The forgotten love

Then what happened? I don't really know, I can't remember anything clearly except for that one scene in my life that nearly broke my heart. Heiji turned away from me in the airport without any hesitation. During these years, I had always been thinking, why aren't I brave enough? Why can't I ran up and grab him? Why can't I tell him how I felt during that last seconds? Perhaps I am a coward, otherwise I would have never lost Heiji.

Now, five years later, I still received nothing from Heiji. Nothing, not even a word. I don't know how I lived in these years, but I feel like an empty shell with no emotions and feelings. I live like everyone, I went to university and graduated, then I decided to gain a work in the police department, but in my life, I knew there is something that have always been missing, and that's my heart. I lost my heart to Heiji and I don't know how to find it back.

Heiji's parents had always disagreed with his decision to go oversea at the very beginning, but no matter what they said, he won't listen to them, he was very determined. He changed and I changed too, we all did after Kudou-kun's death, somehow, we knew that the happily ever after ending could not be possible.

So I let him go, I knew he couldn't be the old Heiji anymore, and maybe it would be more painful for either him or me if he stayed in Japan. Maybe that's how we lost contact, maybe in my heart I am scared to go and find him. I always believe that if I waited for him like Ran did for Kudo-kun, we could find our happiness again. But I guess I was wrong, I knew it after today.

Today was the day I planned for all these years. Heiji will return with success. Heiji now worked for the FBI, he wanted to join after his best friend's death and Ran's teacher, Judy also strongly recommended him to the organization, so he got in. After all these years he had worked hard in the FBI, and I knew why, he want to find the organization that killed his best friend and finish the job that Kudou-kun left behind. I want to help him, that's why I joined the police force. So today I planned to tell him about my feelings, how I felt all these years and that no matter what he do, he will always have me beside him and supporting him.

After I heard the news from Heiji's parents, I deliberately left my job behind and went to his house. As if I can't even wait for 10 min after all these years of waiting. As soon as I arrived at his house, I walked slowly toward his room, I want to gave him a surprise but a voice stopped me.

It was a female voice, it sounded really familiar.

"Will she come today?"

"I think so." I could also hear a male voice, it was Heiji's voice!

I couldn't wait anymore at that moment, I was desperate to see Heiji, and then I saw the scene that nearly made me fell

The women was Ran, and Heiji. They was hugging each other!!

"Ran, it's you! Long time no see! You must had heard the news too, that's why you came here right?' I tried to smile and I told myself to be calm, Ran must had come here only because she knew the news too and she want to celebrate with us. But no matter how hard I tried to persuade myself, my body was shaking, and I hold my hand tightly.

"Kazuhua., we…." Ran want to began but she was interrupt by Heiji

"Kauzhua, it's like what you saw, Ran and I…..we were married 3 years ago, and we had a child." Heiji said calmly, I know he don't want to hurt me. But how could you? How could say that you were married to someone else without any feelings?? And why do you betray me?? My best friend, and the only guy that I want to share my whole life with.

"Why?" I heard my heart broke, it was so painful. A million questions arised in my mind but who could answer them?

"There are no reasons, all I could say is that I loved her." Heiji looked at Ran, his eye looked so gentle and warm. At that moment I realised that Heiji no longer belongs to me, he belongs to another women and he would never love me.

"Then ……I …….hope that……….that…..you are happy." I couldn't speak properly, the tears were hindering me, after I said that I ran out from the room and toward into a region of darkness.

TBC