendan liked it, it wasn't like the nightclub hell's he had been working before, but something for those with more calmer taste which instantly left out the most noisiest customers.
He worked behind the bar for some time, talked with the casuals and served the drinks, and when it was time for his break he went to see Steven in his kitchen which was located on the upper floor just like their office was. He was busy making the dishes, but he magically pulled out a plate of food for Brendan to have and they chatted while he ate. Brendan loved watching Steven work, he moved so effortlessly and it all was like some strange dance when he moved around his little kingdom and created the foods for the customers. There was that familiar rush of want in Brendan's belly, and he could hardly wait for them to get back home.
They closed around midnight during the week and at two on Fridays and Saturdays to get few more hours worth of money from the drinks even when kitchen closed at midnight. It wasn't too bad once the last customers were out and the place was usually very fast to clear up so everyone could get home soon after. Brendan made sure the staff got off safely and then he and Steven had a quick drive home. Steven had some leftover snacks in a tinfoil.
"Here, you can warm these up if you are still hungry. I wanna take a quick bath before bed." He put the food on the counter and then took a hold of Brendan's shirt, and the kiss he gave him was long and sensual, sucking Brendan's tongue in a way that left him want more. When Steven pulled back he had a knowing look in his eyes. "See you upstairs."
Brendan tried to come up with some chores, but after he had emptied the dishwasher he had hard time focusing on anything else than the water sounds coming from the bathroom. He got upstairs and when he entered their bedroom he saw that Steven had already unmade the bed and left the red silk scarf and the lube on Brendan's pillow.
He got undressed and then he waited. When Steven finally came from the bathroom he was naked too, just wearing a towel on his waist. He hadn't washed his hair, but his skin was gleaming from the water and the oils he used in the bath. He stopped at the door and looked at Brendan, biting his lip, eyes dark.
"Come here, Steven."
Brendan could see the rise of his chest when he was breathing quickly as he slowly walked towards him. He stopped right in front of him, and Brendan slowly reached to untie the towel and let it drop on the floor. When he looked down he saw Steven was already getting hard, just like he was. Brendan leaned as close as he could without touching him, let his lips hover above his and he could feel Steven's desperation to get kissed.
"Get on the bed."
Most of the times he was the one to put Steven on positions, on his belly or all fours or on his back, but sometimes, like now, he let Steven to decide which way he wanted to be taken. Steven crawled on middle of the bed and then laid down on to his belly and crossed his arms behind his back. Brendan knelt next to him and slowly tied his wrists together. Once he was done he checked that the ties weren't too tight, and in the end it was about the illusion of Steven being trapped which made him excited, when he probably could have wiggled himself free if he tried enough. Brendan turned him over and could see him getting harder already just from being tied. His body was arching up nicely from the way his hands were trapped behind him, the angle revealing his ribs slightly and making him look even skinnier than he really was.
Brendan took hold of Steven's chin and tilted his face, and Steven was instantly eagerly opening his mouth when Brendan leaned closer. He didn't kiss him, but instead teased, licked Steven's lips and the tip of his tongue which came out to meet his. He slid his hand down to held Steven's throat and the keen noises started to escape from him, as his whole body was trembling already from the anticipation. Brendan grinned and finally crushed their mouths together. He slid his hand further down until he found Steven's nipple, and rubbed it roughly with his thumb while kissing him deep and hard.
When he pulled back Steven was panting and arching up from the bed, desperate for more. Brendan shifted downwards, licked his way down Steven's throat to his chest. He nuzzled the small patch of hair Steven had on there before taking hold of Steven's balls while he started to suck and bite his nipples. When he was sure he had left a marking on one he kissed his way to the other, all the while rubbing Steven's balls on his palm and stroking fingers down his perineum to his hole. Steven was moaning loudly, and Brendan pressed his groin against Steven's hip so he could feel how hard he was for him. Once Brendan was satisfied with the markings he had left on Steven's chest he started to inch his way down, kissing his belly but Steven seemed too desperate for long foreplay.
"Brendan, please, I need it now."
There were times when Brendan continued to torment him sweetly for ages before giving him what he wanted and despite his begging Steven loved it, but there was something in his voice now which indicated he truly needed to get fucked right now, hard. Brendan knelt up reaching for the lube, and Steven was watching him hungrily as he coated his dick with it. He stroked his lubed fingers across Steven's hole and then pushed straight in with two fingers, and after a few thrusts he slipped in the third one. Steven's head snapped back and he let out a gasping noise.
"Brendan."
He pulled his fingers out and twisted bottom half of Steven's body to sideways, pushing his thigh up to reveal his hole. Steven tried to crane his head up, wanting to see Brendan push in. He positioned himself against Steven's entrance and slowly started to fill him up. It was mesmerising, see himself slowly disappearing inside Steven's body and it felt impossible that he fit in there. Brendan remembered the first time he had fucked him and how worried he had been of hurting him but it felt like Steven was made for him – skinny as he was he had no troubles for have Brendan fully in him and if there was some pain he seemed to enjoy it. He was now gasping for air, his body relaxing around Brendan as he inched his way deeper to the tight squeeze. He held Steven's thigh to have the leverage and pushed in hard the remaining inches so he was fully inside. Steven's head fell back down and he let out a cry, and then he was full cries and screams when Brendan started to fuck him the way he wanted.
With this speed neither of them would last long, so Brendan made sure to hammer Steven's prostate with every push. His other hand was squeezing Steven's thigh and the other his waist so hard it would bruise and Steven's screams just spurred him on to go harder on him. It killed him to know he hadn't been Steven's first, that someone like Noah had had his hands on him before him, but seeing Steven like this, completely lost in his pleasures and greedily wanting what Brendan was giving him made it up. When Steven's whole body was shaking underneath him, tears running down his eyes and broken moans escaping from his mouth while Brendan rubbed his sweet spot Brendan knew no one else could make him feel like he did. Then Steven opened his eyes and looked at him as he was coming, his body squeezing in waves, forcing Brendan to empty himself inside him. He let go of his thigh and leaned forward, one hand lightly on Steven's throat and the other pressing on the mattress for support and kept on moving his hips. Steven's screams vibrated against his lips as he leaned their foreheads together for the few last push. Then he was kissing him, on and on until they both stopped shaking.
He cradled Steven's head in his hands. "I love you."
Steven didn't seem to be able to answer while he still struggled to get his breath back, but there was nothing than pure satisfaction on his face. Brendan gave him a one last kiss before slowly pulling out. He saw Steven flinch, so he took some wipes from the nightstand and slowly and carefully cleaned his bum, wiped himself clean and then released Steven's arms.
Steven cuddled up soon as Brendan had turned off the lights and was on his place, and it felt like he wanted to say something but changed his mind in the last minute.
"What?" Brendan asked. "Are you okay, Steven, what is it?" He needed to know was it something he had done what was troubling him, if he had been too rough after all.
"Nothing. It's just, I love you so much." Steven stroked his face and in the dim light of the room Brendan could see Steven looking at him. "You're everything to me, everything. Sometimes it scares me how much I need you, need you to be okay. And it scares me to thing something would happen to -"
"Steven." Brendan pulled him closer. "You know I feel the same, yeah? I'll promise you, nothing's gonna change that, okay?"
"Yeah." Steven kissed him, and then settled his head underneath Brendan's chin. Brendan listened Steven's breathing slowing down, and his steady puffs were so calming that he too dropped off soon after.
He woke up early the next day, full of energy like he always did after a good night fuck. Steven was still fast asleep when Brendan quietly got out from the bed and changed into his running gears, and when he came to get his phone from the nightstand Steven had already taken over his side of the bed. He stirred a bit when Brendan was so close, so he leaned down to kiss Steven's cheek quickly and softly.
"Going for a run. See you in a bit."
Steven was still more sleep than awake, and his waking up sighs and expressions were fascinating to watch. Brendan had to tore himself out from the room or otherwise he would have crawled back to bed so he could keep on looking at him.
The run around the park was just what he needed to get his pulse up and muscles warm. It was raining a bit, but he was used to it and Brendan's thoughts were on a nice hot shower and a cup of warm coffee, and maybe if Steven still wasn't up when he got back Brendan could have give him a blowjob before everything else. He might give him one regardless him being up.
Brendan was slowly jogging back towards home when his phone started to buzz in his pocket. He thought it might be Steven, asking him to pick up milk or something from the shops, but instead it was Cheryl's name he saw on the screen. He slowed down for a walk while answering.
"Hey sis, what's up?"
"Oh good, you're up, soon as I dialled I worried it's still too soon and you'd be in bed."
She was rambling which made Brendan nervous. "Everything okay? You had your doctors appointment yet?"
"No, it's later on the afternoon. It's not why I called. Where are you?"
"At the park, on my way home. Why? Chez, what is it?"
"Okay. Try not to freak out, okay? But it's... It's dad."
Brendan's throat went dry. "What about him?"
"He's here." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"Here?" Brendan repeated. "As in..."
"Staying with me." She said nothing in a long time and neither did Brendan. "Are you still there?"
"How long has he... Why? When?"
"Few days ago. Before the lads came in, that's why I didn't want you to come here because of... Oh, babe, I didn't want him to come, I swear!"
"Then why did he? Why would he come if you didn't invite him?" Brendan was aware he was shouting and forced his voice down. "I just don't get it Chez, why would he-"
"He called and I told him me and Nate got engaged, and then he just appeared out of nowhere! And I couldn't throw him out, he's me dad, Bren, I know he's been awful to you but I-"
"Okay, well, keep him away from me, yeah, don't let him know where I live." There was a long silence. "Chez? You haven't told him, have you?"
"I'm so sorry." She sounded like she was crying and Brendan felt tore, he wanted to comfort his little sister but he was also furious about that man being back and so close of him. "I didn't mean to. But he kept asking and he knows where you work now, and he wants us to come and visit Baile. And I don't know how to stop him! And maybe if it would be best if we could meet you in somewhere else, come to yours or -"
"No." Brendan spit the word out. "I don't want that man on my home or near Steven. Chez, I have told you what he was like, I can't believe your done this to me."
"Bren, love, I'm so sorry, but maybe it's different now when you're all grown up and you two could -"
"No." He repeated. "I gotta go now." He ended the call and resumed his walk. His thoughts were a mess, just hearing that Seamus was in the same town brought back all the memories, the shame, the guilt. He hardly paid any attention where he was going, but it seemed his heart knew the way anyway because he soon was standing in front of their house. Brendan tried to calm himself down. He didn't want to take this to Steven. The thought of him eased the storm inside Brendan's mind a little.
"Good timing, the coffee is just done!" Steven greeted him from the kitchen when Brendan let himself in. Soon as Brendan made his way in there Steven gave him with a quick brush of lips against his. "Morning. Brendan? You okay?"
Brendan had pushed past him, got a glass and filled it with water. He drank it all at one go, filled it again and drank half of it. He was aware he was shaking a bit.
"Cheryl called. She told that my... That Seamus is staying with her." He couldn't look at Steven but he could tell he was looking at him, still, careful.
"How does that make you feel?"
"How do you fucking think it makes me feel?" Brendan threw a quick glance towards him but had to look away because he couldn't stand the worry he was seeing in Steven's eyes. "I don't want him near me, ever, but it seems like my sweet sister has been blabbing her mouth and he now knows where I work and wants to come and visit."
Brendan heard Steven swallow and when he spoke his voice was quiet but steady. "It wasn't Cheryl. It was me."
"What?" Brendan had to look at him now. "You told – Steven, have you met him?"
"I run into them yesterday." Steven sounded calm but Brendan could see he was tense. "He kept asking who I was and how I knew you and Cheryl, and I didn't know what else to say so I said we are business partners. So he knows you work in town because of me."
"For fuck's sake, Steven!" Brendan couldn't believe this. "You of all people should know not to tell him anything!"
"I'm sorry, but he got me surprised. I had to tell him something, didn't I?"
"You should have lied then!" Brendan realised he was shouting from the way Steven flinched, but then he took a step closer to him.
"We can work this out together, yeah, how to deal with this -"
"I don't want to deal with this! I don't want that man near me but now he knows how to find me because you couldn't keep your mouth shut!"
There was a sound of glass breaking. Steven's eyes were wide saucers as he stood frozen, like he was too scared to move. Brendan looked down and there were pieces of glass everywhere around kitchen floor and his hand was empty.
He took a sharp breath and then it felt like his whole world was collapsing. "I'm sorry, Steven, I'm sorry." He couldn't look at him, see the disgust and fear in his eyes, but instead he crouched down and started to pick up the shards. "I'm sorry, I'll..."
"Here." Steven crouched next to him, opened the cupboard under the sink and got out the small dustpan which they kept there. "Mind your fingers." He started to brush the shards, carefully not to cut himself on the sharp edges.
Brendan still couldn't look at his face. "Steven, I'm sorry."
"I know." Steven quickly touched his knee. "Do you wanna get a shower? I'll get this cleaned and then we can talk."
"Okay." He rose up and edged his way out, careful not to spread the glass any further with his feet.
The water was cold at first when it hit his back, before it got warm and he turned it up so it was almost burning him. Smashing the glass had made him snap out from the anger and left him with shame for losing it. It scared him, how easily he seemed to become that person he had tried so hard not to be. Therapy had helped him to control his anger and deal with things that caused the problem in the first place, and meeting Steven had made him so glad he had got help. Somehow he couldn't see Steven falling for the mess he had been before. The thought of Steven being afraid of him, of him thinking Brendan wasn't the man he loved after all scared him more than anything else ever had.
After getting dressed he carefully made his way back down. Steven was in the kitchen, but the glass had all been cleared out. Brendan still wasn't able to look at him in the eye.
"Coffee's still hot if you want some." Steven talked like nothing had happened, but Brendan could sense certain carefulness on him. "I can bring you one, if you want to sit on the couch."
"Okay. Thank you." He went and did as Steven had suggested, and he soon followed carrying two mugs which he placed on the coffee table before sitting next to Brendan. Brendan had expected him to stay as far away from him as possible, but instead Steven was so close that their knees touched. They both reached for their coffees and after taking a sip Brendan put it back down. "I'm sorry I shouted at you. And that I broke the glass. I'm... I don't handle it well when it's about Seamus."
"It's okay. I get it." Again Steven briefly touched Brendan's knee and he was aware of Steven looking at him. "I wasn't scared, it's just, for a second it reminded me of my step-dad, how he used to get before he hit me."
"I would never hurt you, Steven, never." Of course Brendan's behaviour would bring back memories Steven tried to forget. Another rush of guilt washed over him and he forced himself to look Steven in the eye to show he meant it. "On my life, Steven, you don't have to be afraid of me."
"I wasn't." Steven reached his face and even when Brendan tried to pull away Steven didn't let him, but instead made him look at him. "I'm not afraid of you. And I am sorry that I told Seamus about the work. But listen, we need to figure out what we do now. I'll do what ever you want."
"You don't have to say sorry. He would have found it out sooner or later. It's... I just want to get rid of him."
"I know. I know." Steven pulled him closer and Brendan allowed himself to be held, just for moment before it all was too overwhelming and he had to pull back. There was still so much Steven didn't know and the thought of telling him was too scary. "Brendan, tell me what you need, is there something I can do?"
The amount of love in Steven's eyes was too much. Brendan got up. "I need to go out for a while."
"You just got in. Brendan -" Steven got up too.
"Listen, Steven, I need to, I need to get my thoughts in line, okay. I'm not mad at you, I just need to..." He made his way to the door. Steven followed him.
"Are you coming back?" Brendan hated the worry in his voice.
"Of course I will." He took hold of Steven's head and kissed his forehead. "I love you. So much."
"I love you too."
Brendan left before Steven had the chance to say anything else.
He didn't know where he was going, he just needed to walk. Before he realised he had made his way to Baile, and even when it was hours before opening time Brendan circled to the back door to let himself in.
To his surprise the alarm was off. Brendan quietly made his way upstairs and scared Anne who was sitting in one of the couches, piles of papers and files in front of her on the table.
"Jesus, Brendan, put a bell on your neck!" She took a steadying breath with a hand on her chest.
"What are you doing here this early?"
"Came to check some of these notifications which I forgot to do last night." She looked younger without her usual make-up and fancy dress. Her hair was on a bun and she was wearing a hoodie and jeans like any common mortal. "Why are you here?"
Brendan had sat next to her and flipped through a bunch of papers but Anne took them from him.
"Brendan? Is everything okay?"
"Mm, yeah, it's..." He took a breath. "No. My dad is in town. Staying with Cheryl."
"Seamus is here? Oh Brendan." She looked horrified. "What are you going to do?"
"There's not much I can do, is there? I can't go to my sisters and throw him out. Apparently he's interested of coming to see this place and can't really stop that either, unless I barren him."
"That could work." She gave him a smile and Brendan smiled back, just briefly. "Does Ste know?"
"Yeah he saw him and Cheryl in town yesterday."
"Does Seamus know about you two?"
"Don't think so. Steven hadn't said anything so unless Cheryl has blabbed then no, I think he has no idea." Brendan leaned against the backrest and rubbed his eyes. "I don't know what to do, Anne. I lost it earlier, when I heard he was here I got so angry and... I'm afraid what I might do."
"I assume Ste knows about what he's done to you?" Anne looked at him carefully. Brendan swallowed.
"He knows enough."
"Not about the..."
"No." His voice was catching on his throat and he cleared it. "No, not everything."
"Okay." Anne rested her hand on Brendan's knee. Brendan knew she was thinking what he had told her years ago, one night when he had been a drunken mess on her floor, pouring out his darkest secrets. He had expected to regret it the next day but instead after sobering up he had felt relieved that someone else knew. "I think you should tell him."
"I can't." Brendan shook his head. "If he starts to pity me or... If he doesn't look at me the same way anymore, I can't, Anne, I can't lose him. He's everything."
"It won't change his opinion about you, I know it won't. I have seen the way he looks at you. Brendan, he loves you so much." Anne tried to look at him. "It's your choice to make and you decide who knows, but I think he deserves to know. He deserves to know all of you, if you just let him."
She was right, Brendan knew that. He had never been this close to anyone as he was with Steven, yet there were so many things they didn't know about one another. They were about to get married, and he deserved to know the truth so he could decide was Brendan what he wanted after all.
"I'm scared." It was barely more than a whisper.
"I know. I'll be here for you, you can call me any time, okay? And if Seamus shows up here I'll be by your side then too, you don't have to face him alone. I'll hit him with my shoe or something if he tries anything."
Brendan smiled tiredly. "Thank you."
"That's what friends are for." She patted his knee. "Now, not that I don't enjoy your gloomy company while I try to work, but don't you think you should be with your gorgeous husband-to-be rather than sit here with me?"
"Have I mentioned how much I hate it when you're right all the time?" Brendan asked and she laughed. He leaned to kiss her cheek before getting up. "See you later."
There were still things in his head when he walked back home, but he felt a bit lighter and more grounded after his chat with Anne. If and when Seamus would show up in their club Anne would back him up, and Steven would too. Still Brendan felt cold inside when he thought about things he should say out loud to him, and how the love and need in his eyes would turn into pity.
He let himself in back to their house and it seemed like Steven had hardly moved while Brendan had been away, or he had come straight to the hall soon as he heard keys in the door. His eyes were wide and bit red like he had been crying, and Brendan could see how he tried to steady himself for his sake.
"You came back."
"Of course I did. I said I would never leave you, didn't I?" His words made Steven let out a deep breath of relief and then Brendan was on him, crushing him against his chest. Now was not the time to tell him anything, to burden him with anything more. Brendan just held him tight, when Steven clung on like he never wanted to let go.
::::::
They didn't much talk about Seamus during rest of the day. Only thing Ste asked was would Brendan want him to know he and Ste were together.
"I don't know, Steven. I'm not ashamed of us, but the less he knows about me the better. But if I have to meet him and he asks I – I don't know."
"It's alright. We'll see how it goes." Ste hated to see Brendan so unsure and somehow small, like he was a little child. He hated Seamus who had caused this.
Other than that they talked about other things, normal things. Ste made them something to eat before they had to leave to work and they had a little argument over washing the laundry. It was normal for them to bicker over things and then be kissing and smiling each other softly five seconds later. Only this time Brendan's kisses had something urgent in them, like he was trying to savour them. Ste could almost hear him crackling in the inside even when his outside was much calmer after his walk.
Ste was constantly expecting Seamus to burst through the Baile's doors during the night at work. He kept looking through the opening they had from the kitchen to the seating area, and he could see the same nervous expectation on Brendan every time he popped in to see him. Mondays were always a quieter nights, and Ste wasn't as busy as he would be towards end of the week so he had more time to talk for Brendan and try to keep his thoughts away from his dad. But Seamus didn't show up, and once the club was closed and cleaned up Ste could feel the sense of relief in Brendan.
That relief made Brendan jump on him soon as they got through their front door. Ste's pants were yanked down and he got a fast and hungry blowjob while half sitting half laying on the stairs, Brendan knelt on the floor between his legs. After Ste had come Brendan picked him up and carried him to the bedroom where they got rid of their clothes as fast as they could. Ste was ready again by the time Brendan had fingered the lube on him and he kept pushing back against him when Brendan had him from behind, his hands and mouth on Ste the whole time. He kept holding Ste tightly afterwards, and Ste hoped he had managed to ease Brendan's pain even a little.
The next day Brendan's nervousness was back. They had slept late and had a lunch out, and even when Brendan did his best to answer to Ste he was distant and clearly on edge the whole day. As much as Ste hated the idea of Brendan seeing Seamus, surely the eventual meeting up would be better than Brendan constantly waiting it to happen.
And as it turned out, they didn't have to wait any longer.
It was early hours still and the club had been open only for few hours when Ste happened to peek through the opening and saw Seamus climbing up the stairs to the second floor. Brendan was behind the upstairs bar with a bar maid and Ste could see how his whole body going rigid when he spotted his father. Ste thanked heavens that his sous-chef Michel was back at work today and that they weren't that busy, so he could instantly turn into him.
"Manage on your own for a while if I have my break now?" and rushed through the door to stand next to Brendan just as Seamus reached him.
"...where you have been hiding." Ste heard him say while giving Brendan very judgemental look. Then he spotted Ste and his whole expression changed, like he was the most pleasant man alive. "Ah, Steven, good to see you again." He extended his hand. Ste glanced Brendan and saw he was staring past Seamus's shoulder and clenching his jaw.
He barely touched Seamus's hand before pulling back again. "It's just Ste. Did you come with Cheryl?"
"No, it's just me. Told her I had business in town. She didn't want to come here, but I have rights to see my son, eh." Every time his eyes moved to Brendan there was something dark in them, but to Ste he was all smiles. "Can you believe she said he doesn't want to see me, what kind of son wouldn't want to meet his old man after all these years?"
"You've seen me, so you can go now." Brendan's voice was almost a growl. He was leaning on the counter with his hands and Steven could see him clenching his fists.
"Nice place you two have here." Seamus looked around like he hadn't heard him. "And the name, it's Irish, did Brendan come up with that?"
"We both did." Ste said. "We're partners, remember." He tried to edge closer to Brendan, not to make anything obvious but to make sure he could feel Ste was there for him. "Look, were both very busy right now so this is not the best time to -"
"I haven't seen my son in years and who knows when I'll see him next." For the first time there was an edge on his voice when he talked to Ste. "I don't know anything about him except that he left that wife of his, didn't you Brendan? Some other woman, was it, that's why you moved to England too? You must have your luck with the ladies with your Brady looks." He kept watching Brendan like predator watches it's prey, searching for signs of weakness. Brendan still hadn't looked him directly but Ste could see him take a deep breath in. Seamus seemed to realise he wouldn't get anything out of him so he turned back to Ste. "Come on Ste, spill the beans, you two must be close and you know all about his adventures."
"I do, yeah." Ste wasn't sure how long he could stay calm and he hoped the man would just leave. Then Seamus's gaze drifted to Brendan's hands on the counter.
"Is that a wedding ring? Who's the lucky lady?"
Ste looked Brendan, and their eyes met, just briefly, but long enough for Ste to get the approval from him. Ste cleared his throat and looked Seamus in the eye.
"I am."
"What?" Seamus frowned. Ste lifted his left hand to show the matching ring.
"I'm his fiance."
There were sound of people talking and music playing in the background but somehow it felt like everything had fallen silent. Brendan finally looked his father and poised himself, challenging him to say something about it. There was disbelief written all over on Seamus's face. He kept looking between Ste and Brendan. "Tell me this is a joke."
"It's not." Brendan stared at him. "I'm with Steven."
Seamus looked disgusted and he let out an ugly laugh. "So you are just a puff, like I always knew you were."
"I think you should leave now." Ste said. Their voices had risen up so everyone around them could hear them. People waiting their drinks were watching. The bar maid was looking at them like she was ready to call the bouncer from the door. Brendan was all rigid against Ste's side, and he was thankful that the bar desk was keeping him from smashing Seamus's head on the ground.
"Oh I will. To hear that my son is nothing more than a filthy queer, that's disgusting." Seamus spit the words. He threw one last look on both of them before turning around and disappearing down the stairs.
Brendan was breathing hard. Ste didn't take his eyes off him.
"Kelly, can you take care of the bar alone for a second?" He asked from the bar maid.
"Sure. Is everything okay, should I call someone to -"
"No. I think he went out by himself, there's no need to throw him out." Ste took hold of Brendan's sleeve and tugged him to follow him. He walked him to the office and made sure the door was close and locked. Brendan was pale and he was staring in the distance. Ste could see him starting to shake.
"Brendan." He took a step closer to hold him but then Brendan spun into life, turning so quickly he almost pushed Ste over as he started to hit the wall with his fist. "Brendan! Brendan, stop!" Ste forced himself between him and the wall, tried to take Brendan's hand but he stepped back.
"I can't, I can't." He was shaking his head and Ste had never seen him so lost and vulnerable. "Look what he does to me, I'm no good, it's all been for nothing, I'm still just a fuck up. I can't change." His voice broke down. "You should just leave me before it's you I hit instead of a wall."
"No, Brendan, look at me." Ste tried to embrace him but Brendan kept pushing him away. He didn't give up and Brendan finally stopped resisting. Ste took hold of his face and forced Brendan to look at him. "Look at me. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm not gonna give up on you." He kept his gaze until he saw the realisation in Brendan's eyes, that he wasn't alone in this. Then Ste's eyes moved to Brendan's left hand, which knuckles were all bloody and bruised. "You're hurt."
Then Brendan was holding him, almost lifting him up from the ground with his tight hug, so tight that Ste was hardly able to breath. Instead of asking him to ease his grip Ste threw his own arms around Brendan's shoulders and stroked his hair, while Brendan cried against his neck.