I do not Own Harold and Kumar

Kumar was in his room with the 50 cent turned up. He was searching for something cleaner to wear, a.k.a. picking stuff off the floor and sniffing it to see if it smelled like sweat and pot; which most of it did. He picked up a plaid over shirt and a hoodie vest. Keeping a T-shirt that had the works 'Fuck Off' written in neon colors. His blue jeans from his first trip to White Castle, with rips and cuts in it hung from his waist perfectly. He was ready to get wasted. Harold walked through the door and Sat down on the sofa.

"Roldy! Hey, there's a big bash at uptown."

"Not today…Loooong day…"

"Oh come on, you don't even have to do anything, you can just get blitzed out your skull and sit on the fucking floor in a hallucinogenic haze."

"No, movement needed?"

"Nope."

"Fine, but you better be serious."

Harold said sitting up a little, he had laid his new and unbroken laptop on the table and let it sit. Kumar smiled, he wasn't completely sure that Harold wouldn't have to move. But hey lying is the spice of life. After a few moments of rest and some soda they dragged their asses out to Harold's car and revved up to the club uptown. It was 9:00 and at 9:00 Jersey downtown got really crowded. They shoved past peoples aplenty and made it to Uptown, the bright neon sign flashing and the big bad bouncer looking like her could flatten a gorilla. They made it to the door and the bouncer thrust out his arm, stopping them.

"Private party, got an invite?"

"We're Roaches Bitches."

Kumar said quickly, not wanting to die this young in life. Harold gave him a look of horror.

"Oh you didn't tell me she was going to be here. Oh fuck no I'm gone."

"Good luck I've got the car keys, letting us in?"

The bouncer rolled his eyes and moved aside they moved in and the party was booming. Girls dancing on the bar top guys dumping bottle of tequila on them, the place reeked of pot and sweat. And Kumar did all that searching for nothing. Kumar looked around and couldn't see Roach; she was pretty small kid so it would naturally be hard. A random guy passed him a bong which he took a hit from and then passed to Harold.

"Kumaaaar!"

He heard Roach yell. He looked around and then up. She was hanging on one of the bars on the ceiling by her knees and looking down at him.

"What are you doing?!"

"Hanging out!"

"How'd you get up there!?"

"Hell if I know! One minute I'm doing body shots with the bartender and then next I'm hanging upside down form the ceiling!...I wanna get down now."

She said looking kinda pathetic. He held out his arms a little.

"Okay, just drop."

She did some adjusting on the bar and was now holding on with her hands, She took a breath and fell. Kumar half caught her, he managed to catch her torso and it slid through his arms and she landed on the floor with a soft thud.

"Ooooowwww….Tailbone…pain…"

She said rubbing her ass; Kumar pulled her up and brushed her off. Grabbing her ass good naturedly.

"Sorry."

"Pain."

"I said I'm sorry."

"Pain! Let go of my ass goddammit!"

She said moving backwards out of his grasp. She rubbed her ass some more and walked up to the bar, everyone here was supposedly over 21 so it was no questions asked. She got a Hard Lemonade and gulped it down. The girl was cheap drunk so one of those was enough to make her forget her probably fractured tailbone.

"Much better, no I have GOT to introduce you to my friends Micha and Karismah. "

"Dude you can name someone Karismah?"

Kumar asked Harold as they followed the misled teen to a back lounge where a black haired kid with a pink scarf tied around his neck was conversing with a slim brunette. The Brunette and the black haired kid that looked like a mix between Mexican and Asian looked up at them.

"M-M! Who do we have here!?"

Micha asked Roach, Cocking his eyebrow at Kumar and Harold, Smoothing his hair.

"Micha, Karismah, meet my bitches, Kumar and Harold."

Micha and Karismah burst out laughing.

"We are not bitches!"

Harold said loudly.

"Oh she calls everyone that! Come on, have a drink, smoke a joint, Roach sit between Micha and your bitches."

Roach purposely didn't hear Karismah and let him sit next to Harold. They started Joking and Harold and Kumar embarked on a long recount of their trip to White Castle. Karismah pulled out a bag of brownies and passed them around. Pot was like water in this place, it was everywhere, a communal source. Micha laid his hand on Harolds thigh, so casually Harold didn't really notice until it started creeping downwards.

"Heyheyheyhey-Yah!"

Micha did it, he grabbed Harold's crotch and squoze, not hard but still, Harold had nothing against Gay people. He just wasn't gay himself and didn't like getting fingered by another guy. The whole table burst out laughing except for Micha and Harold, harold was cursing loudly and Micha had a satisfied smile on his face.

"Harold the sexy beast!"

Roach said raising her drink. The rest of them clinked glasses and drank, they weren't thirsty but they were hungry as fuck. The bartender was trying to get everyone to be quiet.

"Hey everyone Shaddup!!!"

Roach shouted, everyone was quiet. Such a small thing could make an extravagant amount of noise. The bartender turned up the volume on the T.V. It was the 'Marijuana Kills' Commercial.

"Dude, just take a hit"

"…"

"Don't you want to be cool?"

"hackcough."

"dude what are you doing."

"Dude, I'm so High nothing can hurt me!"

"eheheh..Noooo!"

BLAM!

The whole bar erupted into laughter but Harold and Kumar saw this as a sign, that commercial was the very one that played right before their stomachs growled and they embarked to White Castle. That was 6 months ago. But hey they were too high to completely care because the next commercial was the dreaded White Castle commercial, and simultaneously Kumar, Harold, and Roaches stomachs growled. Roach and Kumar were drooling over the commercial; Roach leaned so far out she fell off her chair. Harold was taking a deep, here we go again, sigh.

"Haaarooold."

They both said looking back at him.

"What? Oh no, nono! Nuh uhn! I'm not going through that again!"

Roach and Kumar looked at each other, cocked an eyebrow and grabbed Harold by each arm. They easily picked him up and dragged him out of the booth.

"Okay We'll see you 2 later! We've gotta go to White Castle."

Roach said and they dragged Harold kicking and Screaming. The bouncer didn't stop them, Kumar was the only one sober enough to drive so he pulled out and got on the road while Roach was in the back seat restraining Harold by sitting on him. And so our three young Harlequins embarked on their journey to White Castle. Unable to go back because by the time they got on the high way they had simply 'Gone too far.'

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I've been left alone in my house too long. I'm starting to hear things. The voices made me write this.