Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.
Things England isn't allowed to do:
1. I'm not allowed to make a unicorn army and then send it against France.
-...knowing France he may scare the poor unicorns for life.
2. I'm not allowed to pretend that I don't understand what is being said to me when someone is talking to me using America's version of English.
-That's quite childish of me.
3. I'm not allowed to teach Canada how to be a pirate.
-It will bring out his bad side.
4. I'm not allowed to curse the fools who want me to dress up as a waiter.
-Or a police officer.
-They are all sick.
5. I'm not allowed to help Switzerland with protecting Lichtenstein from France.
- Even thou it will give me a reason to start a war against France.
6. I'm not allowed to try and save Austria from Hungary.
-Or Russia from Belarus.
-...may their souls rest in peace.
7. I'm not allowed to tie France up with red ribbons and then throw him in a pool full of sharks.
-Especially if it's for the sole reason of killing him.
8. I'm not allowed to go back in time via magic.
-That's cheating.
9. I'm not allowed to turn the other male nations into females just because I was bored.
- I'm not allowed to turn the female nations into males either.
10. I'm not allowed to open a portal to Hell and then throw Spain in.
-He will drag me with him.
11. I'm not allowed to make any comments about Scandinavia's shape.
-Especially if they are British humor.
12. I'm not allowed to make a nasty comment every time America calls me "The one on which the sun is afraid to shine".
-He doesn't know any better.
13. I'm not allowed to tie dynamite sticks and then send them to France.
-I'll send bombs with detonators instead.
14. I'm not allowed to curse anyone in seeing only pink unicorns for a week.
-Even if they had angered me.
15. I'm not allowed to tell Turkey that every frog turns into a princess when kissed.
-He will make me test that theory.
16. I'm not allowed to force the other nations into living with my siblings for a week.
-They will end up like me.
17. I'm not allowed to put any chibi potion in Russia's tea.
-He will eventually grow up and then my days will be numbered.
18. I'm not allowed to switch France's ducky with a carrot.
-...how is this going to kill him?
19. I'm not allowed to poke Russia with a ruler.
-Okay, if you are searching for nations with suicidal tendencies go to Austria, he married Hungary after all.
20. I'm not allowed to ask Greece what he thought about piracy.
-It is rather cruel way to remind him he wasn't free at the time.
21. I'm not allowed to send Prussia on a suicidal mission.
-Especially if it has something to do with Belarus.
-That's extremely cruel of me.
22. I'm not allowed to call the Eastern Europe nations "Asian spies".
-But they all came from Asia!
-Russia won't be amused.
23. I'm not allowed to speak with Bulgaria.
-He is still mad at me for cutting off some of his original territories and giving them to his neighbors.
-I wasn't the only one in on this but apparently he marked me for his glare target and nothing will change.
24. I'm not allowed to give Spain the wrong location for a world meeting.
-That's quite childish of me, but I'm still going to find a loophole for this rule!
25. I'm not allowed to call Cyprus "Turkey and Greece's love child".
-Greece won't be amused...he is named Heracles for a reason.
26. I'm not allowed to make any jokes about the governments of others.
-They can make the same jokes about mine as well.
27. I'm not allowed to propose that Lithuania and Belarus should marry.
-The poor fellow is blinded by love and will actually agree.
28. I'm not allowed to call Cuba "my precious son".
-Especially if it's only to spite America.
-Cuba will be freaked out.
29. I'm not allowed to have a "James Bond" spy mode.
-The grumpy one will become even grumpier.
30. I'm not allowed to claim that the oceans are attacking us.
-Well officially speaking they're not, but practically they are.
-It will cause panic.
Reviews are welcomed, flames, on the other hand, are not.