This chapter wasn't beta'd - so blame it on me! Sorry!
„Ahh.." Logan groans, slowly trying to move his body from the bed. The nightlong partying slowly catching up with his head.
Just like the past weeks, his live had been a spinning variation of club openings, beach parties and social gatherings turned ugly. 'Fun, fun, fun.. I am getting too old for this' he mused, grabbing the bottle of aspirinrolling on the ground.
Throwing back two of them, he tried to adjust his burning eyes and focus on his whereabouts. The interior design revealed that instead of being in his own yacht turned home, he woke up in a luxury hotel suite. His clothes strewn carelessly across the room, leading a distinguished path towards the bed he was now sitting on. He scratched his head and carefully took a closer look at the sleeping form next to him.
The small blonde girl was spread out leisurely on the bed, the crumbled hair and soft smile on her lips appeared to be an indication that he wasn't too drunk to just have stumbled to bed last night, or rather this morning. 'Not bad Logan' he thought grinning admiring. 'At least you don't loose your touch when things get rough.' Ironic really, considering that he didn't remember any of it.
He felt somewhat weary. These situations had slowly turned into regular occasions. What used to be nights of good fun involving drinking, recreational drug use and gorgeous women, somehow had gone over the edge.
" When did you get like this? It's like you've been going over to the dark side, bit by bit, so slowly that I didn't notice when you morphed into a full fledged jackass.!" - "So what, are we breaking up now? Huh? You want your best friend charm back?"
He remembered that argument with his best friend in High school like it was yesterday. He still felt the pang of guilt, remembering Duncan.
Over the course of the last weeks he had picked up the phone and dialed his number, only to never leave a message or just hang up.
Pain darkening his hazel eyes. He rather not scrutinize the sudden urge to contact his former best friend.
Knowingly he avoids analyzing his feelings. It would open up a whole different can of worms. Things he wasn't ready to face or ever wanted to be a part of.
Years of therapy taught him well: Denial is the way to go.
Quickly he discards the unpleasant memories and tries to mentally piece together the last 24 hours instead.
Getting up carefully, not to wake his generous host, he heads for the shower. The hot stream slowly lifting the fog on his mind.
As the pouring water washes over him, Logan leans his forehead against the cool tiles and closes his tired eyes - silently praying that the pictures shooting past his inner eye, were scenes from one of his movies.
The afternoon had started normal enough. Miguel and him, enjoying a late lunch at the hip oceanfront "Le grand bleu", were discussing their summer plans.
May had come, flooding the city with the yearly load of the rich, famous and wannabe's. Crowding their territory.
"How about that trip to Barbados, this year? We planned to do that for a while now. The house will be empty and we could just fly out there for a few weeks. Mingle with the locals and keep a low profile!" Miguel suggested. "Remember Valerie?"
Logan looked at him questioning? Valerie? Low Profile? Neither things he was necessarily familiar with.
"About this tall!" holding his arm up " Blonde, not that that really narrows it down for you" he chuckled.
"Long hair, blue eyes. British accent. Worked in PR for Emmanuel on that "Rave" opening back around Christmas."
Still Logan could only come up with a blank stare. "Valerie? – Mhhh – doesn't really ring a bell. Sounds good though" he smirked.
"No wonder you can't keep up. They all look the same, not just to you, Man. I am not sure where your infatuation for tiny petite blondes started and I am pretty sure I don't want to know! You need help! " He mocked his buddy.
A sudden wave of nausea hit Logan and his sunglass covered eyes darkened. Memories of his youth rushing to his mind.
Lilly, the whirlwind of pep, the party girl extraordinaire, the girl he loved more then live. ,His girl, the girl he saw lying dead by her parents pool through the power of the internet; and then her best friend, Veronica, his friend turned enemy, with wit, grace and determination, the girl that didn't let him get away with anything in public and yet was still so sweet and innocent when nobody was looking, the girl that didn't give up to find Lilly's murderer, who stood loyal to her father, who took all the crap she could, only to get to the bottom, to get to the truth. The girl he fell for just to be hit in the face over and over.
The girl that found what she was looking for. The truth that almost killed her.
Veronica, bruised and battered in front of the Neptune sheriff's department.
Tear streaks running down her face, burns on her cheek and hands, and eyes so full of fear and sadness that it made the nation cry.
The picture that made the cover of People magazine.
The picture of a girl that single-handedly destroyed all that was left of Logan Echolls.
Logan felt sick. He felt disoriented. A sudden headache rushing in.
He drowned the rest of his Pernod, trying to wash away the pain, and waved at the garcon to bring them another round.
Staring at Miguel he realized that his mouth was moving " That's my boy. You ok? You don't look too fresh!"
"I am okay" trying to focus on Miguel. " Listen, that trip sounds great. Round up a few people though. I don't need to go to a honeymoon location with you slacker. You're definitely not my type."
"Mmh – nothing a good dye job can't fix, baby!" batting his non existent girly eyes at him, both laughing out loud.
Logan already read the tabloid headline "Logan & Miguel – Love undercover"
His publicist would never let him live that one down.
The lunch continued uneventful. Here and there some friends stopped by the table to catch up and chat.
By 5 o'clock they were still sitting in the shade, by now with at least 20 people, most of them beautiful women, turning the small bistro into the apparent hot spot.
Champagne started flowing freely and the atmosphere was perfection.
The sun preparing to slowly start its decent, waves seemingly careful rolling unto the well groomed beach.
The tourists long gone to their respective hotel rooms, the promenade empty before the impending dinner rush.
Logan leaned back relaxed, letting the conversations wash over him.
This is why he lived here. Away from the noise and speed of New York and LA. More or less hiding from the past still hovering over the Echolls name back in the US.
Although the News 7 years ago made it around the world, Europe was too busy worrying about their own scandals than to seriously hold a grudge about something that happened a long time ago to some American cretin. Most people didn't even remember. For them he was Logan. Movie star. Period. Unfortunately Paparazzi were allowed to freelance and travel, so his publicist had his hands full to keep his decadence out of the tabloids in the US.
After all he was a celebrity. A-list no less. Not really remembering when the fuck he ever signed up to be on anybodies list.
He let his mind wander.
Logan had left Neptune as quickly as he could. The decision made easier by the press that set up tent around town.
The days following the unraveling of Lilly's murder turned into a spinning media frenzy. Ruthlessly forgetting that the people mainly involved were physically and mentally strained minors.
Logan did what he did best. He locked himself in his house and hid behind tequila. His regular outbreaks and fits were welcomed more than anything. It fed their urge to expose him as a non caring asshole. Portraying him as his parents son, aggressive, abusive and drunk.
His bitterness and hate quickly found a target.
Hell, it was easy. She always had been the target. And now even the radio and TV agreed with him.
Veronica Mars, on her own, solved a murder that supposedly had been solved two years ago. Damn her, the guy was in jail. But no. She had to go back. She had to find out about it all.
She turned his family into a joke. She turned him into a laughingstock.
She made him the casualty along the way. She played him like no one before.
Veronica beat him at his own game. And he hated her for it.
She stained any happy memory he had in his life. Lilly was a cheater, Veronica a bitch, his Dad a monster, and his mother a coward. And he? What was left for him?
She pulled the rug underneath him, leaving him with the shattered pieces of what used to resemble a life, even if it wasn't a perfect one.
One night, on a notion he packed his bags and moved into their apartment in New York. Not leaving a note for anybody. He figured it wouldn't take a scientist to find him, but he didn't care.
Logan just left. Blending in the crowd of the big city. Trying to breath. Trying to break free in a city without room. Caged in between skyscrapers, busy streets and a buzzing nightlife he finally found what he was looking for. Anonymity.
Keeping to himself he just hang around. No purpose, no goal, no nothing. Hatred turning to emptiness. Emptiness giving away to numbness.
He returned for four days during the trial to testify. Feeling nothing as he had to confess to the whole world that even the life of movie stars wasn't necessarily all cotton candy.
He felt like he was telling a story about a guy he once knew. Completely emotionally detached.
His friends were shocked. The shell of their former friend still showed physical attributes of what Logan used to be, although even that was a far stretch.
His eyes were dead, the usual mischievously sparkle was gone and made room for haunted dark orbs. He had lost too much weight, his lean body looking sick and tired. His whole body language haunted. Non of the lively, fidgeting Logan was left.
The young man on the witness stand was a stranger.
Veronica's heart broke all over again when she watched Logan. She had tried to contact him repeatedly, but he decided to ignore her. She couldn't really blame him. She knew she hurt him, but she wanted nothing but to repair the fragile bond. All her efforts were in vain.
Soon her lawyers suggested to stay away. His testimony would be too important. They didn't know which way he would lean.
It was too important for her to appear neutral.
It was impossible for her not to get emotionally involved. She spent nights crying herself to sleep. Nightmares hunting her. She felt helpless. Unable to fix anything. The turmoil of the past year was finally catching up with her. She was hospitalized for a few days – the emotional breakdown only an outside indicator for what was going down in her mind.
Duncan came to him one night. Trying to get him to talk, to no avail. He told him about everything that happened around. About school, his friends, this town. When Duncan started to tell him about Veronica a quick stab in his heart reminded him that he was still alive, but he chose to ignore it.
Time would heal all wounds, so they say. He was willing to give it a try.
Logan closed the book of Neptune and everybody in it. The chapters unfinished or not, could not be rectified. He was not willing to let anything from his past get in the way of his future.
A future he secretly dreaded.
Once the media calmed down, his live in New York began to establish itself as normal. School had never been his priority, so he saw no reason to enroll.
He lived his life, making new friends quickly and was steadily pulled into the glamour and glitz of all the other bored rich teens this city had to offer, slowly spiraling downwards. Loosing himself in a haze of partying, drinking and drugs.
It wasn't until about a year after the trial, that he got an amusing phone call. The publicity office, hired by his lawyer to protect his families privacy, called. Asking him for a meeting about a movie offer they had gotten for him.
Logan had laughed at them. Thinking it was nothing but another smear campaign to pull him out of hiding. To expose him. To ridicule him more.
They didn't go away. He tried to reason, he yelled, if he remembered correctly there was throwing of heavy items involved in the process, and finally he yielded. Decided that the only way to get rid of them, was to take the meeting with the production company.
They pitched their plan. He bitched them out.
Logan couldn't grasp why somebody was willing to cast an unknown man, with a name equal to poison in the public eye, in a major motion picture. Not to mention the fact, that he never had attended an acting class in his life.
They discussed, he auditioned, they offered, he refused. Blatantly obsessing about their motives.
That summer Duncan had moved to Boston, attending MIT. They had talked sporadically, but never about the past. They both new what was going on, on the surface of their lives, but any other topics were never touched. Logan told him about the movie unsure as to the motivation behind it. Duncan listened, not quite grasping what it was Logan wanted to hear.
Somehow, and not sure when, he came to the realization – who cares. it wasn't his money on the line. It was a welcome distraction from the boredom of the NY party nation. One way or another it would piss Aaron off.
The media attention had been insane. Everybody waiting to see if he would tank. He didn't. Apparently the genes succeeded.
By contract he made sure the name Echolls never appeared anywhere. Logan was born.
First name status was in style anyways.
More movies followed and within 5 years he had turned into a box office hit. The new generation of teen fans didn't care about his past. The people that may still remembered, quickly forgot that the million dollar smile, the killer abs and the sparkling eyes came with a high price.
He emerged into the media frenzy, bathing in the attention and was able to live up to his bad boy image daily. The string of parties, drunken brawls and girlfriends was documented in every tabloid. The check out counters were full of his pictures. Exiting clubs drunk, kissing different girls, fighting with friends, fighting with the press, leaving his house, leaving the gym, having lunch, having dinner, never alone. He surrounded himself with beautiful women. It didn't matter. It was all fun, fun, fun …
Logan was resigning to his fate quickly. He couldn't make a move without it making the news. It had never been different.
So what if somebody made money off of him? The pictures were always taken in public so he had no handle on lawsuits, they never came close enough to crowd him – his reputation being his best bodyguard. He couldn't stop those damn paparazzi anyways.
Logan loved his live. He partied like there was no tomorrow. The movie offers came irregularly and he only picked what he liked. He worked when he felt like it and the rest of the time he was living the good live.
One day, about two years ago, after spending a few months in France, he decided to stay. So he stayed. Never thinking about it twice.
Logan looked around the table "Well, I hate to break it you all, but we need a change of scenery! I've been sitting on that same chair for half a day now and my ass is not going to look pretty once I get up!" he grinned, winking at a cute blonde model-wanting-to-turn-actress who had been making puppy dog eyes at him all afternoon.
The whole group started to get up, chairs scooting, purses were grabbed. It was a noisy party, everybody telling everybody where to go next, what to do today, who to call…everybody had a relaxed smile on their face – the alcohol having done it's deed.
Logan looked around, smiling to himself, just taking in the surreal scene of 20 people chit chatting and moving around like a chicken without a head, unable to concentrate on anybody but themselves long enough to even come up with a constructive plan.
His eyes scanned the restaurant and the beach, the promenade slowly filling with people, ready to begin the night. He could feel the heaviness of alcohol on his body, he felt grounded and floating at the same time. Smiling silly around, enjoying the night. 'that's what friends are all about. Having a chance to hang, to enjoy the same things, have fun.' Logan mused.
As he kept on checking the surroundings, his eyes suddenly seeing a reflection across the street. 'Great! Damn Paparazzi!'
He angrily stared in the direction of the camera, sending all the bad Karma he was having that way.
What was it with this people? Who gave a damn if he had lunch with a bunch of friends?
"What the FUCK!" He yelled across to him. People turning to find out what was going on.
"You want me to kick his ass?" Miguel asked "Because I can totally kick his ass" making some weird hand movement, which would only scare the waiter, who was trying to hold on to the filled glasses he was trying to serve.
"Miguel, the state you are in you would never even find his ass. Down boy! – It's not worth it."
"Okay, you guys ready?" somebody asked, getting a big cajoling "Yes, M'am" from everybody. "Well, Jimmy's it is then!"
"You want to drive all the way to Monaco? You're kidding me, right? " Logan sighed.
"Awwh, come on baby, you don't have to drive!" –"Yeah, and that's a good thing"
As they were leaving he tried again to focus on the black figure in the shadow. The camera still in hand, ready to get that money shot.
"Fuck you!" he yelled once more, looking right into the camera and flipping the photographer off.
"Gotcha! I am so glad you are still as predictable as always." Veronica mumbled as she left the shadow and headed for the car.