ChäoS;HEAd NOAH
D RATED (17):
Contains graphic depictions of psychological horror, guro, and the occasional ecchi fantasy
Author's Note:
This is a novelization depicting the story of the Japanese Visual Novel 'ChäoS;HEAd NOAH'. Due to the incredible authenticity of the game and astounding effect that it left on me, I'd like to take the time to relay a translated version so my friends and those who don't often play games can experience the thrill as much as I did.
(The story is told from the first-person perspective of the main character, hence the shifting between dialogue and narrative. Certain scenes that do not involve the main character are therefore told in the third-person perspective.)
Like it, ignore it, that's your call. If you do like or read it – or both – make a review, quick of long, as it'll really help me out.
Thanks,
The Author
Summary:
Takumi Nishijo is a high school student and withdrawn hikikomori who is not interested in the 3D things of the outside world. In his hometown of Shibuya, a mysterious serial murder case occurs and people start to panic. One day, when he is on the internet chat room, a man by the alias of "Shogun" suddenly contacts him and gives him a URL. Takumi inexplicably goes to the website and finds a blog image that suggests a next murder case... The next day, it really happens...thus beginning the Hell that threatens Takumi's life…and those around him.
Copyright Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, environments or storylines from ChäoS;HEAd. All rights and privileges come from and go to 5pb and Nitro+
If you are God, and the delusion becomes reality.
About what kind of the noids you get?
Is it the sensual world? The despotic society?
The destructive sanctions?
Or…
Chapter 1 [Eyes in eyes]
I can't see the "gaze".
Not being able to see it even though it's watching me: what a weird concept.
For as long as I can remember, there have been countless instances of me sensing a "gaze" from who knows where.
Even if I turned around, there's no one there. But I'm always convinced that someone had in fact been watching me.
A chilly sensation at the back of your neck.
Is that just what's called being too self-conscious?
Or else, a phobia of being watched?
Until I reached middle school, "Surely God is watching over me." That's seriously what I thought.
An essay I wrote around the same time centred around that kind of theme.
Of course, thinking back on it now, I was a kid and overly full of myself no matter how you look at it. That really stings.
If somebody else happened to read it now, I'd shut myself up for the rest of my life.
Hehehe.
I still remember the title of the essay.
Whose Eyes are Those Eyes?
The backrest of the chair I was leaning against creaked, letting out a sound like a hoarse voice.
"Don't look at me."
Fed up, I murmured that as I looked up at the gloomy ceiling. Of course, there wasn't any answer.
This is my room. I live by myself. There isn't a single human being in this room besides me. I tried turning around.
The room is arranged lengthwise and a little dim. The only source of illumination in here is the lamp set on my computer desk. The room doesn't have any windows so it's dark to begin with. There's absolutely no way to tell what it's like outside. There's no way to tell if it's noon or night.
I raised my voice to the dark corners of the room.
"My name is Nishijo Takumi, 17 years old. I am a second year at Suimei Academy.
"But the truth is I really don't go to school that much." Grades have never been a problem for me. I always take the midterms and finals, and I get pretty good marks on them, "You could call me pretty smart."
It wasn't as if yelling out was going to make anything happen. No one would come running. The darkness just went on being the there in the form of darkness.
But the dark arouses people's fantasies as well as nightmares. Something that can't be seen is ultimately something unknown. Even if you know it's impossible, you can't help but wonder if maybe something might be lurking out there.
Dammit, I have this habit of unintentionally exacerbating my own paranoia….
As though to break away from that I continue my speech.
"I'm currently away…. I mean, I live by myself in Shibuya. This Kurenai hall building is under the administration of the building corporation that my dad manages, but I'm renting the container housing located on the roof at a pretty cheap price.
"The city environment blows. I live in Shinsen-cho, and there are a lot of hills so going around is tiring. On top of that, the love hotel district is close by. It'd have been awesome if it were Akiba.
"Shibuya is seriously an awful town. It sucks about as bad as Deans Valley in 'ESO.'"
ESO is an abbreviation for the MMORPG I've pretty much made my life. Its official title is "Empire Sweeper Online." I enter Bazellad – that's the name of the world in ESO – pretty much every day, to the point of depriving myself of sleep. Deans Valley is the name of an area that appears in ESO, and only aggravating monsters show up there. For all that they come at you with sickening special attacks, they don't drop any good items. The guys who hunt in Deans Valley are idiots. Upper level players quickly call it quits and head into the nearby Liate forest.
Naturally, I did the same.
"That's why a city like this, full of delinquents and people who use love for capitalism, should hurry up and destroy itself. But this room brings it down to a level I can handle. That's because it has a top-of-the-line computer and blazing internet connection.
"Well, it kind of makes a first-class place for a student. So I call it my base."
Nothing but me moves in this room. Becoming aware of how dumb it was to go on talking to myself, I decided to stop my little my self-introduction for "whoever was watching me."
"Ugh, for all that, it's a really dirty room."
The room smelled of something rotting. I could feel the stagnancy of the air on my skin. Empty plastic bottles and the containers of already-eaten convenience store lunches lay scattered across the floor. There were ero-game packages piled on top of the bed. Thanks to them, I ended up sleeping on the sofa mostly.
"I should really clean up the place. Who the hell would leave such a-? Oh yeah – that'd be me. Ehehe."
I was starting to get a little irritated at my own repulsive way of laughing. I took my frustration out on one of the plastic bottles laying at my feet. It rebounded and looked about to come flying at the shelf where my figures were lined up, which led to me raising a scream and hastily straining to catch it. I couldn't let any harm come to my nearly 100+ brides, sisters, and daughters. These girls are the precious existence that heals my heart.
It's their shelf alone that I make sure to tidy up once a week. I investigate things like the angles from which they look the cutest and where they should stand on a daily basis. And, not wanting my darling baby sisters and daughters to get dirty, I never neglect to dust them.
Taking a relieved breath, I threw the empty bottle into a corner of the room and turned back to my PC.
My personal computer is enshrined at the farthest-back part of the room. Next to the monitor is Seira-tan (1/8 scale, pre-awakening ver.), a figure from my current favourite anime, Burachu – "Blood Tune the Animation" – striking a moe pose and smiling at me.
"Seira, Seira, you're so cute."
Murmuring that after meeting her eyes, I grabbed a bottle of cola from beside my computer and drank it down. It was lukewarm, but I didn't really care.
"All right, 'gotta get back to ESO-ing."
Settling down in my chair, I put both hands on the keyboard. It's the only thing that calms me down.
My character in ESO, "Knight-hart," is a paladin that's already gone through every level and then reincarnated back to the 1st level twice. Obviously, he's currently at the max level, 50. It's the highest rank you can get in any of the valid servers. Most people recognize me just from the nickname "Lightning-fast Knight-hart." They all treat me like a god.
I've completed all the rare weapons, rare armour and rare magic. My rare items completion percentage is 95%... Well, it's a bit of an uphill battle. I could never use all the moneypoints I have. I make pocket money through RMT – Real Money Trade – I could live like this for half a year without needing to do any part-time work.
I'm really good a chatting. I take care of all my basic communication this way. I've even helped other players out at the huge, anonymous message board " channel." I participate in epic threads a lot too.
Oh yeah, that's right: in "Furepara" – a social networking service, you know – my friends list passed the 100-person mark ages ago.
Respect,
Trust,
It's all right here.
I don't go to school. It's not that I don't want to go, it's that there's no point in going. I can get all my studying done online. Studying at home is enough. But it seems that you've 'gotta have this thing called sufficient credits to graduate, so I spend the absolute minimum amount of time at school that I have to.
That's the smartest way to survive as a student.
My parents always complain about it. Which is why I created an ideal "minimum attendance shift chart" for myself.
According to the chart, if I go 2.5 times a week I'll be fine. The guys who go to school every day call me an otaku freak and look down on me, but from my perspective, the ones who stop thinking for themselves and just go to school as they're told are the real morons.
In any case, my lifestyle here ain't so bad.
Grim: Hey! Knight-hart! What's up? You're not replying, you fall asleep or something?
Oh, crap. I got all worked up about "the gaze" and completely forgot that I was chatting with Grim.
Grim's a friend I always team up with in ESO. We've never really met IRL, but we always talk online. On top of that, Grim brings me all kinds of valuable news. He's almost like some sort of information broker.
Seated in my chair, I started typing.
Knight-hart: My bad, my bad. Not so much fallen asleep as just spaced out, lol
Grim: You must be pretty tired
Grim: Not enough sleep?
Grim: You too busy with your girl? lol
Grim: Up late every night
Knight-hart: I'm not interested in 3-D girls, haha.
Grim and I talk about everything. We're not face to face, so I feel at ease talking about almost anything.
But in real life…. That's not the case.
Grim: Then you mean the 2-D world
Grim: Eroge?
Knight-hart: Everything always seems to be about ero with you, lol
Grim: Come on, isn't it you who's always fantasizing about ero stuff?
Grim: You were just all pumped up talking about it
Grim: Schoolgirls in swimsuits, heh
Knight-hart: Oh ya?
Knight-hart: Don't remember too well—
Knight-hart: But anyway
Knight-hart: If that's what we're talking about, lemme whip out my pet theory
Knight-hart: A school swimsuit + glasses is the obvious default
Knight-hart: And here's a bit of trivia. The key part of a school swimsuit is the nametag on the chest
Knight-hart: Also, the swimsuit has to be navy blue! I won't accept anything else
Grim: Hey! rofl
Grim: You wan ?!
Knight-hart: A school swimsuit with glasses: that's the key
Knight-hart: Normally you take off your glasses if you're wearing a swimsuit
Knight-hart: But in the end, she doesn't!
Knight-hart: That's the part that spurs on my fantasies
Grim: Your libido's at full throttle. Ha, well, that's what makes you Knight-hart
Grim: It leaves me in shock, but also have a strange attraction to it-! lol
Knight-hart: Don't phrase it with stuff like "but also"
Knight-hart: I got a little overheated there, but
Knight-hart: I'm aiming to be a cool type of character
Grim: COOL! LOL
Knight-hart: Don't laugh!
Knight-hart: So, what were we talking about before I dozed off?
Well, whatever the case, we were probably exchanging ESO-related news.
Grim: Hey, hey, don't forget like that
Grim: There've been some stuff going on in the 3-D world recently
Like what?
What do you mean?
Shogun has entered the room
Current members: 3
Grim: Nice to meet you, Lord Shogun! (^_^)v
Knight-hart: Yo
I tried greeting him, but "Shogun" didn't reply.
…..wft, is he ignoring me?
Despite the fact that I went out of my way to be friendly. Does he know who I am? Is he acting this rude regardless?
Dude, I am Lightning-fast Knight-hart. It's illegal to enter one of these chat rooms in the first place if you're just going to lurk.
Whatever, I don't give a shit.
This is what's nice about the Net. There's no need to involve yourself with pointless interpersonal relationships.
Knight-hart: So, what was it? Grim
Grim: I'm talking about those recent incidents
Knight-hart: I don't know about anything going on in the third dimension
Knight-hart: Anyway, it's gotta be something stupid, no?
Grim: More or less, heh
Grim: But it's still pretty shocking
Shocking…. So that means a gory murder or something must have happened. It has been more dangerous around here recently.
Knight-hart: You're not gonna bring up guro pics again, are you?
Grim: You really can't handle guro, haha
Knight-hart: It's not like that
No, I really don't want to see it. But lately there have been a lot of composites and other 'shopped pictures' around. They're set up as traps in lots of different places, and if I get tricked by one, I end up looking whether I want to or not.
"We, well, I might've gotten a little desensitized…."
Grim: Even though you're the strongest paladin in Bazellad, lol
Knight-hart: I don't PK
PK is an abbreviation for Player Kill. It refers to the dicks who take part in a certain kind of delinquent behaviour, killing unrelated people in Net games and stealing their equipment and money points.
Knight-hart: I don't do stuff that childish
Knight-hart: Since it goes against my policy
Knight-hart: If not breaking ESO's rules
….But I do Real Money Trading right and left. Hehehe.
Grim: K, calm yerself on down, bold hero. Haha
Grim: New Gen
Grim: Do you know it?
Knight-hart: ?
New Gen? What's that? We haven't covered this yet, have we? Although Grim referred to it like it'd be natural for me to know it.
Knight-hart: What is it?
Grim: The New Generation of madness. Online, it's been shortened to New Gen.
Grim: It's what they are calling a string of mysterious incidents that've been happening in Shibuya
Grim: They're all happening in your neighbourhood, heh
Ah, now that you mention it, I kind of remember something about an accident…. But I just vaguely knew about it, and hadn't bothered to check the details.
When I tried searching "New Gen," I got some hits right away.
"Let's see….
"The two incidents that have occurred in Shibuya this past month are collectively being called 'New Gen'…. Including a foetus, there have been seven victims.
"The first case involved five friends who took part in a group dive from a high-rise building…. In the second case, a foetus was stuffed into a man's body…. Whoa, you serious…."
A chill went down my spine.
Before I knew it, I'd turned to look around my room again.
There were plenty of links to older New Gen news on Taboo!, so I went ahead and started skimming them.
The New Generation madness: such are the incidents that have been causing a stir on the Net day after day. Two instances of this have already occurred. One featured such a brutal method of killing that there were TV channels that forbore to express the criminal's behaviour in words. Apparently, there are also rumours that the initial diving accident might also have been a homicide.
All of the dead five's parents and friends declare that "There's no way s/he would ever commit suicide. I can't come up with so much as a trace of a motive." Additionally, circumstantial evidence makes it difficult to think that they were attempting suicide.
Knight-hart: I took a quick look
Grim: And? Did it freak you out?
Knight-hart: Not really. It's not like it interests me
Grim: data/img/11841554610003. jpg
Grim: lol, take a look
Knight-hart: What's this?
Grim: A photo of one of the victims' corpses
"Grim, you ass, you're having fun at my expense here…."
He does this kind of thing once in a while. But if I hesitated, it'd hurt my reputation as Bazellad's Knight-hart. Setting aside real life, when it comes to ESO, I'm a god. I'm the strongest. I'm a knight of justice who knows everything and is stronger than anyone. Like I'd let him make a fool of me.
I mustered my courage and clicked the URL.
What, so it's just a shitty doodle. A rag doll dude with boggle eyes and thin crosses squiggled all over it.
Knight-hart: Hahaha, you got me
Knight-hart: Who drew this? Lol
Grim: *waves hand*
Grim: I drew it a little before. Took two minutes.
Knight-hart: A prodigy has appeared, lol
Grim: Now that things've calmed down, I'm gonna hit the sack
Knight-hart: Later
Grim: See you tomorrow in Bazellad
Grim has left the room
Current members: 2
Come to think of it, that Shogun guy was still here. I'd completely forgotten about him, not that it mattered either way. I wasn't that sleepy, so I thought I'd do a bit of hunting in ESO or something. Ah, speaking of which, Burachu broadcasts today!
There's no TV in my room. I get everything done on my PC.
"Another fifteen minutes, huh? Maybe I'll go to the bathroom or something first."
Spotting Seira-tan next to my monitor, I grinned. Today I'll be able to see Seira-tan. It's something I always looks forward to….
As I thought that, I was just about to close the chat window, when-
Shogun: bbs/images/168491. jpg
"Huh….?" Shogun posted something, "Wh, what's with this guy posting after being silent for so long…."
He wasn't a faithful lurker? Going by the file extension, it looked like a link to an image, but…. A sudden link from someone suspicious, a person I didn't know, and on top of that, one who hadn't posted a single thing before. Without thinking, I gulped down a breath.
What was going on? I'd never felt this kind of horrible premonition before, in all my time on the Net. Of course, I didn't want to click it.
I clicked my tongue and looked at the clock. Twelve minutes until my promised time with Seira-tan. It'd be a good idea to cut off the conversation right away.
Knight-hart: Haha, look, are you trying to use Zhuge Liang's trap here? lol
Shogun: "The world changes if you click it."
Knight-hart: Whoa…. wait, haha, what's with the English? lol
I tried my best to sound like I was joking around, to make it seem like I had plenty of relaxation to spare.
Truthfully, I didn't want to chat with some guy I didn't know. I was nervous and it made me sweat. That's to say nothing of the fact that if this Shogun person wasn't Japanese, there'd be no way to deal with him.
Shogun: Sorry I surprised you
Hey, he started talking to me normally…. My mind was put to rest a little.
Knight-hart: Nah, no prob
Knight-hart: Why were you lurking? Someone tell you to go f-off and lurk for half a year?
Shogun: I was thinking
Knight-hart: Where are you chatting from?
For some reason, there was a weird gap.
Shogun: Shibuya
"…"
A vision of the New Gen incidents sprung to the front of my mind. They were gory enough with someone like me envisioning them, so in reality, they must not have been something you could bear to look at straight on.
A man's torn stomach. The foetus that was horribly stuffed in the hole.
When the five who dove from that high-rise hit the ground, they must've gotten so badly messed up that there would be no way to tell what they really originally looked like….
Just imagining it made me feel sick to my stomach. I hastily shook my head to get rid of the gruesome delusions.
This Shogun guy is so suspicious to of made me think about all that stuff. I got seriously caught up in it.
Knight-hart: ( ·∇· ) ᴥ ( ·∇· ) I'm in Shibuya, too
Knight-hart: Seems like a lot of strange incidents have happened lately
Shogun: They're still happening
Knight-hart: Shibuya ((((;* Д* ))) *shudder*
Shogun: fun^10 X int^40 = Ir2
"What's this?"
Was he just a freak or what?
I've said I'm smart, but I'd never seen the formula he posted out of the blue. I tried searching for it, just in case. At times like this, it's easiest if you just run a search.
"….Huh, no hits."
Could it be that he simply typed in some random, made-up formula to make himself seem intelligent? I didn't get it.
Shogun: This equation has killed the world's possibilities
Knight-hart: I don't follow you
Knight-hart: More importantly, what's the link from before?
Knight-hart: Would I get more out of it if I played along and clicked it? lol
Shogun: I thought you might be interested
Shogun: bbs/images/168492. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168493. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168494. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168495. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168496. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168497. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168498. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168499. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168500. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168501. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168502. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168503. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168504. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168505. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168506. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168507. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168508. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168509. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168510. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168511. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168512. jpg
Shogun: bbs/images/168513. jpg
"…"
Countless URLs went up at an incredible speed.
What's going on with this guy…. Is he getting his kicks by intimidating me? Maybe he's a friend of Grim, working together to pull the wool over my eyes?
"…"
"Sensing "the gaze" again, I looked around my room. Naturally, though, all that was there was the room's unchangingly dim and messy interior. An unidentifiable terror. Since it was already normal for me to feel like I was being watched, I couldn't get myself to calm down.
"Don't look at me."
When I tried putting it into words, I realized that my voice was shaky. My familiar, messy room felt like something altogether different. It's said that after you watch a fear-mongering TV program, or go to a horror movie, or hear a scary story from your friend, the careless air of your own house, which you should be used to, becomes so frightening that you can't go to the bathroom by yourself late at night.
Right now, I'm having a similar experience.
"D, dammit, like I'll let myself be taken in by this troll…"
Shaken up, and leaning in toward my monitor, I-
Without thinking, I put pressure into my right index finger and clicked on one of Shogun's links.
"Aah! Wait…."
Honestly, I don't know why I did it. It's not that my hand moved on its own or anything. "Without thinking" doesn't describe it at all. It was possible for me to regard it as a pure mistake, but the motion of clicking had come to me all but naturally.
"Uuh, wha, what's this…."
What filled the monitor's screen was a photograph of an objet d'art. Something like the spikes of a hedgehog or a needle-stuffed flower arranging tool was stuck to a wall in the shape of a cross. A reddish black puddle had formed underneath the giant flower-arranging tool, with its needles sticking out all over. And I couldn't make them out, but there were also a number of small, garbage-like lumps strewn around.
Seriously, what was this? The work of some puffed-up, self-proclaimed avant-garde artist?
They show up a lot, those people who create gory-looking works and unabashedly say, "It expresses the chaos of the world." I had no intention of coming to understand that kind of moronic art….
Still, it was a mysterious image. It wasn't directly guro. It only reached the point of having a guro-esque sense to it. Despite that, why did it feel so raw to me? Why did it give off such a strong presence?
Is it possible to hallucinate the scent of blood entering your nose, enough to make you choke?
Is it possible to experience an illusionary smell so vivid that it brings about nausea?
A stabbing pain struck my temples. My nausea wouldn't stop.
"Uuh, uu…"
I desperately tried to grab the mouse, but my hand was shaking, and it didn't go well. I was so frantic that I failed to grasp it, and it slipped off the desk, dragging only its cord behind it. I reeled in the cord, set it back on the mousepad, and closed the window.
And what leapt into my relieved sight was—
Whose eyes are those eyes
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
I glared at my self-titled "minimum attendance shift chart." Yesterday, I didn't get to watch Bucharu in real time. But after that, I watched it on MewTube, so it wasn't a real problem. Even after watching it something still felt wrong. What Shogun said right before I closed the chat window… It was almost as if he'd seen through the fact that I cowered in fear of "God's gaze." It was too much for a mere coincidence.
Maybe my personal information was leaked on ESO. Maybe it was someone who didn't like Knight-hart. I thought about the different possibilities. A god-like existence like mine has many allies, but also many enemies. Well, the enemies were basically a kind of side effect of the popularity. Of course they'd be there. People who envied Knight-hart's strength and popularity childishly tried to provoke me. It was just a matter of ignoring them.
But this was different.
The fact that I had no clue who Shogun was worried me to the point where when I logged into ESO, I couldn't concentrate on hunting at all. On top of that, today was….
"The worst possible day…."
It was a School Day. According to my "minimum attendance shift chart", I had to go. I really didn't want to, but if I didn't go by my "minimum attendance shift chart", my calculations would get messed up, and in the worst case scenario, I might have to repeat a year.
"Even though I'm sleepy…." I fought off a yawn and trudged off toward school. It takes about ten minutes to walk from my base to school.
My mood sank lower soon after I started walking. My body felt heavy, it was hard to breathe, and I started to sweat. It's always like this when I go to school.
Why do I have to go to school? It's such a painful event. Muttering balefully to myself, I kept moving forward all the same, head down watching the asphalt's white line.
I entered Shoutou Park. The school is right on the other side. Housewives took their morning walks, and salary men sat on the benches reading sports newspapers around the park's pond. Even though Shibuya was so crowded and noisy, the park on the outskirts was quiet and perfectly fit the expression, "a place for relaxation." I sat down on one of the benches too.
On the way to school, it was a habit of mine to eat breakfast while gazing at the surface of the pond brimming with serene water. It was a nice time of year and the trees were gradually gaining colour. Today's menu was some breakfast bread I'd bought at a convenience store along the way. It would be enough to tide me over until night. I wouldn't normally eat lunch. No one wanted to eat lunch with a creepy otaku like me, and I had no interest in eating lunch by myself while everyone around me merrily ate together.
After finishing my cream-filled bread with some Coke, I gazed listlessly up at the sky. Somehow, the skies of Shibuya always appear drab. It doesn't matter what season it is. The sky doesn't change. My parents' house was only a few stations down along a river, but there's a distinctly different feeling between there and here. That said, I kinda liked the dullness of the sky. Although I really don't know why.
I glanced at my watch to check the time. If I didn't get going soon, I'd be late. I had to avoid that at all costs. As someone who only goes to school 2.5 times a week, I couldn't do anything to make myself stand out. In any case, it was important to just be there, kinda like the air. To safely and peacefully make it through the day without catching the eyes of teachers or any delinquent types, and without having anyone interfere with me…. That was the goal of my school life.
I "attend" Suimei Private Academy. It doesn't have much of a history; I hear it was founded about ten years ago. The building is neat and trim-looking, and a lot of TV dramas about teaching are shot there. The uniforms were apparently designed by a famous designer, so quite a few of the girls are airheads who entered the school just because they wanted to wear the uniform.
It's ostensibly a prep school, but the percent of people who continue on to college is at the upper-middle level. Hilariously enough, they use the blurb "a free, creative school atmosphere" as a selling point for new students, regardless of the fact that the school regulations are very strict. Although the rules are in the process of becoming rules only in name. Besides, it isn't entirely off the mark to describe it as a free, creative school atmosphere I guess. After all, someone like me, who only comes 2.5 times per week, can keep rising to the next grade like anyone else.
As might have been expected, when I reached the front of the school, the other students on their way there started getting noisy. But since I'm not so good with crowds, I hunched over as I passed through the school gates.
In my heart, I went on fervently reciting, "No one talk to me. No one talk to me." over and over. My little sister, whose one year younger, goes to this school too, but she lives with my parents. A day when I run into her is a tragic day indeed. Luckily, today I managed to get to my classroom without encountering her and in one piece.
I quickly took my seat, so as not to meet anyone's eyes. I had the feeling that the group of girls chatting nearby tossed me a look, but it was only for a second, and they went back to their conversation without saying anything. They, deep down, viewed me as a creep, no doubt about it. Hmph, from my point of view, 3-D girls are far more creepy. It's fine by me if they think I'm a creep. If they don't notice I'm here all the better. If they just do that, then I'll go on living in silence, without giving them any trouble. I often wonder what's wrong with the people who call me "creepy." I don't get it. It almost seems like they want the attention of the people they're calling creeps.
I was in my seat, just hunched over my desk staring at its surface….
"Yo, Taku!"
Suddenly, someone smacked me lightly on the back. It startled me and I raised my head.
"Today is a school-going day for you?"
"Mi, Misumi-kun…." My classmate, Misumi Daisuke-kun, was giving me a grin.
He was pretty good looking and all the girls seemed to like him. He himself openly declared how much he liked women, and for him to say he was dating several people at once. From my perspective, he was a guy who'd jumped fully into delinquent territory. If possible, I'd have preferred to not have any connection with him at all, but….
"You always look down. Too much gaming and not enough sleep?"
"N, not really…."
He was the only person in the entire class who talked to me. I wonder why he always started talking to me? Our hobbies and personalities aren't even slightly similar. It had been on my mind since we became classmates this year. If, hypothetically, I were a girl, I would kind of understand. But, being a guy, I don't know why he talked to me.
"I guess there's no avoiding it, you are a hikikomori, but come on, try answering a little more cheerfully."
If I could, I'd have done so a long time ago. It was almost painful for me to talk to 3-D human beings. Anxiety keeps my voice from coming out properly. Since I don't normally talk too much, I can't articulate myself well through speech, and I shrink back because I'm scared I might say something stupid and be made fun of. I wish people wouldn't talk about stuff like they know nothing about. They have no clue how hard it is for me.
Oh, but I'm no hikikomori. A hikikomori is someone who shuts himself up in his room 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. I'm different.
"Being nervous around chicks is one thing, but you act like that around me, and people are gonna think I'm a homo."
"W, what?..." Hold up, he really doesn't like girls, and he's really into guys…?!
In a hurry to put some distance between us, I pulled away. I almost fell out of my chair. Flustered, I had to grab my desk.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Mi, Misumi-kun, are you gay….?"
Misumi-kun's face transformed to brief shock.
"Haa? Like hell I am! Have you forgotten how I am about the ladies?"
"O, oh, yeah. Haaa…. You scared the crap out of me…."
"By the way…." Misumi-kun quickly checked out our surroundings, grinned, and lowered his voice, "Yesterday, I got my hands on my third girl from this class. Wanna know who?"
"Tha, that's okay. Not really…."
"C'mon, show some more interest. It was Tanaka. I'm telling you man, Tanaka."
"….Who's Tanaka?"
"It's almost October, and you still don't know your classmates names? But I guess that's natural, since you're not interested in the third dimension." Exasperated, he shrugged his shoulders and let out a sigh.
However, up until the present, he had never once belittled me for my hobby – that is, the fact that I love 2-D characters. He didn't call me "creepy" or anything. It wasn't to his tastes, so he didn't overstep himself. Looking at that side of him, he didn't seem like such a bad guy. This might have been why I unintentionally fell into conversations with him whenever he started talking to me.
"With this, I've finished capturing practically all the cute girls in our class. I'm thinking that it's about time to expand my hunting grounds to the class next door."
…Maybe he isn't that good of a guy after all.
If the girls overheard this, I think they'd be appalled.
"I hear there's a real hottie in Class D, but she only comes to school every once in a while. Somehow, doesn't the thought of that get you moe'd up? Ah, but in your case it's more like the warm and fuzzy kind of moe than the getting fired up kind of moe."
….I wish people wouldn't toss around the word moe without knowing what it means.
"Well, let's stop talking about stuff you aren't into.
"Sooo, you heard about that New Gen thing?"
Honestly, it surprised me to hear those words coming out of his mouth. I had thought he was a person who didn't think about anything other than women. I couldn't picture him watching the news or reading the paper.
"According to the rumours, the group dive case was murder, too."
"I, is that so…."
"I'm not joshing you. It was written in the sports newspaper."
So his source was a sports newspaper…. Would that make it completely unreliable? Besides, I'd already heard that news, not that it had caught my interest.
"So, listen and be amazed, will you? An eyewitness reports that the killer is female, and on top of that, a real beauty."
"A female…."
As I watched Misumi-kun tell me this excitedly, the dots finally connected. I saw why Misumi-kun had suddenly started reading the sports paper, which he normally wouldn't have given the time of day. It had to do with a girl. I guess you could call this a natural development.
Would he be cool with a murderer, so long as she was cute…? Speaking for myself, I'd be okay with that if she were a 2-D character, but…. Misumi-kun cast his eyes at the blue sky beyond the window. His face took on a far-off look. Why's he looking like he just achieved enlightenment or something?
"I wonder what kind of person the culprit is? Is she really a hottie? I wanna see her and find out…."
Just now, I became certain of the fact that this is a guy who lives solely through the lower half of his body.
"I'm confident that she won't kill me, at least. After all, look, I'm a pretty cool guy, right? She might be a serial killer, but once she meets me, she'll fall in love on the spot, man."
That's why you won't get killed….? The frivolity of his train of thought whooshed clear over my expectations. I reeled back from the Misumi-kun who proved himself able to say such a thing breezily and without hesitation.
"I, I'm…. Not into that, so…."
"But hey, whether or not it catches your interest, the perp is deeeefinately wandering around the area, you know? You might end up crossing paths with her somewhere."
What if Misumi-kun were the killer? No, I could certainly rule that much out, but I couldn't completely deny the possibility that it was one of the students here…. If that were the case, maybe I should say, "I have post-traumatic stress disorder," to manoeuvre my way into graduating even with insufficient attendance.
"Look, wanna come check out the crime scene with me today? We can get there by walking from here. Sounds like there's still blood and stuff left over."
I had absolutely zero interest in doing so. All I wanted was to peacefully and safely take my classes, hurry up and go home, greet my Seira-tan, and return to the world where I can become a god.
"Kobayashi and Hasegawa say they've already been there to see it."
"I'm not into that kind of thing, really…."
I felt bad for turning down Misumi-kun, who was getting so into it, but I couldn't go along with this. So I squeezed out my voice with the intention of somehow refusing him, but he wouldn't listen.
"Then we might have a surprise run-in with the perp. Isn't it often said that the criminal returns to the scene of the crime? And, you'll be her next target. Repay your sins with death, that kind of thing. As for the nature of your offense, let's see…. How about because you're a shut-in?"
"…"
Of course there was no reason for me to want to see blood or anything. That kind of thing is too terrifying. It wasn't a haunted mansion-type attraction or a horror film; people were being killed in real life, and the perpetrator still hadn't been caught. I didn't want to go anywhere that might be even a tiny bit dangerous. Even so, I found myself wondering about the New Gen criminal's motive. Were the incidents pleasure killings by someone with a couple screws loose in his or her head? It might be the most fitting to think along those lines.
Well, whatever. It had nothing to do with me.
By the way, I'm also a mass murderer. Despite having killed so many, I'm treated like a hero nevertheless. Inside ESO, that is. Heh heh heh. That comparison alone is enough to prove that the 2-D world is unquestionably better than the real world.
While frantically turning down Misumi-kun's invitation, I internally pictured myself throwing one straight punch after another. "A murderer, you say? I'd smash a guy like that to pieces the second I met 'im." By sinking into delusions like that, I was capable of killing or saving anyone. Someone who tried to enact it in real life would be a pure idiot, for not thinking about the consequences. Even the New Gen killer would have to get caught pretty soon. And after being put in jail for several decades, they'd get executed.
I wanted to tell that killer: ….Aaa-ah, if only you'd stuck to doing it in your imagination, and left it at that.
NEGATIVE delusion
I went out to buy dinner. I was on the road to the neighbourhood convenience store I usually frequent. It's about three minutes from my base by foot. Familiar scenery. A filthy street. But unlike any other day, today I was attacked by a peculiar sensation that I had gotten lost in a different world altogether. Although the scenery itself hadn't changed, it was as if I were setting foot in this place for the first time.
Apparently, this is called jamais vu. I've looked it up online before. Also, the rotten stench of garbage was floating in the air. The seeping moisture that clung to my skin was enough to make me mistakenly think it was raining. The air seemed to paste itself to me.
With a brief glance, I saw that something had fallen at the end of the grimy road.
"…"
At first, it looked like a regular convenience store bag with garbage or something inside it. That was why I went on walking toward it without thinking much of it.
When I was several meters away…. I realized it was the corpse of a cat.
"Urgh…."
Blood and excreta ran from it as it lay on the ground, and I hurriedly averted my eyes. Revulsion making my skin shudder with goose bumps, I turned on my heel.
There was a cat over there, too. A living black cat. It's golden eyes, floating up out of the darkness, were watching me.
"….Wh, what's going on…." When I spoke, the cat nimbly leapt away, vanishing into the shadows.
Something about it gave me a bad feeling. I'd better hurry up and head to the convenience store. But I couldn't use this road. The cat's body kept me from passing through. I had no choice but to take a detour.
….I noticed it as I was about to start walking. I had started getting the sense that I could hear a weird sound….
I jerkily sucked in my breath and listened intently.
Hammer….. Nail…. Hammer….. Nail…. Hammer….. A cat's cry-
"… I, I'm no hikikomori…." Offended by how Misumi-kun had put it, I started to protest.
But when I began to question what I would do if my saying that made him dislike me and bully me, and in the end I only swallowed my words. I bit my lip and turned my face away from Misumi-kun.
My line of sight wandered aimlessly, and I gazed vaguely at the words written on the chalkboard. At first…. I had no interest in what it said. All I recognized was the fact that "words had been drawn there."
But as I gazed at it, an odd discomfort rose up inside of me.
"Eh….?" I had already sprung up from my chair, "Mo, move out of the way….!"
"Ow-w-w, oi, what's wrong?"
Pushing Misumi-kun out of the way, I went up to the chalkboard. Seeing the letters written there, I…. Fell into the illusion that, for an instant, my heart seized up as though someone had squeezed it.
Whose eyes are those eyes?
….Whose eyes are those eyes?
Those were the words I often murmured in my heart when I sensed "God's gaze." I'd never let them out of my mouth. I had no one to speak them to. I'd never even said it to Misumi-kun. There was no way anyone in this class knew that I often used those words.
Why….
Who….
To what end….?
I whipped around and looked about the classroom. The only one paying attention to my behaviour was Misumi-kun. All the others were eagerly jabbering to their friends, or reading manga that they were forbidden to bring here in the first place, or plastered flat against their desks and sleeping.
Who was it….?
Who wrote this?
When did they write it?
Had it already been written there back when I first entered the classroom? I couldn't remember…. Normally I'm not all conscious of what's written on the chalkboard.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Walking up to me, Misumi-kun grabbed my shoulder and shook me, "You listening? O—I, Taku?"
"…"
Wh, whoever had written it, it surely had nothing to do with me. Obviously it was just a coincidence…. Commonly used words like these…. It was just a stupid, pointless piece of graffiti…. That had to be the case….
I tried to make myself think that way, but no matter what, I was still uneasy. Ultimately, things would end without my knowing who'd written it. If I could, I'd want to go around the class and ask everyone, but I lacked the courage. Homeroom started while I was still preoccupied with that, and the graffiti got swiftly erased when out teacher said "Okay, who did it~, who drew on the board~?"
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
Somehow, I had an eerie feeling, but I aimed to comfort myself as usual. If I let it scare me, that would be the same as acknowledging the fact that it was some kind of message related to me. Which was impossible. It was a mere coincidence. Telling myself that over and over again, I followed my plans and headed for a net café on the way back from school.
As I hated going out, " Café" was my sole amusement spot. It was located at the edge of Shibuya's shopping district, and as such, many of its customers were delinquent 3-D girls or bleary salary men. But all the rooms were meant for individual use, so it wasn't a problem.
By the way, the room I was currently in – Room 37 – had been reserved for my use, and it was placed in the furthest-back part of the store. It was inconvenient for going to get juice refills, but because not many people went into nearby seats, it was relatively quiet. I went out of my way to come here once or twice a week on the way back from school, in order to log on to ESO with a different ID. In other words, it was like taking a break. Knight-hart was a little too well known. I didn't mind that, but having to be a paragon of heroic behaviour day after day was pretty stressful.
The one I use over here is a female character called "Liselotte." However, Liselotte's battle history was pretty terrible. I only used her to make those around her look better in comparison. Today, too, I realized my stress by playing for about three laid-back hours. Afterward, I chatted with my guild friends for a while, getting worked up over stupid and/or ero topics.
It was close to 9pm when I left the store. Around this time of night, there tends to be an especially large number of juvie types in the shopping district. I got the urge to vomit when I saw them sitting here and there along the road like it belonged to them, or grinning crudely while eating fast food hamburgers. If I made the mistake of meeting their eyes, those imbeciles would soon react by attacking me. What savages….
People like that aren't human beings. They're just males and females. They don't have a single fragment of social intelligence. Guys like that should go die. Seriously, they should go off and die. It's what I kept thinking, but when you got down to it, it was pointless to respond to them. So I planned to hastily remove myself from the shopping district.
It took me a little out of my way, but after leaving " Café," it was my routine to stop by either the nearby "Mangadarake" or "Animeight" stores. Deciding I would go to "Animeight" today, I headed for the subways southern entrance. When you come this way, the number of delinquents sharply decreases. The central district was seriously chaotic. Just walking there almost made it hard to breathe. If it were possible, I wouldn't want to take a single step closer.
I want it all to get destroyed, leaving behind only " Café" and "Mangadarake."
Now then, I'll trawl through the comics and doujinshi today as well. Ah, come to think of it, pre-orders for the fifth Burachu DVD should be opening soon, shouldn't they?
Before I knew it, I was standing on the narrow street in the Maruyama area that I always use to get back to my base Animeight. I blinked multiple times. I took a peek inside my bag. Several textbooks and a gaming-enabled cellphone were the only things inside. I hadn't bought anything at Animeight today. Despite the fact that I always buy something there, without fail. I let out a sigh and began walking again. From here, it would take less than 15 minutes to get back to my base.
Merely moving a little ways away from the station was enough to make the dazzling lights and neon vanish, and the presences of other people grow scarce. If I had to put it one way or the other, it wasn't very active. At most I saw middle-aged couples on their way to the hotel district, and once in a while, a salary man returning to his nearby home. I had a hard time thinking that it was the same Shibuya as the shopping district, which overflowed with those delinquents.
It seemed that clouds had come out now that it was night, and the moon was hidden from view, making the road darker than usual.
"….The same thing again."
Familiar scenery. A filthy street. Yet I was attacked by the peculiar sensation that I had gotten lost in a different world altogether. Although the scenery itself hadn't changed, it was as if I were setting foot in this place for the first time. Also, the rotten stench of raw garbage was floating in the air. The seeping moisture that clung to my skin was enough to make me mistakenly think it was raining. The air seemed to paste itself to me.
"No, wait a second…."
….When was "again" referring to? When had I previously experienced jamais vu?
Dammit, reality and my delusions were getting mixed together. Now my thoughts were starting to resemble the stereotypical analysis offered by some sketchy expert on a TV variety show, weren't they? Anyway, I was certainly experiencing jamais vu at this very moment.
And, that wasn't all….
That prickling along the muscles of my neck. The sensation that someone was looking down on me from the heavens. It wasn't a hallucination. No matter how I sped up my pace, the "gaze" followed me wherever I went. Right now, someone was definitely watching me. The presence of the "gaze" was just that strong. I wanted to turn around. But in the end, I didn't.
This was a game I challenged myself with every once in a while. When I heard some small noise, even if I had the feeling that someone was watching me, I played the "It'll take more than that to make me turn around" game. If I turned around, I would lose.
The visions that usually appeared in my head when I sensed the gaze were ghosts with horrifying faces, monsters…. Things like that. Well, whatever the case, in these past 17 years, there wasn't a single instance of me turning around and actually finding something there. With that limited guarantee of safety attached to it, I came to enjoy this single-player game. I would listen carefully to the wind, raise one eyebrow and make a dubious face, trying to say manga-esque lines. Because the reason I didn't turn around wasn't because I was scared or anything.
"Y, you bastard, you're watching me. Whose eyes are those eyes? Just kidding "
I had meant to make an urgent show of my own nonchalance. But before I realized it, my feet had stopped.
Sensing a faint alteration in the strained air, I cowered. At some point, my face had become soaked with sweat, and my knees seemed about to start knocking. Unable to bear it any longer, I turned around.
I lost the game. But there was no one behind me, after all. There weren't even cars passing.
What was this sense of displacement….
"Ah…." The ringing in my ears stopped.
I noticed the sound only when it stopped. Up until then, I had been hearing a sound like my ears ringing. Up until then, I had completely failed to recognize the fact that they were ringing. And now, I heard nothing. A silence so sudden it seemed like a lie, especially smack in the middle of a city. I had the feeling that I should be able to hear any sounds out there with incredible clarity.
I shut my eyes tight and focused on my hearing.
But of course I heard nothing.
Strange. This was really strange…. Normally, I would surely hear things like trains running in the distance and car horns peeping….
Why….? Had something gone wrong with my ears? I wanted to shout out loud. I felt like I'd go crazy if I didn't. But I couldn't do it.
It was too quiet, and the thought that breaking this silence might bring about something terrible made me hesitate.
"…!" A single sound unexpectedly entered my soundless world.
When I glanced over, at the end of the dirty road lay fallen numerous "shining somethings." They were strewn about to cover the asphalt.
"….Crosses?"
The instant I recognized them as such, my feet, which before had refused to so much as twitch, spontaneously stepped forward. Upon picking up one of the scattered crosses, I found that it was made of metal, and its lengthy point sharpened into something like a needle.
….A stake? Or a nail? Because it was shaped strangely, I had mistaken it for a cross. I felt buoyant as I gripped the stake in my hand.
I could hear it…. The soft resounding sound of something or other. A chilly sound, one that made the muscles of my back freeze up. It came at me in intervals.
My feet wouldn't stop. I continued walking as though my consciousness were being sucked in that sound's direction. Was I being driven by morbid curiosity? Or was it because I wanted someone to save me? Because I wanted to be lifted out of that soundless world? This was turning out almost like a German folktale. How did it go…. That's right, the Pied Piper of Hamelin. Over one hundred children were lured away by the sound of his pipe.
The sound didn't stop. The unpleasant sound of something being hammered grew closer and closer as I continued forward. The sound was coming from the depths of a narrow alleyway to my left. If I turned the corner, I would discover its source. Why didn't I think of drawing back? The idea didn't even occur to me. It was as though I was being made to move by something outside me.
So I turned the corner. And what leapt into my eyes was….
Floating up out of the darkness. A brilliant red.
"…"
My first reaction was to think, "I've seen this objet d'art somewhere before." That, and, "It doesn't look real."
Some of the screws holding together my heart might have gotten blasted away: my senses might have gone numb. If I were my usual self, terror would have made me let out a pathetic scream, collapse, and urinate on the spot.
An objet d'art like a hedgehog of a bunch of flower-arranging needles. A myriad stakes kept it stuck to the wall. As I gazed mindlessly at it, I realized that a huge quantity of red blood was flowing from the mountain of stakes. The brilliant red I had initially seen was a puddle of blood. Lit by the weakened light of the streetlamps that just barely reached it, that red let off a slick lustre. Moreover, a bunch of shiny, flesh-like lumps that I couldn't identify were lying around.
I started to suck in my breath, but at some point my throat had dried up, and not a single drop of saliva ran down it.
I had realized.
That the thing pinned by the stakes…. Was a human corpse….
It was done too immorally. Too mercilessly. Too thoroughly. And the one who had done so. The one who had driven this many stakes into the concrete.
Was a single girl.
If I were to say how I knew that…. Because a girl gripping a bundle of stakes with scarlet-painted hands was, at this very moment, standing still in front of the "objet d'art." Since her back was facing me, I couldn't tell what kind of expression she was making. But the uniform she wore…. Was from Suimei.
The rotten garbage-like smell I had sensed earlier reached my nose more and more vividly, making nausea come at me in intervals. Unable to tolerate it, I covered my mouth and struggled to keep my stomach acid from bursting out. At that point, I finally remembered the origin of my jamais vu – the feeling that "I had seen this somewhere before."
"That one time…. The photo…. Shogun linked to….!"
I raised my voice without meaning to. Without realizing that such an action was fatal. At the sound of my voice, "Her" blood-dyed shoulders shivered.
And she slowly turned to face me….
Her strawberry-pink hair…cascading softly down her back….glimmered faintly with splashes of blood patching over it….
Her gaze pierced through me. Such dark eyes….
She had…. Killed somebody….
"Ah…" "She" looked at me, widening her eyes as though shocked, then shifted to a tearful smile and squeezed her voice out, "I'm…. So glad…." She murmured.
Glad? What was there to be glad about? More importantly, in a situation like this, why would she see me and smile? Her meaning was unclear. It was so unclear that something cold ran down my spine, and I hastily averted my eyes. I reflexively thought, "I don't want to get caught up in anything weird." I couldn't talk to real girls while looking them in the eye, and even setting that aside, she was unmistakably a murderer. The police would come soon, and I was hungry….
Right, that's why I should go home. I should leave right this second. If not, I'll…. Go insane….
"Taku…."
"?!"
"She" abruptly called my name. Even though it was the first time we'd met, and I hadn't given her my name.
"I wanted to see you."
As she watched me, her lips twisted in a horrifically fearless smile. Like those of a demon….
I screamed.
While screaming, I ran blindly. I went on yelling even as it became hard to breathe, and whatever happened, I desperately kept running. I turned just once to look behind me, but "She" hadn't come chasing after me.
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
I was running out of air. I could hear my own painful, ragged breathing…. I was sitting in front of my PC monitor. My whole body was drenched in sweat, and it had soaked through my clothes.
What had happened just now? Had I imagined it?
I was about to lose control of my nausea. To suppress it, I took some Coke out of the fridge and poured it in my mouth. It was a very real-seeming delusion, if I do say so myself, but way too guro. I still couldn't catch my breath. Would a delusion leave me without enough air? ….Like hell it would.
Something about my right hand felt out of place. I was gripping my fist so tightly that my fingers turned white. I had been utterly unaware I was doing it. My heart pounding, I relaxed my muscles and slowly opened my hand.
"Eee….!"
A single stake rested on the palm of my hand. Frightened, I flung it at the wall.
The stake from before….! I had definitely picked up one of the stakes strewn across the street. But why was it here? Hadn't that been a hallucination?! I don't understand, I don't understand, I don't understand. That's impossible, that's impossible, that's impossible.
Hugging my head, I stumbled aimlessly around my room. For starters, I had to find out whether the ghastly scene I'd witnessed just a little while ago had been reality or the product of my delusions. Or so I thought, but I stepped on a CD case that had fallen on the floor, and my foot slipped. I reached out, seeking something to grab onto, so as to keep myself from falling. What I grasped was the edge of the shelf where my wives were lined up.
Shit, I thought, but it was already too late. Unable to support myself, I collapsed on the floor. Above me, my prettily arranged figures came pouring down in huge numbers. Uuuh, goddammit…. This was as bad as it got. Everything was at its absolute worst…. I stood up, groaning, and checked to see whether my figures were safe.
"Urrgh-! My Ignis from "Jingai Makyou," her sword….!"
It had broken neatly in half. Despite the fact that I'd bought this in an online auction at a premium price!
"What the fuck is this! What the fuck is this shit?!"
I tried to sort the piece of the sword back together, but even if I could line up the broken parts, it would be impossible to completely restore it. With this, it had lost all its value.
"Give me a frigging break! D, dammit…."
Pissed off, I kicked at my chair. My eyes welled with tears. Why did this kind of thing have to happen to me? When did I ever do anything wrong? Plopping heartbrokenly in place, I spent some time looking at my swordless Ignis and getting depressed.
"…" When the storm of rage and confusion finished passing through me, "Her" face and the tableau of the "objet d'art" finally rose up at the back of my brain.
The fact that I still had the stake meant it had been reality, not my imagination. I didn't want to, but I had no choice but to acknowledge it. Tomorrow, no doubt, the mass media would be in an uproar. I definitely didn't want to get wrapped up in something like this. Make no mistake, I'd be ruined if I got involved with someone like "Her"…. No, rather, with that demon. I was already well on my way to self-destruction, to begin with. Because I'd brought home a deadly weapon, a precious piece of evidence. It wouldn't be odd for people to suspect me of being the perpetrator.
On top of it all…. On top of it all, that demon had seen my face…. I couldn't run away from this whole affair…. Next time…. The demon would come after me….
For now, I should put my thoughts in order…. For my own sake. For the sake of surviving, I had to get organized….
. The essay I wrote in elementary school was "Whose Eyes Are Those Eyes?"|
. The phrase "Whose eyes are those eyes?" appeared in my chat with Shogun|
. What's the meaning of Shogun's mysterious equation?|
. The guro photograph Shogun made me see|
. An encounter at the same murder scene as the photo|
. The mystery girl knew my name|
. "Whose eyes are those eyes?" was written on the chalkboard at school|
. Shogun = mystery girl|
. Mystery girl = murderer, demon|
"No question about it. That photo was like a message giving advance notice of the incident." If not, there was no way she would duplicate the killing so faithfully.
That girl must've begun by using composite photos to meticulously simulate the scene of the crime. And then onto the crime itself – although she'd probably call it her "work of art." That's what it means to be a psycho – she must have tried to carry everything out to perfection.
"….It's so messed up. But why show that to me…. Besides, how did she know I'm Knight-hart? How'd she find out my name?" Uuh, what should I do….
That demon would come to kill me soon, I knew it. If she knew my name and email, there was a strong chance that she'd also found out my address. Seated in my chair, I hugged my knees and buried my face in them. The abnormal killing method I'd seen yesterday. When I thought that I might be killed the same way, I couldn't keep my cool in the slightest.
"IDon'tWannaDie IDon'tWannaDie IDon'tWannaDie IDon'tWannaDie IDon'tWannaDie IDon'tWannaDie IDon'tWannaDie IDon'tWannaDie IDon'tWannaDie IDon'tWannaDie IDon'twannaDie-"
"Everything's okay." A bubbly voice suddenly rang out…. Almost as if echoing in the distance….
"Eh?"
Seira-tan lay in front of my monitor and smiled at me. Big, baby-blue eyes looking up at me. Her hair was as light and pink coloured as ever, cascading from under her hat and down nearly half of her slim, perfect frame.
"Takkii, you should shut yourself up here in this room. Then that demon won't be able to get her hands on you, right-o? In the meantime, the police will catch her for us Until then, you mustn't trust in anyone. You mustn't heed what anyone says. Demons, you know, they like using the gaps in people's hearts~ Being caught off-guard is a NO!
"You can do it, Takkii."
"But, Seira…."
"They say that running away is the same as winning. Forget all about the third dimension. Think of it as being totally unrelated to you, and things'll be easier, right-o? No point in thinking about things that have zero-zero to do with you
"I'll tell you something good. Hikikomori are the strongest, did you know? Cause they don't meet with anyone, right-o? That means no one attacks them. It's the strongest kind of self-defense. So Takkii, you should become a hikikomori. It's simple, right-o?"
"Th, that might be so…."
Well said. As expected from a wife of mine. Facing forward, I gently picked Seira-tan up by her slender waist. No matter how close I brought her to my face, she kept smiling without making a single expression of disgust.
"Thank you, Seira. Thanks to you, I've worked up my courage. That's right, the third dimension can eat shit. That demon doesn't care a whit about a creepy otaku like me. I'm secure. There'll be no problem if I feel relieved, and play ESO every day, and watch my favourite anime."
"But like I said before, you're not allowed to get caught off-guard!"
"Yeah, I know."
I won't trust in anyone. I won't listen to anyone. I'll be wary of everything about the third dimension. Do all that, and things would turn out okay.
"I'm happy you're so worried about me, Seira. Hehehe. Now then, how about some ESO-ing to get my mind off things?"
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
"Fly and cross Fly and cross Promise now—
"Fly and cross Fly and cross Because fulfilled—
"Fly and cross Fly and cross I unleashed—
"Fly and cross Fly and cross End…."
A clear voice resounded late at night, in Miyashita Park. A pedestrian bridge running across Meiji Highway. Cars passed by underneath it. Leaning against the bridge's railing, and showing no sign of being disturbed by the noise of the traffic, the girl they called FES was singing.
"Street cry of the illusion that leads to—"
There wasn't a single spectator. If she sang in the streets, over a hundred people would stop, wanting to hear more of her voice. But now FES was deliberately, peacefully letting her existence melt away into the curtain of night.
"This place hand in hand—"
She was content to simply stand quietly here in this place. By doing so, she might become one with the darkness and be released, if only for a second, from the tainted air of this city called Shibuya. That was the feeling FES had.
"With the hand to rest like you—"
FES glanced up at the night sky. Her shoulder length hair of sky-blue remained unmoved by the subtle motion. The clouds that had previously covered it in its entirety were clearing up, little by little, and a trace of moonlight shone through them. But the stars' hesitant winking was erased by Shibuya's blazing city lights.
"Yuku fall on behalf of the silence unawares Attendants light of the moonlit night has been shown to…."
FES closed her mouth and slowly raised her hand toward the sky, "Whose eyes are those eyes?"
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
Roughly a day later, I was still immersed in Bazellad. Depriving myself of time to eat, I single-mindedly focused on erasing Nishijo Takumi and existing as Knight-hart. In ESO, I was a god. There was no need to be frightened by demons. Everyone revered me. I always thought about how wonderful it would be if I could stay forever in such a comforting world.
"Whoa! Oh, oooooh! There's an Angel Halo here-! It's here! Ultra rare! Amazing! Hehehe!" I typed the message loud and clear on the chat box for everyone to see.
Knight-hart: ANGEL HALO HAS ARRIVED!11!1!1
"I, I've gotta hurry and up and use this…. Umm, equipment, equipment…
"Ooooh, my character's appearance changed! Amazing! This is wild! Hey, look look look, take a look, Grim! Hm?"
SW: Chill out, Knight-hart
GRIM: Chill out, Knight-hart
Silverfish-sis: Chill out, Knight-hart
"'Knight-hart, chill out?' Aaah, shut the hell up and die, you losers. Hehehehehe.
"Guess I'll head back to the city and show it off a bit."
"Bro~~~ooo!"
Having gotten my paws on an ultra-rare item I'd been searching for forever, I was in hyper mode. My depression had been completely blown away.
"Bro~ooo!"
I'm telling you, an Angel Halo is a phantasmical item with a drop rate of 0.0001%!
"Oooooi! Are you the~~~re?!"
Its only effect is to change your character's appearance, and it doesn't have any practical use. But on the flipside, since those around you could tell at a glance if you had one, you'd be the object of many envious stares.
"Bro~o~o~oo!"
"Hehehe, I did it…. Knight-hart's gotten another step closer to God!"
"Look here! O-PEN-UP-!"
What a racket. Who the heck's been pounding at my door?! So much for wallowing in the joy of snagging a rare item. Don't get in my way….
"Bro, you idiot-!"
"Geh…."
That voice…. I became dejected the second I heard that familiar voice. No doubt about it, the voice's owner was the assassin sent out by my parents – my little sister Nanami. This was going to be a headache.
"Things'll get real bad if you don't open it!"
S, shit…. A stormy period of time was about to start. I really didn't want to open it, but if I didn't, she'd run back to my parents, and they'd tell me, "You should give up on living alone, after all. Come back home…." This building's owner was, by and large, my dad, so he could put enough pressure on me to chase me out without so much as breaking a sweat.
Uuh, it doesn't get any more unreasonable than this….
"Bro~~~ooo~~~!"
Shuuutuuuuuuupp! Don't wail so loud….
She was still violently banging on the door from outside. The walls of my container housing were made up of a single sheet of iron plating, so sounds echoed around the room to an amazing extend. She knew that and was doing it on purpose. Helpless, I released the inner padlock and opened the door.
"Ah, you finally came out. I'm here to confirm your survival~ "
"…"
This loli-bodied runt is my little sister. One year younger. Her eyes are the only thing that resemble me as a sibling, since they're the same blue tint as my hair, and her hair is a light, hazel-brown stopping mid-back.
"At least give an answer when I call out to you. I started to think you might've dropped dead."
Every time we see each other, she starts complaining. As could be seen from how she stood with her hands on her hips and her head thrown back, she was a cheeky little brat. Her existence brought me a hundred disadvantages and not one bit of benefit.
"Uwah, your room's as dirty as usual. Clean it up a little, will ya?"
"…"
Nanami hopped on inside without obtaining my consent. It's because she's my little sister that she gets ahead of herself like this…. When I see those guys who moe over little sister types, I want to tell them at the top of my lungs: "You've gotta battle with the reality of it."
Well, sister or not, I didn't think she had a bad face. Her kind of childish-looking face might be smack in the strike zone for loli lovers. As her blood-related brother, though, none of that mattered. Rather, it made me think of her as being babyish. No way would I fap to her.
Ah, by the way, I don't mind the loli types. As long as they're 2-D. Hehehe.
"It stinks of mould~. Your room's still filthy. I'm always telling you to tidy up. Why don't you listen?"
"…"
"Well, it's not like you have a girlfriend to help you clean up, and you're the sloppy sort, so it was obvious things would end up like this~."
"…"
"At this rate, maybe it would be better if I came and cleaned for you, after all."
"I, I refuse…."
"But why!"
"I, I don't…. Want to let you…. Mess up my room…."
"How mean…. Is that the kind of thing you say to the little sister who came all the way out here to make sure you were still alive?"
You yourself don't show your brother an ounce of respect. Besides, no one asked you to come check on my survival.
"Geez…. Why do I have to be siblings with someone who causes nothing but trouble? Sometimes I hate it." Nanami frowned, but that didn't last long as she reverted to her usual smiley self, "Haa, my throat's kind of dry. I'm taking a drink."
"…"
Advancing further and further into the room, Nanami opened the fridge without asking permission.
"Nothing but Coke? You should keep milk tea or something in here."
"I, I don't care…."
"Whatever. Then I'll have the Coke."
As usual, it looked like she had no intention of getting my approval first. Taking a plastic bottle of Coke – one that, by the way, I'd drunk from earlier – out of the fridge, she opened the lid, hesitated for a second, then gulped it straight down.
How gross. Going for an indirect kiss. Girls shouldn't be so crude. Geez, this is why the third dimension is a piece of shit. I'd better throw away the rest of that Coke once Nanami has left.
"Nnn, nnn…."
Hey, hold up, you….
"Buhaaa…. Fuuu…. That was great.
"It's true, there's nothing better than having something to drink after you exercise. I ran all the way here from school."
"….Y, you drank it all? …..A, and in one breath…."
Never mind that I'd bought that Coke with my own money. Just because she's my little sister, she thinks she can do whatever she wants, oh yes she does….
"Ah…. Cr, crud…." Nanami paled as she looked at the empty bottle.
Apparently she saw how rude she'd been to her brother. So she'd finally picked up on-
"Oh, no, I'm gonna gain weight again!"
Haah?
"You're to blame, you know…."
For some reason, Nanami decided to take it out on me. She's incomprehensible.
"Cause you love Coke, even I ended up turning into a huge Coke fan."
"D, don't…. Make it my fault…."
"C'mon, didn't we always have Coke in the fridge at home? Mom's such as softy when it comes to you. Did you know? Coke has a huge amount of calories. You should try not to drink so much of it, either. Stick to milk tea from here on out."
Doesn't milk tea have about the same number of calories as Coke…. Plus, I don't plan on letting you control my diet, dammit. Way to say that after finishing off my Coke all on your own. Was that the kind of thing you came here to tell me?
"G, go home…. Already…."
She'd confirmed that I was still alive, so she had no reason to stay here. Why did she have to come up into my room each and every time?
"Bro…. You're so cold to me."
It looked like my words had hit her where it hurt. Glaring at me, she pouted. It would be a hassle to deal with her, so I looked away.
"I was so worried about you, and I went out of my way to see how you were doing…. Aren't there times when you spend the entire day shut up in here, without talking to anyone? You never even have the chance to talk to any girls, do you?"
Sh, shut up, stop jeering at me…. I'm not into 3-D girls, so there's no need for me to talk with them.
"In fact, now that I think about it, aren't I the only girl you ever talk to? That's why you ought to treat me better. That way, you'll learn a little about how to make contact with girls."
As she spoke, Nanami picked up one of my figures – Hikaru-tan from "Suicide for the Light" – and scrutinized her intently. Argh, I don't unilaterally decide to touch one of my wives…. I'll knock your lights out if you get fingerprints on her.
"Also, you should take better care of yourself. This isn't the time to escape the real world with your dollies. I don't wanna be the first one to discover your dead body."
What on earth was this sister of mine trying to say? Lately, she'd somehow started to give off the same kind of feeling as our mom. Which is to say, in conclusion…. She's still obnoxiousssss!
"I, I'm fine, so…. Go back."
"Don't keep saying 'go home, go back' like that, you idiot! I've still got something to do here!"
Ugh…. She was getting more and more hysterical. If I pissed her off any more than this, she'd go out of control. Chill out, self….
"Let's go buy you a cell."
"Ha….?" What's she saying?
"Dad told me to. If you owned a cell phone, I could check whether you were alive anytime I wanted, couldn't I? He gave the money to me, so let's go buy it now. Nowadays, practically everyone owns a cell phone. You're gonna get left behind by the rest of the modern world."
Shut up, you trend-chasing high school girl. You're much weaker than me when it comes to being informed. I've got the Net. Granted, it was a given for contemporary high schoolers to have cell phones. But I didn't own one. I didn't have any opportunities to use one. There was no one for me to call or text. I didn't want to spend money on something I wouldn't use.
"So why don't we get going?" Nanami returned the figure to its shelf and peered at my face, "You probably don't know about the different models, so just go with the same kind as me." Along with her words, she took her own cell phone out of her bag and held it out toward me as if she were offering me a pill box, "See! This is mine. Isn't the colour adorable? While I'm at it, I'll give you the same strap as me."
"Uwah…. Wh, what a sloppily designed mascot…."
What dangled down in the form of her yellow cell phone's strap was a bizarre mascot character. On top of that, it looked awful, as if an amateur had designed it. Dude, this wasn't anywhere near the level of "lazily made" or "disturbing but cute"!
"It's not sloppy! That's just the Gero-froggy design. It's super popular right now! Haa, of course you wouldn't know what's hot among high school girls…. If we fix that about you, I think you'd definitely be a little more successful at talking to girls."
That's why I'm telling you to shut up, trend-worshipper! What is this Gero-froggy crap? Logically speaking, no matter how you look at it, this kind of thing would never start a fad. How sad of her, failing to realize that she's being controlled by the media….
"But wait, we weren't supposed to be talking about Gero-froggy! C'mon, let's go and get you a cell phone. Ah, but it's not like I'm saying I want us to have matching ones, okay? It's cause there are plans that offer lower fees if family members get the same model. You're the only one in the family who doesn't have one."
"D, don't wanna…."
"Wh, why?! Dad's paying for it, you know?!"
"Don't…. Need one…."
If anything, it would only get in the way. If I had a cell phone, Mom would make sure to call me every single day. If I ignored her, she'd obviously send Nanami out as her assassin again. In short, it'd turn into more of a hassle than it already was before, and I'd have to be even more careful. I couldn't put up with that.
"Sheesh! I can't believe you, you moron! I'm leaving!"
"Yeah…. Please do so…."
I opened the door so Nanami could go outside. But she didn't move. Shoulders shaking with anger, she burst out at me.
"You're seriously a moron! Brainless idiot! See me off to the station or something!"
"N, no way…."
Why did I have to see her off today? I'd never done so any of the other times she'd dropped by.
"It's getting dangerous around her, with the murders and everything! Siblings are supposed to worry about each other in times like this!"
"…" For an instant, yesterday's events seemed about to revive at the back of my mind, and I frantically shook my head, sending that gruesome spectacle flying away, "It, it doesn't matter either way…." Surely the "New Gen" perpetrator wasn't so idle and curious as to attack a babyish kid like Nanami….
"You, you've gotta be kidding me…." Nanami hugged herself, "You're saying you don't care if I die…."
Nanami was on the verge of tears. Looked like my words had seriously gotten her down. Hehehe, serves you right. That's what you get for disturbing my peace. This is quiet little form of revenge. How'd you like them apples?
"…" Nanami sobbed for a little second, until flying her arms out and tilting forward in my direction, "Idiot! Rot and die! Get carved up by a serial killer….!" Pelting me with those parting lines, Nanami pushed me out of the way and hurtled out of the room.
Haa… That stormy period of time had finally come to an end… The room went silent as soon as Nanami left. It had to be like this, after all. This was my base. I couldn't let anything go on here that wasn't to my tastes.
Seated in front of my PC, I moved the mouse minutely to make the Seira-tan screensaver on my monitor go away. I tried to drink the Coke left on the table straight from the bottle. But it was empty.
"Ah…. Sh, shit, Nanami drank from this earlier…." Urrgh, that sucks…. I had an indirect kiss with my little sister….
If Nanami were a little cuter, I might've been able to fap to this eroge-esque situation, but that personality of hers only made me go flaccid…. I put the lid back on the Coke bottle and threw it at the giant garbage bag that sat in the corner of the room. Instead of going in the bag, it bounced off the wall and rolled under the bed. Meh, whatever.
Let's see. Better get back to immersing myself in ESO. I had to forget about reality and its aggravations ASAP…. In truth, though, I was only able to stay in Bazellad for one day before my time there had to be interrupted.
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
The moment I stepped outside early in the morning, my recovering nerves plummeted back into the worst shape imaginable. Why did I have to go to school?
"Why today? This sucks, this blows…."
But I couldn't take the day off. Take even a single day off, and abnormalities would emerge in the system imposed by my "minimum attendance shift chart." Then I wouldn't be able to graduate.
"Graduate, graduate…. What's with the insistence on graduating?" It was something I'd decided on myself, but I couldn't help griping about it.
While passing through Shoutou's high-class residential district, I came to an abrupt realization. For a while now, I'd been sensing someone's gaze. Unusually, though, it wasn't "God's gaze." My neck muscles weren't growing twitchy. As I rounded the corner, I used my eyes alone to look behind me, without turning my head. For a second, I glimpsed a girl wearing the Suimei uniform.
Could it be the demon from the day before yesterday….?!
I immediately lost my calm: my heart began beating wildly. A supreme tension controlled my movements, making me walk jerkily. The serene morning scenery metamorphosed, leaving me with the sense that everything around me was rejecting me. Birds chirped atop telephone wires, and I could faintly hear the relaxed BGM of morning news programs playing in the houses I was passing. In the midst of this vista that seemed like it couldn't possibly have less to do with a murder case, I was on the verge of picturing myself dying hideously.
No, get a grip…. I hadn't clearly identified her face. Also, if she were a Suimei student, it would be natural for her to keep following after me. Our destination was the same, after all.
….Okay then.
At a spot from which I could get to school simply by continuing straight ahead, I turned to the right instead. I was anxious about what might be behind me, but I fervently suppressed the urge to turn around, and attempted to act natural as I carried out my plan. Heart pounding, I went on walking. After having continued for about another minute, I whipped back around with all my might.
"….!" Our eyes were about to meet, so I hastily faced forward again.
Why was she following me?! This road was obviously the long way to school. In the end, was she really tailing me….?
In any case, I didn't recognize her face. The fact that she was wearing glasses made it instantly clear that she wasn't the demon from the day before yesterday. That alone was enough to make me feel relieved. At this rate, I might as well hurry up and head for school. I had to cancel my daily routine of eating breakfast in the park, but it couldn't be helped.
"Damn you, Girl A!"
To me, your existence is no more than the equivalent of "Passerby 1" or "Girl A." So don't stick your nose in my business!
Girl A, who had appeared to be tailing me, vanished at the school's entrance. It would seem that our final destinations differed: she had gone in the direction of the seniors' classrooms. Was the whole being tailed thing just a result of me over thinking everything? But there was undeniably something off about the fact that she'd followed when I made a detour. Was she trying to torment me? Had I done something to earn her spite? No, I hadn't. There was no way I had. Since at school, my existence is like air.
Then what could possibly be her goal….?
I somehow managed to while away my time at school, though it caused me nothing but agony, and on my way back, I made my usual stop at " Café." Of course, my seat was in the booth called Room 37. Though the private rooms around me were normally empty, surprisingly enough, today there was already someone in the nearby Room 36. The door setting the room apart was closed. The illumination of the desk light leaked out from within. As I entered my room, I clicked my tongue a little. It'd be hard to chat and stuff, with someone in a neighbouring room, since I have a habit of inadvertently talking to myself. Well, no matter. For the time being, I'd start by logging into ESO. There wouldn't be any problems if I took care not to talk out loud.
"Come on, what's with these guys…." Irritated, I smacked the keyboard with my palm.
About two hours had passed since I'd started playing. My stress just kept building up today. The pair I'd formed a party with were nOObs no matter how looked at it. I was being nice enough to try and help them shine, but they'd dive in on their own and die on their own…. And while they kept repeating that, the other magic user didn't make a single effort to provide magical support. Thanks to that, the whole party had been massacred countless times. Which was why they did nothing but complain in our chats. Dammit, you people suck at this. It pissed me off so much that I PK'd them, stole their items, and immediately escaped to a different area. Liselotte could easily do the kinds of things that Knight-hart couldn't. That was why I came all the way out here to log in at Café. Hehehe.
Feeling a little better than before, I decided to take a break by going to get a drink. Café had free refills, so there were a lot of juice machines placed around the main counter. The one downside to Room 37 was its distance from the main counter. As I came out of my room, I saw that the door of the neighbouring Room 36 was open. To get to the front, I had no choice but to pass in front of it. As I passed it, I nonchalantly peeked inside, but no one was there. Come to think of it, I'd heard the sound of someone standing up a short while ago. But a bag had been left at the foot of the reclining chair. It was a student's bag, with a stuffed animal strap hanging down from it. It was the same Gero-froggy Nanami had brought with her yesterday. Moreover, there were three of them. I guess they really were becoming a trend after all. Not that I cared one way or the other.
If I spent too long looking, the other customer might come back and suspect me of being a pervert or a thief. Having thought that, I was about to go get my drink. But the letters displayed on the monitor of the powered-up PC entered the edge of my field of sight, and my eyes opened wide.
It said, "New Gen Wiki." That wasn't all; it also used gaudy, sensationalistic fonts. New Gen…. I was deliberately trying not to pay attention to news about those incidents. I didn't want to know the details. That way I could keep telling myself it had no connection to me. No, but setting all that aside…. Perhaps there was some kind of meaning in the fact that the customer in the room next door to me at a net café was looking at a New Gen wiki site. For an instant, that demon-girl's face appeared in my brain, and goose bumps covered my whole body. I forcibly chased away such negative thoughts by shaking my head. I was over thinking it. That's right, this was paranoia, plain and simple. There wasn't a single day when the New Gen incidents didn't show up on some TV program, and anyone would be interested in them. That was all there was to it. Yeah, that had to be it. All right, time to get back to refilling my drink.
Putting the cup under the drink machine, I pressed the button for Coke without a moment's hesitation. Cold Coke soon started pouring in. The sun was setting, and after a little while, it would begin to get crowded. In the front room, I saw several customers waiting by the register for someone to guide them to their rooms. From here on out, the number of people would keep increasing as night approached. After another hour, all the private booths around Room 37 would be filled up. At that point, I'd probably head home.
Cup in hand, I was heading back to my seat. Along the way, I happened to glance into the corridor that led to the bathrooms….
"Ah…."
I saw a form of a bespectacled girl in a Suimei uniform vanishing into the corridor's depths. More to the point, it was the same Girl A, who'd come chasing after me this morning.
"Eh…. Eh…."
Thinking that my eyes might've been mistaken, I hid in the shadow of some bookshelves and kept looking in the direction of the corridor. But from then onward, she didn't show herself whatsoever. My eyes had been mistaken, hadn't they….? Right, I'd only caught a glimpse of her. And a ridiculous number of Suimei girls used this café. Even glasses-wearing girl were here in abundance. But if it were indeed Girl A….? What could be the meaning behind her being here….?
A mere coincidence? Or…. Had she come after me? ….Somehow, I was starting to get kind of scared.
I left the café and hurried toward my base. In the end, I'd left the store shortly after getting freaked out. Though I wanted to return home as soon as possible, the sidewalks were surging with people, and I couldn't progress as quickly as I'd have liked.
I was starting to feel worse and worse. I hate crowds…. They give me the sense that everyone's looking at me and snickering. When the light turned red, my only option was to stop. I swiftly scanned the area.
Girl A was nowhere to be seen.
When I climbed up Dougen Hill, walking became considerably easier. Normally I would do my best to go back by choosing the kinds of back roads where other people are scarce, but…. After what happened on that night, the day before yesterday, I stuck to the main roads. Just in case.
Another red light forced me to pull up short, and I looked behind my back again, but I didn't spot Girl A. The person I'd seen at Café might've been someone different, after all. Mildly relieved, I relaxed my shoulders a little, since they'd been frozen in place this whole time, and faced forward….
"….!" Stunned, I took a single step back.
On the other side of the crosswalk. That girl was there, in the midst of the people waiting for the light to change. And the gaze coming from the depths of her glasses was blatantly pointed at me. She didn't try to look away. Her eyes brimmed with a solemn colour, demanding something from me….
NEGATIVE delusion
Perhaps reflecting the headlights of a passing car, Girl A's glasses shone sharply.
"Fufu…."
I heard it. Through her twisted lips. A sound like mocking laughter. Even though we were so far apart. Even though there were so many people. My ears picked up on the sigh-like sound of her laughter.
"Ahaha…." Laughing, she suddenly pulled up the hem of her skirt.
From underneath it, something glittered and fell to the ground in huge numbers. They resembled crosses. An image of the stakes I'd seen at the "pinned in place" crime scene appeared in my head like a flash of light.
"Ahahaha….!" Her expression was perfect in its abnormality.
Eyes bloodshot, cheeks pulled back and twitching, she smiled only with her mouth. And, as if she'd thought of something, she forced her way out from among the people waiting for the light to change. Though it was still red, she stepped out onto the crosswalk.
My body shrank with terror. I thought I would run away, but my feet were rooted to the ground and wouldn't move. Nor could I speak. She was drawing closer. She was crossing the street. Gripping one of those cross-like stakes. Don't come here!
The moment after I prayed for that…. Girl A's body was sent flying by an oncoming truck. Screams rose from all around. From where I was standing, blocked by the crowd, I couldn't see what had become of her.
But surely…. She was dead. She had to be dead. She had to be lying on the road like an old rag, drenched in blood. I'm saved, I thought inappropriately.
Paralyzed, I couldn't look away. Without warning, Girl A's mouth moved. She was trying to say something. But the noise coming from around us was too loud, and there was no way I could hear her. Mesmerized, I focussed my eyes on the movements of her lips.
WHOSE
EYES
ARE
THOSE
EYES
….All the hair on my body stood on end with a shudder. That was impossible. Just my imagination. Because it wasn't as if I could read lips or anything. I'd simply read them wrong. Shaking my head, I fought to turn my eyes away from her. Whatever the result, the only certain factor was that Girl A had said something. Regardless of what she'd said, doing that to me when we've never met before was way too eerie.
I mustn't get involved with her.
It would be better to run. I should run away while I still had the chance.
Run!
Berating my weak-willed and withering heart, I dashed off in a straight line, away from Girl A. I ran back down Dougen Hill, though I'd just come up it, and entered a side road I encountered along the way…. That instant, something slammed violently into my shoulder, and I fell down.
I groaned, failing to understand what had happened to me, as pain ran through my whole body. It took me a while to start pushing myself up. When I raised my face, there was a large scooter toppled over in the middle of the road. I must have collided with it. Gritting my teeth, I tried forcing myself to stand. But my legs wouldn't support me. Nothing seemed to be broken, but….
"Um~ Are, are you…. Okay?"
Before I knew it, Girl A was right in front of my eyes. She peered into my face as though she were worried about me.
"Wha…. Wha…."
What was with her…. What was with this girl….
My body wouldn't move for me. Pathetic as it was, I was petrified. I didn't know what to do. With things having turned out like this, I regretted that I hadn't used the train to Shinsen to get home.
"….Are you hurt?" Girl A called out to me caustiously.
Was she scheming to catch me off my guard by pretending to be concerned about me? I, I won't let you fool me. I won't be taken in by the likes of some 3-D chick!
"Wha, what's with you…."
"Eh…."
"D, don't come after me! Wh, what do you want from me?"
She looked bewildered. I desperately derided her, while scooting back on my butt in hopes of opening even a little distance between us. If I didn't do so, I thought maybe she'd pull a knife out of her clothes any second and come attack me. That gruesome spectacle revived at the back of my mind over and over. No matter what I did, I kept wondering whether I would end up the same way.
"…" She lowered her head, her expression wounded, "Um, ummm, er, you suddenly started running, and when I came to see what was happening, you'd collapsed, and I was worried…. Bu, but, um, I don't have any particular business with you other than that, so, er, uh…."
Not as if she has any business with me…. She says? Way too cryptic….
"Th, then, wh, why do you keep hanging around me?"
"Um, that's, um…." She fumbled her words.
As expected, her behaviour was far too suspicious….
"My name is Kusunoki… Yua."
"…"
No one had asked her to, but she suddenly started introducing herself.
"But, the truth is…. When I first saw you, something about you nagged at me…. And, I just…." She "just" ended up tailing me….?
This woman, who introduced herself as Yua, gradually lowered her glance while blabbering something obscure.
"I'm sorry." She furiously bowed her head.
….Impossible. That was my honest reaction. Looking at her like this, the girl called Yua was rather cute. I'd acknowledge that. She had really nice light-brown hair that fell down her shoulders and back, the ends spiralling into mild ringlets, and her eyes had a gentle, warming feel to them. Which was exactly why I didn't believe her. A 3-D girl who felt favourably toward me? What was this, an eroge? In my whole life up until now, no one had ever said something like that to me. That was why this sudden confession could only ring false to me. Did she think I'd rejoice over it? Regardless of the fact that she'd been creeping around me like a stalker up until a short while ago? I might dig a character like that in the 2-D world, but I didn't want to see it in real life. It'd send me reeling back. And I was incredibly embarrassed. I wanted to get away from here right away…. The third dimension really is shit, to put you under pressure of anxiety when all you're doing is talking.
"I, I'm…. Not interested in the third dimension…."
"Eh?"
"Ah, no…. Um, ha, has, ha, ha"
I stammered because I was attempting to say something harsh. Even so, I had to make it clear to her, or she'd keep hovering around me later. No thanks, I'd pass on that….
"It's, it's a hassle…. D, don't stick around me…."
"….I'm sorry."
Seeing her hunch over and fall silent, I wondered if she'd really reconsidered. No, don't let her trick you. Don't trust anything in the third dimension. All I could trust was the second dimension. I had more faith in Seira-tan's words than in whatever this girl said.
"Do, don't f, follow me anymore…. I, I'm going home…." Faltering, I fought to stand up.
My body still hurt here and there. My shoulder in particular had trouble moving, and an intermittent dull pain kept running through it. The pain briefly made me dizzy. I might have hit my head when I fell. Yua hurriedly caught my hand and supported me as I stumbled.
"You're hurt, aren't you? Let me help."
"…"
It was a lot of work to avoid meeting her eyes. No doubt about it, my face was turning bright red. She'd make fun of me if she saw it. So I turned my face aside and roughly shook off Yua's hand. The inside of my head was pure white. I almost never touched females, other than my family members. I felt the pulse in my chest growing steadily faster and faster.
"I'll see you to your house. Um, since…. You were hurt because I was tagging along after you…. So, please, let me see you home."
I was happy at her suggestion. I wasn't used to having others be nice to me, so even though she was a 3-D girl who'd previously induced only revulsion in me, I was in serious danger of falling for her. That was why I didn't have the courage to look at Yua face-to-face. Besides, she was a stalker, and she might be related to that demon girl, and I didn't want to die….
Anyway, I was attempting to think about a lot of things, but I couldn't think about anything, and I became more and more discombobulated.
"Um, er, where is your house?"
"Ah, Shi, Shinse…."
"Shinsen?"
Oh, crap, I thought as soon as I nodded. Why did I have to go and tell her…. What was I expecting from her…. At most, this would turn out to be a delusion. Or else, at the very, very end, I'd be thrust down from the pinnacle of happiness and fall into despair. That kind of pattern appears a lot in anime. A death flag had gone up for me. Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit.
Without my realizing it, Yua had slipped under my shoulder to help hold me up. Her soft body was practically glued to me. Her hair smelled nice. Impossible. There was no way a 3-D girl would be this nice to someone like me.
"Can you…. Walk?"
"…" When she asked me, I made the mistake of nodding again.
"Then let's go." Yua spoke nervously and began to slowly move forward, watching my feet.
She was doing so much for me that I could no longer refuse her or shake her off. Helpless, I had no choice but to start walking, borrowing the assistance of her delicate shoulders.
Neither Yua nor I spoke until we reached the building where my base was located. As if I could ever have a normal conversation with a girl. Obviously, if I brought up the subject of anime or games or figures, 3-D girls would reflexively call me a creep without so much as trying to understand me. From my perspective, there was nothing to be gained from talking with those bitches.
"I, I'm fine here, so…."
Somehow forcing myself to say just that much, I studied her reaction. Yua gave me a small nod and let me go. I still staggered a little.
"Should I, um…. Take you to your room, after all?"
"…" Ignoring her suggestion, I headed for the building's entrance.
This ragged, twenty-two year old building called Kurenai Hall was eight stories high and housed multiple tenants. It was grimy, and the elevator hall (not that it was large enough to be called a hall) was dark because the electricity there didn't work, and the stairs were steep, and merely three people were enough the fill up the elevator, and its speed of ascent was irritatingly slow. The container housing on the roof formed my base. I ended up here thanks purely to my dad's connections. Apparently he was a friend of the building's owner, and the rent was pretty cheap. The fact that it only took ten minutes to walk to school was also a plus.
In truth, I'd wanted to live in Akihabara, but my parents wouldn't let me live by myself anywhere other than here, so I gave up and settled in. Well, just as they say, the place you live becomes your palace, and I felt fortune that it wasn't so bad once I actually came to stay here. There was supposed to be a tenant on the first floor, but ever since I first arrived here, the shutters had always been closed. Next to the rented space on the first floor was a narrow entrance, which led to the elevator hall. You had to take a slight step up to get in there. The instant I raised my foot to climb it, a fierce pain ran through me, and I swayed.
"Are, are you all right?"
Yua leapt forward to hold me up. Dammit, she was still here….
"I'll take you up to your room. Wi, without fail." Her declaration sounded oddly frantic.
To be perfectly honest, it was an enormous help to have Yua come this far with me. After reaching the eighth floor via the elevator, I'd have to climb a set of steep emergency stairs, and in my current state, that seemed nigh impossible to do alone. Yua didn't seem very strong, at least going by her outward appearance. Despite that, she did her best to support me, catching her breath as she helped me climb.
"You, you live…. Up in a place like this…."
"…"
Yua was rendered speechless upon seeing the container housing. I guess from a normal person's point of view, living in an industrial container would seem downright unbelievable.
"Somehow…. I, um, really admire that."
"Eh….?"
"It's got a kind of outlaw sensibility to it. How neat."
I'd never dreamed someone would say such a thing. Was she trying to butter me up, or what? I won't be fooled. I definitely won't be fooled by one of you 3-D girls, okay? With Yua supporting me, I opened the padlock on the door and went inside.
Haa, I finally made it back….
Today had been disastrous. It might be best to become a hikikomori after all.
"It's pitch-black…. Um, where's the light switch…."
"…"
This girl…. She'd brazenly gone ahead to the middle of the room. But, well, there was also the fact that she'd lent me her shoulder on the way here…. If possible, I didn't want her to look around my room. After all, there were a ton of figures lined up on the shelves, and eroge packages were piled up on the bed, and the floor was littered with trash.
"Th, that's enough…. Le, let me go."
Having communicated that, I waited for Yua's hand to leave me. But she wouldn't release me so easily.
"The floor is really messy- no, er, I mean, I think it'll be hard to walk around like this…. It's clearly dangerous. Let's head for the sofa. I'll let go of you once you're there."
"…"
In the end, I did as she told me. Magazines and CDs were scattered atop the sofa, too, but Yua swiftly tided them up while still supporting me, then helped me sit down. She was kind to me, and so considerate…. No, don't be fooled! I won't let you fool me!
"Are you okay?"
"Ye, yeah…."
She and I were alone in my room. Since the door was still thrown open, some faint moonlight came in, but the inside of the room remained mostly dark. Which was why I couldn't tell what kind of expression Yua was making. Conversely, though, my being unable to see her well made her breathing sound even more sexual. Come to think of it, this was the first time someone other than my little sister had visited my room. And she was a girl I'd only just met….
If this were a game, I'd have triggered an event flag. The sort of situation where we'd get cosy and end up kissing. But I wasn't expecting that kind of thing. Reality was endlessly cruel. Unlike the second dimension. And this girl wasn't normal. She was a stalker. Speaking of which, how long did Yua plan on standing there in front of me? If she'd done what she wanted, she should hurry up and leave. Having thought that far, I pulled up short. Surely she wasn't planning on doing something horrible now that the two of us were alone….
"Um, the light switch…."
"Er, er, my computer…."
"Computer….?"
"…"
The only source of illumination in this room was the desk light set next to my PC. I started to tell her to switch it on, but I couldn't bring myself to finish.
"Ah, I see. You mean this desk lamp?"
"Eh, ye, yeah…."
Scrupulously avoiding the garbage at her feet as she walked, Yua wavered her way over to the desk and turned on the light. The room was at last released from darkness.
In the dark, being unable to see had had the opposite effect of driving me to fantasize about all kinds of things, but now that I could see her clearly, I didn't know where to look and became even more embarrassed. Becoming completely incapable of speech, I hurriedly hunched over.
"Ah!"
"?!"
I shivered convulsively when Yua suddenly raised her voice. Her line of sight was aimed at my figure of Seira-tan, standing next to my monitor in her usual moe pose.
"This is Seira-chan, from Burachu…. Isn't it?"
"Eh….? ….Yo, you know…. About it?"
"Y, yes. I love Burachu. I watch it every week."
"Is, is that so…."
"You must really like Seira-chan. She's also my favourite of the heroines. Her costume is cute, too."
Her voice had grown lively. She wasn't just saying it to flatter me. How unexpected. Could it be that Yua….
"Fu….joshi?"
"?"
"Ah, never mind…." So she simply liked anime.
"These are called…. Figures, aren't they? May I take a closer look? Ah, I'm sorry. That was too forward of me…. I ought to go home already…."
Flustered, she bowed her head to me repeatedly.
"….It, it's okay to look."
Anyway, it didn't feel so bad to have someone praise one of my wives. That was why I figured, why not be a little nicer to her?
"Really? Thank you so much." Yua picked Seira up and studied her seriously.
"Th, that's the Sanyoudou-made pre-awakening version. Lots of different Seira figures have come out, but it was the fi, first."
"Huh…."
"It isn't that high-quality. Her face is subtly off, for instance. And her pose is too standard to be very sexy…. But it's the only figure of her so far where the chest area is cast-offable."
"Ch, chest area…."
"Ah, by the way, I've collected all four Seira figures. On the shelf, th, there's the school uniform version, and the maid version, and the swimsuit version."
"All those different kinds…. How impressive."
"The maid version is the most expensive, but personally, the sw, swimsuit version isn't too bad, either."
"I see. I'd like to take a look at them. But it's a little dim…."
"Soon enough, Alpha's gonna release the long-awaited post-awakening version. Seems like it's pretty high quality. It's cast-offable, too, not just her chest, but practically her whole body. There's nothing to complain about with her expression or her pose, either. And the colours are spot on. She'll be a candidate for MVP when it comes to this year's batch of figures."
"Alpha?"
"A, a maker. Of figures."
"Ahh, I get it."
"…"
Catching myself, I held my tongue. I'd realized that I'd said too much. Furthermore, going off like that about bishoujo figures…. I had the feeling that I'd said some pretty dumbass stuff, like about being able to cast-off clothing, and whether or not poses were sexy…. I wanted to see what kind of face Yua was making, but I didn't have the courage to look. She'd definitely be looking down at me as if I were something dirty…. So I desperately forced my face in some other direction, pulse racing.
"Um." Yua called out to me, and I automatically turned in her direction.
Far from wearing the scorn-filled expression I had feared, she was….
"The ones you mentioned before, the battle version and the maid version and such, may I see them?"
"Eh…. Ye, yeah…. Over on that shelf…."
I was utterly confused. Because Yua was smiling, as if she were really having fun.
"Waah, amazing! You have so many!"
Her eyes sparkled even after she saw the shelf filled with figures. To think that there existed a 3-D girl who could see this kind of thing and not be repulsed. It was a big world out there, or something along those lines.
"Ah, this must be the maid Seira-chan. Hm, hm, she gives off a different impression than in the anime, but it's super cute! Fufufu. They even made her underwear accurately…. It's the first time I've seen these in person, but I like them. Maybe I should buy one, too."
"I, in that case…. You sh, should pre-order the post-awakening version. I totally recommend that one. So."
"I see. After hearing what you had to say about it, I really started wanting that post-awakening one. When you say post-awakening, do you mean that scene in episode 12?"
"Way to know that. Art thou perhaps quite the fanatic?"
"Yes. Since I like the show. The awakening scene in particular; I rewatch my recording of it every day."
"Miyaji took care of the direction and artwork in that scene. So it's natural for the quality to be so impressive."
"Miyaji?"
"There's a godly creator out there who gets called that. His direction is seriously god-like. On chan's live broadcast discussion board, people say 'Here's a God!' when he comes up."
"Wow, really? You know so much about this. I haven't been paying any attention to the staff members."
"You ought to check out who produced it and directed it and did the script. Especially when it comes to new series, since you can basically predict whether it'll be good or bad based on those factors alone."
"Understood. From now on, I'll look it up." Yua faced me again as she answered, wearing a charming smile.
"…"
To think that I'd be on the receiving end of a girl's smile…. To think that such an eroge-esque conversation could exist in real life! And that I myself would be able to experience it! 3-D girls, my sister included, usually smiled at me as if they were making fun of me. I shouldn't forget Seira-tan's words to me. "You mustn't trust in anyone. You mustn't listen to anyone."
"Um…."
"Eh?"
"I, I don't know if it's okay to ask this, but…."
"Wh, what….?"
Yua suddenly began fidgeting. She faced downward and didn't try to meet my eyes.
"May I ask your name?"
"My name…." Now that she mentioned it, she'd introduced herself to me, but I hadn't reciprocated, "Ni, Nishijo…. Takumi…." Becoming oddly embarrassed, I ended up mumbling it.
"Nishijo Takumi-kun. What grade are you?"
"A, a junior…."
"I'm a senior. Guess that means I'm older, hm? "
"…" Oh jeez, that moe phrasing of hers made me downright dizzy.
Was Yua the "caring big sister" type? She was real dangerous, luring me in like this. She had to be plotting something!
"And so, Nishijo-kun, I, um, have a favour to ask of you…."
A, a favour? Surely she didn't mean….
POSITIVE delusion
"I…. I'm in love with you. I've always watched you…. I, I'm not satisfied with just looking anymore…."
Yua's face was bright red. For some reason, after her sudden confession, she abruptly took off her top. Taking a bashful glance at me and my confusion, she shed her skirt as well. Her panties peeked from under the hem of her remaining blouse. They were black. Major points to her for acting embarrassed while doing something so daring, but…. My thoughts couldn't keep up with such a sudden development. It was all I could to just swallow the saliva in my mouth.
Yua went even further, putting her hands to the buttons of her blouse. She undid them from the top down, one by one. And then, slowly, as though to inflame me, she dropped her blouse on the floor. Underneath it, inexplicably, she was wearing…. A racing swimsuit.
Spunky. High-cut. So tight, it dug into her. What had appeared to be black panties were in fact part of her racing suit. Hey, that said, in spite of her mild-mannered face, Yua had awfully big boobs. Let's just say GJ to how she'd avoid taking off knee socks, and leave it at that. But….
"Please, do whatever you want with me…. It's okay to…. Be rough."
"Wha…. Wha…." All I could do was become speechless.
Under ordinary circumstances, there would be no such thing as a 3-D girl who would say things like this toward a male she'd just met. It was all but impossible. It was hot, but it didn't get me moe'd up. I feverishly forced my reason, which was even now in danger of being completely blown away, to work at full capacity.
"Bu, bu, but…. But I refuse!"
You tellin' me to give you one of my Seira-tan figures?! If so, don't fuck around with me! Trying to separate me from my wives, why, that's the very height of atrocity! No matter what anyone said, no matter how much money they offered me, I'd never want to part with Seira-tan! If you want her, buy her yourself!
"Kyaa!"
While I internally cursed at her, Yua fell grandly on her ass without any warning. She rubbed her butt, looking a bit as if she were about to cry.
"I, I'm sorry…. I think I stepped on one of your CDs…. The case might be broken…. I'm truly sorry. I'll clean it up properly, so…."
"It, it's okay…."
It's okay, so hurry up and go home…. In any case, what was the "favour" she'd brought up earlier? Though I'd told her not to, Yua began tidying up the trash and CDs scattered at her feet. Her expression was so apologetic that it made me start to feel like I was the one at fault.
"Th, then, let me at least guarantee you…. Some space to walk safely. I'm sorry…. After that, I'll say what the favour is…."
As she cleaned briskly, Yua looked almost like my mother. Doing whatever the heck she wanted, without any thought for other people's extenuating circumstances. It was the perfect example of uncalled-for meddling…. At times like this, someone in my position should probably offer Yua my help. As we reached for the garbage, our hands would touch. "Ah…." we'd say as we gazed at each other, and the atmosphere would start to get kind of intimate. What kind of love comedy is this?! I'm definitely not gonna help out, okay?
"Ah…."
Yua's hand, which had been neurotically re-piling the mountain of magazines, stopped. Right then, her back happened to be facing me, and I couldn't really see what she was holding.
"…?"
"N, never mind. Please, pay no heed to it…."
She was getting remarkably flustered. How suspicious. Thinking about it more carefully, it was the same as if she were doing a search of my room. She might be trying to steal something. Maybe she thought that with so many figures, I wouldn't notice one or two missing. But you got that wrong! See here, I know everything about my brides! I'd notice right away if even a single one vanished!
"Do, don't touch my figures."
"I, I won't. No, that's not it…. Is this…. What you call a Burachu doujinshi? One had fallen down here…. And I took a little look inside…."
A Burachu doujinshi…. A, an ero one….
"It, it was, um, amazing, it surprised me…."
"…Do, don't look without asking."
"Ah, I'm sorry."
Yua frantically began moving her hands again. Having managed to create just enough space to sit down, she turned back to face me.
"So, um, about the…. Favour I mentioned earlier…."
Here it is….! I sucked down my breath and instinctively braced myself.
"It's the figure pre-ordering we were talking about before…. Do you think maybe you could come with me?"
"Eh? Ehhh?"
"Up till now, I've never gone into, you know, an anime shop or anything…. But, ah, it's rude of me to ask, isn't it. I'm sorry…. Since it's my fault you got hurt…."
"…"
I was in real danger here. This wasn't the kind of problem where I could answer her carelessly. In the first place, Yua and I had similar hobbies, and she'd said she liked Seira-tan, and she acted really interested in what I had to say, and for an otaku like me, she was pretty easy to talk with. But this had to be a trap. Such an overly convenient, eroge-esque development would never happen in real life. Don't be poisoned by the third dimension. Think…. What on earth was Yua's goal….
"I, I'm sorry, please forget I said anything…. I was, um, happy that…. You told me about all kinds of things…."
"…"
Yua bowed her head to me. Considering that most 3-D girls tend to be excessively pushy, she was showing unusual restraint. No girl this cute, and with such a good personality, could possibly exist in reality. This was…. An act! Watch me reject you. I'll shut you down like a man….!
"…" When Yua raised her head, what I could see of her eyes behind her glasses looked damp.
Could it be that she was crying? Because I hadn't said anything? I'd made her cry? Heeey, gi, give me a break…. I'd only ever experienced such scenes of emotional carnage in games. I was incredibly agitated. Plus, I felt guilty. It's often said that women's tears can become weapons, but only now did I get a sense of the truth behind those words. Honestly, I had no idea what to do. I just got in a dither and made myself increasingly impatient.
"I'll…." I'll go with you, I started to say, but I couldn't go through with it.
What if, after I said that, she told me, "Like, don't take it seriously, stupid. What a creep." Trapped in paranoia, I lost the ability to speak.
"You don't have to force yourself. It wouldn't be good for you to go along with my selfishness…." She sniffed.
Her eyes went wetter than before…. Droplets seemed ready to come overflowing from the corners of her eyes any moment now….
"I, I'll…. Go…."
"Eh?"
"…"
"You'll come with me?"
Helpless, I nodded. I couldn't think of any other way to make Yua stop crying. I had the feeling that I'd strolled right into her trap, but…. Yua let out a relieved breath, took off her glasses, and wiped her tears.
"I thought it'd be only natural for you to refuse…. Thank you so much, Nishijo-kun." She was thanking me….
It looked as though I had somehow managed to avoid making her cry for real. I was the one who felt like I'd been saved…. Haa, how had I ended up getting so cornered? Damn you, 3-D girl…. Lack of preparation was my greatest enemy….
"If we're going, when would be best?"
On top of that, where had her sorrowful expression gone? Now she looked thoroughly delighted. She might've been crying crocodile tears, after all…. If so, those were some professional-level acting skills.
"The new Seira-chan figure is being released soon, isn't it?"
"Y, yeah. It'll sell out really soon…. I think."
"In that case, it seems we should go quickly…. How about tomorrow….?"
"…"
According to my schedule for the week, tomorrow was certainly a school-going day. This week of all weeks, I had to go three times. As a result, though, next week I would only have to go twice. Tomorrow was looking to be a pretty depressing day. But if I told Yua, "Actually, I'm not going," now that she'd gotten all excited about it, she might start crying again…. Urgh, she had me wrapped around her little finger….
"G, got it…."
I reluctantly gave my assent. Yua seemed pleased. Making that face at me won't be enough to trick me, you know.
"What class are you in, Nishijo-kun? I'll come get you after school tomorrow."
"….Class B."
"Grade 11, Class B. Okay, please wait for me once classes are over."
Wanting Yua to leave faster, I went on bobbing my head. Promising to hang out with a girl…. This wasn't some kind of dream or delusion, was it….? I pinched my cheek, just in case. It hurt.
"All right then, thanks for letting me stay so long. If your foot hurts, have a doctor take a look at it, okay?"
"Ah, yeah…."
Still seated on the sofa, I watched Yua go. Immediately before leaving the room, Yua turned to give me a little wave.
"See you tomorrow, Nishijo-kun."
"…" And like that, she was gone, the door closing behind her, "See you tomorrow, she says…. And she even waved at me…. …Hehehe." My cheeks were naturally slipping into a smile, so I hastily pulled my face back into place, "She's totally fallen for me. No question about it. Hehehe. Well, I got to pick whether or not to go out with her, right? I'll reject her without a moment's worth of mercy or sympathy.
"Something like, 'You're not worthy of being my woman. Come on back once you're a finer woman than Seira. Granted, that'll never happen, given the Seira's gonna be eternally seventeen,' hehehehehehehehe."
Like any female could ever be finer than Seira. I picked up the figure of her and rubbed it against my cheek. Seira-tan seemed happy.
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
The school bell resounded in a faint echo, drawing the teacher's attention to the clock above the chalkboard.
"Whoops, it's already time. The part we just covered will appear on the test. Make sure you've taken good notes. We'll stop here for today."
"Rise." Said the class representative, and like that everyone stood up while the teacher gathered his belongings on his desk, "Bow."
Once the math teacher – what was his name again? Not like it mattered – left the classroom, today's classes finally reached their end. Everyone chattered about where they planned to go next. While the students in clubs gathered with their fellow club members and headed off to different rooms, there were also a lot of people preparing to head straight home. As soon as the closing bell rang, I, too, usually got my stuff together for going home. But today I fretted in my seat, making an effort not to meet my classmates' gazes. After this came my promise with Yua.
Ordinarily, it'd be ultra exciting to be waiting to head out somewhere with a girl. But right now I was nothing but melancholy. I couldn't calm down. My stomach ached. It was the first time I'd promised to meet with a girl, so I had no clue how to handle myself. In the first place, was Yua really coming? I started to think that maybe yesterday had been one big prank, and as I waited here, she was watching me from the shadows and giggling. In a certain sense, that might be better than if she really came…. In fact, there was no need to wait for her so faithfully. Wouldn't it be fine if I forgot all about her and left?
Alrighty, time to go home. Whatever the case, we were in different grades, and if I stood her up today, we'd probably never meet again for the rest of our lives. Decision made, I stood up.
"Taku! Whatcha doing?" Someone pounded me on the back.
I didn't have to see his face to know whose doing it was. Misumi-kun was the only person in the class curious enough to call out to me.
"You aren't going home? You always disappear right when the bell rings. I'd secretly named it 'Takumi's supersonic flight home,' man."
"I, I'm leaving now…."
"You waiting for someone?" Misumi-kun grinned.
"Eh….?!" How'd he know….?!
"Bull's-eye, huh?"
"How…."
"Cause you looked extra fidgety. And you kept checking out the classroom entrance."
"…"
He's sharp…. But it'd be better not to say anything careless here. You mustn't forget, Takumi. At this school, you've gotta stand out as little as possible. You've gotta be like air.
"I'm not really waiting for anyone…."
"Oh? Then what was with that pause just now?" He grinned again.
"Th, that was…."
Shit. Misumi-kun wasn't a bad guy, but he could really get obnoxious at times like this. Learn to read between the lines.
"Nishijo-kun."
I twitched. Looking gingerly in the direction Yua's voice had come from, I saw her standing timidly at the entrance to our classroom. What a mess…. It was Misumi-kun's fault that I'd lost my chance to escape….
"Whoa, hey, what's going on?! What is this?!" Unusually for him, Misumi-kun seemed shaken.
Throwing an arm around my shoulder, he looked at me steadily.
"Hey, Taku. Explain yourself. She's your girl?"
"It, it's not like that…." I'd told Misumi-kun a million times that I had no interest in the third dimension.
"So what is it then~? Let me say off the bat that I won't fall for it if you try to say she's your sister or something. You're a hikikomori. Where and how the hell did you get to meet a hottie like her?"
"Ye, yesterday she started hanging around me all of a sudden…."
"So, in other words, you got reverse-picked-up, huh? Ehhh, you little!"
He grabbed me by the jaw until I started to wobble. With that, Misumi-kun finally released me.
"Got it, so I guess there's some pretty curious types out there. But hey, I'm a little relieved to see you've got normal inclinations."
"I, inclinations…. Anyway, we're not really…."
"Heheheh, is that so? Keep it up, Taku!" he said cheerfully.
Misumi-kun wasn't listening to me. Getting single-handedly worked up about it, he thumped me on the back even more fiercely than before. Uuh, he was definitely teasing me.
"No need to worry, dude. I won't steal your lady."
"I, I'm telling you, she's not my…."
"Hahaha. C'mon, get on over there. Looks like she's tired of waiting."
As Misumi-kun drove me away, I stumbled up to Yua. In the end, I hadn't been able to run away….
"Um, I came to pick you up…. Did it cause you any trouble?"
"Ah, no…." It'd caused me tons of trouble.
When I took a look back at Misumi-kun, he grinned and stuck his middle finger up at me. I had a hard time telling whether he was picking a fight with me or trying to encourage me. It'd be aggravating to keep dealing with him. I'd better get out of school posthaste.
"I'm sorry to ask this of you, even though we met only yesterday…."
"Nah…."
"…"
"…" S, so nervous….
Going home from school together with a 3-D girl, why, that almost made it seem like I had a life. I'd thought that kind of thing belonged in a world with no relation to me. I'd never dreamed of being able to experience it…. But at the moment, I was coming under silent pressure from Yua. How could I be so nervous when all we were doing was walking side by side? And I no clue as to Yua's true identity or her goal. What could she expect from a creepy otaku like me….?
"The day before yesterday-"
"Ehhh?" I gasped.
"Yes?!" She responded, somewhat bewildered.
"Ah, forget it…."
Since she'd started talking so suddenly, startling had made my voice come out weirdly…. It seemed Yua was nervous as well. Her expression was strained. It made her seem rather innocent, for an older girl. She might be unexpectedly moe…. That said, though, it was all I could do just to glance at her out of the corners of my eyes. Looking at her straight on shouldn't have been a big deal, but sheer embarrassment made it impossible for me.
"The day before yesterday, did you watch Burachu?"
"Eh, ye, yeah…."
"There was one part that I still don't understand very well. Susumu-kun came running to save Seira when she was in a pinch, right? But how did Susumu-kun know Seira-chan was in danger?"
"Th, that got, er, foreshadowed the week before. They inserted a quick scene where Seira's cell phone starts ringing, and the caller display shows Susumu's name…."
"Ah, ahh~! Now that you mention it, there was a scene like that."
"Yamataku likes sticking in lots of minor foreshadowing like that. You can find the same kind of thing in Kingoru."
"Yamataku? Kingoru?"
"Ya, Yamataku is a fan nickname for Burachu's director. And Kingoru is the anime he directed before Burachu."
"Hmm. So Yamataku-san must be a famous director."
"Well, I like his stuff. If I had to say why…."
As I lectured Yua on this and that about anime, we arrived in front of Animeight. Wow, we'd gotten there way faster than I'd thought. I'd gotten so into it that I'd talked way too much…. It was because Yua was good at listening. She heard me out with true interest while I showed off my knowledge in all kinds of areas. That was why, even though I was aware it had to be a trap, I found myself wanting to tell her everything I knew. I was supposed to be bad at talking. That was a first for me. I could converse with her almost as if I were chatting online. What a strange sensation.
"Haa. My heart's kind of started racing…."
"…"
"Um, please don't leave before me, okay?"
"O, okay…."
Her demeanour growing increasingly nervous, Yua asked one of the clerks about pre-ordering the post-awakening version of Seira. I simply watched from beside her. I'd been casing the place for a chance to escape, but Yua kept throwing anxious looks at me, so I couldn't move an inch. Afterward, at Yua's request, we looked around the rest of the store. An overjoyed Yua told me, "No matter how much money I brought here, I'd want to buy more," but I didn't have the energy to smile back at her.
Apparently, Yua took the train to and from school. As a result, I had to accompany her to the Shinsen train station. She seemed gentle and timid, but she was actually pretty stubborn. She'd couch her demands in such a way that they didn't seem at all demanding or selfish. That was dark of her, man. Yua had to be one of those dark characters.
"Nishijo-kun, do you have a cell phone?"
Yua abruptly asked me right as we arrived at the station. A cell phone, huh…. I feebly shook my head.
"You don't have one…. Is there no other way to contact you?"
"C, contact….?"
What did she plan to accomplish by contacting me? Surely she didn't intend to make me mail her over every little thing?
"Ah, but Nishijo-kun, don't you have a computer? I have one, too, so could we exchange email addresses?"
"Wh, why….?"
"Eh, um…. When the figure comes out, I'll have to go pick it up. Could we, well, go together again….? I still don't quite have the courage to go to Animate…. By myself, so…."
"…" How skilfully done.
"Besides…." This girl was ingenious, "Nishijo-kun, I want to…."
Even though I understood that, I couldn't refuse her. I'd feel bad if I turned her down….
"Become…."
The third dimension was truly terrifying….
"Better friends with you…."
"…"
Was it because I wasn't used to talking to people? Or because her conversational skills were just that good…? Whatever the case, it didn't seem like Yua would be ready to return until I gave her my email address. Yet she anxiously looked up at me through her glasses. For some reason, it stole away my will to resist. Despite the fact that goose bumps covered my whole body, and chills were running down my spine, I could neither run away nor reject her. There was something bizarre about Yua…. This atmosphere…. Wasn't normal…. I couldn't clearly explain why it wasn't in normal words…. But in any case, it was abnormal….
Before I realized it, I'd written my email address on a scrap of notebook paper and handed it over to Yua. After happily accepting it, Yua nodded to me and disappeared into the station. I stood there, dazed, for a full ten minutes, feeling as though my soul had been sucked out of me….
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
Back at my base...
Knight-hart: Whaddaya think of a girl like that?
Knight-hart: I have no idea what to do anymore
Knight-hart: She's definitely got some kind of ulterior motive
Knight-hart: That's all I can come up with
Knight-hart: Hey, you listening? Grim
Grim: WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS EROGE?
"…"
That night. As we chatted, I tried Grim's advice on what to do about Yua. I didn't think anything would come of it if I went around suspecting everyone and everything, all on my own. But there was his answer. To be fair, I'd had the exact same reaction the first time I spoke with Yua.
Knight-hart: I was an idiot for asking you
Grim: Wait, lol, you, you're serious?! Man, you've got flags standing up all over the place!
Grim: When you do things, ya sure get 'em done right, hahaha
Grim: Dude, who was it who said he wasn't interested in the third dimension?
Knight-hart: Look, it's not that kind of relationship
Grim reacted the same way as Misumi-kun. What if, contrary to all expectations, they were the same person?
Grim: Well, guys like you with no romantic experience
Grim: Have a tendency to graduate from being otaku the second they get a woman
Grim: It's common sense that your girlfriend wouldn't want you fapping to school swimsuits
Knight-hart: What's wrong with fapping to school swimsuits?! (#* Д*)
Grim: You're hopeless…. Better do something about that quick….
"You've got mail~, dummy"
Oh? I could hear Seira-tan's voice. I'd changed my settings so that she'd say the same line whenever I got a new email. When I usually checked my email client, the field for the sender's name said…. Kusunoki Yua.
"Uwah…. That was fast."
Knight-hart: Got an email
Knight-hart: Just now
Grim: Here it comes—(' ∇')—(∇' )—(' )—( )—( )—( ')—(' ∇)—(' ∇'—!
An email from a 3-D girl…. I'd never received one before…. I took a gulp and opened it.
Subject: Good evening. This is Kusunoki.
Sender: Kusunoki Yua
Time sent: -PM
To: t_takumi (Takumi)
Good evening. This is Kusunoki.
I decided to send you an email right away.
I'd be delighted if you would save my email address. V(≧∇≦)v
Thank you so much for coming with me today. m(_ _)m I'm sorry
But I had a lot of fun.
It was my first time going to a store like that.
It might also have been because you were with me…. (lol)
When are you coming to school tomorrow?
Ah, if you were to ask why I want to know such a thing.
Well, I'd like to greet you in the morning….
It'd be nice if we bumped into each other in the morning.
In any case, I'll email you again later.
Good night. (^ _ ^)/~~
The contents were completely infused with her neatness and good breeding. However, she also used emoticons to create a sense of friendliness. But…. With parts like, "Because you were there with me," and "I'd like to greet you in the morning," and…. You could also interpret it as being part of some scheme of hers.
Grim: Post it!
Knight-hart: It's normal stuff, man
Knight-hart: Just saying hello
Grim: C'mon, just post it! Post it!
Grim was being so obnoxious about it that I decided to just throw the whole thing up there. Although I made sure to remove our personal information first, of course.
Grim: Hoho~
Grim: Man, what a lovey-dovey mail
Grim: You oughta just go off and die
Knight-hart: Come on, think about it seriously
Knight-hart: It's gotta be some kind of trap!
Grim: Yeah, yeah, conspiracy, conspiracy, conspiracy
Grim: Aren't you overthinking things?
Grim: To me it just looks like you've set off her flag
Grim: Only a little longer till you reach her Good End
Knight-hart: But that's impossible
Knight-hart: A gross otaku like me, and a real live girl who's that cute
Knight-hart: Would never get together
Grim: lol, now you're just praising your honey
Knight-hart: Answer seriously once in a while ヽ(`Д ´)ノ
Grim: Yeah, yeah, that's why I'm saying you're overthinking things
Grim: You have the same interests and stuff, don't you?
Grim: Nowadays, it'll be hard for you to find another nice, healthy girl like her
I knew that much already…. But she was such a good girl that it was actually kind of disagreeable.
Grim: Well, the whole stalker act she started out with might've been overdoing it
Grim: But she likes you enough
Grim: To be driven by that kind of impulse
Grim: She likes anime, right?
Grim: She's an impossibly ideal girlfriend
Grim: For an otaku, at any rate
Grim: Go on and make her adept to your tastes
Th, that might not be so bad….
No, no, no! That was exactly what she wanted me to think!
Grim: Be happy you got reverse-picked-up, heh
Knight-hart: I'm not interested in the third dimension
Grim: But really you want to go out with her so badly you can't help it, right?
Grim: If you wanna get out of your otaku cocoon, now's your chance
Grim: Make no mistake, you won't get this kind of chance again
"That's true, but…."
Grim: Congrats on your newfound popularity!
Grim: Instead of freaking out, go on the attack
Grim: Just act like Knight-hart, except in real life
Grim: All lights green ahead-!
"…"
If I could do that, it wouldn't be such a struggle. And there was something I learned from talking to Yua yesterday and the day before yesterday. It was enjoyable, and it made me happy, but more so than that, it wore me out, and it was a huge bother. Rather than continuing to be forced to go through with all that, I might as well stick to the 2-D world, where I could live however I wanted…. Which was why I didn't send a reply to Yua's mail.
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
It was going up in flames…. Red tongues of flame danced inside the incinerator. They were burning a sailor uniform and a number of textbooks.
The house was located at the foot of the mountains. From its garden, one could look out across the inland sea. The sound of boats' steam whistles came faintly from afar, and a refreshing, salty breeze softly shook the trees just beyond the house's eaves. In the midst of that tranquil airflow, only a small-statured young girl – only Orihara Kozue, standing motionless in front of the incinerator – bore about her a heavier atmosphere. She was wearing a brown dress and a white long sleeved shirt beneath it. Her hair could barely be told apart from the glowing sunset, and set nicely with two twintails spiralling out from behind the lower back of her ears and behind her shoulders.
Fixed incessantly on the sailor uniform and textbooks transforming to flame inside the incinerator, her eyes wore a vermillion glow. They were the sailor uniform she had worn and the textbooks she had used up until just yesterday. She made no effort to move from the spot, as though she were reluctant to part with them, despite the fact that she herself had set them on fire. She abruptly knitted her eyebrows in anguish and covered her ears hard.
"…."
Her mouth opened with difficulty. But nothing more happened. Neither groaning nor complaining, she simply breathed raggedly. She shook her head over and over, as if to push something away. Still covering her ears, she gradually crumbled in place. When her bottom hit the ground, she moved her chin just a little, as though exhausted, and gazed expressionlessly up at the sky. She remained in that position for several minutes without so much as twitching. But with equal suddenness, she turned about confidently, as though she had heard someone's voice.
Before he lay the house's veranda. Though it was the middle of the day, it was dim within the wood-constructed house, over fifty-year-old house, and she couldn't see much beyond the veranda. Kozue shakily rose to her feet and walked up to the veranda. Her mother appeared right then, as though she had calculated the timing.
"Oh my, Kozue-chan. I was looking for you. Is your luggage ready?"
Kozue nodded and sat down lightly on the edge of the veranda.
"The day after tomorrow, we'll be saying goodbye to this house." Standing next to her, her mother cast a look at the serene inland sea, "It's your first time going to a place like Tokyo. ….It'll be wonderful if you make some nice friends."
"…" Kozue neither nodded nor shook her head in response to her mother's considerate words.
Holding her silence, she continued gazing desolately at the incinerator over in a corner of the garden, which even now went on harbouring its flames….
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
The following week's "school-going day."
As melancholy as usual, I stared down at my feet on the way to school. It was about time for the season to start changing to autumn in earnest. The trees in Shoutou Park were gradually becoming more colourful, and short sleeves were starting to get a little chilly. Since I typically stayed indoors all the time, the changing of the seasons only perplexed me. I still felt like it was supposed to be summer.
I'd played ESO all weekend. Grim kept asking me about Yua, but I ignored him from start to finish. Yua hadn't mailed me once since then. She might have finally given up, since I didn't send a reply. That'd be a huge relief. I got all mixed up when I talked to Yua. I seemed on the verge of discovering some hope for myself. But there was no point in a creepy otaku like me embracing hope. I'd lived all this time without ever once getting rewarded for anything, and so I'd lost interest in the third dimension.
Please don't make me expect anything. Please don't expect anything of me.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind. Thinking it would be Nanami or Misumi-kun, I turned around and was surprised.
"Nishijo-kun…. Fuu, haa…."
Yua smiled at me, her cheeks slightly flushed. For some reason, she was out of breath.
"I saw you from way back there…. I thought it might be you…. And so I ran to catch up…."
"…"
Could this possibly mean she hadn't given up yet….? She still had expectations for me?
"Good morning, Nishijo-kun."
"Ah, ye, yeah…."
"Haa, I finally got to say it. Although it took four days, including Saturday. Ah, I sent you an email last week. Di, did you…. Read it?"
"…" Without meaning to, I nodded reflexively.
"Thank goodness. Since there was no reply, I was convinced it hadn't reached you, and there were so many times when I was about to resend it, but I guess I was right to hold back."
What on earth did Yua expect from me? Should I fall in love with you? Should I become your boyfriend? And should we then live out our lovey-dovey lives as a couple? …No way. I couldn't act so wholesome. I wanted to, but it would never happen. Besides, I didn't understand how Yua had come to think so well of me. I couldn't have faith in her. That's what made it impossible….
"Um, Nishijo-kun, is something wrong?"
"Eh….?"
"Er, you've been standing there all this time…."
"…"
I hastily walked off, leaving Yua behind. But she caught up by trotting.
"I went to your classroom yesterday, but you weren't there, were you? I thought maybe you weren't at school because you'd caught a cold or something, and I got worried. But I'm glad you seem fine."
"I, I don't…."
"Yes?"
"I don't often…. Come to school…. Everyone thinks…. I'm a hikikomori…."
"…"
Surely I'd disillusioned her. Surely, knowing what I was really like, she'd have lost all friendly thoughts toward me. I didn't mind. Because I hadn't expected anything from the start. Go on, think of me as being creepy and gross. And from now on, please stay away from me.
"I see. But I'm glad I got to see you today." She smiled contently.
"…." I was floored.
Without thinking, I scrutinized Yua's smile intently. Our eyes met, and I was forced to hastily turn my face away. Why is it that I don't weird you out….
"Rather, since you do come to school, even if it's only once in a while, I don't think you're a hikikomori…. I, I'm sorry, acting like I know what I'm talking about…."
"B, but…. It's…. Re, really tough…."
"That's what makes you admirable."
"Eh….?"
I couldn't have so much as imagined that she would reply with such words. What could possibly be admirable about a useless human being like me? Yua smiled tenderly. I honestly thought, it was a smile that could heal people.
"Because, even though it's hard for you, you try your best to come to school. Normally, if it were that painful, you wouldn't be able to come at all."
"Bu, but…. I'm an otaku, and I'm disgusting…."
"I like listening to what you have to say."
What….? What on earth was it, this affirmation of my whole being…. Why did it feel so comforting…. I had the feeling that Yua would be able to embrace everything about me. I had the feeling that Yua would tell me it was all right for me to be here. If I were with Yua, I might be able to go back to being a regular person.
"Ah, oh no! It's the warning bell."
Without my noticing it, our surroundings had become empty of students. Everyone was already inside the school building.
"Well then, Nishijo-kun, I have to go. Ah, are you free after school today?"
"Eh…."
"I, if you're okay with it, er, um…. Le, let's leave school together…." She murmured shyly, blushing a bit, "I, I'll wait for you in the courtyard after school…. If you feel like it…. Please come. Ah, but you don't have to push yourself, I'll be fine….
"Excuse me."
Yua gave me a courteous bow and ran off toward the building where seniors' classrooms were located. Watching her go, I pinched my cheek again. It really wasn't a dream or a delusion….
I stayed in a daze during all of my classes that day. Or rather, I didn't pay the least attention to what was going on in my classes. Propping my chin up with one hand, I gazed on and on at the autumn sky beyond the window. Neither my classmates nor my teachers took any heed of me. But Yua looked at me. Yua was different from the rest of those assholes.
As I went on thinking along those lines and having all sorts of daydreams, classes suddenly came to an end.
"Yo, Taku, going on another date today? You're going with the four-eyes from before, right?" Misumi-kun bounded up to me as usual.
"…"
"Hey, hey, don't hesitate cause you're a slacker. Setting aside going out with her or not, if she likes you, it's only proper to do her-"
"I, I won't."
"H, hey, don't shout all of a sudden…."
"I won't do stuff like that with Yua."
"Haa? What're you saying? Why give up from the very beginning? It's about time to graduate from being a hikikomori, man."
"I, I'm not a hiki, hikikomori…."
He shouldn't have said that kind of thing in the first place. I didn't understand Misumi-kun, who lived through his nether regions. Misumi-kun looked puzzled, but I ignored him and hurried out of the classroom.
The shortest route to the courtyard involved crossing the corridor to the building where the seniors' classes were held, then going down the stairs from there…. Probably. Since I didn't come to school much, I wasn't very knowledgeable about which parts of the school building were connected to where. I wasn't sure of where all the specialized classrooms were, either. So I felt a tad insecure as I went down the corridor.
A lone girl stood in the dead centre of the passageway, looking out at the sky. She had a terribly severe look on her face. Despite what she was doing, she didn't have anything like a fading, waning atmosphere to her. She had long, purple-blue hair that fell down her back, and her eyes just seemed to fix on whatever it was that she staring at. Though she was clearly getting in the way of whoever might try to pass, she didn't budge an inch. She must have heard my footsteps. I'm in a hurry, please move out of the way…. Something about her gave off the smell of one of those delinquent types. I'd better be careful to stay as far away from her as possible, and to avoid meeting her eyes. With that in mind, I swiftly tried to skirt around behind "Girl B."
"…Hey."
"…." Shit, she was calling me!
Was she going to try to squeeze some money out of me? Or say she didn't like the way I looked, drag me off to a delinquent hangout and have me lynched there?! Gi, gi, give me a goddamn break…. I haven't done anything wrong…. When I cautiously surveyed Girl B, she glared at me.
"Who are you?"
"Eh…."
Even if she asks me who…. I'm Nishijo Takumi. Not that she had any way of knowing my name, of course, given that we'd never met before. She was planning on doing something horrible to me, no doubt about it….!
"E, excuse me…." Bowing my head so as to avoid looking at Girl B, I sprinted off at top speed.
Once I had dashed down the stairs from the seniors' building and leapt outside, I checked behind my back. Seemed like the scary-looking girl from before hadn't come chasing after me. Thank God…. I hated the third dimension for having traps at every turn. I looked around the courtyard as I collected my wild breathing.
Sandwiched between the pool and the school building, it was so long and narrow that it might have been more fitting to call it a pathway. There were flowerbeds at regular intervals, and right now the purple flowers particularly stood out. What were those flowers called? I didn't really know.
I spotted Yua standing in front of one of the flowerbeds, gazing idly at the flowers. She was really there…. She'd waited for me…. She'd waited for me and none other…. Yua wouldn't betray me. It might be all right for me to believe in her. Yua might be able to save me.
"Ah…." Raising her head, Yua noticed I was there.
As I watched, her eyes grew wider and wider. Embarrassed, I shifted my gaze away and stood in place. I didn't know whether it was okay for me to walk up to her. Why was she surprised? Maybe I shouldn't have come…. As I wavered, Yua came running up to me.
"Th, that startled me…."
"Eh….?"
"You really came…. I'd given up, thinking you wouldn't show…. But I'm glad I waited…."
Maybe Yua actually tended to think along much the same lines as I did. Viewing everything pessimistically, and so on. But one thing about us was radically different. I viewed things negatively and did nothing about it. Yua viewed things negatively but took action of her own accord. I honestly respected her for her ability to be so proactive. I wanted to be more like her.
"Er, w, will you…. Walk back with me….?"
I answered her hesitant question with a nod.
Side by side, Yua and I headed for the main gate. Somehow, it was kind of embarrassing. I also started to have the feeling that the other students leaving school were watching us enviously. The more conscious I became of it, the jerkier I got. Going on home with a girl, just the two of us, was impossible after all.
"Hm?" I passed by an unfamiliar teacher.
Although I only assumed he was a teacher because he was wearing a suit instead of a uniform. Was there really such a young teacher around here….? Since I rarely came to school, I had no memory of the teachers' faces. There were even times when I'd forgotten what my homeroom teacher looked like. Glancing around all the while, the suit-clad teacher went toward the school building.
"What's the matter?"
"Ah…." Flustered, I shook my head and resumed walking at Yua's side.
Though we'd said we would go home together, my base was only ten minutes away from school. Shinsen Station, which Yua used, was further away. As a result, it ended up being more like me seeing her off. Out of habit, I entered Shoutou Park. We could take a shortcut by cutting through here diagonally, though it would only save us a minute or so.
"Nishijo-kun, in the morning, do you often eat bread at one of the benches here?"
"Ah, yeah…." How did she know?
"I thought so. I often spotted you. But sometimes you were there, and sometimes you weren't. Today, that mystery has finally been solved for me. It's because you only come to school once in a while."
"…"
"Ah, but I'm not saying it's bad or anything, it's just something I wondered about, pure and simple…."
"Ye, yeah…."
Yua suddenly stopped and looked over at the bench where I usually sat to have breakfast. It was currently empty.
"Somehow, whenever you sat here, you always looked, um, like you were really hurting…." Leaning forward, Yua sent the tips of her fingers gliding along the bench's backrest, "As I spotted you over and over, I started to become concerned about you…."
This bench was set right in front of the fence around the pond. Moreover, because sitting in it meant facing the bank of the pond, I didn't tremble in fear of anyone's gaze. The reason I'd taken a liking to it was because the water mill nearby acted as a form of cover, keeping me from standing out.
"Lately, on the days when I didn't see you, it made me so worried, I could hardly get any food down my throat…."
W, was that so. I'd had no idea she was watching me.
"It was silly of me, getting worried about someone I'd never spoken to…. But I didn't have the courage to start a conversation, so…."
Take that to it's obvious conclusion, and you'd end up with her initial stalker-esque behaviour. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that, rather than stalking me, she had been worrying about me and watching over me.
"May I sit down for a bit? I, um, want to know what kind of scenery you've been looking at…."
I had no particular reason to say no. Facing the pond, I nodded. Setting her bag on top of the bench, Yua gently sat down. She straightened her back and gazed out at the pond. Very quietly, and very serenely, Yua was close beside me. A tender breeze stirred her hair and made ripples on the pond. Was this what it meant to really live?
Though it was such normal, casual scenery, and we were in such a casual situation, why did it seem as if tears would start flowing out of me at any moment….
"It must be pleasant to have breakfast here." Yua murmured.
I took a peek at the side of her face. In an eroge, this would undoubtedly be the right time to confess to her. After being bound together, the two of us would kiss and reach our Good End. Depending on the circumstances, we also might end up going straight to some exhibitionism…. Hehehe.
"Maybe I'll try it sometime, too…." Yua turned her head to look up at me.
Unable to say anything, I dropped my gaze to her bag. As I looked at the three "Gero-froggy" straps attached to her bag, I cursed myself for being so pathetic that I couldn't so much as meet a girl's gaze.
"…" Wait, a second….
Just now, something at the edge of my sight had nagged at me…. What I'd spied just now…. Gero-froggy. The mascot character that was all the rage among high school girls. I'd seen it somewhere before…. Where….?
"…!" Room 36!
The room next to Room 37, my usual spot at " Café." Last week, on the day I first met Yua, there had for once been a customer in Room 36, and they'd been looking at a Wiki about the "New Gen" incidents. At the time, after spotting Yua in " Café," I'd hurriedly left the store….
No way…. The person in the room next door had been….
I glanced at her, sitting on the bench and looking up at me. I locked my eyes with the gaze that looked up at me from deep within her glasses. It was the first time our eyes had ever met. She was still smiling. But her expression soon changed to confusion. What kind of face was I making? I didn't know.
I returned my line of sight to her bag – to those stuffed animal straps. I sensed her sucking in her breath.
"Nishijo….kun….?"
I stretched out my hand, all but unconsciously, toward the three Gero-froggies lined up like they were buddies….
"Don't!"
"!" Yua suddenly slapped me on the hand, "Eh….?"
….Eh?
"Ah…."
….Eh? While I stood there, dazed, Yua averted her eyes from me and was beginning to jerkily rise from the bench. When her hand hit her own bag, the bag from which those three Gero-froggies dangled – and as though I were watching a slow-motion movie…. The bag, fell slowly, from the bench, to the ground.
"Ah…."
Because the fasteners weren't closed, notebooks and textbooks came tumbling out from inside it.
"Ah, ahh, goodness, what on earth am I doing…."
If it were several minutes earlier…. I might have moe'd over Yua's clumsy side. But now all I could do was freeze in place. Because…. A single notebook had by chance opened up as it hit the ground. From within it poured memos and newspaper clippings and the like. It seemed to be some kind of scrapbook. The memos, the clippings, everything in it had to do with a certain series of incidents. I saw it clearly.
"New Gen."
"Wh…. Why…." My voice was hoarse.
Yua feverishly gathered the scattered memos and clippings and shoved them back in her bag.
"…" Yua rose, hugging her bag to her chest.
Her smile from before had completely vanished, and she hung her head uncomfortably.
"Wh, what was that….?"
"…" Yua didn't answer.
Why won't you answer? Answer me…. Say something to me…. If you don't say anything, won't I start thinking you must be feeling guilty….? Even though I'd started to believe in you…. Even though I'd started to think that maybe you would be my ally….
"You mustn't trust in anyone. You mustn't listen to anyone." Seira had been right after all.
3-D girls were the worst, each and every one of them. Even Yua hadn't felt kindly toward me or anything. She'd only approached me with some goal in mind. Perhaps she meant to hand me over to the police. Perhaps she meant to threaten me.
This sucks…. This fucking sucks….! Even though I'd started to forget all about that incident. Even though, since the police hadn't shown any signs of coming to talk to me about it, I'd made myself think I would get by without having anything to do with it. Even though I hadn't wanted to get wrapped up in it. What the hell did Yua want from me…. In any case, I turned on my heel, wanting to flee.
But….
Yua grabbed my wrist from behind me.
"Are you running away?" Her voice made my blood run cold.
A voice so chilly that my spine seemed about to freeze. I could hardly think of her as being the same Yua as before. On top of that….
"Uuh…." Yua's grip on my wrist was abnormally powerful.
She gripped it so tight that pain shot through me. Such a violent pain that it was enough to make me wonder if she would clench me to bits, all the way down to my bones. I tried to shake her off, but she wouldn't let go. On the contrary, she pulled me closer, making me pitch backwards.
"Are you running away?"
She whispered from behind me…. More so than that, right beside my ear, sounding as though all emotion had died in her. Shuddering, I timidly, timidly turned around.
"…" The colour residing in the depths of her glaring eyes wasn't sane, "I won't let you run, you know? I'll apologize for deceiving you, but that goes for both of us. You, too, hid something from me."
Hid…. Something…. I could only come up with one thing. Somehow, in some way, this girl knew I'd witnessed the corpse and the perpetrator of the staking murder. And that was why she had approached me. She was ingenious, after all…. This meant every single thing she'd told me had been a lie….! The fact that she'd been concerned about me since the first time she saw me. And the fact that she liked Burachu. And the fact that she'd promised to go together with me to pick up the post-awakening Seira figure on the day it was released. And the fact that she'd smiled and nodded as though she were having fun listening to what I was telling her. And the fact that she'd said she wanted to become better friends with me. And the fact that she'd gotten worried about me when I didn't come to school. And the fact that she'd been nice enough to call me admirable.
All of it, all of it, had just been her saying whatever came to the top of her head….
I clenched my fists in frustration and grief. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Why did I try so hard to believe in someone like her….!
"In reality, I would have liked to spend more time investigating, but since you caught me, there's no helping it. There's something I want to tell you. You'll listen, won't you? You won't say you won't listen? You should listen. Listen. Won't you listen? If you don't listen….
"…"
If I don't listen, what…. She was like a different person from the Yua I'd known up till now. Her gentle, calm atmosphere had vanished. Now I sensed an unapproachable atmosphere. And an indescribable tenacity. Her tone was absolute in its self-possession. No, "cool-headedness" might be a better way to put it. Her usual frailty was nowhere to be found.
No, I don't want to listen…. I tried to cover my ears. But I couldn't do it. Yua had captured one of my hands. She wasn't gripping it as hard as before, but she showed no sign of letting go. She wouldn't let my hand move freely. Still holding onto me, she reached inside her bag slowly, deliberately pulled out something that shone dully. She held it out toward me.
"….!"
I was stunned. My heartbeat leapt higher. I couldn't stay calm. I was so shocked that I lowered the one hand covering my ear. That was when Yua's accusatory voice reached my ears.
"You recognize this cross, don't you?"
Of course I recognized it. I soon saw it for what it was. It resembled a cross but was in truth a stake. One didn't often see stakes with such a distinctive shape. At the very least, I had only seen them once before.
….That night, strewn across the pavement.
….That night, as the demon girl hammered them in.
….That night, as she pinned a dead body to the wall.
"So you do know of it. Surely you must know it? Of course you know it. I won't let you say you don't know it. It'd be strange if you didn't know it. You know it, don't you?
"You, know, it, don't, you?"
I desperately shook my head. Greasy sweat stood out on my forehead. All I could do for the time being, as I wiped it, was shake my head from side to side.
"This was in your room."
"….!"
"In your room. Under the bed. On the floor. It fell there. Didn't it fall there? Or did you throw it away? In any case, it fell. It fell."
You bitch….! When the hell did she investigate my room?! On the day we first met?! When I hurt my foot, and she helped me up to my room?! When she'd seen my figure of Seira-tan, and her face had been shining, and she'd called it cute?!
"This stake is extremely unusual. It's imported. And…. It's the same as the stakes used in the third 'New Gen' case. I'm saying it's the same. It's the same, isn't it? It's unmistakably the same. It's the same. As the stakes used to pin the corpse to the wall. The same."
I was positive of it. She suspected me of being the "New Gen" perpetrator. She'd convinced herself I was a murderer. Did she think she was some kind of detective? "The high school girl detective, Kusunoki Yua," or something like that. Go die. I mean it, you deserve to die. It might have worked in an anime or a game. But Yua's reasoning was fatally mistaken.
I knew the killer. I'd seen her with my own eyes. That demon. She was a girl whose name I didn't know. But she had worn the Suimei uniform. The culprit was someone very near to me.
"So…. So what?"
"…" Yua lowered her head and let out a small breath.
Her grip on my wrist weakened, and at last she released me.
"….Nothing more and nothing less than what it seems. All I wanted to do was make sure that you knew what it was. In truth, I hadn't meant to say anything yet."
What the hell was "yet" supposed to mean here?!
"While we're at it, let me confirm one other thing. Do you have precognitive powers?"
"Haa….?" I unthinkingly let my mouth fall open.
Precognitive powers? What the heck was that? What did it have to do with the incident? As I wracked my brain, Yua plunged her hand into her bag and pulled out a piece of paper with a full-colour image printed on it.
"Because you possessed a piece of image data that can't be explained anyway, unless you happen to have precognitive powers."
The guro picture "Shogun" had sent me….! Why did Yua have it?!
"Th, this…."
"Why do you have a photo that replicates the third 'New Gen' case? Furthermore, you sent this image out on the day before the incident. It was left behind in the cache of your PC you use."
"Y, you're wrong….!"
I got this image from a guy called "Shogun," who I chatted with for the first time that day! I didn't make it myself! The fact that I'd downloaded it should still be recorded in my browser's history. Of course, I'd show that to Yua! But hold on, how had Yua gotten her hands on the image in the first place….? How had she known it was left in my computer's cache…. The one time she came into my room, she couldn't possibly have had any time to check out my PC….!
"You mean…. You're…. Shogun….!" She was trying to set me up?!
Yua had planned it all out, and she too was one of the "New Gen" criminals, and she intended to use me as a scapegoat to mislead the police investigation?!
"S, save me…." This was too much for me….
Why me? Because I was gross? Because I didn't have any friends?
"…" Yua said nothing, only shook her head a little, "I took this image from the PC in Café's Room 37. I also wanted to investigate your PC, if at all possible, but I didn't have the chance."
Room 37…. The room I always used. The bitch totally thought she was some kind of detective…. Yua looked at me with only a faint trace of apology in her face. I felt that she'd returned to the usual Yua for a moment. Still wearing that expression, she began fishing around inside her bag again. This time she brought out a print-out and pushed it at me.
I had a bad feeling about this. My reason warned me that it would be better not to look. But I had no choice but to look. I'd be falsely accused if I didn't find some way to resist.
"That's…. Your everything."
My everything? Could she have stolen all my personal information? Was Yua a hacker? Heart pounding, I unfolded the print-out. Contrary to my expectations, though, rather than my personal information, what was printed there looked like the backlog of an online chat.
"Ah…."
The participants in the chat were "Knight-hart" and…. "Shogun."
"Isn't that log strange?"
"Eh…." What was so strange about it?
It was a normal log. I certainly remembered having this kind of conversation with "Shogun."
"'Knight-hart' and 'Shogun'…. Their timestamps don't match up in the slightest.
"Ah….!"
Eh? What was this? Why had it ended up like this….?
"You are 'Knight-hart,' Nishijo-kun. The timestamp there starts on September 28, at about 3:00 in the morning. The next day, you went to ' Café.' You typically go to ' Café' after school. And you go to school 2.5 times per week. I heard from your classmates that the days you attended school last week were…. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. Last week's Monday was…. September 29. The same day as on Shogun's timestamps."
"…Wha…."
What? What…. Was she saying?
"I examined the chat log from the PC in Room 37. What I learned from doing so was that…."
Yua briefly cut herself off…. Then, finally catching my gaze straight-on, she gave voice to the relentless truth.
"You were putting on a one-man play…."
…Don't look at me.
"'Shogun' is none other than…."
…Don't look at me!
"You yourself."
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
"I don't want to see anything.
"I don't want to hear anything.
"Time is uncertain.
"My memories are self-contradictory.
"These are errors in my field of sight.
"This world isn't turning.
"This must surely be a game."
I plugged in my PC while stuffing my face with pieces of fish sausage.
"I'm… Not me."
At last, my Seira-tan wallpaper appeared on the monitor.
"This isn't the world," I instantly started up ESO, without a second's hesitation, "Where I belong…."