I was standing in the bathroom in nothing but my jeans. I took out my hair wax and rubbed some in between my fingers. I put my hands in my hands rubbing it in a fast motion to make my hair stand up. Using a comb I did the finishing touches and left the bathroom. I went to my closet to pick something to wear. It was 9:15, but Urahara Tech wasn't far away so I decided I would leave at 9:30. I flipped through the hangers and picked out a dark green v-neck. Then I pulled out a black blazer and shrugged it on. I wanted to look good. It's not like there were any girls to impress but I wanted the guys to think I was cool. Checking my appearance one more time I decided it was time to leave.
I went outside and waited for the bus. It came within a matter of minutes. I climbed on and it took off. The ride was only 5 minutes. I stepped off when I came to Urahara Tech and went inside.
The guys were happy to see me. Well it was the guys and Soi Fon. But Soi Fon was kind of like a guy anyways. We had a lot of fun and we played for about two hours.
I laid my cards on the table. "Full house."
Byakuya stood up. "Bullshit! This is fucking bullshit! I came here and you told me he was a nice guy and he fucking takes all my money. This is bullshit! I'm out of here! You can kiss my Asian ass!"
"Later Byakuya." Toshiro called.
"Whatever." Byakuya waved walking away.
Toshiro's phone buzzed on the table. He flipped it open and read the message.
"Damn guys I've got to go, Minami just texted me."
"Does Rangiku know about your late night visits with this girl?" Soi Fon asked.
Toshiro waved his hand. "Of course, it's like an unspoken agreement."
"So in ether words she has no idea your cheating on her." Ikkaku pointed out.
"It's not cheating, it's sharing the love!"
"Look I'm just saying if she finds out you're fucked."
"Look if you knew Rangiku there is nothing that woman won't do, I have literally lubed up and made love to her feet."
"You foot fucked her?" Soi Fon asked.
"Ok Soi what's the nastiest thing you've ever done?"
Soi Fon sighed. "Man there was this girl I was sleeping with recently, she had amazing tits."
"Nice." Everyone agreed.
"Yeah I love the tit, the tidies." I chimed in.
Soi Fon continued. "So I'm going down on her and she's about to cum, and all of the sudden her cat starts using my ass as a scratching post. So I have a dilemma. Do I get the cat off of me, or do I finish?"
"I know your nasty ass finished!" Ikkaku laughed.
Soi Fon smiled. "Of course I did, and then I stole the cat."
"What?"
Soi Fon laughed. "Nah man I'm kidding."
Ikkaku leaned forward and dazed off. "Man sometimes when Nanao and I would make love it was not like we were two people. It was like we were spirits coming together as one…"
"Man why you gotta go on about that shit. Sharing the same heart? That's like some Bonnie Tyler kind of shit. This is three grown ass men, we don't want to hear that kind of bullshit!" Toshiro groaned.
"Yeah come on man that's some shit." I commented.
"You guys broke up 2 years ago you need to get over that shit!" Toshiro said pointing at Ikkaku.
"Yeah because no ass is worth thinking that much about." I said.
Toshiro lifted his beer at me. "Thank you Ichigo, will you please redeem him by telling a real sex story."
My breath caught in my throat. "Umm I don't really kiss and tell."
Toshiro threw a chip at me. "Fuck that, I'll one up you. Now tell the story!"
I had to make something up quick. "Alright….well I dated this girl for a while and she was really nasty and she always got down with the sex. Anytime anywhere she was like yeah let's go I'm so nasty. And I would be nailin her and she would be like Ooh nail me more Ichigo!"
"She talk dirty to you?" Soi Fon asked.
"Oh yeah she loved to dirty talk. Yeah she was so into it. She'd be like let's screw, let's umm ff-fuck. It was so dirty. She would say. Me so horny, me love you long time."
"So what were her tits like?" Ikkaku asked.
"Yeah describe her breasts." Soi Fon added.
"Yeah she had great tits…" It was hard faking this much.
"No, no like describe them. Were they like the pink little ones or like big brown amazon ones?" Toshiro described.
"Oh yeah they were nice, its like when you grab a boob and it feels like a bag of pudding."
"Pudding?" Ikkaku looked confused.
"Have you actually felt a woman's breast?" Soi Fon asked.
Toshiro looked at me with intent eyes. "Dude are you gay?"
"No I'm not gay I've been with plenty of women. " I lied.
"I touched a guy's shaft once in the locker room after wrestling practice." Ikkaku stated.
Toshiro shrugged his shoulders. "Hey man it's cool if you like to fuck guys. I have friends who fuck guys….in jail."
"No I'm not gay I've porked a lot of women!"
"Porked?"
Toshiro put his hand on the table. "Yo hold up. Answer this question. Are you a virgin?"
"Yeah not since I was like 10."
Soi Fon slapped her hands on the table. "It all makes sense you're a virgin!"
"How does that happen?" Toshiro yelled.
"He's a virgin!" Soi Fon pointed at me.
"Come on don't be mean." Ikkaku reasoned.
"I'm not being mean!" Toshiro defended. "I'm just trying to help a brother out."
"From now on your dick is my dick I'm gonna get you some pussy!"
I left quickly after that conversation out of sheer embarrassment. I stood on the bus with my head hung low. Me so horny? Me such a fucking idiot! A bag of pudding? Come on man, what the fuck? I arrived home and went straight to my room. I laid down and put my face into a pillow and just screamed. I lay in bed awake all night, not able to sleep. God how am I supposed to go to work tomorrow? No they're good guys they probably won't remember. I closed my eyes and rolled over drifting into a light sleep.
I woke up the next morning before my alarm clock again. I lay in bed dreading going to work. But at least I had school first. I sighed deeply and got up to get ready.
Home room was boring as usual. When the bell rang I gathered my things and walked out of class by myself of course.
"Ichigo wait up!"
"I turned around hearing a sweet voice call my name. It was Rukia!
She smiled and held out a pen. "Here's your pen back!"
"T-That's ok y-you can keep it." I stuttered.
"Oh really?" She smiled.
I loved her smile, she was so beautiful.
"Yeah it's my gift to you." I blushed.
"Thank you that's so nice!" She leaned forward and touched my arm playfully.
I shivered. She's never touched me before!
I pulled away. She turned her head looking down at my wrist.
"What kind of watch is that? She asked.
I held up my arm. "Oh it's uh err Nixon."
"Oooh those are supposed to be really nice!"
I rubbed my neck. "Well I have a job."
Her eyes brightened up. "Oh really where?"
"Urahara Tech, it's a locally owned electronics store."
She rubbed her chin. "I need a new DVD player for my room. I was gonna go to Best Buy but I think I might come by your store. When do you work?"
My eyes went wide. She wants to come see me?
"Everyday after school except Sundays."
"Ok cool thanks again for the pen."
"Umm no problem. Sorry I have Calculus." I laughed nervously
"I'll see you later Ichigo." She smiled sweetly and walked away.
I stood frozen in her wake watching her hips sway as she walked. Man what just happened?" Once my trance was broken I realized I was going to be late if I didn't hurry.
The rest of the school day went by fast and soon it was time for work. I had a bad sinking feeling I bet the guys were going to tell everyone. I felt embarrassed. I tried to shake the feeling as I got off the bus and walked into the store. I could see that Soi Fon was bitching at Yoruichi again.
"Yoruichi I just wanted to tell you I'm so happy I woke up this morning and I finally have the courage to tell you that if you keep playing Alicia Keys on the TV's I'm literally going to shoot myself and everyone in the store!"
Yoruichi didn't look amused. "Ok Soi Fon but do you suggest we play instead?"
"I don't give a damn. I'll listen to "Love is a battlefield" or "Oh mickey you're so fine." Because I'm telling you right now If I hear "This girl is on fire" on more time…"
Soi pointed to herself. "Then this girl is going to burn this place to the ground!"
Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "Get back to work smart ass."
"Cough cough uh fuck you cough!"
"What's that?" Yoruichi glared.
"Nothing." Soi Fon sneered walking away.
I walked past Ikkauku.
"What's up Ichigo?"
"Hey I greeted."
I was walking towards the stock room when I ran into Hisagi. He held out his arms and laughed.
"Hey Ichigo we need to get you some pikachu hahahahaha!"
Another customer started laughing as well. I heard loud house music from the TV section and I saw footage of girls with big breasts washing cars and rubbing soap on each other. Toshiro jumped onto the table and started swinging his hips.
"Hey Ichigo it's going down mother fucker! This weekend! Friday, Saturday. By the end of the weekend you won't have any semen left homie!"
After Toshiro was done yelling Byakuya came up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.
"Ichigo don't worry. You shouldn't let them bother you. You don't need to have sex. Not everyone is a pussy magnet you know? So what are you in middle school?"
"High school." I answered.
"Holy shit man you got to pull your shit together! Life isn't about sex, life is about determination and passion, spirit."
"Yeah you're right."
"It's not about putting shit in pussy it's about love!"
I nodded.
"It's about people, connections!"
"All about connections." I agreed.
"It's not about cock in ass, and tits, and butt hole pleasures.
"Not about butt hole pleasures." I repeated.
"It's not about rusty trombone, dirty sanchez.
"Please stop."
"Uh Cincinnati bow tie, and pussy juicy cock, and shit stained balls."
"Byakuya please!"
Yoruichi came up to us and intervened.
"Ok that's enough, let the virgin get back to work."
I don't know what happened I just cracked. I ran out of the store as fast as I could. Soi fon saw me dart and she came chasing after me.
"Ichigo come back no one cares you're a virgin stop being such a puss!"
"Leave me alone!" I yelled.
I ran down the stairs and around the building. When I came to the back I ran across the balcony and towards a door. Soi Fon was still hot on my tail. I grabbed the door handle but it was locked.
"Damnit! I yelled
"Whoa whoa just calm down!" she soothed.
"I'm going to have to quit my job now."
She rolled her eyes. "Ok now you're being dramatic."
I held up a finger. "Look I respect women ok! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!"
"Ok, ok that's fine."
"I don't want to go out with you guys I don't need your help. I have a very fulfilling life!" I yelled.
Just then Hisagi came out of the back door with a cigarette in his mouth.
"Hey Will and Grace back to work!"
"Hisagi can you just give us a minute here we're kind of in the middle of something."
"Hey fuck you I'm on my break!"
"Fuck off Hisagi, leave us alone!"
"Fuck off? Hey fuck you ok?"
"Fuck you!"
"No fuck you!"
"Fuck off!
"No you fuck off!"
"I'm going to kick you in the nuts asshole."
"Hey hey watch the language I have a family!"
"You're cussing at me!"
"Look tinkerbell it's a free country I can smoke if I want!"
"Smoke my clit!" Soi Fon yelled.
"I've had it with this bullshit!"
Hisagi threw his cigarette on the ground and jerked open the door.
"Yoruichi this dyke is pissing me off-"
Soi Fon turned back to me. "It's gonna be ok, let's go get a coffee."
We went to a coffee bean across the shopping center from Urahara tech. We decided to just take our breaks early. Sitting across from each other in a small corner, Soi Fon broke the silence first.
"So how has this not happened yet? You're a senior right?"
I nodded my head and took a sip of my coffee.
"So what's happening?"
"At the beginning of high school I tried and it just didn't work out. And as time went on I just got more and more nervous about it because it hadn't happened yet. So I just basically gave up."
"Well do you want to give it another shot?" She asked.
"I feel like it's too late, I mean I graduate in two months."
"That's crazy, you're only in high school. You have plenty of time. Don't you want to experience a relationship? Love and laughing, cuddling."
"I don't know. I wouldn't know what to do."
"You have to take the risk man. Look for example. A while back I was nailing Yoruichi for a solid 5 months. And it was awesome until she went down on some guy in an elevator. But the point is, it was worth it. They say it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. That's what it's all about Ichigo!"
"Why don't you get Yoruichi back?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "In reality she's a huge cunt."
"That sounds horrible."
"I know but that's the way it is. It's happiness, it's sadness. You'll go crazy and call all the time. And you'll fight. But hey that's love man."
"You really think I have a shot?"
"Yes! Come out with us this weekend. No pressure. We'll just have a good time."
"Ok but I don't want to be pressured into having sex."
"That's totally fine! No pressure. Just friends hanging out!"
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