Chapter 2
Guilt
"P-pardon?"
'Oh my god why did I just say that?!' Akko screamed internally as she stared back at a bewildered Diana. It wasn't the worst idea she'd ever had, but she was not prepared for this. She hadn't written music in at least a year and she had just asked one of the most prestigious violinists in the world to write a song with her. What was she thinking?
"Yeah...uh...ya know, I have a guitar...you have a violin, so..." The brunette laughed nervously.
The blonde's mouth still hung open slightly, gaze never leaving Akko's as if she was searching for a hint of a joke somewhere in her eyes.
The brunette finally had a chance to really look at Diana for the first time since she arrived, realizing just how beautiful the woman was. She had been beautiful at the academy, sure, but now she was absolutely gorgeous. The way her hair fell down to frame her perfect face, the way her azure eyes bore into her own as if she could see the very facets of her soul. Everything about her was a picture of perfection. Akko found purpose when she looked at Diana, which made the thought of writing a song with her a little less crazy. She could write countless songs about her beauty alone. This could be a chance for Akko to start over and rebuild what she once had... only sharing the journey with Diana would make it a hundred times better.
A confidence she hadn't felt in a very long time began to grow within her as her nervousness was steadily replaced by determination.
"Look, before you say anything, I just-"
"Diana! We have a..." Hannah burst through the door unexpectedly but stopped immediately in the doorway when she realized that Diana had been meeting with someone. "Oh, I apologize, I wasn't aware that… wait." She had started to apologize and turn around before Akko shifted in her chair to face her. Hannah's eyes narrowed at the surprised brunette. "Oh. You can't be serious."
"Well if it isn't the ginger kid." Akko smirked before rolling her eyes and turning her head back around to face Diana. "I see you still have your minions following you around."
"How dare y-" Hannah started as she took a large step forward before being stopped by the blonde.
"Hannah," Diana spoke as she pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "What was it you needed to tell me?"
"Right." The auburn-haired girl made a point to glare at Akko once more before she turned back to the blonde. "Due to all of the...chaos...yesterday, it seems we have failed to postpone your session with Mr. Giordano. He's just arrived," Hannah spoke, quickly returning to her panicked tone.
"That was today?!" Diana stood up abruptly, nearly knocking her chair over in the process. "But, Hannah, my violin is gone!"
"I know! But what were we supposed to do, Diana? Tell him to fly back to Italy?"
"Gone?" Akko spoke in surprise. She was ignored by both women as Diana began to pace.
"No. We can't ask him to do that. It'll be at least a year before I..." Diana slowed down her pace to a stop, her shoulders slumping before she looked at Hannah sadly. "We need need to think of something."
"Hey, what if-" Akko began, but was immediately cut off by Hannah.
"Barb and I can call around. I'm positive we can find you a replacement."
"But-" The brunette tried again. And failed again.
"Hannah, you know I would not be happy with any replacement you could get in this short amount of time."
"Hey!" Akko raised her voice this time, startling the pair, who looked back at her with wide eyes and mouths agape. "What about that?" She pointed to the wall behind where Diana stood.
Diana turned around and stared at the object Akko was pointing at. Her mother's violin hung on the wall framed by beautifully carved wood. The exquisite instrument had gone untouched since the passing of her mother.
"Your mother's violin? Diana, would that work?" Hannah moved to stand by her friend in front of the violin.
"I...suppose it could." Diana reached out and took the instrument and ran her fingers over the wood and strings as if it were some precious artifact that would crumble underneath her touch. The violin was almost identical to her own, only slight differences in the design of the scroll at the beginning of the neck distinguishing it from the other. "Hannah, where's my bow?" The blonde gripped the instrument firmly and with a determined expression she brought her gaze up to her friend.
"It's still in studio A, where you left it yesterday." Hannah let a hint of a smile show through at the change of demeanor from the blonde. "So, you're going through with the session, then?"
"Yes." Diana gave a confident nod before walking around her desk and toward the door. "Thank you, Hannah."
"Wait!" Akko half shouted before jumping out of her chair and grabbing onto the blonde's hand before she could exit. Diana stared wide eyed at their hands before bringing her gaze up to desperate ruby red eyes.
"Yes, Akko?"
"What-what about the song? You never gave me an answer."
"Akko, I..." Diana hesitated, biting down on the inside of her cheek as she mulled over the question once again in her mind. "I don't know if I'll have time."
"Well, I mean, it doesn't have to be right away. I can wait." Akko scrunched her face up in confusion as Diana sighed and looked down at the floor before shaking her head slowly.
"That's not..." the blonde said quietly before stopping, unable to find it in her to finish the sentence as her emotional stability was dropping lower with every second she held onto Akko's hand. This wasn't the time nor place for this conversation when she had a session in which she was already tardy. "I need to go. I'm sorry." Diana tried to pull away but the brunette's grip grew tighter.
"W-what if I took you out?" Akko's desperation was clear in her voice, her eyes widening when she replayed that question over again in her mind. She panicked as Diana's perfect eyebrow arched back at her. "I mean, not uh...out out. Like, not a date or anything. Just dinner! Or lunch! Or, uh… coffee. Friends!" The brunette said a little too loudly, wincing as she noticed the exasperated pair of women in the room jump slightly at the volume. "Just friends, ya know? Eating together or… whatever. We could just… talk about the song… as friends."
"Say friends again, Akko. I don't think you made yourself clear." Hannah deadpanned, rolling her eyes hard when the brunette stuck her tongue out in her direction.
Diana stepped between them quickly before things got out of hand. The two had never really liked each other in the first place, but they were at least civil toward each other at the academy for the blonde's sake. However, right now, in uncharted waters, Diana knew they had no reason to get along. She also knew if she didn't stop this conversation from escalating, they could be here all day, as neither Akko or Hannah had an off switch when it came to throwing jabs at each other.
"Hannah, would you mind running to the studio to retrieve my bow while I..." Diana nodded ever so slightly toward the brunette and pursed her lips. Hannah narrowed her eyes for a moment before nodding and reluctantly making her way out of the office. The blonde sighed as she watched her friend go until she noticed Akko shift nervously out of the corner of her eye. She chuckled softly before fully turning toward the brunette. "I guess there are things that will never change." 'Like how adorable you are' she wanted to add, but stopped herself, opting to just flash a warm half smile.
Akko visibly relaxed, the hand still holding Diana's loosening significantly as she sheepishly returned the smile from the blonde. Unlike the uncomfortable air between them just a few minutes ago, the brunette felt a strange comfort wash over her as they stood there gazing into each other's eyes. It seemed as though just being in Diana's presence was slowly cleansing her of the pain she'd been feeling for years. She found no judgment in those beautiful blue eyes. There was no hate, nor pity. No. What she found was another chance. A chance to make things right with the one person she regret letting go the most.
"Diana, would you join me for coffee some time?" Akko asked again, this time without rambling like a complete idiot.
Diana was silent for a moment, unable to keep an adoring grin from showing through at the sight of the puppy dog eyes assaulting her willpower.
"Very well. But you really need to let go of my hand now." The blonde smirked when Akko looked down at their hands in a panic and let go immediately as if she had been burned. She chuckled once more and led the brunette out of her office before closing the door. With one last smile she passed Akko turning to walk down the hallway before the brunette called out once more.
"Wait, how do I get a hold of you?"
"You know where I work," Diana called over her shoulder with a small wave before rounding a corner and disappearing out of sight.
Akko stared down the hallway with a goofy grin on her face for a long moment before she walked the opposite way toward the front doors. It took everything she had not to start skipping along happily, because she hadn't felt this way in a very long time. Today had gone better than she ever could have hoped for.
Before Akko left, she signed out of the visitors log and returned her badge at the receptionist's desk. The girl sitting there being the one who the brunette had sweet talked to let her pass in the first place. How lucky it was that the girl had been a fan of her band. Well, a fan of her band, or just a fan of her. She could tell the receptionist had been a little too nice with the looks she had given the brunette. With a wink, she turned and began to head toward the door but stopped in her tracks when she dug her hands into her pants pockets and didn't feel her keys. She began to panic as she then checked her jacket pockets with the same results. Akko turned her gaze toward the floor, eyes searching every inch of the reception area for anything shiny, not noticing the odd look coming from the girl at the desk.
"Is everything alright, Ms. Kagari?"
"My keys. I must have dropped them somewhere," Akko mumbled as she moved closer to the desk. "I need to go back to Diana's office. Please?" She flashed a pleading smile at the girl, hoping her charm hadn't run out just yet.
"Oh. Yeah, here's your badge back." The girl's blush came back full force under the weight of Akko's smile. "But please hurry." She brought her voice down to a whisper. "You're not supposed to be walking around unattended."
"No one will even notice me, I promise," the brunette whispered back before quickly making her way back down the hall.
Unfortunately for Akko, the office door was locked when she made it back. After cursing under her breath, she looked around, hoping to see anyone who was able to let her in, but the hallways were completely empty. She sighed heavily and began walking in the direction that Diana had disappeared in, hoping maybe she'd run into her and this unbelievably stupid problem could be fixed.
She turned the corner and was relieved to find studio doors lining the left side of the corridor and Akko was sure Diana had to be in one of them. As stealthily as she could, she began opening the doors one by one, but found them empty until she opened the fourth. When the door cracked opened the sound of a beautiful piano melody flooded out into the hallway and was soon accompanied by the slow haunting chords of a violin, the two instruments complimenting each other perfectly. The brunette peeked in, first seeing a lilac haired woman sitting in the control room, hovering over the endless amount of switches and knobs. Then looking farther into the room and past a large window of glass she saw a man sitting at a large black grand piano.
At last, she saw Diana, standing in the center of the studio with her violin held up elegantly. Akko smiled wistfully as she watched the pure emotion the blonde displayed, momentarily traveling to the past when things weren't so complicated.
Back at the academy, watching Diana play was one of her favorite things to do. She could have listened to the beautiful violin all day, every day if the blonde would have allowed her to. But it seemed the blonde would grow self conscious whenever Akko would catch her practicing after their classes had ended. So the brunette had found herself in this very position more times than she could count, standing outside of a door listening to Diana's gentle ministrations. Even after their falling out. She would never admit that to the blonde, though. Akko closed her eyes and tried to rid herself of the sudden guilt she felt, just like she had so many times before. After a moment she took a deep breath as she let the relaxing melody wash over her.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
Akko jumped at the sudden voice behind her, nearly headbutting the head just inches away from her own. The person let out a squeak of surprise as they jumped back before they could be knocked out. The brunette turned around, eyes growing wide when she saw exactly who it was before internally groaning.
"Hannah told me you were here." Barbara smirked back at a visibly nervous Akko before her eyes moved to the door that was still open a crack, the angle she was at letting her see Diana clearly. The black-haired girl furrowed her brows and turned back to the brunette, who was avoiding eye contact at all costs. "Why are you here, anyway?"
Akko worked her jaw as she stared at a particularly interesting spot on the wall, contemplating on how to answer that question. Wondering if she really knew the answer herself. At this point she wondered if being honest with Barbara would be the best solution. 'I was completely lost and depressed and came to see Diana on a whim because I just realized how much I missed her face,' just didn't seem like it would go over well.
"I-"
"Listen." The black haired girl cut Akko off almost immediately, "I don't really care why you're here, actually." She put a hand up, effectively shutting the brunette up. "What I do care about is Diana. Considering what happened the last time you two were in the same room, even if it was all those years ago, I hope you can understand why Hannah and I are very concerned about you showing up out of nowhere." Barbara glared at Akko in suspicion.
"I know, I get it." The brunette took a step back, holding both hands up in surrender before letting them fall to her sides in defeat as she thought back to that day, the day she had thrown away something so precious due to her selfishness.
Eight Years Ago…
Akko crept into the large auditorium, trying not to be seen by the performers or disturb the rest of the audience as she found an empty seat, only having to scoot past two people to get to it. After an apologetic look to the couple, she settled into her seat and looked up at the stage, eyes immediately landing on Diana, who sat off to one side. Blue eyes bore into to the brunette, who shifted uncomfortably in her seat, confused at the expression on the blonde's face. Sadness? Hurt?Disappointment? Akko didn't understand. She had made it, hadn't she? Soon she would find out she in fact hadn't made it, as the man with the microphone thanked the performers and the audience, followed by one more round of applause. The auditorium began to empty slowly as the audience either filed out the doors to the side or made their way up to the stage to praise the performers. But Akko did not move. She had missed Diana's performance, had missed her friend receiving the prestigious Luna Nova Award of Excellence, which was only given to one student a year.
To be frank, Akko felt like a shitty friend.
She could feel Diana's eyes on her so she reluctantly looked up to the stage just in time to see the blonde stand up from her chair and quickly walk behind the curtain and out of view. Akko stood up quickly and ran down the aisle way before hopping easily up onto the stage. She followed in the direction where the blonde had disappeared.
After asking a few people if they'd seen Diana, she found someone who had seen her walk through a door to one of the dressing rooms. Akko approached the door and stood there, hesitating for a moment before taking a few deep breaths and knocking softly.
"Di, it's Akko. Can I come in?"
She heard nothing but silence. After waiting for what seemed like forever, she wondered if Diana was actually in there so she tried the doorknob. It was unlocked, so she slowly opened the door until the blonde came into sight, sitting in front of a large mirror and staring at the brunette through the reflection. The brunette paused under the intense stare for a moment before walking into the room fully and closing the door behind her.
"Hey," Akko greeted nervously, voice barely above a whisper. When Diana didn't reply and looked away, the brunette rubbed the back of her neck and slumped. "I'm really sorry I was late."
"Are you really, though?" The blonde said coldly as she turned around, finally making eye contact with Akko since she had come in.
"Of course! Why-"
"Because if you were, this wouldn't keep happening!" Diana said loudly, pain evident in her tone. "You knew how important this was to me. And you..." A tear suddenly escaped and rolled down the blonde's cheek. "You don't seem to care about anyone but Andrew now."
"Seriously, this again?" A wave of anger flowed through Akko as she threw her hands up into the air.
"Yes, this again." Diana stood up, mirroring the brunette's irritated tone. "You started dating that jackass and suddenly nothing else is important! Akko, you've alienated yourself from everyone who cares about you-"
"That's not true." The brunette seethed as she took a step closer. "You're the only one who seems to have a problem with my relationship with Andrew. What is it? Are you jealous or something?"
"Pardon?"
"Ever since I started dating Andrew you've been so clingy and desperate for attention! So what is it? Did you want Andrew for yourself? Is that what this is about? Is that why you're trying to break us up?"
"Akko, I wouldn't-"
"You know what? Save it. I'm happy, Diana. And if you can't accept that, then maybe..." Akko turned toward the door, stuffing her hands in her pockets before closing her eyes. "Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore."
Barbara cleared her throat, pulling Akko swiftly out of her memories. With a slight shake of her head and a few blinks, she set her gaze on the impatient looking raven-haired girl as she tried to remember how to speak. The brunette tried to swallow but found her throat to be too dry. God, she needed a drink.
"My keys," Akko croaked out, finally remembering why she had come back in the first place and wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. "I think I dropped my keys in Diana's office, but it's locked."
"Oh." Barbara tilted her head slightly, confused at the change in the brunette's demeanor. "Yes, follow me."
Akko nodded and made to follow Barbara but stopped, peeking through the door just one more time to see Diana slowly drawing out one last note before the studio went silent. The blonde took a few deep breaths before finally opening her eyes, deep blue eyes that seemed to overflow with sadness. Akko closed the door slowly in an attempt to not draw any attention before she walked slowly back down the hallway after Barbara.
After grabbing her keys off of the floor of Diana's office, she watched as Barbara locked the door once more before mumbling a thank you and turning to leave, but before she could get very far, the raven-haired girl spoke up.
"Hey, Akko." Barbara fidgeted slightly with her keys as Akko turned around slowly, surprise evident on her face. "You know Han and I just want what's best for Diana. So please, whatever you do..." she trailed off, not exactly knowing how to finish.
The brunette grimaced slightly at the silent implication, but then smiled reassuringly.
"I will never hurt her again, I promise."
Akko turned to leave, missing Barbara's small smile, and walked quickly out of the building without another interruption. She finally made it to her car (with her keys this time) before unlocking it and getting in. But it took her a long moment to turn it on. "How could I have ever hurt her in the first place," she whispered to herself.
Before she felt something she hadn't in a very long time.
Inspiration.
Akko found inspiration in Diana.
Her mind ran a mile a minute as she dug her phone out of her pocket and opened her memo app before furiously typing the lyrics that had come to her. After she was done she silently stared at them, reading one line in particular over and over again.
Please give me a chance to make this right.
"Just hear me out, Han." Barbara took a sip out of her water bottle while gesturing wildly with her other hand.
Hannah groaned and rubbed her forehead as the raven-haired girl began one of her philosophical rants about her favorite book series. Diana watched them out of the corner of her eye as she sat at her computer, a hint of a smile showing through at the sight of Hannah's annoyance at hearing about that book for what had to be the millionth time. As the blonde typed on her computer and listened to the ramblings, she couldn't keep her mind from wandering back to earlier that day and the girl that had unexpectedly come back into her life.
Diana had imagined what it would be like to see the Japanese girl again. Even really hoped for it at a lot of points throughout the years. But she didn't expect to instantly be drawn into those crimson eyes like she had, to be immediately taken by the girl's charm like she had so many times before. She could tell that Akko had been trying to hide her guilt, because even after such a long time apart, the girl still wore her heart on her sleeve no matter how hard she tried not to. But the most surprising aspect of the visit was the brunette's request.
The song.
She'd be lying if she said the prospect of writing a song with Akko didn't intrigue her. It would be an odd collaboration, sure, but ever since she said goodbye to the brunette that morning, only one phrase had been running through her mind.
"Make sure the time you have left is worth it."
Diana had been so lost, so confused on how she could make the rest of her time worth it. Until she found the answer waiting in her office for her this morning as if it had been destiny. A very beautiful, charming, goofy answer. Who would have known?
"You seem to be in a much better mood."
Hannah's voice interrupted her thoughts, only now noticing that she had stopped typing and was just staring blankly at the computer screen. The blonde looked over at the two girls smiling knowingly back at her.
"Yeah, what's got you smiling like that, Diana?" Barbara asked, tilting her head slightly as if she didn't already know.
Diana's face began to grow warmer as she felt a blush overtake her features. The pair of girls on the other side of the desk smiled a little brighter after noticing the blonde's very rosy cheeks.
"I'm sure I have no idea what you're going on about."
Hannah and Barbara failed to hide their smirks as Diana turned her flustered gaze back to her computer. The two looked at each other in silent conversation before opening their lunches, containers of salad they'd bought from their favorite close by restaurant.
"Akko looked good today, didn't she Barb?" The auburn-haired girl took her first bite, eyes flickering up to the blonde to gauge her reaction.
"Mm." Barbara nodded her head as she chewed before swallowing. "She looked very good, Han. I wonder if she's taken?" She looked toward Hannah, whose eyes widened as her lips twitched, clearly trying to hold back a laugh.
"I didn't realize you had a thing for Japanese girls, Barb."
Barbara let out an undignified snort before covering her mouth in shock. Hannah covered her own mouth to hide her snickering before they remembered the other person in the room. Slowly, they turned their heads toward Diana, who was staring back at them, clearly unimpressed with their conversation.
"I'm not into Japanese girls," Barbara stated nervously, putting her hands up in her defense making the blonde roll her eyes and turn back to her computer, but failing to hold back a small smile.
"Even if you were, Barbara, I doubt it would matter. You know as well as I do that she doesn't look at other girls that way."
Hannah and Barbara both opened their mouths to say something but closed them quickly. With furrowed brows they gave each other surprised looks, looks that screamed 'she really doesn't know?!' You didn't have to be a fan of Akko's band or Akko herself to have heard the rumors regarding her sexuality. While the gossip had died down as of late, there was a time where she was followed constantly after her supposed 'messy' breakup with Andrew Hanbridge, although one should never believe everything they see in the tabloids. But both Hannah and Barbara had seen the way Akko had looked at Diana today. It was completely different from the way she used to look at her. Something had definitely changed and the blonde was absolutely oblivious to it, stuck with the memories of Akko from the past. That clueless, idiotic Japanese girl who hadn't seen what was right in front of her. To Diana, Akko was still that girl.
"... and if she did look at girls that way?" The raven haired girl asked hesitantly.
"... you just said you weren't..." The blonde's eyes went wide as she stared at Barbara in disbelief.
"Diana, no." Hannah groaned as she rubbed her forehead in frustration while the girl next to her face palmed. "You. What if she looked at you that way?"
"No. No, that's..." Diana trailed off for a moment as her mind began to race. She didn't believe Akko would actually look at her that way due to their past experiences. The brunette never seemed to notice the subtle hints she threw her way, the soft touches of their hands or the adoring smiles the blonde would catch herself flashing at the Japanese girl. Why would it be any different now? Of course, if Akko looked at her like that she'd be happy, ecstatic even, but nothing would ever come of it. While it would bring Diana true happiness, it would only bring suffering to anyone she opened herself to. In that moment she vowed to keep the walls she'd built up over the years standing, to reinforce them even in order to protect herself as well as anyone who tried to knock them down. What if Akko looked at her that way? In all honesty, it would shatter her heart into pieces. "That's impossible. She wouldn't."
"But-" Barbara started, but that thought was immediately cut off.
"But nothing. She wouldn't," Diana said a little louder with a tone of finality as she went back to work on her computer. 'She can't. I won't let that happen,' were her final thoughts before once again losing herself in her work.
Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed!
See you next week!