A/N: Chapter two! Review and give me some ideas. Thank you for reading this far!

Szayel sighed. Here they were, the other two breathing all over his pens and papers while making loud and unruly laughing sounds. He tuned into Nnoitra's loud guffaws, big surprise, and pointing at Szayel.

"... 3 and 4, alright Szayel?"

The scientist paused. "So... you want me to complete 3 and 4 for you?"

The spoontastic man nodded.

Szayel shrugged indifferently, and took the papers, and looked at the selections they had made for him. The other two disappeared, Grimmjow yelling something about "grabbing camera" and "hiding and watching".

"Good morning, Aizen-sama," Szayel greeted in his silkiest voice, sinking into a bow, standing very close.

"Why hello Szayel. Nice to see you out visiting. I trust everything is going smoothly?" he smiled, sipping his tea.

Szayel nodded, sidling up closer to him. His amber eyes were fixed on the cup in Aizen's hand as Szayel's inner self screeched to put distance between the two. Aizen didn't seemed phased, but Gin and Tousen noticed.

The perpetually grinning and squinting ex-shinigami's smile widened as he speculated. Is this why Szayel never left his lab? Was he hiding something... like a crush? The smile widened a touch more at that.

Tousen, on the other hand, was not impressed. He stepped closer to his lord, and his hand once again rested on the hilt of his Suzumushi. He was prepared for justice. Gin noticed this protective behavior, and began to construct in his mind a twisted love triangle between the three men in front of him.

Could it be that Szayel harbored a barely controllable lust for his leader, while another man stood guard of his precious master?

Precious indeed, he noted slyly. He never would have guessed Tousen of that behavior. Szayel was higher on his gay list.

Yes, Gin Ichimaru had a gay list, but that's another story. What mattered at the moment was that Szayel was now leaning in towards Aizen, and taking a deep breath in through his nose.

The scientist pondered, then sniffed at him once more. Aizen raised an eyebrow, but that was all he could do before Szayel asked in a disbelieving tone:

"Is that... do I smell Herbal Essences?"

Aizen paused. Tousen stepped a threatening step closer to Szayel.

Gin writhed inside with contained laughter. Was this heading for a full-scale malling? He continued to watch.

After a moment, Aizen nodded. "How very astute, octava."

That was it?

Szayel sighed theatricly. "How very kind of you, my lord. I can recognize that scent from a mile away! And... I have to say, those butterfly wings of yours are simply gorgeous. Very flattering."

Tousen snapped.

"Are you suggesting that our lord is either gay or a transexual, octa?" Suzumushi was now in his hand, and the shikai command was on his lips; they would have left, if not for the sudden burst of Sonido Szayel tactfully used at that moment.

"Pfffffft... hahaha!" Nnoitra snickered as they played out the video him and Grimmjow had taken.

"Oh, check out Tousen!" Grimmjow laughed, pointing out the angry ex-taicho. They both burst into laughter once again, and Szayel muttered, as he took notes on a near-by experiment. These imbisoles had it coming. He smirked at that thought, but decided to wait. His vengence would take place soon enough. A knock sounded at the door then, and Szayel called out for them to come in (with a muttered "fuck off fast").

The door opened, and Tesla entered. The blonde stared around the room, and then caught sight of the video. He stopped dead in his tracks.

"Whoa... Nnoitra-sama, what's going on?" Said quinta spun around and motioned Tesla to come closer. He replayed the video, and Tesla stood in shock. Then, he chuckled.

"Oh you are so funny Nnoitra-sama."

The spoon laughed. "It gets better. I want you to help us out. You're gonna get your ass down there and do a few things for us."

The fraccion gulped visibly, and Szayel felt a fleeting moment of pitty for the boy.

"What... what exactly do you want me to do?"

Conveniently (or inconveniently for poor Tesla), a meeting had been called soon after his assignment from Nnoitra. Tesla waited nervously in the corner with a boombox in his hand, reciting his tasks over and over in his head to keep himself calm. It wasn't working, to say the least. Finally, everyone had showed up except for the much anticipated member.

And finally, the moment came when he graced the room with his presence, and his Seireitei-sized ego, and his two co-leaders flanking him. The moment he set foot inside the door however, Aizen was given a soundtrack.

How unfortunate.

Tesla pushed a button on the machine in his hand, and he set it on the ground. It blasted with surprising force the trilling voice of Mariah from West Side Story.

"I feel pretty," she sang.

Tesla took a deep breath.

'Here goes nothing'.

"GAAAAAAAAY!"

The music continued, and Nnoitra signaled to Tesla to keep going.

"Gaaaaaaay! GAAAAY! HOMOSEXUALITYYYYYYYYYYYYY! BUTTSECS!"

Ulquiorra had finally had enough. He stood calmly from the table, and pointed at the boombox. A cero later, it and a portion of the wall ceased to exist. Grimmjow sighed. More repairs for him to do later. He made a mental note to kick the shit out of Bat Man.

Ulquiorra sat down as if nothing had happened. The poor fraccion I'm afraid, didn't have such control. He squeaked, and pressed backwards into the wall, hoping against hope it would swallow him up, or that Ulquiorra had cero'd him instead.

The room was dead silent. No one moved, not even the grinning quinta, who's smile was threatening to split his face in two.

Finally, Aizen said very quietly, "What is this, Mr. Lindocruz?"

Tesla blanched. No one ever called him by his last name.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm and your support of homosexuality, however your efforts are wasted on the wrong man. I am not gay."

Tesla took a shaky breath in.

"B-but... but you came out of the closet, didn't you?"

The leader's gaze hardened slightly, and his riiatsu began to rise, but his tone remained steady. "No."

Nnoitra signaled frantically to Tesla to take the opening.

"So you haven't c-come out yet?" the brave fraccion queeried (no pun intended).

The table recieved a long crack down it's centre from the riiatsu weighing down on it.

"Tesla."

The fraccion gulped. Grimmjow ground his teeth. This better not be messy, his job was huge enough as it is, him slacking off and all that.

Nnoitra spat out between snickering, "When you comin' out? I'm sure Tousen would appreciate the loving gesture, sir."

A/N: If you are a Death Note fan, there is a good abridged by TeamDattebayo called "Death Note: The Abridged Series". Imagine that, what a unique title. It's very... VERY funny. Do watch it. And please review!