Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its characters. They are copyright Eiichiro Oda.

Zoro tapped his foot impatiently on the stone floor as his cyborg nakama and the wrestling champion opponent began a posing contest. "Franky!" The swordsmen snarled. "Cut it out and let me handle this!"

Franky put his large arms together in his signature pose. "Alright, alright, don't get your katanas in a twist. I'll be here to back you up!"

"Just what I need." replied Zoro, turning to face Burgess. "Anyways, I'm your opponent," A devilish grin unfolded across Zoro's normally passive face. "I'll take you down."

A similar grin appeared underneath Burgess's mask. "We'll see about that!" Burgess rushed Zoro with such surprising speed that the green-haired man barely had enough time to raise his blades to block the assault.

Zoro breathed and shut his eyes, hands gripping along the familiar hilts of his swords. "Tatsu... MAKI!" Spinning on the stop, blades facing out, a tornado of energy sent Burgess flying backwards.

"Nitoryuu?" said Burgess, twisting himself so he pushed off the wall with tremendous momentum, blood leaking out from his chest

"Santoryuu." replied Zoro, placing his prized katana, Wado Ichimonji, between his teeth. "Even though you're not a swordsmen... I'll take you down anyways!" He raised Sandai Kitetsu and his newest weapon, Shuusui, up to his temples, pointing them outwards. "Ushi..." Zoro charged, stabbing and retracting his swords at blinding speeds. "BARI!"

CRASHCRASHCRASHCRASHCRASHCRASHCRASH!! The wall where Burgess was a mere second ago had several large gashes in it, each one several inches deep. Zoro turned, sweat dripping down his neck and back. "Damn... he's fast for a big guy." He spied the wrestler engaged in combat with Franky. "OI!"

"Don't worry, 'Marimo'," said Franky, his right hand's skin cover removed. "I can take of this!"

"It's not that!" shouted Zoro, dashing towards the fight. He lifted two swords over his head, in front of his right shoulder. "Now hold him steady!"

"Yosh! Franky..." Franky's torso extended, his legs splitting in half vertically. "Kentauros!"

Burgess stopped in mid-punch at the absurdity. "What the–?" Then he found himself pinned to the wall by the shipwright, who was laughing.

"Hurry, Zoro!"

"Got it! Now move! Ittouryuu... San-Juu-Roku..." Zoro swung with all his might releasing a single, twisting beam of energy. "Pound Hou!"

KA-BLAM! A large explosion of dust and debris filled the room. Zoro hoped that Franky had escaped in time. A loud cough behind him reassured his thoughts. "You got away just in time?"

"Yeah... but so did he."

Zoro turned to find Burgess standing on the far end of the room. "How the hell?"

Burgess laughed. "You almost got me that time... smart, teaming up... but that won't be enough!"

Usopp looked cautiously at Auger. "Y-you... y-you're a marksmen?!"

Auger nodded, the targeting reticle staring at the long-nosed lair in a creepy I-can-see-right-through-you kind of way. "Yes... I take it you are, as well?"

Usopp looked at the giant slingshot on his back, the Kabuto. "Y-yeah... w-what do you want from us, though?!"

Auger looked at Chopper, taken aback from the sight of a pink-hatted, blue-nosed reindeer in pants. He quickly regained his posture. "Our captain, Blackbeard, sent us–" He motioned to the very sick man draped over a pale-blue horse. "–To fight you."

Chopper gulped. "Y-you w-wanna fight?! We'll give you one! R-right, Usopp?!"

Usopp looked at his nakama, and saw the fire dancing in the little doctor's eyes. He remembered what they had encountered on Thriller Bark. They had faced zombies, ghosts, and a giant. They could handle this... right?

Sanji sighed smoke from his cigarette, feeling it settle in his lungs. "Brook, Robin-chan..." He announced to the historian and musician. "I'll take care of this guy... get up to the Poneglyph." Sanji lifted his head to look at Lafitte as the two rushed up to the pedestal. "If you're a gentleman, you'll let the lady pass."

The thin man nodded, tap shoes clicking on the stone. "Of course... that can't interfere with our fight."

Sanji tapped the ash off his cigarette and placed it back in his mouth, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Collier..." Sanji ran towards Lafitte at a steady pace, then leapt up, snapping his right leg out, targeting his opponent's neck. "Shoot!"

FWSH! Lafitte disappeared, leaving Sanji to settle back on the floor, reappearing behind him.

"..." Sanji paused, taking another drag. "I see." Quick as he could manage, Sanji flipped onto his hands, driving his heels into Lafitte's legs, but Lafitte managed to leap up.

"Have to do better than that." Lafitte said, grinning out from under his top hat.

"Selle!" Sanji did a semi-back flip, driving the top of his foot into his opponent's back, sending the thin man across the room into the wall with a SMASH! "Never tell a cook how to improve his cooking." The blonde said, starting to walk over to the wreckage. "Let's see... how much more preperation time do you need?"

To be continued...