Gilbert unlocked the front door and stepped in slowly. Ludwig and Feli weren't on the couch watching TV like they usually were. The house was very quiet... Too quiet. His Awesomeness had to investigate.

The first place he checked was the kitchen. Luddy usually left a note on the door of the freezer when he went out, so Gilbert would see it when he raided the fridge. There was no note, but as long as he was here...

He'd barely gotten the door open when he heard a loud THUMP as something - or someone - slammed to the floor above him. Gilbert grinned. What could they possibly be doing up there?

His Awesomeness went once again to investigate.

He climbed the stairs slowly, straining his ears for some sort of noise. Surprisingly, they weren't in any of the bedrooms. Wherever they were, they must have been pretty impatient.

Gilbert stopped and scratched his head. Where were they?

Suddenly he got his answer, as he heard Feliciano squeal from the den at the end of the hall. "No, Ludwig! Please not there, that spot's super sensitive!"

Gilbert grinned widely, and followed the noise.

As he got closer to the door, he heard the sounds of some sort of... scuffle, and could make out more dialogue. "A-ah, Ludwig, no... P-please - stop!"

Gilbert stood there a moment, listening to Feliciano's breathless moaning and Ludwig's goading "Come on, Feli, give it back!"

Then there was another thump, and Gilbert decided it was time to take a peek. If only he had his cell phone... Prioritizing, he pushed the door open slowly.

They were on the floor. Ludwig was straddling Feliciano, alright, but they were both... clothed. Feliciano was writhing around, trying to escape from Ludwig without losing the Iron Cross clutched in his hand, his body wracking with silent laughter at the torment of Ludwig's merciless tickling. Gilbert watched as Feli suddenly flipped up, sending Ludwig to the floor with another thump and climbing on top of him, trying to tickle him back. The sounds of their laughter filled the room until the instant Gilbert cleared his throat.

Immediately all play ceased, and Feliciano collapsed onto Ludwig's chest in surprise. Both looked at him, Ludwig straining his head back for an up-side-down view, hair completely mussed. Feliciano was still panting. Both stared.

"Normally I wouldn't interrupt, but I wanted to make sure you're safe."

Ludwig frowned, and Feliciano looked plain confused.

"Let me know if you need anything - advice, condoms, lube..."

The effect was instantaneous. Both took on an identical bright red blush, glanced at each other for a split second, and abruptly looked in opposite directions. Ludwig, attempting to appear nonchalant (and failing), gently moved Feliciano off of him and rolled away. Feli sat up and ran his hands through his hair anxiously, as if hoping that if he pulled his curl behind his ear often enough it would finally stay down and out of sight.

Gilbert snickered and closed the door on them. He'd get a good laugh out of this at Matthew's. In the meantime he was pretty sure there'd been beer in the refrigerator...

Gilbert is Awesome. If it needed any more declaration, he is.

I loved writing this chapter. And the fact that they're not together made it all the more UST/awkward/amusing-ly.

Oh, Gilbert... XD