Disclamer: Everyone knows that I do not own any of the characters.

Breakfast, the Most Unpleasant Meal of the Day

It was about 7:00 and all the other smashers had woken up and were down in the dining hall for breakfast. The only three missing were Link and Zelda, who most assumed were in a dark closet somewhere making out, and Kirby, who was in the bathroom throwing up. Pichu and YL were setting the table as the others chatted among themselves.

It had taken a good 10 minutes, and 3 days worth of food, before Kirby was satisfied and left the kitchen. During that time, Pichu had gone through two wash cycles and was beginning his third when YL was finally able to get him out.

"So we only had 20 minutes to make breakfast after cleaning up the whole mess and getting changed. Do you know how hard it is to prepare food for 48 starving pigs in 20 minutes!?" YL was ranting on and on to Toon Link (TL), who was helping set the table.

"You said that about 14 times now." TL sighed as he put down a plate of roasted goombas smothered in chu jelly. "And what in the name of Nayru is this?"

"Hey-a, Pichu, why-a does your-a head smell like-a dishwater?" Luigi asked innocently as Pichu passed him with a bowl of mashed onions.

"If you say another word about that I swear I will serve YOU for breakfast tomorrow." Pichu glared daggers at the terrified plumber before returning to his job.

"Mama-mia. I-a think-a I've been scarred for-a life." Luigi walked off disturbed.

The other smashers were conversing with one another, unaware of that morning's shenanigans. Mario and Peach were discussing mushrooms and their potential as cooking utensils, the Ice Climbers were freezing each other, and all sorts of other random nonsense was afoot.

"So I was thinking of trying to hook Fox up with another girl. You know, so he'll stop fussing over Krystal not being in Brawl and everything." Falco was conversing with Marth and Ike, and well out of Fox's earshot.

"What a coincidence. I was just thinking the same thing about Marth." Ike pointed at his companion.

"I already have a girlfriend." Marth pointed out.

"How many times do I have to remind you that she broke up with you last week. Remember that…uncomfortable phone call?" Ike shuddered a little.

"I think the entire mansion remembers that." Falco shuddered a little too. "I mean, we had to call the G&W fire squad and…"

"Yeah yeah. That's enough of that." Marth quickly interrupted. "So fine, I don't have a girlfriend anymore. But still, it's not like I'd be able to date anyone here."

"But I thought you had a crush on…" Falco began to say before getting smashed into a nearby wall, creating an impressive hole.

"What did you do that for? All he was going to say was that you had a crush on Sheik." Ike stated.

"SHUT UP! The last thing I want is for her to find out tha…"

"Find out what?" Sheik appeared behind Marth, cutting him off.

"Find out that… uh, um, well, uh, uh…" Marth looked ready to faint.

At that time, Falco climbed out of the hole in the wall, fairly ticked off. "He's just saying that..." Marth smashed him into another wall, creating another impressive hole. At this point, at least 15 people were watching the conversation.

"Uh…you know what? I gotta go. Now." Marth dashed to the other side of the hall.

"Well that was peculiar." Sheik said to herself before vanishing somewhere.

The crowd that had gathered to watch them now dispersed as Falco climbed out of the other hole.

"Now I'm REALLY pissed off." Falco dusted the debris off his clothes.

"What about Barbara?" Ike asked suddenly.

"Who?" Falco stared at him confused.

"You know, that rock star assist trophy?" Falco continued to stare at Ike funny. "For Fox?"

"Oh, as a girlfriend. You know what. I'm just gonna leave this whole girlfriend thing alone." Falco started to walk off.

"Why?" Ike asked.

"My neck tells me so." Falco massaged his neck, trying to lessen the pain from hitting the wall twice.

Meanwhile, somewhere else in the room, Zero Suit Samus (ZSS) had her hand full with her two not-so-secret admirers, literally.

"Hey! Loosen up would ya baby?" C. Falcon was desperately trying to make ZSS release her grip on his neck.

"Yeah babe, all I did was take a quick peek." Snake was being strangled equally hard.

"How many times do I have to repeat it to you two perverts that I am NOT INTERESTED!?" ZSS threw both men against the nearest wall, nearly flattening Pikachu in the process, before zapping both multiple times with her gun.

"Alright everyone, settle down. Breakfast is starting now." Master Hand popped in and took his seat at one end of the really long dining table.

"Yeah everyone. Listen to the big retina!" Crazy Hand popped in too and dropped down at the other end of the table, crushing his chair.

"Retina? I'm a glove." Master pointed out.

"I thought you were a contact lens." Crazy replied.

"Okay, that made so little sense it was nowhere near funny." Master said, getting impatient now.

While the two hands argued, everyone else took a seat along the table and began filling their plates. There was everything from scrambled eggs to fried potato gravy to a strange gelatinous goop that no one dared to touch. Well, Yoshi tried a little, and ended up joining Kirby in the bathroom.

Halfway through the meal, Zelda and Link teleported in and took their seats with the other Hylians.

"How long can it possibly take to have sex with each other?" Ganondorf asked with a mouthful of raw Alaskan beans.

"Cover your mouth when you eat, Ganon. Just because you find it acceptable to chew like the pig you are doesn't mean we all do." Zelda smirked as everyone within hearing range laughed at Ganondorf's expense.

"Hey, I'm a boar, not a pig. There's a difference! And you didn't answer me yet!" Ganondorf yelled at them.

"No one cares about that difference, Ganonpig." Link replied. "And no one respects you enough to answer your questions anyways." More laughter ensued.

"Swordsmen. What a pain." Ganondorf mumbled under his breath before returning his attention to the smoked primid on his plate. "What the hell are those clones serving us?"

"Pichu and I are not clones! And I'll have you know that smoked primid is a real delicacy that's hard to come by." YL retorted.

"Oh yeah? Well then you eat it!" Ganondorf pushed his plate towards YL and smirked at the grimace on his face.

"Hey, I'm grimacing because your pathetic loser germs have touched that." YL pushed the plate back with his napkin.

"Yeah. Right."

"You try cooking anything better with the few leftovers and random ingredients found lying around in the trash. That was all we had to work with!" At this, almost everyone, except the hands, ROB, Link, Zelda, and the two cooks, rushed to join Kirby and Yoshi in the bathroom.

"You didn't have to get so specific about the ingredients." Pichu mumbled under his breath.

"Really glad we missed breakfast." Link said before getting up to leave.

"Yeah. Let's make out some more." Zelda grabbed Link's hand and they teleported off.

"I am glad I do not have a stomach unit or ability to taste." ROB beeped before leaving too.

"Come on, we need to restock the kitchen." YL and Pichu grabbed some coins before leaving for the store.

"Why is it that every morning, something random happens and leaves us alone with a huge mess to clean up?" Master sighed.

"I dunno. But something's making me go all tingly inside!" Crazy exclaimed.

"Did you agree to house another party of rabid squirrels?" Master asked.

Crazy grinned, as much as a glove can.

"Did I say us? I meant you. You clean up this mess." Master pointed at the table before popping out leaving Crazy alone with 48 peoples worth of dirty dishes and unfinished "food". What was he thinking?

This is the result of too much ice cream...

Next Chapter will be:

Late Morning Hyjinxs

It will be even longer and thus will take longer to get out, but it'll be crazier too.