A series of surprisingly fortunate events
Chapter Two: The slow day from hell
Stiles is sitting in the café, watching Derek work and Scott text Allison like nothings different when in fact their lives just turned into a romantic comedy. And for once Stiles isn't the comic relief best friend. Of course, he's also not going to 'get the guy'. He doesn't even want to get the guy. It's still funny though. Like, ridiculously funny.
His life has a habit of doing that. Being funny. Luckily, Stiles is used to it and can actually laugh at it. So, being the completely sane guy he is, he proceeds to laugh.
Alone.
In a café full of people.
Not his best idea.
"Stiles, what the hell are you doing? Have a breakdown outside." Derek groans, cutting Stiles' laughter short because, yeah, it's kind of funny until you realize your romantic co-lead is a complete dick that is incapable of fun. Then you realize it's more like those indie films where they give a plot that you think will have a happy and romantic ending but instead it has a realistic, aggravating ending where everyone goes back to normal and they just grow a little more mature for the experience.
No one likes those movies.
Stiles hates those movies.
"Ugh, you are so not Sandra Bullock." He grumbles, looking back to his laptop as Derek lets out a bemused laugh.
"As if you have anything on Ryan Reynolds." Derek retaliates and Stiles gawks at him. Did Derek Hale actually get his movie reference? And joke back?
Could it be-? Could Derek secretly be a cool guy?
No. God no.
"Aside from the large family I am totally like him," Stiles says, smirking over at Derek, "Hot and funny with a heart of gold. Oh yeah. I am totally the Andrew Paxton to your Margaret Tate." He nods, more to himself than Derek because he knows the man isn't looking at him, "And you are totally going to fall in love with me. Try not to let it be awkward after this is all over."
Derek scoffs and looks up with a smirk from the coffee he's making for another, highly amused, customer, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Andrew fall for her first?"
Stiles gasps, as if appalled at the idea, but honestly he's just appalled he doesn't remember which fell first despite watching it countless times with Allison and Scott. He runs over to the counter, all limbs and flailing before hunching over it, "Just how many times have you seen this movie?"
"I live with two sisters. How many do you think?" Derek counters, handing the coffee to the customer with his token smile before turning to Stiles with a decidedly more sour expression. "Rather than discuss a movie, shouldn't we discuss the fact your father will be here in a few minutes? Does he know you are seeing a guy?"
"I was purposefully vague on gender." Stiles responds, still hunched over the counter and looking at Derek. He looks exhausted. Which may or may not be Stiles' fault, no one can say for sure. As he stares, he notices some stuff he's never paid much attention to before. Mainly Derek's facial hair. It's always at the same amount, every day. No more, no less.
"Do you purposefully trim your facial hair to that eternally-five o'clock-shadow? Or…?"
"Stiles you are the last person I want to talk about my face with." Derek groans, walking to the other end of the counter. Like that's going to make Stiles go away.
"Really now?" Stiles asks, following him easily, "We can talk about my face then. Like my moles. Moles are beauty marks, you know. So my face is literally covered in beauty." He says, watching the corners of Derek's lips turn up in a smile. Not a smirk, but a true smile. Amazing. "Oh yeah, everyone wants to get up on this."
Derek turns to face him again, giving him a once over, "Oh yeah, everyone wants a piece of the great Stiles Stilinski. For about the five seconds you can last without saying something stupid that distracts from any good looks you have."
Stiles deflates a little at that, because it's kind of true. Growing out his hair in his sophomore year got him more attention, more interest from others, but no one ever followed through. No dates, no flirting, no nothing. Maybe he's just too-
Wait.
"So you admit I'm attractive?" He asks, eyes wide and mouth open.
Derek looks at him, eyebrow raised, "That's what you take away from what I just said?"
"Yes. Yes it is." Stiles affirms, "The rude and emotionally constipated Derek Hale finds the perfection that is Stiles Stilinski attractive."
"The 'perfection' that is perpetually single." Derek mocks.
"Not anymore. I bagged me the big pile of muscles and asshole that is Derek Hale." Stiles grins.
"Be still my beating heart." Derek monotones, wiping down the counter.
"Um…Stiles…" Scott calls from his seat, staring out the window, "Hate to ruin…whateve this is, but your dad is here."
Stiles tenses up against the counter and Derek moves closer, resting his elbows on it as he watches the door with the teen. "Ohgodohgodohgod. Derek be cool."
"Alright."
"Don't do anything stupid."
"Same to you."
"Act like you like me."
He hears Derek sigh heavily beside him, "I'm trying, but the more you talk the harder it is."
"Shut up, you love me." Stiles says and Derek huffs out a laugh.
"Whatever you say."
Scott watches them, a smirk on his face that doesn't go unnoticed by Stiles. So much for a best friend. Asshole.
He can now see his dad through the window, making his breathing grow more panicked. He's got this. No, yeah, no, he totally has this. He's fine. Is the room getting smaller? Where the hell did the air go?
"Stiles." Derek calls, placing a hand on the panicking teen's arm. "Calm down."
Stiles takes a deep breath, "R-right…it'll be fine…" He groans, "Why couldn't Scott be single right now? That would be so much easier…"
"Why couldn't you be less awkward so you could just have someone?" Derek counters before the door opens, revealing his father.
"H-hey dad! Over here!" Stiles calls, wondering if maybe he could hold Derek's hand without him thinking it's weird. No wait, Stiles himself thinks it's weird. Never mind. Dropping that idea.
"Stiles!" Stilinski grins, waving at his son as he heads over. "How are classes?"
"Oh, you know, pretty good! When I'm not out all night with my boyfriend. Derek. Derek's my boyfriend." Stiles motions to the man behind the counter, surprising both Stilinski and Derek.
"Subtlety really isn't in your repertoire, is it?" Derek muses.
Stilinski looks over to Derek, then back at Stiles, than to Derek again. "Derek…Hale?"
"Sheriff Stilinski. It's been a while." Derek flashes him his trademark smile, "I'm sorry he never told you."
"Derek is twenty-four." His dad says slowly, looking to Stiles, "A bit out of your age-range, don't you think?"
"Um…" Stiles begins, turning to Derek, "Well…that's…"
"He's legal." Derek says, earning him an incredulous look from Stiles. Seriously? Does he try this hard to be awkward?
"I know…I just…" His dad sighs, "I wasn't expecting…this." He gestures toward Derek. "No offense."
"None taken." Derek shrugs.
Stiles turns to his dad and frowns, maybe he really shouldn't have chosen Derek. "Is this alright, dad? Me and…Derek?"
His dad looks between them for a moment and smiles at Stiles, "Do you really like Derek?"
"Yep, yeah, definitely." Stiles says awkwardly, "He's, like, the light of my life and whatnot." Derek rolls his eyes.
"Well you have talked about a Derek a lot…I never knew it was Hale, though." Stilinski sighs, "Could've been someone worse than a man who owns a café."
"A successful café." Stiles points out, earning a look from Derek and his dad.
"I swear my son isn't a gold digger." Stilinski pauses, "Well…probably."
"I take offense to that!" Stiles huffs as Scott gets up and comes over.
"Is no one going to point out how Stiles is dating his best friend's boss?" Scott asks, looking around, "No one else finds that odd?"
"He obviously didn't find it off when he asked me out." Derek points out and Stiles pales.
Wait what? They didn't agree to that. Okay, they didn't agree to anything on a back story, but they definitely didn't agree to that.
"Well, when do you get done? You can tell me all about my son's pushy ways over dinner." Stilinski offers and Stiles holds back a groan. Couldn't they just talk in the café? He doesn't want to have to pay for Derek's dinner, too.
"And you can tell me all the things your son says about me on the phone." Derek offers, and Stiles feels himself choke on air, earning a nice slap to his back from Scott.
"So where are we going to dinner?" Scott grins, "Unless you want the love birds alone."
Oh he did NOT just do that. Conniving son of a bitch.
"Oh my god," Stiles breathes out. He is so done with this day.
A/N: Friends are so nice.