Hey guys.
I'm aware it's been a while, and I apologize that this isn't a new chapter. However, I have important things I have to say.
For the longest while, I have been ashamed with myself. It took a LOT for me to post the chapter, and I was in denial for a while.
I am aware a lot of people, most even younger than I, have written works a lot dirtier than mine, a lot more graphic, but it didn't change the fact that I was a barely 17 year old who'd written a rape fic, and I didn't know how to handle it for a long while. I felt seriously disgusted with myself.
I eventually did work on chapter 2, but I had several versions written, and didn't know how to start it. I had a lot of options, such as skipping straight to when Ponyboy wakes up in the hospital with his brothers already knowing about the rape, or starting with Johnny bringing Ponyboy to his house in a panic, or even with Darry's thoughts after having slapped his baby brother. I still hesitate on that regard. I don't even know how long I want the fic to be.
I felt ashamed, yet I told myself that I firmly believe authors have to go out of their comfort zone at one point to strive. I am proud to say I have thoroughly challenged myself by writing the chapter, and even more so for posting it, but I have been in internal conflict ever since. Will I ever write another rape scene again? Definitely not.
With that said, I want to announce that my laptop is currently broken, as I am typing this on my iPad. Once my laptop is fixed, I will write again. I cannot promise you when I will post the next chapter or how it will begin, but I do want to keep going, and once I do post it, this note will disappear. I just want you guys to be patient. I know you already have and it has taken me a long time to come up with this note, but please bear with me.
On a much more serious matter, rape is no joke. Rape should not be looked down on. I don't want any of my readers thinking I am okay with rape, because I am not. I don't want you guys to think that rape is okay, because it is not. If you know someone who was raped, please try to make all steps necessary to comfort them. Do not push them to talk about it or report it if they are not ready. If you yourself have been raped and need someone to listen to you, feel free to PM me. I cannot promise the best help, but I will do all I can to make sure you are not alone.
With that said, I want to thank all the readers and reviewers, all those who have followed and favorited the story. It means a lot to me, perhaps more than you realise. I assure you, I have not had any flame for posting the story, and nobody has made me feel disgusted but myself. I also assure you that I am finally over the shame and ready to keep going.
Until next time,
~Aura