Sorry for the long wait. College work and being busy with my other story. Thanks everyone for reading and thanks for the review, SpaceCadet007. Don't worry, I have something special lined up for Zaraki but you'll have to wait and see!!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Bleach characters or songs which may occur.
But now back to….
A Day in the Life of….Yamamoto "Yama-jii" Genryuusai
Narration
(actions and sometimes my thoughts)
Day: Monday
Time: 6:00 am
Location: Captain-Commander's Headquarters
Everyday at 6:00am precisely, Head Captain-Commander Yamamoto does his morning exercises for an hour.
"So Yama-jii where are we going?"
"Well, we are going to the 7th squad barracks" (He says. He seems very excited and has a spring in his step)
"Why there?"
"Oh you'll see" (We walked to the 7th squad barracks and knocked on the door. A really, REALLY tall man, or fox or something in between, opened the door. I later found out that this was Komamura Saijin, 7th squad captain. He took one look at me then at Yama-jii but as soon as he saw him, he paled and quickly tried to close the door)
(Stopping the door from closing) "Saijin! That is no way to treat your superior! What is wrong with you?! Are you not pleased to see me?"
"…"
"Well??" (Yama-jii tapping his foot impatiently)
"I'm sorry sir but please! I know why you're here and I don't want to do it! It's too early!"
"Nonsense! It's never too early! Now come on!" (Dragging Saijin from the doorway, we all walked, well Yama-jii and Saijin shunpoed, with me over Saijin's shoulder, over towards the Sougyoku Hill)
"Right we've wasted enough time already, let's get down to it!" (Yama-jii was doing some stretches, whilst Saijin just stood there, sweat dripping down his face.)
"Ready?"
(sigh)"…Hai"
"…AND DANCE!"
Every day for the past century, Yama-jii practises ballet on the Sougyoku Hill with one of the captains. Today was 7th Captain Komamura Saijin's turn to be his dancing partner. Ever since Yama-jii went to the real world over a century ago and somehow saw a ballet show, he fell in love with the art form, so I asked him after practise why on earth he did it.
Day: Still Monday
Time: 7:05 am
Location: Sougyoku Hill
"So? Did you enjoy my performance?" (I thought for a moment, he was surprisingly good, but then again he has been practising for the past century! But if I said something bad then I don't know what he might do. This old dude is seriously unpredictable!)
"Yes, it was very impressive"
"Thank you my dear"
"I would just like to know why you decided to do ballet."
"Well now that's a story. It was, in your years, 1908 and I was on a mission to the real word when…"
(And he was off, as much as I was trying to listen, my mind just wandered off, whilst he was busy blabbing on)
"…and then I realised it was a man and so I …"
"…whoa, whoa, WHOA! What did you just say?!"
"What? The bit about me mistakenly kissing a man, oh that was nothing…"
(Nothing?? NOTHING? Is this man for real?)
When Yama-jii visited the theatre to see a show, he saw someone that caught his eye, a beautiful ballet dancer. After the show he snuck backstage and saw the dancer again. They chatted and had a laugh and then all of a sudden they shared a kiss but he soon realised minutes later that he had infact kissed a very feminine looking man called Yuki. Even though he vowed never to tell anyone, he still always told the story to anyone that would listen.
Day: Still Monday
Time: 12:00pm
Location: "Madam Aoi's Sky Light Tea house"
Every Monday, Yama-jii has tea and bento with his lieutenant at an exclusive tea house in the Sereitei only for the captains and lieutenants. He usually comes here to do business and today was no exception.
"Good afternoon, gentleman, oh….and ladies. Please take a seat"
PFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT!!
(An awkward silence)
"HA HA HA!! Just something to lighten the mood!"
(The three men and woman sitting at the table forced a smile and so did I. What just happened?)
"Yama-jii! Still as funny as always. That was an interesting joke but what did we all just sit on right now?" (A flamboyantly dressed man, with a straw hat laughed)
"It's what's called a "whoopee cushion" am I correct?"
(He looked at me for confirmation, I nodded, still a bit shocked at what happened)
"One of my subordinates brought some back for me from the real world. I thought I would test them out on you"
"Ermmm, that's very… kind of you sensei. Why are we here?" (The long white haired man looked at Yama-jii with a confused look on his face)
"Ah yes, well as you know it's our annual costume party tonight and we need to sort out the last few details, such as food etc etc."
"Well captain-commander, we have a list of things that we wanted you to look over." (The quiet lady with glasses and a huge book produced a piece of paper and gave it to Yama-jii.)
"That's what I love about Nanao-chan, she's so organised"
"Well someone has to be."
(Yama-jii skimmed over the details on the paper.)
The Seireitei's Monthly Costume Party Preparations
2nd Squad: Security (Note: Remember what happened last time.)
3rd Squad: Miscellaneous (Note: Lieutenant Kira has found the special tables and chairs you wanted from the Real World)
4th Squad: Food (Note: Captain Unohana is making her special Strawberry and Chocolate Surprise cake.)
5th Squad: Invitations (Note: Lieutenant Hinamori needs opinions on the two invitations that she's made.)
6th Squad: Venue (Note: Captain Kuchiki has kindly pulled a few strings and got us a top class venue, saying the last party we had was in an unsophisticated, dilapidated excuse for a building.)
7th Squad: Lighting (Note: Captain Komamura has to find another light sign because the shop made it wrong.)
8th Squad: Decorations (Note: Has to be some kind of flowers about the place, Captain Kyouraku insisted.)
9th Squad: Costumes (Note: Lieutenant Hisagi says it's last orders for any costumes left to be made so if you still need a costume, go and see him immediately.)
10th Squad: Alcohol (Note: Lieutenant Matsumoto is bringing her personal stash she saved at the insistence of Captain Hitsugaya because it is cluttering up his office.)
11th Squad: "Special entertainment" (Note: Not sure what it is but can guess it is not going to be good… or tasteful)
12th Squad: Staff (Note: Captain Kurotsuchi made the finally adjustments to the staff he has made and wants you go and look over them.)
13th Squad: Competition (Note: Still undecided about the competition prize.)
"Excellent! Everything is going smoothly. Right I need to go and check up on everyone and OH! I need to get my costume sorted! Thank you for coming."
(Everyone stood up as Yama-jii, got up and left from the table.)
Day:…forget the day, everyone knows it's still Monday!
Time: 1:00pm
Location: 9th squad barracks
"Here we are the 9th squad barracks, you wouldn't mind waiting out here while I sort out my costume arrangements because I want it to be a surprise you see."
(I nodded and watched as Yama-jii knocked on the wooden door. A man, quite attractive man if I don't mind saying, with a 69 tattoo on his face and a sleeveless top came to the door.)
"Captain-Commander!"(He quickly the deck as soon as he saw Yama-jii)
"Stand up Lieutenant Hisagi. I just need to go over my costume with you. You're not busy are you?"
"No, no not at all, please come on in."
(Yama-jii entered the building and in those 15 minutes I didn't know what they were discussing but I was very curious. Suddenly he emerged from the building.)
"Excellent, right can you deliver it to my headquarters as soon as it ready."
"Of course sir!"
(Yama-jii turned and looked at me with a bright grin across his face)
"Ok then we need to go and visit the 5th squad and 12th squad and by the time that's done it we will have more than enough time to prepare for the party, so let's get moving!"
Time: 1:45pm
Location: 5th squad lieutenant's room
"Ah Momo Hinamori, how are the invitations?"
"Captain-Commander!"
(A small lady, with her hair in a bun, dropped all her pieces of paper that she was holding and bowed low on the ground in front of Yama-jii, who let out a sigh.)
"I wish everyone would stop dropping down on the floor whenever I see them, it's annoying."
"B-but you're the captain-commander, it's out of respect that I do this"
"Yes, yes, so I'm the captain-commander, so what? Gosh, please just get up off the floor we haven't much time, I have come about the invitations."
"Oh yes invitations, I need you to look over at…hey is that a camera crew? What are they doing here? Sorry about my appearance, I bet I look really scruffy."
"No, no you look fine now, can we please…"
"But why are they here filming?"
(Hinamori was now directly in my face, staring at me with big wide eyes.)
"This is Pantera-33 and she is here filming a programme about captains in the Sereitei."
"Ermm, if you don't mind my asking but where is your captain?"
(Yama-jii was waving his hands furiously to stop me from speaking and to my horror I found out why.)
"C-C-Captain Aizen! He has been tricked to the dark side by Captain Ichimaru and Captain Tousen. He is a good and kind man, he would never do such evil things, so he was forced to do them and I know he will come back and…"
"SNAP OUT OF IT WOMAN!"
(Yama-jii started shaking Hinamori violently by the shoulders and he didn't stop until she calmed herself down. She quietly sat back down by her desk and began sorting out her invitations.)
"What just happened?" (I whispered quietly, not wanting to the woman to hear and have another 'episode')
"Aizen Sousuke was the 5th squad former captain. Along with Ichimaru Gin, 3rd squad captain and Tousen Kaname 9th squad captain, they seek to destroy the balance of peace and just do other acts of nastiness."
"I see, that's put a bit of a wrench in my programme since I can't interview them. Oh well."
"Anyway, the invitations please."
"Oh yes, here I can't decide between this one and this one."
(I looked over at the two invitations. One was white and black with a cartoon angel on one side and a cartoon devil on the other. The other one had a blue sky on half of the paper and red fire on the other side.)
"I think that the black and white one is better. Plus it's much cheaper to make."
"Ok then, I'll get lots made up and give them to all the squads."
"Brilliant, I'll be off now; I don't want to get in your way."
Time: 2:15pm
Location: Captain Kurotsuchi's Lab
"This is Captain Kurotsuchi's lab. I must warn you he is a strange looking fellow and I find him quite annoying at times but he is our only scientist and he is good at what he does so I have to put up with him.
(Yama-jii knocked on the door and I prepared myself for who should answer but I almost fell over in fright at the 'thing' I saw before me. He didn't look human at all, he looked like a monster. Ghost white skin, a weird pointed hat on his head and blue fingernails and to think that I have to follow him around for a day. Truly frightening.)
"Ah, Captain-Commander, what do I own this pleasure"
"I've come to look at the staff that you so kindly made for the party."
"Oh yes please do come in."
(We walked into the building. It was dark and creepy looking and lots of computer screens everywhere. Kurotsuchi guided us towards a row of tables with white cloth over the top, hiding whatever was underneath.)
"Prepare to be amazed, Captain-Commander."
(He pulled off the white sheet and there on the table lay 10 people. 5 women and 5 men, all dressed in black and white suits.)
"Mayuri, you have outdone yourself. I was expecting something that looked like those 'people' you have in the technological bureau but this what I was looking for."
"Why thank you and look they obey any command. Watch. Get up!"
(They all got up off they tables and stood in a row in front of us)
"Greet us"
"Good evening sir, welcome to the party, I hope you have a nice time."
"Very impressive Mayuri, let me try. Go get me a drink."
"Unrecognisable voice, set to destruction mode."
"What the hell?! Mayuri what have you done?"
"I don't understand, they were fine this morning!"
(They advanced towards us. One of the grabbed Yama-jii by the throat and starting chocking him. Another one pushed Mayuri into wall and one grabbed me and starting spinning me round.)
"SOMEBODY HELP!!"
Krsshhhhhhhhhhh!!
Time: 7:30pm
Location: Captain-commander's headquarters.
After many hours trying to stop Mayuri's rogue waiters and waitress, Yama-jii and I managed to escape and run back to his headquarters. The camera was eventually fixed after it was thrown against the wall by one of the zombie waiters. There was two hours left until the party and Yama-jii was getting ready.
"Miss Pantera, you may use one of the rooms over there to get ready."
"Thank you very much."
(I walked towards the room that Yama-jii pointed out and it was amazing. It was like a palace, the entire room was red. A huge and I mean HUGE bed was in the middle of the room. A tall mirror was sitting in the corner next to a massive wardrobe.)
"Alright guys out of here so I can get changed. OUT!"
Time: 9:25pm
Location: The Cherry Blossom
The Cherry Blossom is an exclusive club for nobility so 6th squad Captain Kuchiki was here very often. Due to his connections, the Monthly Shinigami Costume party was to be held here. The theme for the party was Good Guys and Bad Guys. Yama-jii and I arrived a bit later than expected.
"This helmet is a bit heavy."
"Well sir I think you look very good."
"Thank you Sasakibe"
(Yama-jii had dressed up as the mighty Thor and Sasakibe was dressed as Thor's evil brother Loki. I was walking next to them in my Wonder Woman costume, regretting it deeply as my camera man was giving me suggestive looks. This was my camera man for goodness sake! We were then greeted by one of the doormen.)
"Captain-Commander, Lieutenant Sasakibe, please come on, there's already some people in there."
(We all walked in and were amazed at how the place looked. Blue and red silk drapes were, well draped all over the room. Red flower petals were scattered on tables and the floor. Red and blue lights flashed and a giant disco ball hung in the middle of the ceiling. Giant statues of various heroes and bad guys dotted in the corners of the room. It all looked very nice. Yama-jii walked over to a group of people and introduced them.)
"Alright, let's me introduce you to everyone. Over here is Captain Kuchiki and his lieutenant Abarai Renji.
(Captain Kuchiki was Batman which seemed to suit him because from what I can tell from his eyes showing through his mask, he seemed a bit snooty and rude because he ended up walking off. Lieutenant Abarai was dressed as Gambit from the X-men. His hair was tied back into a low ponytail and was wearing a long brown trench coat over a black and pink outfit.)
"These lovely ladies here are Captain Unohana and Lieutenant Kotetsu."
(Captain Unohana seemed like a kind lady and she was dressed as a vampire. Her long black hair seemed to flow around her and made her face even paler with the white make up. Her lieutenant was dressed up as Supergirl. She was nervously pulling down her red skirt.)
"Ah more people come on!"
(He dragged me over to a werewolf a.k.a Captain Komamura and a gangster a.k.a Lieutenant Iba.)
"Saijin, why did you not make an effort, you just look the same."
"But I dyed my fur black and put on some ragged trousers, there really wasn't any other person I could go as."
"Very true anyway, enjoy the party!"
Time: 11:00pm
Location: The Cherry Blossom
All the captains, lieutenants and seated officers were all present at the Cherry Blossom for the costume party and it was in full swing. I went and mingled to see what I can find out about Yama-jii.
"Hey, hey, Wonder Woman come with me, come and meet the rest of the gang."
(I was grabbed by the arm by a drunken golden haired scantly clad Catwoman and was dragged over to a group of girls.)
"Hey girlies, look who I found,it's the...the ermm the ermmm"
"I'm Pantera-33, presenter of 'A Day in the Life of…' I'm going to be interviewing all the captains. Anyway who are you guys?"
"The woman dressed as Electra is Captain Soi-Fon, fairy here is Lieutenant Hinamori and I'm Kuchiki Rukia and as you can see I'm a pirate."
"Hi girls, I just wanted to find out a few things about the Captain-Commander, can I have some of your opinions of him. Miss Kuchiki?"
"Well I don't really know much about him apart from the story he told me about the ballet dan…"
"I've heard about that."
"Oh you heard it too. Well apart from that he's just a very wise and powerful old man."
"Thank you very much Miss Kuchiki. Miss Hinamori?"
"He's very scary."
"…"
"…"
"Oh is that it? Thank you Miss Hinamori. Miss Soi –Fon?"
"What?"
"Do you know anything about the Captain-Commander?"
"It would be rude and unprofessional to speak about my superiors in an unkindly manner."
"Ok then"
(It seems that no one knew much about Yama-jii. So much for that then.)
"Hey! I'm Matsumoto Rangiku and I'm Lieutenant of 10th squad and I'm Cat Woman, can you tell?"
(I slowly nodded my head just to humour her but she then grabbed onto my shoulders. Her sake drenched breath billowed in my face. Nice. )
"You know…you know what? You see those guys over there. Let's go talk to them! Cuz they are seriously cool guys and soooo hot as well but keep that to yourself ok."
"Ok"
(Again she grabbed me and pulled me towards a group of guys. I wish she hadn't.)
"Woohoo, look at this chick here! Now that's what you call a costume. Are you that presenter girl everyone was talking about?"
(A guy whom I remember as Lieutenant Saggy, no wait Hisagi, that's it. Lieutenant Hisagi. He was dressed as Zorro.)
"Yes I'm Pantera-33 and I'm hosting a…"
"Oi Hisagi-san! Stop hogging the hot chick all to yourself! Hey I'm Abarai Renji, 6th squad lieutenant, nice to meet ya."
(He winked suggestively. DEFINITELY shouldn't have worn this costume)
"Nice to meet you too."
"This is Kira Izuru, 3rd squad Lieutenant."
(A timid looking man was drinking some sake dressed as The Joker. A green wig was askew on his head and his make-up was starting to run down his face.)
"Alright everyone can I have your attention please! Welcome to this month's costume party. I hope you're all have a great time."
(A white haired man known as Captain Ukitake was dressed as Gandalf was on the stage warming up the crowd as I took my seat next to Yama-jii.)
"I think it's time for the best costume. And of course I'm going to win." (Yama-jii whispered into my ear. He seems very confident but there were some other people better dressed than him unless…)
"Right it's time for the best dressed Captain and Lieutenant. Alright we have Captain Commander and Lieutenant Sasakibe as Thor and Loki."
"Captain Soi-Fon and Lieutenant Marichyo as Electra and Al Capone"
"Lieutenant Kira as The Joker."
"Captain Unohana and Lieutenant Kotetsu as a vampire and Supergirl"
"Lieutenant Hinamori as a fairy"
"Captain Kuchiki and Lieutenant Abarai as Batman and Gambit"
"Captain Komamura and Lieutenant Iba as a werewolf and a gangster"
"Captain Kyouraku and Lieutenant Ise as Zeus and Poison Ivy."
"Lieutenant Hisagi as Zorro"
"Captain Hitsugaya and Lieutenant Matsumoto as Inuyasha and Catwoman"
"Captain Zaraki and Lieutenant Yachiru as Dracula and ermmm some sort of..."
"I'm Willy Wonka!"
"I see but this is good guys and bad guys theme."
"But he is good, the good man who makes lots of candy!"
"Ok then…anyway Captain Kurotsuchi and Lieutenant Kurotsuchi as The Phantom of the Opera and Mulan
"and Me and Kiyone and Sentarou as Gandalf, Frodo and…another Frodo. And the winner is…"
(Everyone was anxiously waiting for the results)
"Me!"
(We all looked up and saw who it was that interrupted the announcement and saw an intoxicated Ichigo dressed up as Superman but he forgot to put on the tights and top so he was just in the cape and pants.)
"Look, I told you I was gonna be on the show! Does everyone like my outfit, I made it myself!"
"Take it off!"
"Matsumoto! Be quiet otherwise I'll send you back to your room."
"Sowwy captain."
(Ichigo was doing a weird drunken dance across the stage, he was just about to pull down his pants when Soi-Fon tackled him to the ground and chucked him back out the window he came from. This is proving to be good footage.)
"Ahem! Anyway the winner of the prize is…
"It's me I know it is!" (Yama-jii was practically about to fall of his chair)
"Captain Hitsugaya and Lieutenant Matsumoto."
"WHAT?! But…but it was supposed to be me! I was supposed to win!!"
According to Yama-jii's lieutenant, every year Yama-jii kept winning the best costume award just because he was Captain-Commander but the other captains had finally lost patience with him and his unnecessary boasting after he won and decided that this year he wasn't going to win, much to Yama-jii's annoyance.
"Captain we won!!"
(Matsumoto hugged Hitsugaya and then collapsed on the floor whilst Hitsugaya, dressed up with a long white wig, cat ears, fangs and a red top and hakama, made his way to the stage to collect his prize.)
"Thank you very much everyone. I'm not one for speeches so I'll just leave it there."
"Thank you Hitsugaya and may I say look very adorable in that out…anyway here is your prize. It's a weekend at the famous Yuki Hot Springs for you and Matsumoto."
"…thank you very much. A weekend with Matsumoto at a hot spring. Thank.you.very.much"
"Don't complain Captain Hitsugaya, I wouldn't know any guy wouldn't want to spend time with that fine piece of ass."
"Scatter, Senbonzakura."
"CAPTAIN! WHY?!"
"Renji…you are so vulgar."
Time: 1:00am
Location: The Cherry Blossom
The party was slowly starting to wind down with a few of the captains leaving because of early starts in the morning. There was the 'special entertainment' that the 11th squad had come up with but it wasn't to their specification. It was too explicit to film, but all I will say is that it was that it was a stripper but it wasn't a woman but a man but some people there weren't really bothered from where I was standing and I did quite enjoy that myself. Now that is the end of this episode of 'A Day in the Life of…' Next time, I will be following 2nd squad Captain and Commander of the Special Forces Soi-Fon. Now I shall end the show with a special musical rendition from Yama-jii. Goodnight!
(Lights centred on. Somehow he has changed from his Thor outfit and changed into a black and white suit and a black fedora hat and cane. Big band music playing in the background as Yama-jii grabbed the microphone.)
And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain.
My friends, I'll say it clear;
I'll state my case of which I'm certain.
(He took of his hat and clutched it to his chest as he swayed slightly. Must be the sake.)
I've lived a life that's full -
I've travelled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Regrets? I've had a few, I planned each charted course -
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
(He was now joined on stage by Renji, Shuuhei and... BYAKUYA?! This is too strange. They all dressed the same as Yama-jii and were always swaying in time to the music.)
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.
I've loved, I've laughed and cried,
I've had my fill - my share of losing.
But now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
(The backing group were miming actions behind Yama-jii.)
To think I did all that, For what is a man? What has he got? Yes, it was my way.
And may I say, not in a shy way -
Oh no. Oh no, not me.
I did it my way.
If not himself - Then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way.
(Arms out stretched, Yama-jii ended the song. I have to admit, pretty impressive.)