Disclaimer: None of this is really mine.. I'm just the poor author..

Dear diary,

Like I told you, I went to Djosé today. Gippal was working on one of his 'great' ideas and wanted my help. I don't really know why he wanted me there. I wasn't as good with machina as all his employees so he could just ask them to help.

Later I realised we weren't going to work with machina. He explained to me that last night 'something' happened that made him realise that he didn't want to be with his girlfriend anymore. From that moment on I had to swallow my anger. The memories of that night came rushing through my mind.

He never told me why he wanted to get rid of her. Was it because he wanted to be free.. to be available to all the girls? Or was it because that girl last night… was the right one? If I had to chose… I'd rather want him to be available to all the girls. Might seem selfish but at least then I'd still stand a chance. To bad I never found the nerve to ask.

Anyways his plan was to kiss me at the moment his girl walked in. Now any other might have said no, but this was Gippal. The same Gippal I've been longing to kiss for years. This wasn't exactly the place nor the reason I had in mind, but it was better than nothing, right?

Now, don't think I never struggled with my inner-Rikku. I thought 'this isn't right' every step of the way. Yet somehow I managed to push those thoughts away every time.

So like we planned, we would be in his tent, kissing while waiting for his girlfriend to come in. He said he was sure she'd come so I believed him.

I felt uneasy at first but he treated me as if I were the one. He slowly walked towards me and softly caressed my cheek with his fingers before he leaned in. I couldn't help but wondering, does he make every girl feel like this? And if he does, is that the reason why everybody refuses to believe that they were just 'one of them'.

I guess at that time, I refused to believe I was just one of them either. I was so caught up, I didn't even notice that there was something wrong until Gippal stopped kissing me. All I could hear was "Wait, I can explain..." before he ran off.

I was left there alone. I was so angry with him, why did he run after his girl when all he wanted was to get rid of her? It just didn't make sense. Now, I was the one who was crying. It was then I realised I really was just one of them. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be sitting there, crying.

An hour later Gippal showed up again. I could see from his face that he was surprised to find that I was still there. It's not like I had a choice, it was arranged that he'd bring me back to Besaid after we were done.

All he could say was "I'm sorry… but my plan didn't work." He sat down beside me and started to explain. That girl, was the girl from last night. He started to tell everything that had happened, that she didn't let him, what she said.

I had trouble with controlling myself. I was hurt enough last night by seeing it. I didn't' want to go through this all over again. Believe me, the love that hurts the most, is not the unanswered one. It is the one where you see the one you love… make love to everyone… everyone but you. And after, he just finds it necessary to come and tell you all about it.

Part of me wanted out… that was also the part that wanted to spit on him for being such an ignorant fool. But the other part, the part of me that was in love with him , the biggest part, made me stay. Stay and listen.

I comforted him and gave him advice all through the night. Not that I think that my advice will be taken serious but… a girl can try, right ? He's asleep now. His head is resting on my lap. You should see how peaceful it looks. He doesn't even look like a player right now. He seems so innocent…

Cid must be worried by now. He doesn't know I'm staying for the night… I guess Gippal just forgot that he had to take me home… I'll probably will get my ass kicked for this… but it's worth it.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Goodnight.