Title (chapter): Gaijin in the Merger

Rating (chapter): T+ or M-. I don't know really…

Warning: This chapter is rated for its consistent profanity, sexual puns and references as well as a mini make-out session towards the end between male characters. Be prepared people because after the first five chapters, this will be gone. If you do not approve of and/or do not agree with relationships between same-sex partners, leave. It will only get worse after this chapter. And I don't need you boosting my review numbers with complaints.

Disclaimer: As always, the characters are credited to Masashi Kishimoto, but some of the things written here, such as Fuckin' A belong to authors on Fanfic. The two current ones referred to within the story is SoWrites and Rizember, so credit goes to them when appropriate.

Beta Status: This is a betaed copy and as such should be clear of all mistakes. If there are any mistakes, please PM me so I can fix that immediately. My current Beta is Dobe-14 so kudos go to her for dealing with these long chapters of mine.

Japanese

"Quotes"

'thoughts'

I honestly had no idea what was bothering me the most: the fact that Kiba had once again called me Namikaze-sama or the fact that for the upmost time since I could remember, my dad had ignored me in favor for something for his god-forsaken business!

"That fuckin' A (1)!"

Apparently, my mouth had an easier time coming up with a solution then my mind did. "You mean to tell me that he seriously lied to my mother and to me?"

Kiba looked sympathetic towards me, seemingly understanding that for obvious reasons, I had gone insane and decided to scream at my imaginary father.'That jackass.'

I was still undecided whether or not I was talking about my father or Kiba.

"Namikaze-sama, we must get downstairs now," Kiba ushered me out of the door, closing it swiftly behind me and striding evenly towards the elevator a few meters down the hallway. I noticed that there was only a few other doors in the long hallway that were possibly other rooms like mine. That or I just had a lot of walk-in closets.

"Wait!" I protested as he stood by the elevator door.

He turned back to me with a poorly concealed grin that clearly stated that he thought my situation was hilarious. "Yes, Namikaze-sama?"

I clenched my teeth but otherwise remained passive to his taunting voice, "Call me Naruto."

"Sorry, but I can't do that. Building policy and whatnot."

"Call me Naruto or I will complain that you were snooping through my personal items and even made a pass at me."

Kiba didn't seem to find that funny as the elevator door finally dinged before opening; he remained motionless as I walked into the elevator, waiting on him patiently. "Wait, I didn't even look at you long enough to begin to make a 'pass' at you! That's lying!"

I raised a single eyebrow at him, an obvious 'I-don't-care' look on my face. "And how is that my problem?"

Glaring at me, I couldn't help but laugh at him as he stomped into the elevator and pressed a symbol on one of the buttons that I hoped led to the lobby because there was no way of me being able to tell whether or not he was going to kidnap me and lock me in some closest for revenge. "Fine then. Naruto-sama, I wou-"

"Not sama. Just Naruto."

The brunette flinched and I couldn't help but let out a snort at his expense. "Alright, now that's just pushing it man! Even if you don't sprout some b.s. to my boss, I'll get fired the second any other staff member or guest hears me call you that!"

I shrugged, "I've spent my entire life with people sucking up to me, so I can't allow you to use honorifics even if I wanted you to. Just call me Naruto whenever we're alone."

Kiba seemed to think about that for a second before nodding hesitantly, following me out of the small area and rushing in front of me in order to open a set of doors. On the other side, I saw both my father and Deidara in impeccable suits- both tailored to their specific tastes- standing idly. Both of the suits were flawless and flaunted their status and I had seen similar suits on many occasions, but I still couldn't help but stare a little longer at Deidara. For once, his long blonde hair was brushed and tied back neatly, his features molded into a look of solemnity; at least, that was until he saw me and his face morphed into a shit-eating grin. "Naru-chan! You look so cute!"

Immediately, he ran for me and it was all I could do to not scream again as he tackled me (I already had exceeded the amount of shrieks allowed to a grown man in his lifetime [one when you're born and one when you win the lottery (2)]). However, Deidara did not seem fazed as he picked me up and swung me around twice, before dropping me back on the ground unceremoniously. Of course, by then, Kiba was hiding behind a column located in the main hall in order to laugh at me unhindered by the prying eyes of anyone else. "Deidara…" I growled out, fully intending on punching him so hard in the gut, he'd vomit up everything he had in the last year.

"That's enough you two," my father's reprimanding voice said, making me remember the only reason I had come out of my room in the first place, "We need to go if we want to make the meeting on time. They were never fond of lateness."

"No," I stated clearly, catching my dad by surprise (although he had done nothing in the last day to disserve the title!).

In hindsight, he should have expected that I wasn't going to willingly come on his little 'family-business-trip' and just play along, selling the lie to my unsuspecting mother. Knowing him, it would be some sort of publicity thing where family was important to his potential allies the reason he would drag me along- to win more favor. "Naruto, please not now," he seemed to warn me as he tugged at his suits' jacket, "Today is really important for your future and if we play our cards right, we can be to Fiji this time tomorrow."

I glared at him, unmoving. 'There is no way I'm going to cooperate with you if I don't get an explanation!'

He seemed to read the thought from my mind for he motioned again with his hand, "In the car, please. I'll answer all questions on the way."

I waited for a moment longer, searching his features for any hint that he was lying again, like on the plane. "Wait!" I protested, "You drugged me on the plane!"

My father flinched, which was more than enough of an explanation for me as Deidara started to laugh at me. "You mean you were drugged by your own father? That must suck, un!"

Immediately, I turned around, not wanting anything else to do with him for the rest of the day. "I'm going back to my room! Come on, Kiba!"

Being called upon, the brunette appeared from behind a large column, wiping tears from his eyes, trying to make a smile disappear as he bowed towards me and then walked back to the elevators. "Naruto, if you do this, you won't have to inherit the company."

I turned around, arching a single eyebrow in interest; my father was obviously frustrated with the way I had taken on his statement, but he continued nevertheless, "I'm trying to merge Namikaze Corp. with that of another engineering company. If they agree, the owner has two sons- both who are older than you and have experience of ten years between them in the business. If it is your choice, you can give them the head position of President and you won't have to even lift a finger, otherwise to settle disputes or rather to appear in press. You will have all the time you need to do… whatever it is you want."

I honestly didn't appreciate the way he made me out to be nothing more than a symbol- and the way he referred to my life's work was uncalled for! However, the prospect of me being allowed to chase my dreams and practically disown the company, was the best prospecting agreement that my father had ever proposed. "And all I have to do is help you get the deal?"

Minato nodded, his face tightened in displeasure. A grin instantly spread across my face and I couldn't help but hold out my hand in order to shake. "You have yourself a publicity son," I announced officially as he gripped my hand.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have stayed, and just let him make the deal by himself; after all, how bad could my room be- I mean it had a large flat screen HD TV! That was more than enough to keep me alive for a year when accompanied with room service from the capitol of ramen. All I would need besides that was a 360- a year's supply of first-person shoot 'em up games, a couple racing games and I would be set for life! (In reality, I would end up getting a 360 for the room and Gears of War 3, but I wasn't focused on that at the time.) I mean, the last decade of my life had been spent trying to get my father to keep me out of his god-forsaken business and here he was, offering me a solution as long as I played the part of his perfect son. So, I did the sensible thing.

I got into the car that had pulled up in front of the hotel, waved to Kiba, and set out to ignore Deidara during the entire ride to wherever it was we were going to. Admittedly, that idiot was only easy to ignore in theory, but I had no other issues with the ride over because my father ignored my existence and I ignored his. It was the best twenty-seven minutes we had spent alone since I was nine. Plus, the car was totally pimped out with gadgets and gizmos! I swore that the gods were smiling down upon me during the entire ride when Deidara stuck his head out of the sunroof twice and I actually managed to get him stuck in there during several minutes of bliss screaming. So, it was safe to say that by the time we pulled up to some large industrial building, I was ready to take on the pompous Japanese freaks that was my father's potential future allying company. "You jackass! I can't believe you just left me in that damn window! I could've been decapitated!" Deidara complained as he continued to rub his neck.

"I could only hope," I muttered as I stared up at the large building, 'Our headquarters is bigger.'

I wasn't too worried about him, anyway; if he had the energy to complain about dying, he was more than fine, especially when he was complaining to me, knowing full well that I only listened on a few rare occasions at which he either had a broken bone or a dislocated shoulder- neither of which was the current case. "You two go ahead," I said to them.

My father was obviously moping around, but you wouldn't be able to tell unless you lived with him your entire life and had disappointed him countless times. Which I have managed to do both on many occasions- mostly simultaneously. "I have to go to the bathroom," I informed them both, which was a lie.
However, my father seemed to be unaware of this as he waved me on and Deidara didn't care enough to call me out on my lie; and it's not like he could seriously stalk me into the bathroom and watch me piss. Even Deidara had his limitations.

So I made a beeline towards the bathroom, which I found nine minutes later thanks to the help of three different people- none of which could speak a word of English. You'd figure that it would be a requirement in a company that deals with mostly English-speaking clients, that the employees speak English. Instead, it was my weird potty dance that I had inherited from babysitting my way through college that was the thing that finally made the last woman understand me. Sadly, by then, I had actually needed to go to the bathroom, so it wasn't a lie anymore. Slamming through the bathroom door, I ran into a stall and froze in my steps, staring at the hole in the floor.

"Fuckin' A!" I growled out before turning around and slamming the stall door in frustration.

I continued to stare at the hole, having no idea how to actually go to the bathroom. It's not like I didn't have an idea on what I was supposed to do, but I had to go number one! How was I supposed to squat in that bloody thing? Turning around in circles, I ran my hands nervously through my hair, tugging at the blond spikes in hopes that it would create some spark of genius, unlike banging my head onto large solid objects. "Wait! Google!"

The one thing you learned when you were on a deadline to turn in a project and had no access to a textbook was Google could answer anything! It might not always be a hundred percent accurate, but it was better than nothing! So, after the third time of needing the lovely assistance of Google and my internet conveniently being at a library that was seventeen minutes away, I had gotten internet on my phone rather than an entire new computer. Clicking on my phone, I looked through the screen to find the search engine only to discover someone's ideas of comedy. I had no signal!

"You have got to be kidding me! This isn't funny anymore!"

'Someone is laughing at me! I can just tell!'

It wasn't like I had any issues with holding it, but only god knows how long I would be in the meeting and experience has shown me that they could last for up to seven straight hours. And I wasn't about to risk leaving in the middle of the meeting and insult the other guys- my childhood had taught me that Japanese take everything literally. Slamming my head on the back of the stall, I think about my current situation for a minute before a ray of hope sparks inspiration and I run out of the bathroom to the hallway, catching sight of a secretary. "Excuse me!" I called out, practically throwing myself at the desk, "Excuse me!"

The woman glanced up at me with a bored expression and I question whether or not she was related to Shikamaru before I struggle to remember all the Japanese I had tried to forget. "Umm... where is it?"

She looks confused before I hold up a hand, putting it to my ear like a phone, "Telephone. Telephone where is it?"

Her look of confusion morphed to one of frustration. "I don't understand!" she snapped.

Letting out a sigh of desperation and jumping to my other foot, "My name is Naruto and I'm American. Do you speak English?"

The woman nodded before switching to a highly accented English, "Can I help you?"

"Phone. Do you have a phone that I can use?"

She nodded before directing me towards a table right next to the desk that had a phone on it. "Thanks!" I say before picking up the phone and dialing a series of numbers.

Moving around insistently, I jumped up at the sound of the groggy hello on the other end of the phone. "Shikamaru, I have to take a piss and there's a hole in the floor!"

The line remains silent for a few seconds before I hear the familiar lazy tone, "Naruto? Aren't you in Fiji?"

"No! But that's a long story! I have to go to the bathroom and the toilet is a hole in the ground!"

"Where are you, in a third world country…?"

"No, I'm in Japan, but I have to pee!"

"You're in Japan?"

I flinched at the sudden tone that Shikamaru had taken through the phone; after all, we had known each other since we were both twelve years old and never once had I heard him sound like anything other than dead tired. You'd think he would be awake at one point in time through his life. Right now he was wide awake. "Shika!" I whined, "I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Where in Japan are you?"

"I don't know, Tokyo? I still have to-"

"We'll be there in a couple of hours! Don't do anything stupid Naruto!"

"What do you mean don't do anything stupid?" I protested, "I still have to go!"

"That means don't breath!"

At the dial tone, I all but slammed the phone down and headed back to the bathroom in a storm. If I were Bruce Banner, I'd already be a green mass of hulk terrorizing Japan like the return of Godzilla! Storming towards the bathroom (my necessity to actually use it long forgotten) I was envisioning myself trashing Japan - my temper flaring that high by now, but my incredible ignorance to my surroundings only succeeded in me running into someone, which led to me falling onto my victim. "Oh crap! Sorry, uh... sorry!"

I glanced up hesitantly after my poorly uttered apology, expecting some creepy middle-aged man, but instead, I see…

I'll tell you honestly that at that moment, I believed with every fiber of my being that there was a heaven and by some freak accident that was probably created by my own stupidity, I had been blessed to stumble onto an angel from that sanctuary. The man I had managed to find myself on had marble-like skin and jet black hair that framed his face perfectly and the depth of his obsidian eyes. The overall-effect when accompanied by the stunning suit that he was wearing left me speechless, which is saying something for me because I always have something to say. So, without anything better to do in the current situation, I opened my mouth in order to repeat my apology only for nothing to come out. 'Why is it the moment I need to say something, I'm at a loss for words? And he's like… hot!'

The man was staring back at me, as if he was still trying to realize that he was just all-but tackled (not like I wouldn't tackle him if it resulted in this position more often) by a random stranger who was still on him. Finally catching up with the situation, he arched a single eyebrow in a sinfully gorgeous (but mocking) fashion before he spoke in clipped Japanese. I didn't listen the first time he spoke, his voice so perfect that I found myself instantly drawn to him. And then, something clicked, or rather I finally started to listen to what it was he was saying long enough to translate it. "Are you hard of hearing or are you just as stupid as you look dobe?"

Admittedly, I was kinda slow in some situations, but it wasn't like I would take some random stranger calling me stupid- hot guy or not. "I'm not stupid, teme! Besides, I said sorry!"

He scoffed at my accented Japanese, already aware that I hadn't stayed up-to-date in the various dialects. "Do me a favor and get off of me before I have security throw you out!"

Standing up in one swift movement, I offered a hand to him, "I said sorry. You don't have to bite my head off."

"You need to learn basic etiquette before you even begin to learn to grovel around like a peasant. If your parents had taught you to watch where you were going in the first place, there would have been no need for your apology."

I was really beginning to dislike this guy already and although everyone said to not judge a book by its cover, I was at least hoping for some sort of modesty or at least a half serious sorry or something; I mean, the guy had the looks of a god! No, instead this guy was just a bag of insults and he kept them coming! "Are you seriously insulting my parents because I can totally take you down now, ice princess."

He froze for a moment, his brow furrowing in confusion as he tried to translate my English before he growled out between clenched teeth, "I doubt it's your parents fault! If they didn't have a retarded son, I'm sure they would be commended for their help!"

"Jerk!"

"Dobe!"

"Teme!"

"Usuratonkachi (3)!"

My fists clenched as I glared back into that smug smirk that was plastered on the man's face. I had dealt with dozens of criminals with all types of offences (from the usual theft to the more serious murder) and not once had I lost my cool, but not even two minutes with this guy and I'm already about to punch his lights out and then stomp on the bulbs for good effect. It's not like the world would end if his pretty little face was rearranged. Getting ready to throw the first punch, I'm frozen mid-swing when a voice ringed through the hall. "Naru-chaaaaaaaaaaaan! Where are youuuuuuu?"

Growling out between clenched teeth, I whipped around in time to see Deidara turn the corner at which he sees me and starts running towards me with his arms wide, "Naru-chan! Mommy missed you!"

I stepped aside when he made a dive for me at which he falls into the carpet. "What the heck are you doing?" I asked him as he rubbed the side of his face, turning to pout at me.

"Now what way is that referring to your mother? And after all the time I spent with your father looking for you!" he sniffled mockingly.

Instead I rolled my eyes and was interrupted from the kick I was going to direct at him by a snort from a very hot prick, "I was wrong. With parents like that, there's no wonder you turned out like this."

I turned around, a glare on my face once again and ready to wipe that smirk off the raven-haired man's face. "You know, just because your head was attacked by a mob of rabid ducks, doesn't mean you have to take it out on others!"

"Hn," he retorted, much to my irritation.

I would've thrown a punch too, if at that time, Deidara hadn't decided to grab me in a hug and pulled me away from the prick as he walked off down the hall as if he was better than me. "Now, now, Naru-chan. There's no need to get so touchy just because you were turned down. I'm sure there are a whole different population of blind women in Japan that have low standards, and no sense of smell…"

I elbowed him in the gut, successfully cutting him off and ready to continue on, but he was a good four feet out of reach by the time I was ready for another hit. "How did you get so far away?"

"Even the wisest of generals know when to retreat."

I wasn't above tackling him, but at that moment, something more important called for my attention. Right now, my father was waiting for my assistance in suckering some hotshot Japanese company into merging with him and with the merge, I would be out of the family business with no more than a slap on the wrist. "Let's go," I told Deidara, much to his displeasure.

Nevertheless, he led me down the hall and directed me towards a room that was bordered entirely by windows on the wall closest to me, allowing me a clear sight to the people inside. My father was at one end of the table with two other people who I recognized from his company when I had to visit him on many occasions growing up (because he was only home long enough to sleep). At first, I was very surprised by the four people that sat on the other side of the table opposite him. Two of them had similar looks with a flawless milky tone of skin with dark hair and matching black eyes. The other two looked nothing like each other or the other members. One had light brown eyes with violet hair (a woman) and the other had familiar grey hair with a facemask on…

The second I entered into the room, I was grinning at the man. "Kakashi-sensei!"

At the sound of his name, he glanced up, the slanting of his eyes giving away his smile as he stood, "Naruto-kun. I haven't seen you since you were in diapers!"

I pouted playfully as he grabbed me in a hug, "I moved when I was eleven. The only reason you didn't see me is because you're too lazy to wake up before noon! How on earth did they get you in a suit?"

Kakashi scratched the back of his head with his eyes slanting closed and his facemask tilting up, "Some old friends called in a couple favors and after some blackmail, I was hired by this insanely huge conglomerate and asked to work out some little kinks with the training of a little duckling."

My grin couldn't have gotten much bigger as I laughed at his perfect English, "You were always the only man I could never figure out. You would've sworn that you grew up in another world."

He laughed again before shrugging off my attempt at a compliment and then motioned to a chair, "I can't believe you've grown up so much. It seemed just like yesterday you were just a squirt fighting with the littlest Uchiha. Those were fond memories."

I rolled my eyes at him, "You mean Sasuke?"

"So you remember him?"

I held up a hand in surrender at the evil look in his eyes, "All I remember is more days than not when I was learning from you,I went home covered in band aids."

Kakashi chuckled to himself, "That is true, but what can you expect? Tackling him and trying to tickle the youngest Uchiha is bound to rebound with some series hair pulling. You two were so cute rolling around on the floor and your little competitions that you two had, practically made you teach yourselves."

"Lazy bugger," I muttered under my teeth.

"Naruto."

I turned to my father, my smile already gone when he motioned his head in order for me to come over. I was a little hesitant to leave Kakashi and my trip down memory lane, but my dad could be incredibly obstinate about getting his way, so I didn't so much as sigh loudly as I stood up and bowed to Kakashi before returning to my father's side. He gave me a warning look that clearly stated he wasn't impressed with the way I handled the sudden appearance of an old friend, especially one that had 'betrayed' him.

Kakashi Hatake had been one of the first interns in Minato's business and was the only one out of the three to remain loyal to him when he separated from Uchiha Inc. However, when Minato made the big decision to transfer the company to America, Kakashi was the first one to immediately resign. Not even a week later, he had signed up with Uchiha Inc- 'The Ultimate Betrayal' in my father's eyes. I hadn't seen the man since we moved to America, but I believed that he had always tried to stay in contact; my father was good for pushing people away unintentionally, so it would be a breeze for him to push Kakashi away deliberately. "You make me seem uninteresting," Deidara complained softly as I sat next to him.

I couldn't understand- no matter how much I tried- what was the purpose for my father to let Deidara to accompany us during this meeting; it's not like the naïve blonde had anything to offer in sophistication or in wisdom. The blonde was just a little smarter than others his age and happened to become friends with me (for a reason I still cannot comprehend) when I had moved to the U.S. As far as I was concerned, he was more childish than I ever was and had more sadistic tendencies than Satan himself! The guy was a complete lunatic and the brawls he often got involved in were always his fault. Always. "You are uninteresting," I said back to him.

He smiled softly before turning away, "That's what you think, un."

"Not meaning to be rude," my father announced as he came to a stand, directing his attention towards the pale raven-haired men, "But this meeting was scheduled to start ten minutes ago. Why are we still waiting?"

"I assure you there is no offense meant to Namikaze Corp for this delay, but I would like to point out that your son has only recently been located and arriving to the meeting. Therefore, you should be in no place to remark about the tardiness of a one of our members, especially when he will be a future partner if we decide to accept your offer."

I was spell-bound as the youngest of the raven-haired men spoke; he was handsome, but in a cold way. His voice had silenced all conversation completely and left the large office feeling small and desolate. "Itachi-sama," Deidara scoffed, a taunting smile on his face, "Are you really suggesting that it is Naruto's fault that your brother is incapable of maneuvering his own company's halls in order to come to a meeting on time?"

I stared at Deidara incredulously. 'Is he asking for a death wish or something?'

I might've had a tongue on me when someone was picking a fight with me for no reason, but I wasn't ready to die in order to tell that guy off! I mean, his eyes could melt the skin off of your face if you got on his bad side, I was sure of it! And the older guy next to him looked like one of the old guys you would see on old Yakuza films. The boss that would watch unblinking as his goons tore your arms out of your sockets before soaking you in gasoline and setting you on fire; the way his eyes measured me, left me feeling like I had done something gravely wrong against him- except for practically insulting his hospitality when I was late. But in my defense, one of his guys was late too! Just when I was about to make some pathetic excuse to leave, (like I was about to vomit or something) the door opened and a man walked in, bowing lowly to the Uchiha side of the table. "Forgive me father for my absence. I ran into an illiterate foreigner in the lobby."

I scoffed at the holier-than-thou tone of the man as the eldest man acknowledged him, "Let's not make excuses, Sasuke. Come and sit, this meeting shall commence now."

I turned my gaze back to Deidara who was staring fixedly at Itachi- the one who scared me shitless- with a gaze that suggested all too much to be the entirely platonic relationship of two people who had just met. 'There's a history there…'

Making a note to ask him about his relationship with the guy later, I sat straight in my seat, prepared entirely to take on the roll of the perfect son when I locked eyes with the youngest member across the table. Have you ever had an idea that you knew was stupid and regretted even as you were doing it, but couldn't manage to stop? That's what it was like when I stood from my chair and pointed at a wide-eyed Uchiha. "You're the duckbutt guy from the lobby!"

He remained seated, but fixed me with a glare that could probably freeze hell over and would've stopped me in my tracks if I wasn't to obstinate to care. "Hn, dobe," he grunted as if that would dismiss me.

"Excuse me for not understanding bastard-nese, teme!"

He stood then, much to my amusement before slamming his hands on the table, "Why don't you go back to whatever third world country your mommy found you in."

"Why don't you go back to the hell hole Satan dragged you out of!"

"Oh look, the monkey learned a new word."

"Pompous prick!"

"Illiterate buffoon!"

I snorted, a death glare present on my face, "Who says buffoon anymore you ignoramus jack wagon?"

"What the fuck is a jack wagon?"

"Wouldn't you like to know!"

"ENOUGH!"

I kept my steady gaze on Agent Duckbutt (4); however, I wasn't stupid enough to say something after the eldest man- and obviously the head- had made a clear statement that he wanted us to stop. So, I remained quiet as he stood calmly and directed a bone-chilling gaze at Sasuke and then me. "I don't know what may have possessed you both to go so far as to disgrace yourselves in front of us, but I know that you were taught better Sasuke! And Naruto," his gaze leveled on me with such scrutiny that I got more pissed off, knowing full well that he thought I wasn't worth any time of day, "You may have been brought up as a foreigner, but that does not support you acting barbaric in my presence and in my office!"

I gritted my teeth, well aware that picking a fight with the oldest Uchiha wouldn't do anything to help me. So, sucking up the pure hatred that immediately spawned for this family, I bowed lowly to him, expressing my regret. "You have seen my disgraceful side and for that, I ask your forgiveness. I hope that my misfortune with your son and my rude commentary does not affect your overall decision to my father's proposition."

I remained in my bow until another voice called over the silence, the voice of Itachi Uchiha. "We will take your apology into consideration. Concerning your attitude towards my younger brother, it shall be dismissed entirely considering some of his comments were uncalled for as well."

Waiting for him to finish, I rose from my bow and took a seat, keeping a soft smile of thanks on my face in order to hide the inner turmoil of my mind. "Very well," my father said as he folded his hands on the table neatly, "How about we commence this meeting rather than waste any more of your valuable time?"

The eldest man on the opposite side nodded again before rising, "I am Fugaku Uchiha, CEO of Uchiha Inc, these are my two sons- Itachi Uchiha and Sasuke Uchiha- who currently share the Vice President title. These are my most trusted co-workers Anko Mitarashi who works as my secretary and Kakashi Hatake who is the current president."

I noticed that my father's form tensed, something that would go unnoticed if I wasn't usually the cause of his restlessness; apparently, the betrayal of Kakashi-sensei was still too fresh for him. When Fugaku sat down, my father rose and motioned to each person in turn. "I am Minato Namikaze the CEO and current president of Namikaze Corporations. This is my son- Naruto Namikaze the current Vice President; my co-workers Mei Takaki and Katsuro Won (5)."

'Oh. That's what their names were…'

Fugaku seemed to be curious about the reason behind Deidara's presence (which I personally was wondering about myself) but dismissed it with a momentary glance and nodded to Itachi. At his father's approval, he rose from his seat, fixing a chilling gaze on our end of the table, "Since both of our teams are already aware of what is your purpose here, let us get straight to the point: what is it that Namikaze Corp. can offer to our company? What will we have to gain if we decide to go forward with such a proposition."

My father spoke clearly, "My business holds the most worth in the United States for the past decade and is currently the most successful energy company to date and has deals and influence in partners that Uchiha Inc. has had issues within the past."

I let out an inaudible sigh, already seeing that this probably wouldn't end well for my father; the Uchiha's seemed to take his suggestion that Namikaze Corp. was better than Uchiha Inc. really personally, and although that may be statistically true, no one liked to be insulted on their own turf. Already were the Uchiha's become tense across the table and that Anko woman looked like she would jump across the table and strangle my father. Kakashi-sensei, however seemed just as bored as ever and I knew well enough that under the table, just out of sight, would be his infamous perverted books. Even when I was little, he had always had his nose shoved into one of those stupid books; once, somehow me and Sasuke had gotten a hold to one and read it. My mother was murderous when she found us reading it and refused to let Kakashi near us for a month…

A soft- and true- smile worked its way on my face as I glanced across the table to the youngest Uchiha. Sure he was a spoiled ice princess with a ten foot pole shoved up his ass, but he was still hot and that was more than enough to get my attention. However, what kept my attention was the fact that we had a history together. At the realization of my words, I flushed in embarrassment. 'It's not like I meant it like that! I mean we knew each other when we were kids! Not like that type of history!'

From across the table, said raven was staring at me, a single eyebrow raised in inquiry at me. I smirked softly at him, finding myself curious if he remembered me as much as I remembered him. At the sight of my smile, he scoffed and turned away. 'Fuckin' A!'

"Are you trying to suggest that this is our fault?"

At the sound of the warning tone in Itachi's voice, I immediately tuned back into the conversation; apparently my father wasn't doing too well, as I predicted. Taking the initiative, I came to a quick stand and silenced my father with a firm and unwavering voice, "I assure you, Uchiha-sama that my father meant not what he implied. Uchiha Incorporation is a remarkable conglomerate that has paved the way for business such as ours and due to that, they are respected. We merely suggest that you have much to gain from this merging as we do."

Itachi arched a single eyebrow, indicating for me to continue. "The wall street crisis of 2001 that practically destroyed the United States economy was aided by Namikaze Corp. when we were still new to the soil and as thus, we have great connections with the United States and its allies. This includes most EU and Russia, both of which you have been trying to create relations with since the early nineteen eighties."

No one interrupted me and Fugaku seemed to have calmed down at the proposal of having good ties with Russia, so I continued, watching their forms closely for any sign of irritation. "Russia has been currently constructing on a pipeline that will deliver natural resources clear to the Kamchatka peninsula, which is close to Northern Hokkaido. If you merge with us, you will have access to this large resource and have the abilities to make a new branch in Northern Hokkaido with a direct route to the South-eastern Asian archipelagos. And don't you have big business with Indonesia and Malaysia?"

By now, a smile was on Itachi's face, but with Japanese businessmen, you could never tell whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, so I continued cautiously, making sure to not ask any more questions. "Overall, the merger will leave us as the largest electronics company of all time and as such, a multinational company that has the resources and the ability to benefit both of our countries in the long run. With us joining, our products which have already set the bar for the best technological and engineering products to date, will surpass even Apple and will skyrocket our stocks. Rather than this, we are even willing to negotiate the full effect that the merger will have on your employees. Naturally, you wouldn't want to fire some people and have them turn against you, so I assure you that this merger will not need you to move the company, let-off any of your long-term employees, or call for you to pay for expenses out of your own pocket."

By now, Sasuke was staring at me with a guarded look, but Fugaku had a smirk on his normally passive face and something told me that this was a feat for the older Uchiha. Having nothing left to say, I sat down and Mei smiled at me from her seat to the right of me. Fugaku nodded for a moment, "Will the rest of you leave Minato and I to talk over the final decision?"

I felt the obvious tension in my father as one by one, each person in the room stood and filed out of the room. I was the last one to go, Deidara right in front of me and as I let the door shut behind me, I heard Fugaku speak, "That's some son you have there, Minato."

As we all filed into the lobby, I couldn't help but feel uneasy about what was going on in the room; after all, Fugaku had mentioned me, so of course I had been led to assume that they were talking about me. I mean, didn't the two guys have something more important to talk about then me because I really needed them to agree on this merger! "Hn, dobe."

My anger instantly flashed at the tell-tale signs of Sasuke Uchiha; turning toward the pompous bastard himself, I catch his disappearing smirk and calm down, knowing well that he was trying to get a reaction out of me for entertainment purposes. "Did someone seriously shove the Tokyo Tower (6) up your ass or is this just you trying to tell me you really have to go to the bathroom?"

He frowned at my insult, obviously the most lacking in his fluent English of the co-workers who were talking to Mei and Katsuro calmly in the language. Deidara was oddly enough talking to Itachi with a small smile on his face, leaning toward the elder raven from his perch on the wall. If you squinted, you could tell that Itachi's lips were slightly upturned when referring to the blonde, something that only made me more curious about their relationship. "You know, dobe, I'm really getting irritated with your insults," Sasuke growled at me, stepping predatorily closer.

I held my ground, not impressed by his threat after growing up with Deidara's violent tendencies, "Don't get mad at me because your English is just as good as a newborn."

"And your Japanese is as good as a twelve year old!" he snapped back.

I was going to answer that I hadn't needed to speak Japanese since I was eleven, so that might've been the cause for it, but something in his eyes caught my attention. As I stared into his eyes, I could swear they were red and had comma like symbols swirling around the pupil. The world stopped as I continued to stare into those eyes and I backed away slightly, reflexive terror gripping my lungs and rejecting my necessity to breathe. His mouth moved to speak, but I was deaf to his words as those eyes surrounded me in a black void that was all too familiar. I could feel old wounds aching and the six whisker-like scars on my face began to burn with the premonition of the one that wielded the blade that carved them. "Naruto, you look pale, un."

Immediately I was pulled out of the darkness and confronted by a familiar sight. "Deidara…" I croaked out as he grabbed my shoulder reassuringly and steered me away from the confused Sasuke.

"I know, otouto (7). I know…"

He herded me towards another part of the lobby, turning the corner; not even a moment later, my legs failed me and violent shakes and shudders attacked my body, making me stumble. Deidara was there with supporting arms, holding me up and helping me towards a nearby bench. It kinda made me question his motives; I've known Deidara most of my life and never had he been supportive or comforting… that was the definition of a bra and frankly, I had lived my entire life without one! So the very fact that he was muttering kind and (dare I say it) sweet words to me was a little overwhelming to me. "What are you…?" I started to ask before he shook his head.

"Complain about this later. But now, tell me how do you feel?"

I stared at him incredulously for a moment before making a mental check over the rest of my body. Most of the shakes had gone except from the odd tremor in small portions and there was no pain at all. My scars on my face didn't burn at all anymore, so I figured that something else was going on. "I feel fine right now, but a couple of minutes ago…"

"Yes. You will feel odd sensations during the next few days. Hopefully by the time that we return home, it will be nothing more than a bad memory…. Again."

I almost didn't hear the last word he added on but when I was about to inquire, he jumped up from the seat, turning around nervously. "Can't you give me a moment's peace?"

"And what makes you think I trust you alone anywhere near an innocent boy?"

Peering from around Deidara, I see the trademark Uchiha smirk on Itachi's face as he stared at me. "It's not that I care, but you've seemed to give my brother quite a start."

'Who says 'gave my brother quite a start' anymore? It sounds like someone who would say 'would you like a spot of tea' or something of the sort."
Itachi was staring at me as if he had asked a question after I stopped listening, though that probably was the case. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Itachi's smirk didn't falter as he turned his attention to Deidara, "I assume he's fine. Shall we?"

Nodding, Deidara followed him and I was left alone on the bench. 'Traitor…'

I remained on the bench not because I couldn't get up, but due to the fact that I didn't want to. Each time that I remembered those eyes, it was like so much came rushing over me immediately and I was left powerless. "Are you just going to stay here forever dobe?"

I was almost hesitant to look up at Sasuke, but of course when I did, his eyes were back to normal and I was glad to see that snobbish smirk; so much that I in fact returned that smirk with an Uzumaki signature grin. "You have no idea how happy that stupid smirk of yours just made me," I laughed as his smirk turned into a soft smile and he sat down next to me.

"Don't get too happy. Soon, you'll be sick of it and then what would you do?"

I couldn't help the chuckle as I pushed playfully against him as he sat next to me; he pushed back against me, a genuine smile on his face. "I don't know what I'll do; probably get over it," I said.

That moment seemed too good for words; it was perfect. There was nothing new needed to add to it to make this instant any better. It was as if we had known each other our entire lives and it was just another day in our uneventful lives. Like we had grown up together.

"Hey, dobe…"

I glanced up at him and froze; our faces weren't even an inch away from each other, his breath washing over me. I couldn't move from that prying gaze and due to the proximity between us, I could see clearly that his eyes weren't black but a cavernous grey that was so profound and varying that I couldn't help but find myself edging closer for that much better of a look. However, soon I found our lips grazing against each other and I froze once again, hesitant to cross that line. My thoughts quickly raced ahead of me, eager to burn that bridge and press forward against the small breath of air that separated us, but thankfully, my body remained motionless as the time slipped begrudgingly past us. Sasuke, however, was enraptured by something on my presence for his eyes seemed to trace it repetitively, as if he were memorizing something. Reaching up slowly, the youngest Uchiha's hand traced across the surface of my cheek softly, creating a burning sensation in its wake-, a sensation that I knew would quickly turn into a blush. Before I had the common sense to pull away from him, Sasuke leaned forward and closed the small space in between our lips. No corny pun intended, but I was kind of expecting something…. Big…? You know… fireworks… mushy music…. A bunch of baby angels flying around our heads singing Taylor Swift or something! 'No! I get jack shit! And it's not even that muc- fuckin' A?'

During my ridiculous ramblings, Sasuke had quickly gotten over waiting for me to respond and had bitten my bottom lip, catching me by surprise. I pulled back to complain, but he followed me, obviously unwilling to end the kiss. As soon as I was about to punch the Uchiha upside his head for destroying my personal bubble, he traced his tongue along the curve of my lips, causing me to freeze once again. I remained motionless as he pulled away, licking his lips experimentally, something that sent a blush up my cheeks faster than Deidara in a suit had. I was surprised that he would be that bold about it- or even allow me to think that he was that presumptuous- but he didn't seem to care as he leaned forward and connected our lips again for a few more seconds and this time, I edged closer to him tentatively. I mean, there was no harm in testing the waters, were there? After all, he was the one who kissed me first. Thankfully, Sasuke reacted well to my change of heart, reaching out with a hand to wrap around my waist possessively, and even going as far as pulling me forward so he could mold our bodies together. You might be wondering what happened to yours truly in all of this, I suppose? Well, I was off in la la land somewhere; one thing I quickly learned about the youngest Uchiha was he could kiss like a fucking god! As soon as I was stupid enough to open my mouth, his tongue was roaming around like he owned the fucking place! But… it was so hot. He moved forward in order to press our bodies closer together, surprising me by the contact, but it didn't mean that I was going to pass up a willing partner; after all, it was hard to find gays my age at Yale when you were ten years younger than all of the students. I pressed against him, far from new to the contact and he was more than willing to help me as he pulled me onto his lap, never breaking the kiss that had started to get hotter than I had initially intended. "Naruto, your father's on his way, un," a voice sang behind us.

I jumped at the voice, turning to glare at Deidara, "You have fucking brilliant timing, you know that!"

He just tilted his head at me, smiling all the while. 'He's an idiot,' I concluded, before his words finally clicked in my head; I was off of Sasuke in an instant much to my own displeasure, but the raven was fine with the change of scenery, straitening his suit. Staring at his softly flushed cheeks, I licked my lips, savoring the taste of him that was almost too good to be true. 'And it wouldn't hurt to check one more time…' I thought as I leaned down and brought my lips to his once again, running my tongue against his bottom lip and capturing it with my teeth as he had done. He moaned softly at the action, sending heat rushing down to the one place it didn't need to be at that moment, so before I was stupid enough to act on my feelings, I pulled back. The gaze he directed at me was almost my undoing, but thankful Deidara was always there to ruin the mood, "If you two are done sucking each other's faces off, we should get back to the main area before we miss something important."

I hesitated a moment more before turning and straitening my suit as I passed Deidara, a knowing smile on his face as he reached forward and straightened my tie, looking over me in affirmation, "Alright, Naru-chan. You're ready to be rid of the family business?"

I rolled my eyes at him as he led me back to the others. Mei was talking to Kakashi, a soft frown on her face when she spotted me and immediately walked over. "Naruto, please tell me how to turn it off."

I laughed, "Just tell him you know the plot end to his book and he'll run the other way."

Mei nodded tensely as my father approached with Fugaku close behind him. Minato, for the most part,seemed a little worried as he threw anxious glances my way. "We have come to a decision," Fugaku announced to everyone.

No one even bothered to look resigned as we all stood and faced the CEO's of the two most influential technology companies in the world. "We have decided to go forth with the preparations for merging and as such, we will have our company lawyers look over the contracts together. When they present the finished document to me, I will sign it with the utmost confidence."

At that Katsuro stepped forward and bowed, "I am Minato-shachou's (8) lawyer in the merger."

Fugaku raised a questioning eyebrow, but it was Itachi who questioned him, "I'm sorry, Minato-sama, but there seems to be a mistake. In these type of transactions, it is customary for both parties to have Japanese lawyers and I assume, if your last name is any indication, that you are Korean."

Katsuro glanced at Minato before nodding to Itachi, "My major nationality is Korean, but I was raised by Japanese parents."

"In Japan?" Itachi inquired.

"No. In New York."

Itachi nodded, "Well then, that means you would not apply. We need a lawyer who was born and raised in Japan for at least ten years for us to even begin to consider him as a Japanese lawyer. And they must've attended a Japanese university at one point in time."

"I'm sure that we can find someone later on, but for now, wouldn't it suffice for Katsuro to work with your lawyer?" Minato pressed.

'This isn't looking too good.'

"My son is right," Fugaku stated, "It is tradition and if you want us to sign that merging contract, you will have a Japanese lawyer that fits the description that Itachi has given."

"Naruto is a lawyer."

I whipped around and was all about to strangle Deidara when Sasuke talked over the soft murmurs, "He didn't go to a Japanese University."

'That's my teme!' I cheered inwardly.

"Actually…" My dad began.

I visibly paled as he continued, an old memory coming to the front of my mind, "He had attended T University here for a year."

Right then, I figured out why everyone found the need to hit their heads against large, solid objects: it gave you an excuse to hide away from the situation. You could say you had a headache and leave, which by that time would be true. "And he was born here in Japan and lived here until he was eleven or twelve, I believe," Kakashi supplied.

'TRAITORS!'

"But he isn't exactly the most cultured Japanese in the world…" Sasuke pointed out.

I nodded in conviction, 'Leave it to the teme to come up with insults that benefits me.'

"Very well then, we will leave this situation up for grabs for now. Naruto Namikaze, if you can prove to me and my sons that you are a true Japanese man in three days, we'll go on with this deal with you working as the lawyer on behalf of your father's company."

My mind froze and I could swore the Earth tilted off of its axis; I remained immobile as my father bowed to Fugaku, "He won't let you down."

Fugaku returned the bow and left with his members in tow and Deidara all but dragged me back to the car. I was still frozen in shock by the time that we pulled off and it wasn't until we had reached the hotel that I had been in that morning did I finally demand an answer. "Why the heck would you sign me up for anything? This wasn't what we agreed on! You said if I helped you get the merger then I could wash my hands clean of everything involving this company!"

"I understand that, Naruto," My father said as some man opened the door for us, "But I haven't gotten the merger yet. Without a Japanese lawyer I won't be able to make this deal and it could take weeks to find someone suitable or trustworthy enough for such an important deal. At least if it's you then I know I've left the details in good hands. I knew it was a good thing I paid your way through law school."

"Wait, but…" Minato turned to me for a moment and I whined the last part of my sentence, "I don't know how to act Japanese!"

He laughed, something I hadn't heard in a long time and patted me on the shoulder, "Ask Deidara to teach you."

Glancing over at said blonde, the evil glint in his eyes told me everything I needed to know about the 'lessons'. "But…"

By the time I turned around, my father was disappearing in an elevator, waving at me, a smile plastered on his face. As soon as he disappeared, I gripped my hair tightly and pulled the tangled locks, hoping that I would find some way out of my current predicament. "Well, student," Deidara smirked, staring at me, "Shall we commence our first lesson on being Japanese: Sumo wrestling and martial arts."

"FUCKIN' A!"

1. It came from a story I read by SoWrites titles The Trials.

2. It came from the lovely Rizember who you should totally check out and is one of the funniest authors I have ever met!

3. Usuratonkachi means (lit.) dead last. Also translated to moron by someone who wanted to switch slang for slang. IRDK

4. An actual story by Juura99.

5. Based off the two people that are Minato's actual team mates

6. Tokyo Tower is a replica of the Eiffel Tower in Shiba Park, Minato, Tokyo, Japan

7. Otouto means little brother in Japanese; Deidara and Naruto aren't brothers in this fic! They just have a close relationship!

8. Shachou means president or director in Japanese. It's an honorific

Okay, for those of you who checked out the first chapter BEFORE I re-submitted it, I am sincerely sorry about the spacing issues.

For the rest of you who are just now reading the story, thanks for reading! As you may notice, Naruto will have some more problems in his near future, most of which will be caused by either 1) Deidara, 2) Minato, 3)Sasuke and 4)Deidara. You might want to also count himself in there…

Review.

World domination might be on the other side.

Maybe.

xSerenityInChaosx: Thanks for the compliment. You're also my first reviewer, so extra thanks!

KatrinaEagle: Thank ya, thank ya very much. I thought of that all by my lonesome. Actually, I did say that at one time, but that's a completely different story. Admittedly, Minato is a bit of an ass, but with good reason. So don't be too mean to him.

i-got-m2m: I'm glad you liked the plot. It did take me a while to come up with and it was only because I ended up having to read this book about business etiquette in foreign countries (one of which was Japan). Sorry about the spacing, though. It was some issue I had momentarily with my flash drive, but nothing permanent. And I'll work on the shorter paragraphs thing, but I've been scolded about that since middle school and that hasn't changed in uni. Can't say I'll ever get out of it… *sigh*

Lazy Gaga: Yeah, I know… I did screw up with that. I hope this chapter's spacing was better! XD

Dobe-14: Are you even allowed to review your own story? *points accusing finger* You've already read this missy!