Author's Note: I posted this story a few years ago under my old pen name, but later deleted it. Now I'm posting it again.
The next two weeks were the best of Harry Potter's short life. Voldemort was totally dead this time, and there was no longer a Prophecy hanging over his head. He was rich. Harry knew he had been well-off before, but now he was seriously rich. Teddy and Andromeda were as safe as he could make them. Best of all, there was Luna.
Luna Potter, his wife. After twenty-four hours in bed together, Harry had sent Uta the house-elf back to Hogwarts to secretly collect all of their belongings. After a week in bed together he proposed to her. A small part of him knew they were too young, but the rest of him didn't care. Harry did not just have a near-death experience, he had a death experience. How could he rationalize waiting for a future that might never come?
They went to find Luna's father Xenophilius that day, so he could witness the wedding of his only daughter. Since the elder Lovegood had sold Harry, Hermione, and Ron out to the Death Eaters it was an awkward meeting.
"Luna, where have you been all this time? Headmistress McGonagall has sent the Aurors out looking for you. For you too, Mr Potter. Your... disappearance is all anyone can talk about."
Xenophilius was torn between relief at seeing his daughter alive, and embarrassment at seeing the Boy-Who-Lived. To Harry it seemed like the perfect moment to ask for Luna's hand in marriage.
"Mr Lovegood, I would like to marry your daughter. Today, if that is all right with you."
"Daddy, tell Harry he has your blessing." Luna still had issues with father's actions during the war. A lot of issues. "Tell him right now."
"Er... welcome to the family."
Xenophilius then joined the small wedding party as they made their way to muggle London. Harry had no desire for the circus that a wedding in the magical world would cause. And Luna was so happy she would've gladly had the wedding at the bottom of the Black Lake and presided over by a Merman if that's what Harry wanted. They agreed to simply register their marriage with the muggle government. After a week or two the official paperwork would reach Ministry of Magic, not that either of them really cared.
Luna had saved the silver dress she wore during their one date to the Slug Club, and she thought it would make a perfect wedding dress. Harry agreed. However the poor muggle who married them didn't know what to make of Luna's odd jewelry or Harry's black dress robes. Andromeda could barely keep a straight face during the ceremony, and Teddy kept giggling. Xenophilius cried.
You would think that having a honeymoon in the same house with your godson and his grandmother would kill the atmosphere—especially since Harry recently had sex with the grandmother in question. But the two newlyweds didn't mind at all. They were having a wonderful time at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place and no one could ruin it for them.
Well, maybe one person could: the new Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt. It seemed that Harry's disappearance was causing some problems for the Ministry of Magic, and Kingsley wanted to meet with him as soon as possible. He was so desperate that he personally ambushed Kreacher at a butcher's shop in Diagon Alley, and forced the house-elf to take a letter to his master.
Uta—who had never thought much of Kreacher to begin with—was outraged by this betrayal, and demanded the ultimate penalty. Harry had never forgiven the old house-elf for his part in Sirius' death, but he had been willing to look the other way after the Battle at Hogwarts. Now he had agreed with Uta: Kreacher wouldn't have cooperated with Kingsley if he was truly loyal to his master. The safety of his new wife and godson were at sake, so Harry gave his Uta and Quin his approval. The three house-elves disappeared, and they never saw Kreacher again.
"This is going to be a disaster, I just know it," Luna said as she reread Kingsley's short letter.
"Don't worry Mrs Potter, I have an agenda drawn up. If Minister Shacklebolt thinks he can run roughshod over your husband like Albus Dumbledore did, then he's in for a nasty surprise," Andromeda said.
The whole point of this impromptu summit was to negotiate Harry's return to the magical world, so Andromeda insisted that they meet at a muggle hotel in Birmingham. Kingsley was to come alone, and if he didn't they had a pair of Portkeys ready. They also had two brooms if the Aurors tried to trap them with a set of temporary wards. Harry was surprised to learn that Andromeda was an excellent flier thanks to her four years as a Chaser for Slytherin Quidditch team.
"Do you really think all these precautions are necessary?" Harry asked during their long planning session.
"I lost my husband to the Ministry of Magic," Andromeda said coldly. "Even if some of the personal are new, it's still the same vile and corrupt institution it has always been. It you forget that even for a second, then you are as good as dead."
Harry was brought back to the present when Kingsley finally knocked on the door. He let the older wizard into the room, and offered him a drink. The Minister skipped the drink and the small talk.
"We're all curious about your plans for the future," Kingsley said as he sat down on the plush sofa. "Given the role you played in Voldemort's defeat, everyone was shocked you left without any warning. You also haven't taken part in any of the recent celebrations, which is raising eyebrows. The average witch and wizard would like to thank you for everything that you've done."
Harry and Andromeda shared a look. She had warmed him that Kingsley would try to snowball him with promises of adoring crowds and joyous celebrations. Andromeda argued that if he allowed the Ministry of Magic to treated as a teenager without any real power, that is exactly what he would become. He had to establish his political authority quickly before others tried to fill the vacuum left by the deaths of Dumbledore and Voldemort.
"Before we discuss my future plans I have a few questions. First of all, what do you plan to do with the Death Eaters now under arrest?" Harry asked.
"There will be trials beginning on the first of the month," Kingsley said. It was clearly an uncomfortable subject for him.
"The entire government was purged of anyone who wasn't a fanatical supporter of the Dark Lord, so how can you have trials that are remotely fair?" Andromeda asked.
"We have been replacing key members of the Ministry of Magic since the Battle of Hogwarts. The trials will be fair—I can guarantee that."
Harry decided to ignored the fiction of fair trials, and laid out his own terms. "Everyone with the Dark Mark must die, and everything they own will be taken as compensation for their muggleborn victims."
That statement shocked Kingsley. "You want me to execute sixty-four of the most powerful pureblood wizards in the country?"
"For starters," Andromeda said. "There will also be a total pardon for any actions Harry and his friends were forced to take during the war. Since that would cover your actions as well, I don't think it will be much of a problem."
"The pardons are already being drafted by my personal lawyer. Do you have anything else in mind?" the Minister asked with a great deal of sarcasm.
"Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, and I will receive the Order of Merlin, First Class. No one else—including you and the other members of the Order of the Phoenix—will receive any special recognition for their roles in the war," Harry said.
"So you did it all by yourself Potter?" Kingsley ask in a dangerous tone. "That's not how I remember it."
Andromeda believed that any awards given out would be the first step in a campaign to minimize Harry's role in Voldemort's defeat. The Ministry of Magic would spread credit around liberally, including to those who didn't deserve any. It went against the grain for Harry to deny others the recognition they had earned, but for political reasons he agreed with Andromeda.
"No. As I said, Hermione and Neville helped."
Kingsley turned away to hide his anger. He had planned on awarding himself an Order of Merlin, First Class to cement his status in the new government, but how could Potter have known that? It must have been Andromeda. She was a former member of the Black family with all the baggage that entailed. The witch would have to be watched closely from now on.
It was time for some veiled threats. "I take it you are living at our former headquarters?"
Kingsley knew that the Order of the Phoenix had a headquarters before the war started, and that it was located somewhere in London. However the exact address eluded him, which meant it was now under the Fidelius Charm. This was a problem, but not an insurmountable one. There were ways to crack the Fidelius, but they would require a lot of time and manpower.
Andromeda smiled as if she could read his mind—which she couldn't thanks to his Occlumency training. "Minister, our living arrangements are none of your concern. Harry also expects automatic Apparition and Portkey Licenses. And a round of NEWT testings should be scheduled at Hogwarts as soon as possible."
Kingsley knew it was in his interest to pacify the boy, so he began the negotiations. "I can agree to everything except the executions. The Ministry of Magic can not engage in a mass murder. And that is what it would look like to many important people."
"Of the sixty-four marked Death Eaters, how many are younger than twenty?" Andromeda asked.
"Ten, if I remember correctly. Why?"
"We both know that the Dark Mark was a sign of the élite for the Dark Lord. His hardcore supporters easily numbered in the hundreds, and thousands agreed with him to one degree or another. Fifty-four wizards is the bare minimum we are willing to accept. Given the horrific nature crimes they committed, it's a travesty of justice that we are executing so few. This pureblood racism has eating us alive for decades, and it must end now."
"You are right, execution is exactly what the Death Eaters deserve. But that many deaths will trigger another war—another war we can't afford at the moment. We need time to recover our strength."
Andromeda shook her head. "Those were the same arguments Albus Dumbledore used back in early eighties. It was a mistake then, and it's a mistake now."
"And if you let Lucius Malfoy walk free again, there will be another war," Harry said in a quite voice.
"Is that a threat?"
"Yes, it is," Harry replied.
"Calm down boys," Andromeda snapped. "Kingsley, we both know you have very little credibility with the general public. For most, you are just another corrupt Auror from a corrupt Ministry of Magic. You need Harry to provide your new government with legitimacy. That is why you asked for this meeting in the first place."
"The death of the Death Eaters will cause you problems in the short term—we admit that. But in the long-term it will strengthen moderate and progressive elements within the Ministry. Isn't that what Dumbledore wanted? Isn't that what you want? To lead us out of the dark ages and into a better future for all wizards and witches, regardless of blood."
"When can we schedule the Order of Merlin ceremony?" he asked, signaling his acceptance of their terms. As painful as it was for him to admit, Kingsley Shacklebolt needed to be standing arm-in-arm with the great Harry Potter if he wanted to survive as the Minister of Magic for any length of time.
"As soon as Hermione is back in the country. Do you have any idea when that will be?" Harry asked.
"As a matter of fact I do. The Australian Ministry wasn't happy that she managed to break the quarantine, and sneak into their country. She should be back in the next few days," Kingsley explained.
"Are you serious? Other countries have us under a quarantine? Do they think we were diseased farm animals or something?"
"Harry, we are diseased animals," Andromeda said. "How else would you describe the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters?"
Hermione Granger was a mess. Not only had she returned from Australia with her newly divorced mother, but then Harry had informed her that she would be taking her NEWTs in less than a month. The news that the Death Eaters were to be executed didn't bother her that much—she only questioned why the number of condemned was so low. The war done a great deal of damage to her sense of idealism.
"A month! How am I suppose to prepare a study schedule, let alone actually study in a month's time," she cried.
Harry tried to reassure her. "Hermione, please calm down. Luna and I will be right beside you the whole time. Considering how well you did on your OWLs, you should have no problems with your NEWTs."
Luna had elected to take her exams with Harry even though she had been locked-up at the Malfoy Manor for half of her sixth year. The new Mrs Potter wasn't upset about skipping her last year at Hogwarts. Not in the least. In fact she was probably hoping to be pregnant by the first of September. Harry told Hermione that his new wife had stopped using the Contraceptive Charm the day after their wedding.
Hermione and her mother had taken up residence with the growing family at Number Twelve. Apparently the Granger marriage wasn't very stable, and the only thing holding it together had been their daughter. With Hermione out of the picture thanks to the Memory Charm, the marriage only lasted six weeks. At that point Richard Granger ran off with their buxom dental hygienist.
Rather than being angry, Beatrice and Richard thanked Hermione when they recovered their old memories. They were both much happier with their new lives Down Under. While her father had decided to stay in Australia, her mother returned with Hermione to the United Kingdom for a vacation. Beatrice was interested in daughter's life as a witch, and wanted to see more of the magical world now that the war was finally over.
Teddy Potter also had a few secrets of his own. Since he was the son of a dark creature, Nymphadora and Remus had not been able to register his birth with the Ministry of Magic. If they had, all three of them would have been arrested and most likely killed. And thanks to the chaos of the war Teddy's birth hadn't been registered with the muggle government either—basically he had no legal existence.
When Harry went to correct this oversight, Andromeda shocked him by insisting that he claim Teddy as his biological son. She argued that as the son of a werewolf he would face endless discrimination, but as the son of famous Boy-Who-Lived all sorts of doors would be opened for him in the future. His parents weren't alive to deny it, and as a Metamorphmagus it would be easy for Teddy hide the truth in a few years. A pair of green eyes is all it would take. Harry had no idea about how much Andromeda despised Remus, and he agreed to the deception in order to pacify her. They used a Memory Charm to fool a muggle official into providing them with the necessary documentation.
"It is going to be really uncomfortable dealing with Ron and Ginny when we arrive at Hogwarts for Order of Merlin ceremony," Hermione remarked—rather unnecessarily in Harry's opinion.
News of Harry and Luna's marriage had been leaked to the Daily Prophet, and it was splashed all over the front page. A second bombshell dropped the next day when the Prophet reported that Teddy was Harry's son. They also provided an entirely fictional timeline of his love life. According to Rita Skeeter's breathless article Harry had a real weakness for older witches. First there had been Hermione, then Cho Chang, and finally Nymphadora.
"If they only knew the truth," Andromeda slyly added.
According to Skeeter, the Chosen One had broken this habit only after the tragic death of the mother of his firstborn son. Harry decided to take a child bride to soothe his broken heart. This snide comment offered a rare chance to see his new wife explode in anger.
"I am not a bloody child bride!" Luna yelled over and over again.
Added to this list of disasters was the fact that Hermione had dumped Ron the minute she returned home. Australia had opened Hermione's eyes in more ways than one. She now saw her father for what he really was: an arrogant, lazy, and narrow-minded bigot who criticized his intelligent wife far too often. Andromeda explained that this is why she had been attracted to Ron, and her mother Beatrice agreed.
Yes, seeing the Weasley family again was going to be a barrel of laughs.