Thanks for reviewing, I'll buy y'all some wooden shoes so you can go clogdancing after this.

Inspired by: Resident Evil 4 and that dream I had about staring at Mr. Kennedy's butt at a pool. ('t Was a lovely dream)
Chapter 2; Mr. Kennedy Kennedy.
ENJOY!

April 22.

09:00
My alarmclock woke me up by yelling "Kennedy!"
I yelled 'Kennedyyyy!' right back at it. It's a great way to wake up. I suggest you try it.

09:12
Ah, I checked my phone. I have 5 new textmessages.

'Ken, call me back asap. I need to talk to you. XxX HHH'

'Ken mAn, whAzzzuuuuup? I just TXted to say aye, les go to teh mall man! i gtta buy a fone aye! Greetz, PUNK.'

'Dear Ken, please for once leave the toiletseat down, xxx Joni.'

'I borrowed your microphone, will give it back before you know it. Awesome Kong'

'I can not find my phone, please call me so I can hear where it is. Cena.'

Texted Cena back; 'How the hell can you text when you don't know where your phone is?!'
Cena's reply came right away; 'You're right, I was holdin' it in ma hand. Srry.'

09:16
Cena texted again. 'Can't find ma hand, please call so I can hear it ring.'
Cena has a detachable hand? How odd.

09:19
Mark called me.

"Glen just rang again." He said.
"Ask him if he ate Cena's hand."

He hung up.

09:25
Mark called again.

"Affirmative."
"Heehee." I snickered.

10:28
Going to the mall with Punk later. Or Phil, whatever. I hate his real name, he sounds like a damn doctor. I don't like doctors, they say I talk too much.

10:30
Everyone says I talk too much, does that mean...
No.
Everyone must be a doctor.

10:45
Doing my hair. Very pleased, I am irresistable if I say so myself. I might need to go swimming again soon, so I can show off my perfect body.

10:53
Hmmmm... I like mirrors. I'm so sexy.

10:55
Hell, I'd look good wearing nothing but... Nothing but...
I can't think of anything evil.

11:09
I'd look good wearing nothing but clogs. There you go! I could go clogdancing. Nude. I should ask Punk if he's in for it too.

11:16
Calling Punk.

"How 'bout after we shop we go swimming?" I asked.
"Okidoki skip." Punk said.
"And after that we go clogdancing?" I asked.
"I don't know..."
"Nude clogdancing?"
Punk cheered. "I'm in!"

11:27
We should ask some more people to join. I'm sure Mark's in for it, and Shawn. Shawn loves being naked. Batista too, and I'm sure so does Santino. Not sure about Kozlov though?

11:45
Punk's here, we going to the mall.

13:09
Shopping with Punk is horrible. He wants this, and he wants that. He wants a new phone, a moped, a beltbuckle with his name and some new clogs. Oh dear.

13:39
Hmmm, orange clogs? I told Punk not to go to that damn Dutch store, but he said clogs are dutch, therefore that was the place to buy them.
Orange does look good on me though...

14:00
Punk has a moped. It's cool. We're riding it now, which is why my handwriting looks like Michael J. Fox's. It's fine, fine fine.
ARGH!
Speedbump. I hurted my toosh.

14:18
We saw Cena. We waved. Cena looks confused. I couldn't tell if he was missing a hand though.

14:43
Punk said we should invite Jett over too. Told him they're still in Disneyland. And whenever Jeff and Matt (Jett) are in Disneyland, Jeff gets arrested for harassing some foodstand-employee.
It's because Jeff still thinks in Disneyland they speak Spanish, rather than French.

15:00
At the swimming-pool, calling lots of fun people to join us.
Kane is here, and so is Mark. And HHH and Shawn of course. And Kozlov came along aswell, which suprised me. Kozlov has insanely huge swimtrunks.

15:11
The Animal arrived too, and he took Beth. Beth was followed by Santino, who never really appears to fit in.
It must be his eyebrow.

15:19
I asked Santino if he has a diary. Santino blushed. I wonder why?

15:28
Punk is obsessed with zombies. He said they're coming for us.

"Whatever." Kozlov said. "We're all going down, but I've got a helmet."
He really does. He always wears it. Even now.

16:00
Kozlov jumped into the water and sank because his helmet filled up with water. Mark, Glen and Batista jumped in too to save him.
Heehee. I ain't givin' him CPR!

16:09
Like I could when he is wearing a helmet. I'd just hit my pretty head.

16:16
Kozlov's still on the bottom, he should be dead by now. That sucks, I like him.

17:00
Oh look, he's out of the pool. Glen pulled his helmet off and swoosh, Kozlov punched Glen in the face.

"Don't touch my helmet." He grunted.
Glen just looked really confused. I know I am.
"I can breathe underwater." Kozlov finally said.

I shrugged. Makes sense to me.

17:13
Kozlov appears to be fine. I'm happy about that, he almost had me worried.
Punk just got a little panicky when Kozlov was under water, but he's back to his usual self.

17:20
"I got a gun." Punk said.
"Really?" Batista asked.
"Of course really..." Santino butted in. "Why'd he say that if he didn't have a gun?"
"Shut up Santino." Batista said annoyed.
"You shut up Baptista, Manimals don't need guns anyway."
Punk just sat there, looking bored. They ruined his story.

17:28
"It's for the zombies..." Punk mumbled.
"That's okay, I got a helmet." Kozlov said.
"We know that now..." Punk replied annoyed. "We saw it."
"Sooooo?" Shawn asked.
"Yes, the zombies. I bought a gun from a man." Punk said.
"Oh." I replied.
"He was wearing a cloak and said 'I got sum rare things on sale, strangah.'"
"Really, why?" I asked.
"Because he had sum rare things on sale, why else?" Santino yelled.

'Baptista' threw him into the pool. 't Was a nice sight.

18:00
"He had other rare things too." Punk said.
"Like what?" Mark asked bored.
"He had... A treasure map!" Punk exclaimed.
"Of what?" I asked.
"A castle..." Punk said. "I bought it, he said hehehe thank you."
"Of course he said thank you." I said.
"No, he said hehehe thank you."
"That's nice..."

Oh dear.

18:10
"He also said I should shoot 10 medallions, I'd get a... Special gun." Punk said.
"A special gun?" I asked.
Shawn snickered. "I bet it's in his pants..."

Tsk.

18:30
"I got a selection of good things on sale, strangah." Punk mumbled.
Everyone just stared at him.
"Gimme that man's number, I wanna new gun too." Triple H said.
"No way strangah." Punk mumbled.

Punk is acting very... Strange.

18:35
Look, it's Joni. What the hell is she doing here?

18:40
"Hurroooo, strangah." Punk yelled at Joni.

Joni punched him. I love that woman.

18:43
"You left the toiletseat up again, Ken." Joni moaned.
"I beg your pardon." I replied.
"Shut up Ken, or I'll marry you and have you change your last name into mine."
"You can't do that." I pouted.
"Then the toiletseat goes down." Joni said.

And she left again. Girls are such a pain in the toosh.

19:00
"Who was that?" Mark asked.
"My girlfriendwomanthing."
"Since when?"
"Since a week."
"You never told us?" Mark said accusingly.
"I forgot."

Who cares anyway? Women, as I said, are a pain in the toosh.

19:12
A worse pain than mopeds that is.

19:17
"What're ya buyin'?" Punk asked me.
"Nothin'." I mumbled. Thinking about having Punk picked up by the men in the white coats.

19:35
"I got sum rare things on sale strangah." Punk said to some girl that walked by.
"Ewwwwww!" She exclaimed.
"Wanna see my gun, lady?"
"Ewwwwww!"
"Fine, then not. I'll save it for Shawn."
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" She yelled. It echoed in the pool, I love echoes.
"Heeheehee." Shawn snickered.
"Damn you." Paul said.
"KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Really, I love echoes.

19:45
Did I ever tell you about that one time I got stuck in a wooden shoe? Or well, a giant clog?
Mark saved me from it... I just found out they have those clogs here too. You can float around in them.
Told Santino to go do that.

19:49
Santino is stuck in a giant clog. And he's not even nude. Told him to go clogdancing.
Santino is now waving his arms, and soon the clog will probably flip over and Santino will be underwater, and swoosh, no more Santino.

20:00
I'm always right. Once again Glen, Mark and Batista jumped in, now to save Santino.
Kozlov was jumping up and down, throwing in lifejackets and yelling 'Noooooooooooo, he has no helmet!'

't Was a fine sight.

20:15
For some reason someone in the pool turned on disco-lights. It's like a big party now. We all decided to go to the waterslide and discodance our way down, in a nice, orderly line.
I wonder what'll happen. Punk will go first.

20:19
Punk danced down the slide, on his back, with his head first. He had no idea the slide would be slippery.
't Was a fine sight.

20:24
Glen went next. In a nice orderly fashion he made it down half the slide. Then he landed on his toosh and swooshed down faster than a rollercoaster.
Though I must say I've never seen a coaster on a waterslide, so I could be wrong.

20:27
Santino and Baptista (wait, did I call him Baptista myself? dang...) went together. Santino was holding Batista because he was scared, and they swooshed down right into Glen.
Now we might have to save Glen too.

20:30
Ah, it's Mark. Mark can dance for sure.

20:31
Mark did the MC Hammer dance from 'Can't touch this' all the way down. I think Mark wins the discoslide. Indeedy.

20:34
Shawn's turn. He said "I'm a sexy boy" and slipped before he even touched the actual slide. Paulie went after him very fast because Shawn looks like he hurt himself.
They're the cutest couple on the planet.

20:36
If I hurt myself like that, the only thing Joni would say is 'That's what happens when you leave the toiletseat up!'

20:38
My turn. I'm shaking in my swimtrunks. I don't know what to do...
Wait, I know!

20:45
Clogdanced my way down the waterslide, faster than Glen on a rollercoaster. Whoohoo!
Too bad I wasn't naked.

21:00
Let's do this again...

21:32
Outside... They threw us out when I showed them my toosh. I wonder why, my toosh is amazing.

21:35
At least we're all still alive, right?

21:39
We're going home. Well, not really, everyone's coming with me. Which is annoying, because Joni doesn't like Batista much. She says he's too gigantic.

21:55
Glen is hitting on Joni. Joni is hitting on Santino. Santino is hitting on me. We're like a big lovesquare.

22:00
I'm getting tired. It was a busy day... Shopping with Punk, swimming, seeing Kozlov drown, but not drown... Then dancing down a waterslide.
't Was a fine sight all of it, but now I'm done.

22:15
There's one way of getting everyone out of the house without having to raise my voice.
I stared at Mark, intensely.

"Do you have any vaseline?"

22:30
I'm off to bed now, I deserve it. Nighty Night people...
Eh...

Wow.

22:32
Oh, well, not sleepy anymore, Joni is wearing a cute slipdress. I should show her my special gun.

22:35
Night night strangah's! (That was PUNK DAMNIT HOW'D HE GET HERE?)

't Was a fine sight. Heehee.
Reviews are appreciated. Flamers will be killed on the spot or beaten up with a plastic bottle.
(Funneh; The only english word my mother knows is bottle.)