It was two weeks later that he was sitting in his bedroom, looking up facts about babies and what they needed to survive, when he heard someone screaming his name downstairs. The yelling was followed by thunderous stomping up the staircase, and he realized that someone (or, more correctly, two someones) wascoming up for him, since his sister was off at her friend's house for the day. No sooner than he had closed the tab he was looking at did his door swing open, and standing in the doorway was his older brother Kankri, with Aranea at his side. "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" he rudely asked, setting his laptop on his nightstand. "I may have been indecent in here and you would have dragged a girl in on it!"

"There's no time for your sinful jokes, Karkat," his stern brother said, giving him a look that clued him in that Kankri knew a little bit too much about a certain situation involving Meenah. "We have to get you to repent for what ungodly acts you partook in with that Peixes girl before it's too late and you're condemned to hell."

"I thought I said we didn't let my family know about this." Karkat raised an eyebrow at Aranea, who looked absolutely pale at the fact that Kankri did, in fact, know what was going on. "Wait. Aranea? Did you tell him?"

She shook her head, looking at Karkat with widened blue eyes. "I didn't...the only people I've discussed this with are my housemates. He found out from someone else."

"I certainly did, and Nepeta has been properly thanked for proving me with the information I now have." The first thing Karkat wondered was how Nepeta had found out, rather than how she had told Kankri while he was living hours away. "Before you ask, she and I are in a mutual follow on our blogging platform, and she made a post about how her computer was used for looking at a conception calendar for the same date that you were at a party...I've put two and two together and, with some of the other knowledge I have gleaned from people, such as Aranea here, who posted on a different site about how Meenah was expecting, I know your secret. And, when our father returns home from wherever he is, I will be gladly letting him know that his younger son is soon to pass on the Vantas family name to a child of his own."

"Kankri, you can't let him know!" Karkat jumped off his bed and got down on his knees, begging his brother not to say a word about anything. "You've got to hide this from our parents, just until I'm ready for them to know!"

Aranea then turned to Kankri, her eyes still extremely wide. "When you called me to say you were coming to visit, I figured it had something to do with this situation. I agree with your brother here, and you cannot tell your parents until he's ready. It isn't your news to share, and I don't want you ruining Karkat's and Meenah's lives by informing your dad about the child."

"This is not your business to be inserting yourself in, Aranea. While I appreciate you coming with me to confront Karkat about it, there is no more use for you in this conversation, and I would advise you leave before you put any strain on our friendship." The blonde excused herself and rather hurriedly left the room and, soon, the building. "Now, Karkat, why are you keeping this a secret from our parents? Shouldn't they know?"

"They should know, but I don't want them to. I mean, they'll just make me marry Meenah, which I don't want to do. I've got to wait until it's too late for them to plan us a proper wedding, and then I'll let them know, easy as that." Karkat nodded at his own genius plan, but when he looked to his brother for approval, he was met with a stern shake of the head. "Oh, come on, that's what they made Meulin do."

"Do not ever compare our sister's situation to the one you're in. Her and that vile man of hers were in a committed relationship long before they took things to a level they shouldn't have, and them being forced to marry once Meulin discovered she was expecting was not too much of a burden to either of them. You, however, have a different set of circumstances and I am sure our parents would understand that." Kankri crossed his arms over his chest, before continuing on with his speech. "I'm positive that, at most, you'll just be forced to sit through several sermons on why premarital sexual encounters are frowned upon, and then they'll try to convince you to marry Meenah. But they won't force it, I'm sure." He started pacing now, mentally going over everything he was planning on saying, which was a lot.

The younger brother still wasn't going to have any of it. "I'm in love with Terezi, thanks. I'm going to marry her one day, not the fish pun-using bitch that I accidentally knocked up while we were drunk."

"Yet another detail I shall inform our parents of. They'll preach at you about why underage alcohol consumption is also frowned upon."

There was something Karkat intended to add to the conversation there, but he was stopped by his phone ringing—a call from none other than Meenah herself. "I've got to answer this," he said, giving his brother a hand signal that they both knew meant to be silent, before extracting his phone from his pocket and answering it. "Hey, what's up?"

"Don't ask me that. You know damn whale what's up."

"Meenah, not now with the puns. My brother's here." He looked at Kankri, who was still pacing just inside his doorway. "Just tell whatever it is to me straight."

On the other side of the line, with her feet propped up on the back of the couch while surrounded with her friends, Meenah laughed. "I don't tell nofin straight, 'specially not to you. But maybe I'll do it this once...eh. Nah. Not happenin' today."

"I really don't have the time for this! My brother's threatening to out our secret to my parents!"

"How swell. The kiddo could use an engraved bible or two." Once again, she laughed, showing just how not serious she was taking things. "But anyway, I need you to come get me. There ain't no food here for me to chow on, and I could krill someone for a burger right now."

"Have one of your roommates take you, because I don't have the time to be dealing with your cravings right at this moment. My brother telling my parents will make things get really ugly really quickly, and we don't want that."

She rolled her eyes, before looking between Latula, Rufioh, and Horuss, who were all listening intently to the phone conversation. "They can't take me. Already asked, already tried, ain't gonna work. Get your ass over here now, or there'll be shell to pay."

"Aranea will be there in five minutes, I'm sure," Karkat suggested. "Ask her."

"She's not my baby daddy," Meenah responded. "She don't have to do nothin' for me."

He rolled his eyes at her response, but he figured that this was just her punishing him for what he'd done, and there was no use in arguing. However, he gave it one last shot: "Why don't you just drive yourself?"

"You think I got the cash for that? Livin' here ain't cheap, Karkat. Like I already said, there'll be shell to pay if you ain't here."

"Okay, fine, I'll be there in five minutes." He sighed, hung up, and got to his feet, pushing past his brother to leave the room. "I guess you get to tell them by yourself, Kankri, because I've got to go. Meenah needs me to take her somewhere."

"I'll accompany you then, so I can meet the unfortunate carrier of your child and inform her about how big of a mistake involving herself with you is. She will be pleased to know that I am fighting for your rights as parents, not trying to destroy your freedoms by granting older, wiser adults insight to the situation." He turned on his toes and followed Karkat down the stairs and out of the house, before offering to drive his own car for the trip. "Allow me to chauffeur you two to whatever destination you desire; this will allow you to sit in the back seat with her."

"Uh, thanks Kankri, but I really can drive. She's my responsibility, after all." But even with that reminder, the older Vantas was insistent that he do the driving. "Okay, whatever. Let me direct you to Meenah's place, and then—"

"There's no need for you to do that, as I have been to that residence once today, to pick Aranea up for some friendly chatting before confronting you. She hasn't changed much at all since we last saw each other, you know." The short car ride between their house and Meenah's was filled with Kankri's musings about Aranea and how little she had changed, which Karkat ignored all of, simply because he had bigger things on his mind.

Things would have been so, so much better for him if the largest of those things wasn't Meenah and how she was going to act around Kankri. She was playing up her condition when they pulled up in her driveway, her hands on her lower back while it was arched as much as it could possibly be, making her stomach look so much more swollen than it was. Her walk wasn't so much a walk as it was an exaggerated waddle, and, once she was in the car and they were driving off, all she was doing was complaining about how terrible she felt, as if she was just trying to make the two brothers feel bad for her.

Instead, all she got was an awkward introduction from Kankri, and the largest, most delectable burger meal around from Karkat. The first thing, she later said, was something she could have done without, but the second was just the thing she wanted. "You wouldn't bereef how badly I've wanted one of those," she said once she was done devouring every last crumb of her food. "This fuckin' kid, I swear, it's gonna turn me into one of those fat ladies you see on the TV. We're gonna get so rich from it, I'll be able to eat anyfin I want, whenever I want it."

"Do you just naturally make things into aquatic-themed puns, or is this all premeditated?" Kankri asked, interrupting her rich-and-famous fantasy. He got an empty fry container to the head for it. "Oh, I apologize. Was my terminology incorrect? Do you call them nautical puns, or just plain fish puns? It was not my intention to insult you."

"You're insultin' me just by blubberin' on and on about how I glub. Why don't you just shut up and drive? I'm feelin' like ice cream." She put a pout on her lips and looked over at Karkat, who wasn't paying any attention to her facial expression. His eyes were focused squarely on her stomach, which had grown slightly in size since the last time he had seen her. "Uh, Karkat, whatchu doin'? Aren't you gonna tell me we can get somefin else to eat?"

"I got you something to eat. You don't need to stuff your face any more than you already have tonight. We can go get ice cream tomorrow or something." All of this was said without him so much as moving his eyes, which caused Meenah to start whining in protest that he wasn't paying any attention to her and her needs. "What the fuck are you going on about? I'm not going to let you get whatever you want just because you're having a baby."

"No, but you should 'cuz I'm havin' your baby. Don't you want a happy baby and a happy momma to go with it?" She leaned a bit closer to him, the pout still prominent on her face. "Come on, just get me what I want and things'll be goin' great."

Not wanting to protest more and get punched (since he knew how strong Meenah's fists could be if she used them right), he let out a deep sigh. "Okay, fine, you win. We'll go get some ice cream."

"Aw fuck yeah. Kankri, lemme give you directions. I know a place where we can score some reely good stuff for cheap. Like, free cheap." She pulled away from Karkat and sat normally, resting her arms on her stomach just so she could tap against it with her fingers as she waited for Kankri to reply to her. "Whale, you gonna lemme give you 'em or what?"

The older Vantas boy clenched his hands around the steering wheel a bit tighter than they already were, maintaining his 10-and-2 control. "I'm adverse to you acquiring free ice cream, that's all. Shouldn't the needy and poor be the ones getting the discounted goods, not whiny and obnoxious women who are using their pregnancy cravings as a way of controlling the father of their child into doing things?"

"Uh, water you goin' on about now? You're a craysea one, buoy."

"Please refrain from using the puns in my car, please. They irritate me and should be prefaced with some kind of warning. Maybe you could wear a sign that informs everyone that you speak with such a quirk." If Kankri happened to look into the back seat of his car right then, he would have been greeted with a death glare that no one would have survived. "But, what I previously said may have been a bit of an overstepping on my part, and for that I apologize. However, since this is my car, I am not going to take you to get anything if you're just going to abuse the kindness of others and get it for no cost."

"I'm only gonna get it free 'cuz my brother works at the place. He is seariously the only reason I wanna get some of the pricey stuff and not the cheap kind." She licked her lips, forgetting all about the angry look. "Now just drive us there."

The car started moving, and Kankri had to rely on Meenah's directions to get them from the parking lot of the burger joint to the ice cream parlor she so strongly desired going to, Karkat sitting idly next to her just waiting for her to demand something else on top of this dessert. Thankfully for him, by the time they arrived at the shop on the complete opposite side of town, she was busy talking about just getting her ice cream and going home, so he was sure he was to be spared from having to spend too much more money. "So, uh, Meenah, are you just going to run in and get what you want?" he asked once they pulled in to the closest spot to the front door of the shop. "I could give you some money, and you could get anything you want..."

"Fuck that, I ain't runnin' for nothin' but maybe a fire. Ice cream shore as fuck ain't a fire. That means you're comin' in with me, Karkat, and there's nothin' you can say to make me change my mind." She unbuckled herself and him, grabbing his hand once she was done. "Now come on. I ain't makin' your brother wait here for the halibut."

"That pun didn't even make sense..." Kankri muttered, resting his head on the steering wheel. "I don't understand how someone can have a mannerism like that and not make any sense with it. I'd think that the top priority would be to make things clear."

"Maybe if you'd just listen to the fuckin' context, you'd know what I was tryin' to say!" With that mini outburst out of her system, Meenah opened the car door and carefully climbed out, pulling Karkat with her. "How can you stand to be related to him? I'd have drowned him long before this point. He's so glubbin' stupid."

"Says the one who thinks fish puns are appropriate for every conversation," Karkat snarkily replied, narrowly avoiding a fist to the face afterward. "Hey, watch it. I didn't need to bring you here."

Meenah shot back with, "Yeah, and I don't need to keep this seacret from your li'l angelfish Terezi. If you wanna keep her, you've gotta keep me happy. Now come on, before 'Tuna gets the chance to lock the doors on us."

"Did you just call your brother a kind of fish?"

"No, dumbass, I called him a short version of his name. Ain't nofin gonna get me to call him the full one." She had managed to drag him up to the front entrance at this point, and inside she spotted a tall guy with dandelion-esque hair on his head. "There he is. My annoyin' and completely hopeless brother."

Karkat wrestled his hand out from her grasp and opened the door, allowing them both to enter the empty (aside from the dandelion hair guy) shop. "Welcome! Have you come to try one of the specials of the night?" the guy literally screamed at them, tripping over his letters several times and transposing some of them. "I'm pretty good when it comes to making specials. I'm also good at making girls feel special." That's when he looked at Meenah and winked at her. "Like you. I'm sure I could treat you better than that loser you're with does."

"Holy fuckin' shit, Mituna, you just hit on your sister without realizin' it. Good job." She gave him a thumbs-up, before turning to Karkat. "This is why he works at this place, because he can't be let loose on his own without someone there to hold his little hand. He's the speshell one of the family."

"Meenah, that's you? I couldn't tell, since the Meenah I know isn't fat and she doesn't dress like an ugly lady." He beamed, before noticing that she was getting very, very angry at what he had said. "Did I just hurt your feelings? I'm sorry."

"You're makin' it reely obvs that you're the one that drank the bleach growin' up."

Dandelion hair, as Karkat was forever going to know him as, looked down at the ground and sniffled a couple times. "You're being mean to me, Meenah. I'm gonna tell mom about you and she's going to hate you more than she already does. And she's going to make you move back in with her and she'll force you to go to the gym because you're really kinda fat and it looks bad."

"I'm not fuckin' fat!" Meenah stomped down with one of her feet, screaming as she did so. "It just so happens that I'm goin places in my life! I've got my a swell buoyfrond, and we're havin' us a baby and it's so much more than you'll ever have, you stupid fuckin' asshoal!"

"I am so telling Tulip about this," he said, after looking back up at his sister mid-tantrum. "She'll be disappointed in you for doing that before me and her."

Instead of getting more angry about the things leaving her brother's mouth, Meenah just slapped herself in the forehead, running her hand over her face to try and calm herself. "Mituna, she knows. She was the first one to know anyfin about this. She's the one who passed the seacret along to Karkat here, and that's why he's with me now. Because he's got responsibilities, bein' my baby daddy and stuff."

"Tulip's sister is dating a guy named Karkat...is it the same guy?"

"Why couldn't the bleach have killed you? Yes it's the same guy! How many other buoys do you know named Karkat? That would be none, because it's a fuckin' craysea name!" Karkat was actually slightly offended by Meenah's comments, a displeasure he made very clear to her. "Sorry, nothin' against you. I'm just tryin' to make a point to my speshell bro here. He's got some real fishues."

"I can hear you, Meenah, and I don't think you're being very nice..." Once again, Mituna was sniffling and making a big deal of something that really wasn't hurting him. "I'm not going to give you any free ice cream if you keep this up. The manager said I'm not s'posed to give free stuff to you, anyway."

Her jaw dropped and she began apologizing profusely for everything she had said. "Just give me the free stuff and we'll be even," she said, stepping closer to the glass barrier between them. "All I want is a nice big bowl of a li'l bit of everyfin. All for free."

"All for free?" He pretended to contemplate her demand, before his face lit up. "Okay! All for free! One scoop of every flavor, and a little bit of all the toppings! All for free!"

"Thanks, bro. You're the best dude a gill like me could ever know." She eagerly anticipated getting to just receive her ice cream and walk out without paying a cent, and it was that greediness that Mituna capitalized on, yelling and threatening her with getting arrested once she had her bowl and was walking out. It turned out that he was lying about giving it to her for free, but since she had started eating it the second she got it, it needed to be paid for.

That was how Karkat ended up having to pay nearly a hundred dollars for a bowl of ice cream.