I'm excluding Alhambra and Rip from this for the simple fact that they wind up becoming his familiars and were most likely among the masses of souls that Alucard had to slaughter. Luke I considered an exception to that rule because…well, he was dog food, was he not? XD
I can't write a french accent for the life of me, so just imagine his voice having his usual french accent. Enjoy!
The French Stereotype
"You see a lot of things as a bartender. You see a lot of things at The Pixel Palace. So, I see a lot of things as a bartender at The Pixel Palace. And that's no lie. Swear to it."
Oh how the demoness bartender loved parodies of stereotypes. She could not help but find much amusement as she had some downtime in Asphodel and set up her laptop at the bar, putting on Video Game Confessions* on at full volume so that she could hear as she went about emptying the massive dishwasher and putting glasses as well as cocktail utensils away. "God, the one about Pac-Man NEVER fails to crack me up!" she smiled away about the thought of Pac Man also being Mrs. Pac Man. As the next video began to play about the Confessions of Lara Croft, the redwood door opened to the bar, making a creaking sound and perking Thalo's ears up to the new patron.
A lone, dark green eye began to glance around the room, taking in the sight of the lounge and bar as the frenchman stepped further inside. Pip did not expect to be in such a….homey place. "Huh. A bar? How strange. I expected more burning pits of hell."
"What the hell do you read, man? Oh, wait, I am sure you read lascivious magazines in your spare time in between missions?" Thalo mocked with a huge grin on her face. Pip narrowed his eye at the bartender, clearly not happy with the generalization about him and his habits. Sure he indulged in a Playboy or Penthouse once in a blue moon, but that did not mean he did it on a daily basis. "I do not appreciate being put in that bubble, thank you. I do have feelings."
"Oh really? I thought you drowned out your feelings in copious amounts of liquor." she shot back with an even bigger grin, recalling watching the Wild Geese's drunken parties in the lull between missions. She shuddered a little at the thought of one of the stockier mercenaries running around with only his boxers and gyrating his hips while twirling a gun holster above his head. "Those parties were not all the time-wait. How do you know about the drinking games?"
" Oh! You call them GAMES. They looked more like 'call the liquor company and tell them to ship crates of booze so we can regret our decisions in the morning.' events." the demoness did not know why, but she was on a massive streak of teasing and meanness. What was the word they used? Oh yes! A 'trolling' streak she was on, she thought to herself.
Tired of trying to defend himself, he went ahead and sat down at one of the tables, choosing not to sit at the bar and get even MORE of a tongue lashing from the demoness about the things he did when he was alive. He felt like such a dog with its tail between its legs; Sure he like to indulge in the drink and in women, but that was not him all the time. He DID have a job and men to take care of. He had to make sure the men were safe, well rested, fed and so many more things he couldn't remember off the top of his head. In the end, the Wild Geese were a surrogate family to the one he lost so long ago.
And Seras, the Mignonette. He finally got to show his feelings to her at the very last second, and now she was so much stronger because of him. His-dare he think it-love for her fueled his desire for her to live and to keep on living. His chin resting on his hand he smiled at remembering the feeling of her soft lips pressed against his as he fought to hang on just for her. He remembered feeling himself slipping further into the arms of Death and urging her to take his blood and grow to be stronger. He never said it, but he felt that he would always be with her in spirit.
Hearing his thoughts loud and clear in her head, Thalo could not help but feel a string tug at her own twisted version of a heart. Crude frenchman he may be, but hell he gave up his life to let a reluctant fledgling vampire live. Not a lot of people could say they did that. She remembered the fight between Seras, Zorin and Pip vaguely, but there were words that rung in her head as she watched the battle with Cereza and Cereza's lover, Cheshire*.
"She better get her ass in gear and realize that she has a man in her life that gave it up for her. That…is real love." her male companion said as he held his own lover tighter in his arms.
"Hey, Frenchie." Thalo said, perking up the Captain and making him look at her warily. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. You really did love that girl, as dim as she can be sometimes about being a vampire. But hell, you showed her what she needed to do. Not many humans can testify that they MADE a vampire drink blood, let alone their own to keep them alive. Well, excluding Yayoi and Shido*, but that's another day."
Pip got up from the table to head to the crescent moon counter, taking a seat in one of the stools. "What brought this change of heart?"
"Careful, I might change it again if you bring it back up." the demoness warned, prompting the action of a zipper going over the Captain's lips, locking it and throwing away the key. "Look….you love this girl, it's obvious. Pervert you may be, motivated by money, definitely. But you fought for a city that was not your own, and fought for a girl who wormed her way into your heart. I am sure you did the same with hers. Take heart, man. You did a good thing. You saved her, and not many people can say that."
As the demoness bartender spoke, the messenger came in with the manila envelope, handing it promptly to the former Captain and nodding at Thalo before disappearing. "Eh? What's this?"
"Your 'verdict.' It's where you get to go since you died. I have a hunch that since your little vampiress drank your blood, you became her familiar." Thalo speculated, twirling a swizzle stick in between her fingers. Pip carefully opened the envelope, pulling out the single sheet of paper. The writing was typed in Times New Roman font, at a decent size for both Pip and Thalo to read:
"As your blood was consumed by the vampire Seras Victoria, you are now her familiar until she passes on. Once such events occur, you are to report to the Ante-Purgatory under the title of 'Late Repentant'."
"….What on earth does this mean?" Pip looked up, confused at the demoness, who rolled her eyes. "Look, Zorin killed you. You were not read your last rites, hence giving you that particular title. Be happy though, it could have been a helluva lot worse. I'd be seeing you in either the second or fourth circle of Inferno. Neither of them are pleasant, let me tell you. Considering you killed people for money and cavorted with women, yeah." she said, giving a smirk as she tossed the swizzle stick up in the air and landing it in the cup next to her with the other swizzle sticks. "On the bright side! You get to stay with your lil' Filet Mignon for a good long time!"
At the statement of hearing his love being compared to a cut of beef, Pip could not help but bow his head and shake, but laughing at the thought of the butchered nickname for Seras. He now wondered if she ever liked that cut before she became a vampire. He now had all the time in the world to ask her those kinds of questions.
Footnotes!
1. I HAD to throw in Video Game Confessions for this one. much credit goes to thatguywiththeglasses[dot]com for that wonderful segment and the inspiration to write this chapter.
2. I can't help it. Bayonetta! 3
3. Yayoi and Shido refer to an anime show called "Nightwalker: Midnight Detective." It gets stupid and campy at times, but hell I love it all the same.
4. 2nd and 4th circles represent Lust and Greed respectively. Nuff said. xD
Hope you liked! ^-^