Light crept through the fabric of the tent. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, looking up at the tent ceiling. A bit of a chill went through me, so I tried to curl the sleeping bag up around me. It wasn't moving.

'What?' I sat up, looking around. Koushiro had his back to me. His breathing was steady and slow. Sleeping. Looking at the sleeping bag, however, I figured out why it wouldn't move.

Apparently, we had zipped our sleeping bags together during the night. Also, I was without a shirt. I lifted the sleeping bag slowly, letting out a huge sigh of relief. Good. I still had pants on.

When did the sleeping bag happen? How did this happen?

What happened?

I felt around for my glasses, putting them on when I finally found them. I ran a hand through my hair, looking around. My shirt was at the entrance of the tent…as was Koushiro's. But, wait…were those…his…

Shit.

I started shaking him. He mumbled a few things, but didn't wake up. I shook him harder. "Izzy. Izzy, wake up. Come on. Wake up." He swatted at me a few times, but he eventually came to with a growl.

"What, Jyou? I'm sleeping."

"What happened last night?"

Izzy's black eyes squinted in the light. "Well, good morning to you, too." He put an arm over his face to block it out. "Nice to see you all chipper."

"Seriously, what happened last night?"

He shook his head, sitting up on his elbows. Yep. His shirt was definitely off. "Geez, Jyou. I knew you were in some strange sorts, but do you really not remember?"

Our eyes met, and the floodgates opened up. Everything rushed into the forefront of my mind. Us kissing. Kissing more. Moving into the tent. Zipping the sleeping bags together. More kissing. Nothing happened farther than that, but I begged for it. He was the one who said no. I lowered my eyes, putting my head in my hands. I couldn't believe how intoxicating it was to be with him. It was to the point of my brain being so fogged over that I couldn't remember what happened the next day. Something didn't add up, though. "Why are your pants off?"

"I got hot. You know I get hot when I sleep." Izzy touched my arm lightly. "Don't worry, nothing happened."

"Okay, good."

He sat up and put his arm around me. "'Good?' Really? That's surprising to hear, after you begged." He put his lips up to my ear. "'Come on, Izzy. Please.'"

I pushed him away. He laughed. "Lighten up, Jyou. I'm just teasing."

"Well, it's not funny."

He put his arm back around me and rested his head on my shoulder. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You're allowed to let yourself go. I just didn't want it to get too intense for your sake."

I turned my head. "My sake?"

He nodded. "I know what I want. You don't. I don't want you regretting anything."

I touched my forehead against his. It felt like I should regret what happened the night before. It made perfect sense to regret it. It shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't have even been a thought. But, it was a thought. It did happen, and I needed to deal with it. He felt so warm next to me, his fingers brushing my arm gently.

Did I want to regret it?

Yes.

Did I?

...Not at all.

Izzy was distracting me during our English final. It was my last final on my last day of school. I wanted it to be a day of focus but he was making it incredibly difficult. He was chewing on his eraser, his eyebrows scrunched together, concentrating. It made no sense to me for him to be focusing so hard, since he was fluent in the language. Self-taught, no less. I shook my head slightly. English was hard as hell. I didn't know how he did it.

Wait. Yes I did. He didn't want to leave his room. He stayed in his room, cutting himself off from the outside world. I read or played computer games when I wanted to stay in my room. He taught himself a new language. I wondered if he knew any other languages. I hadn't had a chance to ask him.

We hadn't really talked in the past week. We had been spending a lot of time together – nearly every moment we could, and even moments when we couldn't – but there wasn't much talking going on. Our tongues were occupied in other ways.

Side-glance. Damn. He caught me. I looked down at my paper, my cheeks turning red instantly. I saw him smirk out of the corner of my eye. Jitters.

"Kido," Mr. Tanaka snapped, staring at me over his glasses and his English copy of The Scarlet Letter. "Eyes on your paper."

"Sorry." Izzy snickered.

"Izumi."

"Sorry, sir," Izzy said sheepishly. I returned to my final, focused on answering everything to the best of my ability so I could get out of there and spend the rest of the day with him. We made plans to get some frozen yogurt, grab an old loaf of bread from Miyako's parents' convenience store/bakery, and go to our old spot to feed the ducks that always congregated there. The only problem with this plan was that I hadn't really told Miyako about what was going on. She was probably going to be confused and rather upset. Even though she was much younger than me, she was rather protective of my "fragile, little heart," as she liked to put it. I knew she would be there today, so this was going to be interesting for everyone involved.

"Thank you, Koushiro," Mr. Tanaka said as Izzy handed him his final. Of course he'd finish before me. Stupid fluency. I looked up over my glasses at him as he walked by. He touched my shoulder lightly. My breath caught. I cleared my throat and looked back at my paper, waiting for the letters to go back into focus. One more question. I could do this.

Explain the difference, in English, between a defining clause and a non-defining relative clause.

Fuck. I was going to be here until the bell rang if I didn't make something up. I looked at the clock. No end in sight. Scribbling a few incoherent things down, I swung my bag over my shoulder and gave Mr. Tanaka my test.

"Thank you, Jyou. Have a good rest of your life."

"Uh…thanks. You, too." He smiled and shook his head, returning to The Scarlet Letter. Trying to contain my excitement, I slowly walked out of the classroom and into my freedom. I stopped halfway down the hallway. Izzy was nowhere in sight. I turned around a few times. Nowhere. The hallway was empty.

"Hmm." I shrugged and continued down the hall. He must have gone up front. I didn't get very far, though. I was pulled into a side hall and shoved up against the wall. Cringing, I waited for a punch or something equal, but was met with a kiss instead. I laughed in surprise.

"Took you long enough," Izzy hummed against my lips.

"Yeah, well, not all of us are gods of language." I noticed he was standing on his tiptoes. He was so short. "You are so incredibly short."

He smacked my arm. "Shut up. You're freakishly tall."

I almost replied with, "Yeah, I've heard that from you before," but I stopped myself. No need to ruin a good day.

"Are you ready to go?" His eyes were glittering. I nodded with a smile. "Okay, then, let's go celebrate your last day in high school."

Miyako was working the counter when we came in. She was pouring over a magazine; no doubt a k-pop one with G-Dragon or someone like him on the cover. She fell in love with k-pop the year before and was slowly teaching herself Korean. I always admired her tenacity. If she wanted to learn Korean, she was going to learn Korean; no matter how long it took her to do so. I could hear a k-pop song playing softly from the little radio next to her. She looked up when the bells above the door rang, smiling when she saw me.

"Joseph!" She barreled from behind the counter and flung herself at me. I pulled her into a tight hug. It had been a few weeks since we'd seen each other. My excuse to her was that school was becoming a pain, but, really, it was because I was spending all of my time with Izzy.

Yes, I had taken to calling him Izzy again, both in my thoughts and out loud. It just seemed right after our camping trip. He really did seem to want to fix things, and, so far, fix things we had. It was as if we were best friends again. And, maybe we were. I was still keeping a part of myself on reserve in case things did take a turn for the worse, but every time he would look at me with those dark doe eyes, that part would become smaller and smaller. I could tell that if things kept going the way they were it would be non-existent.

"Hey," I said, rubbing her back. "How are you?"

She ended the hug and flipped her long, lavender hair behind her shoulders. "Fine, no thanks to you. Where have you been? You disappeared on me."

I shrugged. "I told you, school. It's been crazy." I heard Izzy cough behind me. He knew I was lying. I shot him a glare.

"Well, today was your last day, so you won't have that excuse for a whole month." She beamed. "I have a new cookie recipe that I want you to be a guinea pig on." She went back behind the counter to her post. She then noticed Izzy. I could see her eyes glitter behind her huge glasses.

Oh, no.

"And who might you be?" Miyako asked, her voice sugary sweet. I rolled my eyes. He just laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I guess it has been a while…you don't remember me, do you, Miyako?"

She cocked her head, crossing her arms. "Umm…no, not really. Should I?"

"I'd like to think so." He shrugged. "Maybe I'm wrong."

I pushed him on the shoulder. He let out a soft, "Hey!"

Miyako crossed her arms. "You two seem…cozy."

Time to come clean. "Miyako, this is…Izzy. Izzy, Miyako."

He did a fake bow. "Nice to meet you again, darling."

Her eyes filled up basically the whole circumference of her lenses. "Izzy…as in…Koushiro, right?"

He frowned slightly. "Well, yeah…but you don't have to call me that if you don't want to."

Miyako shot me a glare, leapt from behind the counter, and dragged me into the kitchen. The doors loudly swished behind her. "Jyou Kido, what the HELL are you doing?"

My breathing became ragged. I knew this was going to be tricky, but Miyako's wrath was something that was not to be reckoned with. Her face was becoming redder by the millisecond. She had me pinned up against a wall, her nose right in my face.

"Miyako, please-"

She stuck a finger in my face. "You have come crying to me for the past two years about how Koushiro's treated you. And yet, your last day of high school, you come waltzing in here, with him-" she pointed out at the front, "Looking all happy, like he's your best friend or something. What the hell is going on?"

I looked up, down, left, right, every place but her face. She grabbed my chin, which forced me to look at her. I bit my lip. "It's…complicated."

"Sure it is." Sarcasm.

"He was the one who wanted to fix things. He came to me. He's apologized, time and time again, for everything he's done. He's explained to me why he did it." I sighed. "It's taken some time, but I'm willing to give him a second chance."

She squinted. "Why, though? Why does he deserve another chance?"

"He doesn't," I said before the thought even registered.

She was silent for a while, never breaking eye contact. I could almost see the gears turning in her brain. She was trying to figure it all out. Yeah, good luck with that. I didn't even know why, and it was my life.

"You're being stupid," she said in a low growl. "Don't come crying to me when he fucks you over."

"Do you have any day old bread?"

That threw her off. "Wh-what?"

"Day old bread. Do you have any? That's the whole reason we came here."

Her right eyebrow twitched up a few times. Anyone who didn't know Miyako's subtleties wouldn't have picked up on it, but I did. That happened when she was in shock. It was as if her body froze, but needed to get that sudden burst of energy one gets when surprised out in some way. "No. It's already been sold." I could also tell she was lying by the pattern of her blinks. Three at a time. Lies.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Fine, Miyako. I'll just buy some new bread."

"We don't have any here. My parents are baking more at home." Multiples of three. More lies.

I laughed a little, pushed her aside gently, and walked out the swinging doors. Izzy was standing by the cooler, looking at the soda and tea selections. He must have been standing there a while because he looked utterly relieved to see me come out. "Finally," he said. "Let's get some bread and get out of here."

"Change of plans. No bread," I grabbed his elbow and dragged him out of the store. "Ice cream and straight to the creek."

"But what about-?"

"We can sit far enough on the bank of the creek to where the ducks can't get to us-"

"Jyou, stop-"

"They eat enough as it is-"

"Jyou-"

"They're just stupid duc-" He stepped in front of me, putting his hands on my chest to keep me from toppling him over.

"Jyou. Stop. Breathe." I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. He moved one of his hands to my cheek, caressing it lightly with his thumb. I leaned into it and smiled. "Better?" I nodded. "Good. Forget what just happened. Look at me." I obliged. "This is your day. You're done with high school, so we are going to make this a fun afternoon, okay?"

"You're done with high school too, Izzy."

He smiled, putting his arm around my shoulder and leading me down the sidewalk. "Minor detail. You're the one who's worked hard for this, not me. You deserve a day about you. Now," he let his arm down and touched my fingers with his. I looked over at him, eyes wide, my mouth slightly open. He was smirking, and his eyes were on fire. "What was this you said about ice cream?"

The sun was beginning to set when we got to the creek. It took us a while to find somewhere with just plain, basic ice cream flavors. We both just wanted vanilla, and we got assaulted with flavors like watermelon, tomato, and watermelon tomato (WHAT). Izzy was the one who found the rickety looking cart that was selling our precious vanilla. He bought us both double cones and we walked, hand in hand, to our destination.

I had Izzy hold my ice cream cone as we walked down the slant to the bank of the creek. I had a tendency to lose my footing and slide down. He always had better balance than I did, and had a lot more spring in his step. I smiled as I slid down, watching him tip toe sideways. I always attributed his balance to his short stature – he didn't have as much body to deal with. I was just a walking tripping hazard.

"Look, the rocks are still there," he said, pointing with his pinkie finger. We had somehow rolled two large rocks from pretty far down the creek to our spot under the bridge so we could sit on them when we were younger. And, there they were, still in the same place, albeit dusty from the dirt that had gathered over the years. Once I got my footing, I went over to the rocks and brushed them off, taking my ice cream cone from Izzy before I sat down. Our cones had started to drip. Izzy was trying to catch every little drop with his tongue, but some of it was getting on his fingers. He looked so intense while making sure he got all of it. He paused when he saw me looking at him, his pointer finger halfway in his mouth. "What?" he asked, taking his finger out.

Damn. He caught me. I shook my head. "Nothing." I felt my cheeks heat up. He smirked and went back to meticulously licking his fingers…this time, though, he didn't break eye contact. My breathing quickened.

"Quit."

Izzy laughed. "You like it."

I laughed a little, looking away. "Never said I didn't."

We ate our cones in silence, except for our giggles when we locked eyes while licking the ice cream. I wasn't the only one who's mind was going somewhere else.

"So, Jyou," he started after crunching his last bite of cone, "I feel like we should discuss Todai."

I stopped mid-bite and looked over at him. "What do you mean?"

He leaned back against the bridge, crossing his arms. "I mean, it's a big place…who knows where we're going to end up, and even if we'll ever see each other."

"We'll just have to figure that out when we get our class schedules and everything," I said. I had no idea where this was going. This seemed like a really odd conversation. "Wasn't that the plan anyway?"

He sighed, looking down at his shoes. He slipped them off. He then took his socks off and rolled up his slacks. "Izzy, what are you doing?"

"In all of the times we came here, we never put our feet in the water."

"Because it's cold and slimy and gross," I said matter-of-factly.

Izzy rolled his eyes. "See, that's it. You never want to take a risk." He walked into the creek. "Sure, it's muddy and gross, but it's cooling and…well, it's actually really refreshing."

I stared at him. I never took a risk?

…well, yeah, he was right. I always stuck with the plan. Good, old, reliable Jyou. Always stuck with doing the right thing. Never one to stray from the path. I watched him splash around. He was so child-like, a huge grin on his face, laughing, jumping around. I rested my chin on my hand. My life had always been so set in stone – go through school, get good grades, work hard, get into Todai, become a doctor, go on and do that for the rest of my life. It had all been planned out from the time I was little. I never veered away from that.

I never took a risk.

He stopped jumping around and looked over at me. He was breathing heavily, but that grin was still there.

I never took a risk until I took one on him.

He walked back up to me, taking my hands in his. "Come on, Jyou. Come play with me."

I blinked a few times, and then slipped off my shoes. Tugging off my socks and rolling up my pants, I joined him. The water was cold, the ground was slimy, and I really didn't like it, but I did it for him. I found myself laughing along with him as we jumped around in circles, splashing each other. By the time we were completely out of breath and had collapsed back on the rocks, we were both soaked head to toe. Our laughter died down. He rested his head on my shoulder.

"You took a risk. I'm so proud of you."

I kissed the top of his head. "Psh, that was nothing. I took a huge risk with you, and it's paid off. It seemed like the least I could do."

He sighed. "Jyou, come on." He adjusted himself so our eyes were level with each other. He looked so intense. "I know I was a risk, but I wasn't a 'huge' risk."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, okay, Izzy."

"We've fallen back into how we used to be fairly quickly. It couldn't have been that much of a risk."

My mouth fell open slightly. "You murdered me, Izzy. You know you did. I've told you. It was a MASSIVE risk for me to put myself back out there when it came to you." I paused. "Where did all of this risk talk come from?"

He bit his lip. "Well…I'm going to Europe for the summer break. With my parents, of course, but still…it's my graduation present, and I…well…I want to do something crazy while I'm there."

Europe? That was the first I'd heard of this. "Really? How long will you be gone?"

"The whole break."

"Oh," I said softly. Then, something clicked. "What do you mean by 'something crazy'?"

"I want…" he sighed again. "I want your permission."

"Permission to do what?"

He looked away. "To do anything."

"Which includes…?"

His hands started twitching in his lap. Something wasn't right about this whole thing.

"If I…" he started, and then cleared his throat. "If I meet someone while I'm there, I want your permission."

My heart sank. I felt tears instantly spring to my eyes. "You're…you're kidding me, right?"

He looked up. "Why would I be? I'm dead serious."

Everything in my body lit on fire. Sadness and shock made way for rage. I felt myself starting to shake. "You love me, though."

"And you don't love me. Which is why I'm asking."

I opened my mouth to speak, but my breath caught in my throat. I started coughing, which lead into uncontrollable, nearly maniacal laughter. "I don't know if I love you or not. There is a difference. Why would you think this would be okay for me? Did you expect me to jump at the chance to let you fuck someone else?"

He stood up and walked quickly toward the hill, leaving me on the rocks. I shook my head and walked next to him. "Don't you walk away from me, Izumi Koushiro. You started this, you need to finish it." He turned around abruptly, causing me to almost run into him. He stared up at me, his face as red as a cherry. I figured mine was as well.

"I don't understand why you won't let me. If you don't love me, what's the big deal?" There were hints of sarcasm and anger in his tone.

"What the hell do you want from me, Izzy? Do you want me to tell you I love you? You know I can't do that honestly."

He covered his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes. "I need to clear my head, Jyou. I need to figure things out for myself. I figured it might help. And if you would have let me explain my reasoning, I thought maybe it would make more sense."

I scoffed, crossing my arms. "Yeah, and me letting you fuck whoever you please while you gallivant across the EU is going to help you figure everything out."

He mumbled something under his breath. I thought I heard him say something that I could not believe he would even think to say, after everything I'd been through. "Can you repeat that? I didn't catch what you said."

Izzy shook his head. "No," I demanded, "say it. I want to make sure I heard you correctly."

He set his jaw, clenched his fists, and looked up at me through his impossibly long eyelashes. "You really want me to repeat it? I know you heard me."

"Say it."

"At least I'd be getting laid instead of this meaningless relationship."

I bit my lip, trying to contain my screams and my tears. "That's what I thought you said." I walked back over to the rocks and sat down. He started to walk over, but I put my hand up. He stopped. "You know why I can't give you that."

"I know."

"It brings up too much pain for me, and I can't-"

"GOD, JYOU, I KNOW. I know your sob story. I know why we can't have sex. Why we've never been able to have sex. It's not my fault your brother raped you. I love you – I always have – but I need something. I need this. I need physical contact. I crave it. You've always gotten me to that point, and then stopped. I can't take it. I need some time to clear my head and figure out whether or not I can live with your...issue."

I blinked a few times, stunned. How…how dare he. HOW DARE HE. I gave him everything. I gave myself back over to him. He knew exactly what he was getting into when he came to me again. He knew my limitations. He knew my history. He knew.

"You knew," I said softly. "You knew, and you said it was okay." I sniffed a few times. "You've always said it was okay."

"I lied."

It was at that moment that I broke. I started sobbing uncontrollably. My insides felt like they were going to burst out. I held onto my sides to keep that from happening. "I took a risk. I took you back in. And you did it again. You broke me. Again. I just…I can't." I wiped my nose with my hand. "I can't…"

"Jyou-"

"What more could you POSSIBLY have to say?!" I screamed through my pathetic tears. "I gave you my heart, AGAIN, and you threw it away, AGAIN. I should have listened to my instincts and not done this again."

"Jyou, please-"

"Leave."

Izzy took a few steps back. His eyebrows came together as he tried to figure out whether he should listen to me or stay and try and comfort me. I knew he wanted to do the latter, but I knew he also knew it would make me even more upset. He hung his head, turned around, and went up the hill, leaving me alone on the rocks.

I shook my head, teardrops dotting my glasses, and tried to get my ragged breathing under control. What had I done to myself? What was I thinking?

What the hell was I going to do?

I walked the familiar path to the little creek with the red bridge over it. Our spot. It would always be our spot, even if we never visited it together again. The sakura trees were in full bloom, leaving their pink petals all over the sidewalks and the grass. Per usual, while trying to get down the bank, I slid down. The sakura petals didn't help the situation.

"Crap." I was lying down on the grass at a weird angle after I stopped slipping. I put my hands behind my head and stared at the white, puffy clouds above me.

The graduation ceremony had gone well. Sang the songs, listened to the speeches. Nothing too exciting. Izzy's seat wasn't too far away from me due to the closeness of our last names alphabetically, but no glances were exchanged. His expression was solemn, and his eyes were on his folded hands the whole time. It was as if we didn't know each other.

And, in a way, we didn't. There was still so much we didn't know about the other, and couldn't have known in a two week window. We were about to spend the break apart, thankfully, with me staying in Odaiba and him going to Europe with his parents. They were so proud. Little did they know about his foreign adventure intentions.

My parents kept comparing me to him, pestering me about why I wasn't able to graduate early. I think my dad was starting to worry about my drive. I was going to Todai, after all - I was going to need it.

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply. What was the point? Maybe I should just take off in my car, drive to the ferry and go to South Korea. Sure, I didn't know much Korean (besides the obligatory 'annyeonghaseyo' and a few of its variations), but I could escape all of this ridiculousness and start a new life. I smiled at the thought of having Miyako teach me some Korean.

The wind kicked up a bit, sending the petals and leaves that were on the ground flying all around me. I heard them crunch a bit while they were flying around.

That didn't make sense, though. Why would they crunch? Someone was walking by. The crunching started to get closer to my head, and then stopped abruptly. I sighed. Great. Someone was looking at me, and I had a feeling I knew exactly who it was.

I squinted against the sun. Yep. There he was, dressed in black, just like me.

"Can I sit?" Izzy said, clearing his throat after. His voice was weak and raspy.

I stared at him, and then, with a sigh gestured with my hand next to me. I put it back behind my head. He sat down quickly, folding his hands in his lap again.

"I had a feeling I'd find you here."

"Why is that?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Just had a feeling."

"Honestly, I don't know why I'm here," I stared up at the sky. "I just started walking after the ceremony, and I ended up here."

He ran his hand over the grass. "Me too. Well, kind of. I watched you leave in this direction. I figured you'd come here, so I followed."

My eyebrows came together. "You followed me?"

Izzy brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "Yeah. Sorry. I just...sorry."

The branches of the sakura trees rustled together in the light wind. A couple of petals ended up on my face. I brushed them off, picking up one of them and examining it in the sunlight. Gorgeous. I always felt lucky to live in Japan around this time of year - it was stunning.

"Jyou," he hesitated before continuing, "are we nothing?"

I sat up on my elbows, still staring at the sky. "What do you mean?"

"Like...are we nothing now? Not friends, but not enemies? Just...nothing?"

I felt tears prick my eyes. I closed them, hoping I could keep them from forming into anything real. He sounded so hurt and defeated. He was right, though; we had become nothing. In four weeks, we went from enemies, to friends, to something so intense and intoxicating and confusing that I could barely stand it, to absolutely nothing. It was as if we never knew each other.

But, we had. We had known each other, better than anyone else. It just didn't seem fair for it to end like it did. His question (more like demand) was too much for me to even comprehend. It still stung when I thought about it. As much as I hated him, Todai was a big place, and the knowledge that he was going to be there, somewhere in the masses...it would drive me up the wall.

"I don't know," I said meekly. I grabbed onto the grass under my hands and yanked it up. "I don't necessarily want to be nothing, but I don't know where we stand." I sighed. "I'm leaning toward hatred again."

He sighed. "I don't want you to hate me. I don't want to be nothing. I want to be something to you." He paused, his voice dropping down. "Anything. I was stupid. Incredibly stupid. For me to even think…and then to bring that up…" I sniffed in response. He shook his head. "I'm sorry for everything. For what I did, for what I've done. I'm sorry for all of it."

"Me too."

"I'm leaving in a few days."

I nodded. "I know."

"I'll be gone all break."

"I know."

He continued running his hand over the grass. The sound of the water in the creek lapping against the rocks filled our awkward silence. "Jyou…"

"Stop," I started. Turning onto my side with my back to him, I started pulling on the second button of my uniform jacket. After a few tries, it popped free. It seemed odd to me to do this, considering I wasn't sure if I actually was in love with him again or not, and everything that he had done, but I knew I would regret letting this perfect moment pass by if I didn't take advantage of it.

I hated it, but it felt right. It felt so right. I needed to do this. I needed it to be known to him.

"What are you doing?"

Taking a deep breath, I sat up and faced him. His eyes went down to my jacket, and then back to mine. He looked both surprised and confused. My hand shook as I took his in my own, opened it up, and placed the button in it, closing his fingers around it. His eyes started to shine. I had a feeling mine were as well.

"Izzy, I-" My voice broke, so I cleared my throat and started over. "Izzy, I don't know what else to say or do besides this. I can't say for certain right now if I love you, but I know that there isn't another soul on this Earth who deserves this more than you do. I hate what happened, and I hate what you said, and I hate that you even thought of the idea, and I don't understand it, but it just doesn't feel right to not have you there anymore. I hope you can understand what I am trying to sa-"

I was cut off by a surprise kiss. It took me so off guard that I fell back on the grass. He went down with me. My glasses fell off beside us, but it didn't matter. I could feel so much emotion behind that kiss - desperation, sadness, confusion, even a little entitlement - but there was so much love. And, as insanely dysfunctional as we were, it seemed only right for all of that to be behind that kiss.

"I love you, Jyou," he whispered between kisses. "I always have."

"I know."

"And I can wait for you. I will wait for you." He grabbed my hand, entwining his fingers with mine. "As long as you need me to, I will wait for you." I felt a small, metal object in between our hands. I started laughing. He gave me his button, too.

"How long were you holding on to that?" I asked.

He smirked. "I pulled it off when you turned around. It seemed like too perfect of a moment." He brushed a few stray strands of hair out of my eyes. "Too bad you stole my thunder."

"Great minds think alike, I suppose."

Izzy curled up against me, wiggling his arm under my back and draping his other arm across my chest. Keeping the button in my hand, I wrapped my arms around him the best I could in that position. The wind picked up again. Petals covered us in a blanket of soft pink. Nothing mattered; just him and me, holding each other close, making every second with each other count.

Maybe I did love him. My heart seemed to want to. My brain was what was stopping me. I rested my cheek on the top of his head. He was going to be gone for a month, traipsing around Europe with his family. Lucky bastard.

Maybe that month was going to be a blessing in disguise. Maybe that month was what I needed. Everything could become clear in that month. I could figure out that I loved him again...and I could figure out that I couldn't love him again. Either way, I would have an answer that I could tell him when he got back.

"I'm going to miss you," I said into his hair.

"I'll miss you, too."

I kissed the top of his head. He cuddled into my neck.

"Jyou, about what I asked-"

"We don't need to discuss that right now." I paused. "Or ever again, really."

He placed a kiss in that small dip between my shoulder and my collarbone. "It won't happen. It would have never happened anyway, even if you had given me the okay. I don't want anyone else. I couldn't want anyone else. You're it for me. I just got you back; I don't want to lose you."

"Then why did you even ask it?"

He shook his head, humming as he kissed me a few more times in that same spot. "I was having a moment of weakness and a severe lapse in judgment. I don't know why I ever thought it was a good idea, or even considered it to be something worthy of a thought. I hate that I even thought it. I don't…" he sniffed. "I don't want to lose you."

I rubbed his back as best I could. I felt some water drip onto my skin. He was crying. "Shh, Izzy. Come on. Look at me." He raised his head and met my gaze. "Don't do that."

"This can't be fixed, can it?"

I shook my head. "No, it can't be fixed…" His breathing started to hitch in response. "But maybe it can be glued back together."

"I don't want you to forgive me."

I half-smiled, resting a hand on his cheek. "I don't think I could."

He half-smiled back. "I love you, Jyou."

"I know."

"And I won't do anything while I'm gone."

I raised my eyebrows. "You promise?"

His eyes sparkled. "I promise."

A/N: Well, that was probably the most dysfunctional thing I've ever written. I never shipped these two, but DO I EVER NOW. Man. I would hope they had a better relationship than this one…but hey, it is what it is.

Like I said in part one, DON'T HATE IZZY. I'm writing another story with Izzy in it (which has died for a while...but it will be resurrected, now that I'm done with this one!), so don't equate this Izzy with that one.

...you know, if you read the other one. Which would be cool.

R+R lovelies! It would be much appreciated! Love you all!