This chapter is crazy long by my standards. Thanks to my beta, waiting4morning. She remains the best at beating off adverbs and western-isms with her wiffle bat of editorial splendor.
Hope you enjoy!
ONE
"Uzumaki Kushina." She repeated her name for the two guards because they had yet to respond to her. "I need to report to Sandaime as soon as possible."
"S-sarutobi-sama..." The chuunin with the bandage over his nose looked even more stricken than before.
"Sarutobi-sama was killed by Orochimaru," Chuunin Number 2 said quietly, his voice quavering a little.
Kushina blinked a few times, waiting for that reality to register in her mind. The expected wave of grief didn't come, so she moved on.
"So the rumors are true. Who's the new Hokage? I need to make my report." She felt a little cold because of the unconcern in her voice, but she had this planned out and wouldn't be derailed so easily. Make a report, find Naruto. It didn't really matter who that report was to - the goal was finding her son. And then what? That would come to her in time.
The chuunin with the nose bandage, Number 1, seemed a little blindsided by her response too. "A report, you say? Why would you need to report...?"
"I've been on a mission—we're still supposed to report back after missions, right?" Apparently he didn't recognize her at all; that was probably for the best. They had definitely recognized the name though.
"You did say Uzumaki, right?" Number 2, the one with Mutant Bangs, flicked through a clipboard list of names, shaking his head slightly.
"Oh, she definitely said Uzumaki." Nose Bandage was staring at her with a mixture of awe and suspicion.
"You're not on my list..." Mutant Bangs sounded completely unsurprised.
"It was a... long-term mission; they should have info on it at Hokage Tower." Kushina didn't feel like explaining herself just now. "Who's the new Hokage?" She tried the question again, but got the same response - nothing. They just glanced at one another.
"What should we do with her?"
"Take her to Iruka, I guess?"
Who the hell was Iruka? The new kage? Growing impatient, Kushina crossed her arms and decided to let them know what was up. "Listen, I don't need an escort, just put me on the books and I can find my own way to the Tower - I've been there often enough. Unless you moved it in the last thirteen years, I think I'll be okay."
"No, no - I think one of us should take you. I'll go, you stay here Kotetsu." Mutant Bangs, Number 2 stood up at this, foisting his clipboard upon Nose Bandage - Kotetsu, she corrected herself.
"Hey, I'm not going to miss this - should prove interesting." Kotetsu stood now, laughing a little. "You stay here, Izumo, you're the clipboard guy."
Izumo leaned toward Kotetsu and spoke in a whisper that was nonetheless completely audible to Kushina. "I'll fill you in later, just chill, okay?"
Why her appearance should cause drama not-to-be-missed by these two was completely beyond Kushina. She just needed to report on her mission, after all - unless, of course, they had categorized her as a "Missing Nin" during her twelve-year absence. That thought had never occurred to her before, and she didn't like the way it lolled across her mind now. Well, best to get this done soon and preferably without an audience. These two didn't seem to be treating her like a threat, far from it, they were completely ignoring her in favor of dickering with one another.
Shrugging, Kushina turned away and began to walk toward the last known location of Hokage Tower. Once she was about a block away, she heard a shout of alarm from one of the chuunin and heard footfalls catching up with her. Apparently Izumo had won the argument, because it was he that drew up alongside Kushina as they rounded the corner where Ichiraku ramen still stood.
It looked like the shop had a new awning, but the same irresistible smells were wafting out to her. Maybe she'd have to visit there after finding Naruto - she wondered idly if he would like her old favorite restaurant. An unfamiliar girl was serving the two customers on the stools out front, but she could see a well-known grey head bent over the soup pots.
"Oi, Teuchi-niisan!" The head shot up at her shout. She waved at the noodle-maker, who was considerably more wrinkled than the last time Kushina had seen him. She flashed him a patented Uzumaki grin. The look on his face was beyond shocked. She had to keep walking to keep with her chuunin escort, but as she walked out of sight of the ramen stand, she heard a large clang and sploosh as if Teuchi had dropped whatever he was carrying. Dang.
Kushina grimaced and addressed Izumo, "Whoops - guess that wasn't the best idea ever." Izumo's eyes were wide and he let out a nervous little laugh that Kushina took to mean "you may be certifiably insane, I haven't decided yet." Oh well, Kushina could handle that.
The streets were painfully familiar, growing ever more so as she approached the building that had once been her home - her home with Minato. That too seemed to clang around in her head eliciting very little response. She tucked it away with the news about Sarutobi - to be dealt with at a later date. One thing at a time.
Aside from a slight jab at the sight of her almost-husband's face on the mountain, she made it to the tower with her psyche in tact. Good job, Kushina, keep it up! It helped that the interior of the building was painted a sedate off-white. Everything had been blue while Minato had been there.
Izumo took her past the Hokage's main office. So this Iruka wasn't Hokage after all—perhaps someone who was handling mission assignments temporarily? She had noticed there were still only four faces on the cliff, watching over the village - maybe the position was still unfilled? That didn't bode well.
She ended up in the assignments room. The table which normally held a full panel of people who gave out ninja assignments was almost empty. One man, a chuunin at least judging by his uniform, was sitting to one side of the Hokage's chair which dominated the dais. He had a pony-tail and a cute little scar across his nose. Kushina judged him to be early twenties - just a kid really. He seemed to have been caught in a cloudburst of paperwork because files and forms littered the table.
Iruka glanced up at her entrance and the expression on his face left no room for doubt. Here was one person who recognized her. First the kid just looked harried and overworked, but upon seeing her, a vague confusion soon gave way to recognition then disbelief.
"You!" It almost sounded like an accusation. Iruka shot out of his chair, then looked a little abashed. "Wait - who are you?"
Izumo had a sly grin on his face as he answered. "Uzumaki Kushina - she wants to report back in from a mission."
Iruka blinked rapidly for a moment as if trying to banish troublesome images from the corners of his eyes. "Uzumaki... you--" He paused to swallow. "You're Naruto's... mother." It wasn't a question, but Kushina answered anyway.
"Yes, I suppose I am." She tried to give him a grin, but felt it fall flat. Izumo was giving her a "ha! I caught you!" sort of look that made her want to shout at him, but Iruka's face was inscrutable.
"Izumo, thanks for bringing her by; you can go back to your post." Iruka nodded toward his fellow chuunin.
"Oh, hai, taichou; right away, taichou." Izumo's voice was toxic with fond sarcasm as he popped Iruka a goofy little salute.
"Will ya get outta here, ya dingbat?"
"Oh, come on Iruka-kun!"
Iruka gave him a warning glare in response, and Izumo conceded with a shrug and exited, hands in pockets.
"Sorry about that…" Iruka absently straightened papers on the table for a moment after Izumo left the room. "You said you need to report the results of a mission... Kushina-san?" He seemed unsure of how to address her.
"Yes, that's right. I figure there's paperwork to fill out or something, right?"
"Well, it's not here with the regular mission files, so why don't you follow me to the records room?" Iruka's tone was painfully businesslike—it made Kushina squirm ever so slightly. She didn't feel intimidated, but she did feel disapproved of.
"Sure, yeah, sounds good. I'd like to get it all out of the way sooner rather than later." She followed him out of the room, running her mouth a little to dispel the awkward twittering in her gut.
"Are you wanting to get on the road again, soon?" His question was loaded, and it rankled.
"Actually, I'm looking forward to seeing my son." She couldn't keep the defensive note out of her voice.
"Of course. He's a good kid, you know, Naruto is." Iruka's jaw was set, and his tone was almost defiant.
"Oh?" Kushina let Iruka lead the way into the records room, holding the silence, unsure if she should bite her tongue or speak her mind. She decided to go for the middle ground, "You sound pretty sure about that."
"I teach at the Academy. Naruto was in my class."
"Oh - really?" Kushina could hear the desperate interest in her voice. Sure this kid seemed to have a stick up his butt about something, but he had information. Information on her son. Questions started tumbling out of her before she had a chance to think through them. "Is he okay? What's he like? When did he graduate? Does he still look like his dad? Were they able to keep the Kyuubi at bay? Is he happy?" She clamped her mouth shut and spared Iruka a glance. He was looking up at her from a filing cabinet, a look of bald surprise on his face.
"Heh - which of those do you want me to answer first, Kushina-san?" The chuckle at the beginning of his response was encouraging.
"Whichever - any."
"Well, he graduated last year. Last I saw him, he was eating as enthusiastically as ever, if that's any indication of health. He's... happier than he used to be these days. He's - we'll he's a hyperactive knucklehead - but he's a good kid. And yes, he looks more and more like Yondaime every time I see him. He's on a team under Hatake Kakashi - they get a lot of assignments..." His voice trailed off, and he glanced at her again, frowning. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm..." Her own voice sounded pinched in her ears. Absently, she brushed at her cheek with her fingertips and was surprised to find tears there. She scrubbed at her eyes with the heel of her palm and swallowed down the catch in her voice. "Yes, I'm fine. Sorry, you were saying?"
"I don't remember - what other questions did you have?"
"Heh, I don't remember either... I just want to know everything. It's been a long time…. You said he's on a team under Kakashi-kun?" She laughed a little and shook her head at the way things come full circle. She remembered when Kakashi had been twelve years old and on a team under Minato.
"Yeah - though Kakashi-san is in the hospital currently." Iruka returned his attention to the files, and flipped through a few. "Here we go..." He pulled a manila folder from the back of the drawer and stood up, handing it to her. "You'll need to sign it and write up a full report on the... mission. Why it took so long and everything."
Ouch. She ignored the comment. "Can I write it up later? I'd like to see Naruto as soon as possible."
"Well, yes, but Naruto isn't in Konoha right now. He's on a mission."
"But I thought that Kakashi was in the hospital - what kind of mission is it?" She stuffed her concern over little Kakashi and her disappointment over Naruto's absence into the numb corner of her mind along with Sandaime and Minato. Maybe he'd be back in a day or so - after all, he's probably still a genin, it doesn't take long to paint a house or catch a cat.
"I don't have the details; I just know he's been gone for a month or so - it's something that came down from the council." There was some sympathy in his voice but not much. "If you don't mind me asking, where have you been all these years, Kushina-san?" This last seemed to pour out of him unbidden, and he flushed a little. "I mean, your son could have used some parents along the way. It's been hard on him being all alone like that…."
... all alone like that...
So that was Iruka's problem, he felt that she had been an irresponsible parent. She felt her hackles rising - a swift tingling that swept up her neck behind her ears and settled into her temples. She pursed her lips and clutched the folder like a shield.
"It was better than taking him with me all around the known universe on a crazy hunt for Whirlpool ninja. At least he had a village here to support him and love him – here they have his father's face on a mountain, for pete's sake! I couldn't have done better than that, even if I had stayed."
Iruka was shaking his head; the action slow and ominous.
"What?" Kushina frowned.
"It didn't work out that way Kushina-san."
"How do you mean?"
"Naruto hasn't had it easy these past years. He's a container for the Kyuubi - people aren't okay with that." His voice was patient, but it had a "you idiot" undertone to it. Kushina felt the floor begin to tilt under her feet. "He graduated from the Academy, sure, but he had the lowest grades in his class. He's struggled for a lot of years now, and he's come a long way, but he could have done so much better with some sort of knowledge of his parents..."
"But Minato..." Kushina gestured lamely at the ceiling - perhaps meaning to indicate Hokage Tower, perhaps the mountain behind it.
"He doesn't even know who his parents are, Kushina-san."
"Oh, hell..."
Breathing became difficult - like a whole team of heavy combat ninja were sitting on her chest. Like the air around her had suddenly become water, and she was the only one without gills. She dropped the folder she still held and placed her hands on her knees, leaning up against the filing cabinets behind her.
"Kushina-san, are you alright?"
Breathe, just breathe. Tuck this away - under Minato, and Sandaime, and little Kakashi in the hospital, and this Iruka guy's disapproval, just put Naruto there - his unhappiness, his loneliness - tuck it away...
Shit, it was too much. The numb corner of her brain wasn't big enough for her son. It wasn't big enough for her failure.
She couldn't do it, it all came spilling out - a torrential wave of guilt.
He doesn't even know who his parents are.
She slid to the floor, the file cabinet's handles ratcheting against her spine on the way down. Every expletive she knew came out in a hiss on her thin breath. There weren't enough words or enough air.