Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a time or any of the characters.
Thanks to my beta, its a story of love (Clare), for helping me out!
Junior Year, November 2015
'Oh, come on, Em! For me?'
Emma shakes her head from under the blankets. Of course, Regina isn't having any of it. She shoves the blankets off Emma. She sighs when she sees her friend, who is curled up in a ball.
'Emma, come on.' Regina takes her hands in Emma's and moves them in a sitting position.
Emma looks at her friend. It seems Regina becomes more and more beautiful with each day. If she didn't think Regina was beautiful when she first saw her, she certainly thinks so now. The extremely short locks were long gone. Regina's hair falls in gentle waves just over her shoulders, eyes still the same deep chocolate brown. Emma looks down at their joined hands, flipping them and staring at the red-painted nails. After a few moments, she moves her head up and looks at Regina.
'Why?' she whines. It isn't exactly what she expected herself to say.
'Emma, you haven't seen anyone in the years I've known you. Hell, I don't think you ever dated anyone in your life.'
'That's not true,' Emma protests, 'Remember Hayley?'
'You saw each other for a week before you dumped her. That doesn't count, Emma.'
The blonde grumbles a bit but finally gives in, knowing Regina can be quite persistent at times. Regina jumps up, her hands slipping out of Emma's. Emma finds herself missing the warmth immediately, but doesn't let it show. She's become very good at hiding her feelings over the years.
'I know you'll like Ruby. She reminds me of you sometimes. Anyways, go pick an outfit. Robin will be here in fifteen minutes!'
On their way to the club where they're supposed to meet Ruby, Robin and Regina are holding hands. Emma desperately tries not to stare at them. It was bad enough when she emerged from her room and she walked in on them kissing. Emma's heart had clenched in her chest. Oh, what she wouldn't give to be the one who makes Regina looks so flustered and smiling.
She shakes her head to clear her thoughts. Maybe Ruby can help her forget about Regina, even if it is only for one night. Emma grimaces slightly and follows the couple. Regina's not so subtle ways to set her up seemed to finally catch up with her. The brunette should know by now none of them would work out. She thought Regina would've given up by now. It's been weeks since the last blind date her friend had made her go to. Somehow this was even worse.
It isn't that Regina's dress isn't pretty to look at. Hell, the young woman looks breathtaking in it. It was more that she would have to watch her best friend cling to Regina the whole time.
'Emma, keep up a bit, will ya?' Robin shouts over his shoulder. Emma, noticing she had ended up a few feet from them, quickly catches up.
Emma sighs and throws back another shot. She's not sure how tonight could be worse. It's not that Ruby is not nice. On the contrary, the girl is almost perfect. She likes Ruby, but she just isn't interested. Maybe she shouldn't be so focused on Regina. Her friend is obviously in love with Robin. The two have been clinging to each other the entire evening. Maybe if she let it go, she could give someone else a chance. But deep down she knows she can't. She sighs deeply.
Ruby suddenly moves forward and plants her lips on the blondes. Emma is surprised for a moment before she slightly pulls away. Her eyes automatically search Regina. She can see the brunette's head that is slightly turned towards her and Ruby. She wears a troubled look and Emma allows herself for a moment to believe it's one of jealousy. But Regina turns back to Robin and Emma shrugs it off. There's no way Regina would be jealous of her and Ruby. She was the one who set them up!
She takes one more step back and looks at Ruby. She searches the girl's eyes, but they don't give anything away that could give her some clarity about this situation. Neither of the girls says something for a moment.
Finally, Ruby decides to open her mouth. 'So, what's the deal with you and Regina?'
Emma gapes at Ruby. 'What?' she asks. 'Nothing is going on.'
Ruby gives her a look that clearly says she knows otherwise.
'I…' Emma starts, before changing her mind. 'It doesn't matter,' she sighs.
Ruby doesn't give her a pitying look, as Mary Margaret would've done. Instead it's one of understanding and points to a couple in the back, where two brunettes are cuddling close.
'See that girl over there? Her name is Belle. I've known her since kindergarten. Regina actually set me up with you because she couldn't stand me drooling over her anymore…'
Emma snorts. 'That does sound like Regina,' she smiles. 'I'm sorry it didn't work out though.' She smiles apologetically at Ruby.
'That's okay. To being friends?' she holds up another shot.
Emma let's out a laugh. 'To being friends,' she repeats.
Emma wakes up with a killer headache. She groans and rolls over, expecting the rest of her bed to be empty when her body collides with that of someone else. She vaguely remembers sitting at the bar with Ruby. She groans again when she remembers their kiss. Did she and Ruby…? No, they didn't. She still clearly remembers ending the kiss and their conversation afterwards. She feels at her body and is relieved she's wearing pajamas. Emma takes a deep breath and turns around.
Her eyes widen and she gasps silently. Next to her lies Regina, the girl she fell in love with a long time ago. Her eyes move over the soft features. The brunette looks so peaceful and Emma is suddenly overwhelmed with the need to kiss her. She's had that need so many times that she stopped counting. She moves a bit closer, absorbing Regina's body warmth, entangling their legs in the progress. She doesn't mind in the slightest and when she notices that Regina stays asleep, she gains some more courage to move even more closer.
Her heart is beating rapidly and she takes a few deep breaths to control her breathing. Her hand reaches out to stroke Regina's hair, but she stops halfway, reminding herself she doesn't have the right to do that. Maybe if Regina and Robin weren't a couple, she could. Maybe if Regina liked her as more than just friends, she could. Emma sighs and drops her hand on the mattress. The movement makes Regina shift a bit and Emma holds her breath. But the brunette stays fast asleep. Emma closes her eyes and feels a tear trickle down her cheek. She bites her lip and quickly wipes it away. Now is not the time. Not with Regina lying next to her.
Suddenly, she realizes what she did. She carefully starts to move away from Regina. Her legs brush against Regina's and she shivers. She silently groans and rolls out of bed. She stares at the brunette for a moment longer. She watches her chest rise and gets lost in the peaceful look Regina wears that only appears in her sleep. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and makes her way to the shower.
When she comes out of the shower, she notices Regina is no longer lying in her bed. Drying her hair, she walks in the direction of their shared living room. About a year ago, they decided to move out of the dorms and get a shared apartment instead. Emma was surprisingly happy about the change. It was a bit farther to get to school now, but she had her yellow bug. Her nose catches on the smell of coffee and when she makes her way to the kitchen, she notices Regina.
She's still wearing her pajamas: a long black shirt that barely covers her lace panties. She's moving her hips on whatever beat she's silently humming. Emma's breath catches in her throat. God, she's just so beautiful. She smiles at the sight. In freshman year Regina used to have silk pajama sets. When they'd gotten past their differences and finally became friends, Emma taught her about oversized shirts and tank tops. Her smile widens at the memory.
She watches the brunette for a while longer before sneaking up on her. She gently places her hands on her friend's shoulders and tries not to think about how close they are or this how this would be something couples would do. Regina jumps and turns around.
'Emma!'
Regina starts to say something else, but the sudden closeness is distracting Emma. She breathes in Regina's scent. Since it's morning she isn't wearing perfume yet and Emma gets lost in the scent that's just all Regina. It takes all her strength to not move her eyes just a little bit lower.
'Emma?' Regina asks, this time concerned.
'Hmm, yeah?'
'I asked if you wanted some coffee, but now I see you can use it,' she jokes, taking a step back.
Emma instantly feels the loss of Regina's body warmth and somehow manages a small smile whilst swallowing her disappointment. She briefly wonders if they're going to discuss sharing a bed last night, but decides that it's better to just leave it. Instead she settles on watching Regina making her a cup of coffee.
They've had a few of these kinds of days before. The kind of days where they act like they're a couple. At least, that's what Emma thinks a couple is supposed to look like. While she herself never really had a relationship, she's seen enough of Regina's and Robin's. Waking up and having breakfast together, working in the living room and ending the night with pizza and a movie. Robin had been the one introducing Regina to pizza, and Emma's still a little jealous he had gotten the chance first.
Regina cuddles closer to her and lays her head on her chest. Emma holds her breath, but nothing more happens. She sighs inwardly. She should've known. But still there is a small part of her can't help but hope someday this will all mean more. That she will mean more to Regina, like Regina does to her. She leans down a little bit and softly brushes her lips over Regina's dark hair. The brunette stiffens for a minute, before relaxing into Emma's embrace again.
The days after that one night they'd ended up in bed together things are painfully normal again. Emma thought she might've been making progress with Regina, but the brunette focuses on her normal priorities instead. She goes to class, has lunch with Emma twice a week, goes on dates with Robin and pours herself into her essay with everything she has. Despite the hurt, Emma knows she had allowed herself to hope this time would be different. She brought this upon herself.
So she works with Regina and makes sure her friend stays hydrated. It keeps her busy, mostly. She doesn't think about Regina as much when she focuses on school and work and… Well, she tends to get lost in the brunettes features for what feels like hours. It could've easily been a few minutes, but she isn't aware of how much time passes when she's with Regina. The brunette never seems to notice, always too engaged in her essay and her other schoolwork.
But Emma catches herself on numerous occasions. She doesn't stop though. She thinks that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Regina finally found out. She has imagined several scenarios of what she'd say if the brunette noticed. Regina would ask "why are you staring?" and Emma would answer with something like "because you're beautiful" or "because I like looking at beautiful things".
It never happens though. Regina never turns her head to give her a small smile, to make sure Emma is okay or to ask her why she's been staring for so long. So Emma never says anything, even though she knows it's killing her on the inside. It has always been killing her.