A/N: This may be my favorite thing I've ever written. But y'all, lemme just toss out that this is 100% insane smut, k? Seriously, if you're not 18, go away. Huge thanks to emcnary for her feedback, and if you haven't read her story Jinxed Hearts or its sequel (still in progress), leave immediately and go do so. This story will still be here when you get back, but I'm telling you, you NEED her work in your life.
Tonks apparated to the alley by Grimmauld Place and shook out her hair—an old nervous habit. She walked around the corner, up the steps, and stood at the door. It was now or never. She took a deep breath, blew it out roughly, and let herself in.
The first thing she registered was the mesmerizing aroma of pasta sauce. She breathed in appreciatively, a small smile spreading across her lips. Of course Remus would feed her well. She smirked as she thought of the implications—the meal would be both delicious and satisfying, but the carb-loading would provide them with plenty of, ah, energy for the evening. Smirk firmly in place, she successfully navigated around that ridiculous troll leg and slipped down the stairs toward the kitchen. She pushed open the door as quietly as possible, wanting to sneak up on him, and her breath hitched as she caught sight of him across the room.
He was perfection.
His shaggy hair was brushing against the collar of his blue dress shirt, and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He had a kitchen towel tossed over his right shoulder as he worked at the stove, and his arse was just…too delicious for words.
She crept toward him, slowly and silently, with the intention of sneaking up behind him and encircling his waist with her arms. She continued her journey until, when she was about ten feet from him, he spoke. Without turning from his task, he said, "You are an outstanding Auror, Nymphadora, but you are certainly kidding yourself if you think you can sneak up on me."
Tonks stopped in shock. She knew good and well that she had not made a single sound in her entrance to the kitchen.
She watched in awe as Remus drew a deep breath, tilting his face toward the ceiling, and murmured, "I can smell you from a mile away, Nymphadora." Tonks shuddered at the barely-concealed desire in his voice, and not for the first time, wondered if they would actually make it through dinner.
She forced herself to smirk as she said, "That stinky, am I?"
Remus whirled to face her. She very nearly took a step backward at the naked desire on his face.
"Nymphadora…" he growled.
"Okay, okay!" she laughed, despite her nervousness. She tossed her bag on the table and held her hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, Professor. I wouldn't dare push my luck when it comes to your wolfie senses." She finished her statement with a wink to make sure he knew she was kidding. But the look in his eyes—absolute, sheer desire, poorly concealed—made her feel weak in the knees. He was cooking her dinner with the same deliberate care and attention to which he gave every task, but it was abundantly clear to her that the only thought that was really on his mind was, ahem…dessert.
He wanted her.
God, he wanted her. She had to suppress a giggle at the giddiness that suddenly ran through her at this realization. She had known, of course, on an intellectual level, that he wanted her, but now, suddenly, it had dawned on her in the very deepest recesses of her heart that yes, this man she so adored was absolutely equal in his adoration of her-and what's more, desired her physically as much as she did him. This notion was only reinforced as she watched his gaze as it dropped to her torso and took in her attire. The little dress she had chosen wasn't sheer, but it was thin, and the outline of her nipples were clearly visible through the thin cotton. She smirked as she saw him eyeing them hungrily.
"Tsk, tsk, Professor," she teased, waving her index finger as if he'd been naughty. "No peeking at dessert until after you've had dinner." She was gratified when Remus huffed out a laugh as he leaned down on the table and dropped his head in defeat.
"You'll be the death of me, I swear," he muttered, amusement evident in his voice.
Tonks moved around the table to him. She ran a hand across his back and said in a low, seductive voice, "We can't have that, can we, Professor?" She then pulled his face toward her and proceeded to kiss him deeply, slowly, passionately, and punctuated the kiss by reaching down and squeezing his arse.
After a moment, he broke away from her, his eyes closed and a look of focused concentration on his face. "God, Nymphadora…not. helping." he grunted in mock annoyance.
Tonks giggled and released his arse, quite enjoying their easy banter. "I apologize, Professor," she laughed, sounding as unapologetic as anyone he'd ever encountered. Remus raised an eyebrow and smirked at her, turning back to the food.
"Have a seat, my dear. Dinner will be ready momentarily. I hope you brought a hearty appetite?" He smirked again at her loud bark of laughter. Of course she had; did she ever bring anything else?
But then he was surprised to hear her say, "To be honest, I'm not 100% sure about my appetite." He glanced over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow, and waited for her to continue. "I didn't eat lunch today; between work and being nervous about tonight," she said honestly, surprising even herself, "I just couldn't stomach the thought of eating. Pardon my pun," she smiled. Remus turned to face her. "So on one level, I'm extremely hungry, but at the same time, the idea of food turns my stomach." She looked down, shrugging. "We'll see, I guess."
Remus wiped his hands on the towel and took a seat next to her. He took her face gently into his hands and turned it to him. As she looked into his eyes and saw all traces of his ravenous desire gone, replaced only with concern, she had a sudden epiphany: dear God, he really, truly was in love with her. Despite her inexperience, she knew something of men. Generally speaking, the only thing that could overcome their lust was…love. But it was more than that, even. They had something deeper than that, something akin to being—as much as she hated the term—soul mates. Remus ran his thumbs across her cheekbones and whispered, "Nymphadora…"
She shook her head firmly, her eyes closed, her hands reaching up to grip his wrists. She nuzzled her face into his soft and loving hands and smiled gently. "Remus. I know what you're going to say." She opened her eyes and looked into the lovely blue eyes in front of her. "I know. I know we don't have to do this. But Remus," she released one of his wrists and ran her hand down over his face, caressing his stubble, "I'm ready," she whispered. "I'm ready and I want you. And of course I'm a bit nervous. Don't you think that's to be expected?"
She watched as he swallowed, then closed his eyes and nodded firmly. "Yes," he allowed. "I suppose that is to be expected. But," he opened his eyes and stared at her imploringly, "I just don't want you to ever feel that you need to be nervous or hesitant with me."
Tonks bowed her head, leaning her forehead into his. She took the hand on which she still had a grip and pulled the palm to her lips. She kissed it gently and whispered, "Remus, I assure you that I have never felt more at ease or comfortable with anyone." She smiled and continued, "Actually, that's not true." He started to draw back, startled, but she grinned and held him close. "It's pretty damn hard to be at ease or comfortable when every cell in your body is absolutely aching for the person in front of you," she finished huskily. He huffed out a short laugh and dropped his head back to hers. Tonks stepped away and detached herself from his hands. "Now go finish dinner," she commanded playfully. "I want to see if your cooking skills are as brilliant as your snogging skills."
Remus turned away from her, tossing a smirk over his shoulder. "Hmm, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised," he said, much to her delight.
God, confident men were such a turn-on.
OoOoO
Bloody hell, the man had not been kidding. Despite what she had initially labeled as a sketchy appetite, it took only a single bite of the chicken parmesan that Remus had prepared to convince her to tuck in with gusto. The pasta was perfectly al dente, the chicken was juicy, and the sauce was absolute perfection. Tonks immediately shifted from worrying about not being able to eat to worrying about looking like a pig. It went from bad to worse when Remus placed a tray of garlic bread on the table, satisfied smirk firmly in place.
Tonks raised a playful eyebrow. "What's this? You going to tease me and make me choose which I fancy more—garlic bread or the sensuous Mr. Lupin?"
Remus leaned in close to her ear and gave her chills with his response of, "Ohhh, I think we know there's no contest there, Miss Tonks. After all, there is a limit to what garlic bread can do for a woman…" His voice deepened and became rougher—"…but what a highly motivated man can do to a woman?" He became momentarily aggressive and grabbed her throat with one hand—gently of course—as he moved behind her and gripped her chin with the other hand. Tonks' eyes drifted closed as he growled into her ear, "By the time I finish with you, Nymphadora, your definition of 'satisfaction' will never be the same, I assure you." She allowed a shuddering breath to escape as he released her chin and neck, moving his hands to her shoulders. His lips lingered at her ear, however, and he said, "And feel free to eat all of the garlic bread you want. There is nothing that could put me off of you tonight."
Tonks shivered. "Not even garlic bread?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
"Not even garlic bread."
OoOoO
Despite their intimate flirtation prior to the meal, Tonks was pleasantly surprised that their dinner itself was as easy and natural as every interaction they'd ever had, really. Remus sat across from her, leaning back with ease and watching her once he finished his meal, one arm stretched out to rest on the back of the chair to his right, and one hand on the ankle of the foot she'd casually placed in his lap. She was taking the last bite of her pasta when he said to her, "You really are beautiful, Nymphadora." She placed her fork neatly on her plate and looked up at him, taken aback by the easy confidence of his voice. Remus, seeing her surprise, leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers together. "I mean that," he said. "You are, I believe, the most beautiful woman I've ever encountered in my life." He paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "Why do you think I reacted so strongly when you said that men wanted you to change for them? I can't even comprehend of such a thing."
Tonks took a breath and willed herself not to do something silly, like fainting.
Remus continued, "I've honestly no idea what it is that you see in me, but I can assure you that if, as you have already attested, you truly love me, then you need never worry that I would dare ask you to change a single thing."
In an uncharacteristically feminine move, Tonks found herself looking down and blushing prettily as she lowered her eyelashes at his words. When she glanced back up, she was intrigued to see him leaning back in his chair, staring at her with undisguised interest and desire.
Another moment passed and he said to her, "And as far as protection goes….?"
She grinned at him unabashedly as she said, "Potion. I'm on it for the first time and God, I have never seen Poppy Pomfrey closer to literally jumping up and down with glee." She rolled her eyes to punctuate the statement as Remus laughed.
"I guess we're out in the open then?" he questioned, his pretty eyes sparkling in amusement.
His words—oh my god, they were a we—elicited the deepest stirring yet in her belly, and afraid she would leap across the table at him, Tonks pushed her empty plate away and changed the subject. "I notice that your pooch is conspicuously absent," she drawled, tapping her fingers lazily on the table. "If I were to venture a guess, I'd suppose that Professor Lupin told his loyal canine to make himself scarce this evening?"
Remus rewarded her with an incredibly sexy self-satisfied smirk. "Indeed I did. I believe my exact words were something to the effect of, 'Bugger off tonight because your cousin is coming over and I plan on doing unspeakable things to her.'"
Tonks giggled in spite of the heat that flooded through her. "And how did he take that news, Professor?"
Remus raised a contemplative eyebrow. "I think he was torn. His inner meddling matchmaker was positively giddy, but his doting cousin side was somewhat horrified at the thought of his faithful werewolf doing such naughty things to his beloved Nymphadora."
Another giggle. "Well, he can get over himself, because his beloved Nymphadora is bloody thrilled about this turn of events."
Remus chuckled and dropped his hand back to her ankle, giving it a gentle squeeze, before sliding his hand up her leg, relishing the feel of her smooth skin. He watched as her eyes fluttered closed with pleasure, and he said in a husky voice, "Shall we take Padfoot his dinner and then retire for the evening?"
Her eyes opened, and the look in them could only be described as greedy. "Indeed, Professor. I'd like that very much."
OoOoO
Moments later, they were standing at Sirius' bedroom door, Tonks with her bag slung over her shoulder and Remus with a plate of food for his friend. Sirius opened his door with a smirk at Lupin and then turned to Tonks. His gaze flitted down to her chest and he leaned against the door jamb with an exasperated sigh, rolled his eyes, and muttered, "Tonks. Put on a bra, for God's sake."
"Why bother?" she said cheekily. "He'll just be ripping it off of me in about three minutes. It's called efficiency, Sirius."
Sirius rolled his eyes again as Remus snaked his free hand around her waist. "I do believe she's got you there, Mate. You can't argue with her logic." He grinned and shoved the plate at his friend. "Here. Enjoy."
Sirius gave a mischievous lopsided grin and said, "Thanks, Moony. Smells delicious. I'll just bugger off now, as you so eloquently put it earlier." He turned away and then stopped before turning back toward the couple. "And I swear to bloody Merlin, if you forget the Silencing Charm, I will ride Buckbeak in there and trample the two of you." He punctuated this statement by kicking the door shut. Remus rolled his eyes and Tonks giggled before the door opened once more and Sirius poked his head out and stared Remus down. "Treat her right this evening, Moony," he said seriously, and it was Tonks' turn to laugh.
"Really, Sirius? Have you actually met Remus before?"
"You make an excellent point, Miss Tonks, but it's my duty as the Overprotective Cousin to give him shit and be all threatening," he quipped.
Tonks smirked and pulled her bag off her shoulder. "Actually, why don't you boys give me three or four minutes?" She grinned at Sirius and added, "You can have a little uninterrupted time to give him hell while I get ready," she winked lasciviously at Remus and shook her bag at him teasingly.
"God," Sirius drawled. "Please leave before you feel the need to show me what you have in there, because I do not need to know that information."
Tonks whirled on her heel and sauntered off, grinning and purposely swaying her hips saucily, and she could feel Remus' eyes on her arse every step of the way to his bedroom.
OoOoO
Tonks stepped into Remus' ensuite bathroom and closed the door. She drew in a deep breath, leaned back against it, and gave herself one minute to feel her nerves before swallowing firmly and then suppressing any lingering fear. She wanted this and she was ready—of this she had no doubt. She placed her bag on the counter and rummaged in it, pulling out her lingerie and her toothbrush. She quickly scrubbed her teeth to rid herself of her garlic breath, and then, she delicately peeled her clothes away, leaving them on Remus' bathroom floor, smirking like it was a badge of honor. She quickly appraised herself in the mirror and decided on the spur of the moment to go completely natural for this. Silently, she closed her eyes and released all of her morphs.
She was simply Nymphadora now.
And she would allow Remus to love her in her natural state.
OoOoO
Remus had told her once that she looked incredible when she'd worn a navy blue jumper, so the lingerie she had chosen was a simple chemise in a deep navy color with an accompanying navy blue thong. She instinctively knew that she and Remus were well-matched in that neither of them needed or wanted anything but each other for their first time, so she slipped on the thong and chemise, ran a brush through her short, natural brown locks, and critiqued herself in the mirror. She had just decided she was pleased with what she saw when there was a light knock on the bathroom door. "Nymphadora?" Remus said quietly.
She smiled gently and opened the door to him.
His quick and quiet intake of breath let her know that her choices of attire and lack of morph had been good ones. He gently reached for her waist and whispered, "You are perfect, Nymphadora Tonks." Tonks allowed her eyes to drift closed at his words and touch.
She fell against him and managed only to whisper, "Remus…" before his lips captured hers.
It was some moments later that their frenzied kisses had maneuvered them to his bed and down upon it. Remus suspected that they'd both had a "plan" for how the evening would go, but it was obvious that any so-called plans were out the window, so great was their need for each other. As it was, he was barely restraining himself from ripping her clothes off, and he well knew that she felt the same way.
He kissed her hungrily and grabbed her chemise in his hands as he kneeled over her. He yanked it up roughly over her head, leaving her clad solely in her thong. He had a completely random and fleeting moment of curiosity about what Ted Tonks, whom he considered a friend, would think about the things he was about to do to his beloved daughter, but he pushed it away, because there was nothing in existence more exquisite than that which lay beneath him.
"Did you cast Sirius' silencing charm?" Tonks asked with a sly grin.
"Indeed I did," Remus whispered in return. "Nymphadora…" he murmured, "You are exquisite this evening." He stopped everything for a moment, giving himself time to just take her in. He voiced this to her, and as he said, "I just want to look at you for a moment," she had no idea whatsoever how a voice could be so soft and rough all at the same time. All she really cared about was making sure that this voice was the only one she would ever hear in bed for the rest of her life.
Still kneeling above her, he began to unbutton his shirt, never breaking eye contact with her, and he allowed a small, satisfied smile to cross his lips as he saw her hungering beneath him. When he reached the last button and peeled his shirt off, he tossed it aside and leant down, his hands on either side of her shoulders, and decided to start with her breasts rather than her mouth. He suppressed a grin as he was rewarded with a sharp gasp of pleasure as he roughly sucked one nipple while using his fingers to knead her other breast. He was acting on instinct now, somehow intuiting that he needed to be aggressive in his foreplay before turning gentle as he actually took her virginity.
"Like that, do we?" he murmured against her breast as her fingers slipped through his hair.
"God, Remus," was her only response.
He slowly, torturously kissed his way down her torso, stopping to swirl his tongue against her navel, and as his lips moved lower, he finally admitted to her, "I've been smelling your need for weeks, Nymphadora, and dreaming of how you taste, and now I'm going to find out." She couldn't put together a coherent response, and simply lifted her hips as he pulled the thong down and casually tossed it aside.
He sat up once more to take her in, finally naked beneath him for the first time. She gave him a moment, and then glanced down at the evidence of his approval and said, "Why are you still wearing pants?" He grinned and moved toward her, still on his knees. She kept her eyes on his as she reached for his belt and pulled it free, then followed with the button and zipper of his pants. "There you go, Professor," she whispered, her throaty voice giving him chills.
He swung his legs off of her and stood at the side of his bed as he dropped his pants and boxers, stepping out of them without ever breaking eye contact with her. His was the look of a man who knew what he had to offer a woman. It took her a moment to finally break free of his gaze and let her eyes drift down, but she most certainly was not disappointed. She took his naked body in and wasn't sure if she should be thrilled or nervous about what was to come.
Those thoughts were banished, however, when he got back on the bed and moved down to place a kiss directly on her pubis. He breathed in deeply and said, "You're aroused, Nymphadora."
She didn't even open her eyes as she tossed back, "Oh, you think?"
He growled and pushed her legs apart roughly. "I want to know how you taste," he repeated, and lowered his mouth to her. He was pleased to find her already quite wet, and even more pleased to find that she tasted better than he'd even dreamed. His inner wolf was itching to claim her. He slipped a finger inside of her, and at her small gasp of appreciation, he added another. He continued to draw his tongue across her clitoris until he felt small quivers around his fingers indicating that she was near climax. With a small smile, he sat up once more and removed his fingers from her. At her small whimper of protest, he simply said, "Not yet, Nymphadora…" He maneuvered himself above her, settling between her legs, and positioned himself at her entrance.
He looked down into her eyes and, in answer to her nod of consent, slowly and gently pushed into her. He fought to keep his eyes open as she hissed in response and he realized that, had he been a younger man, he would have exploded right then and there, so warm and tight was she. As it was, he looked down at her face and tried to gauge her reaction. Her eyes were closed tightly, making it difficult. On cue, as if she had a direct connection to his mind, she opened them and gave him a small smile. "Give me a moment, yeah?" she murmured quietly.
Remus leaned down on his elbows and lovingly pushed her hair back from her face. "All the time you need, Nymphadora. I don't want this to be painful for you. Do you wish to stop?" he whispered gently. She laughed in spite of herself and opened her eyes, raising a single eyebrow in response.
"Don't be daft, Remus Lupin." She allowed her eyes to drift closed again and murmured shyly, "This moment is all I've ever wanted." She reached up blindly and found his face, pulling it down to hers. She found his mouth and kissed him slowly, hauntingly, sending shivers down his spine. "Thank you for being gentle and patient," she whispered.
Before he could respond, she continued, "I'm ready. Go," and moved against him.
Remus' eyes rolled back in his head before he could stop himself and he moved in and out of her, once, twice, three times, finally opening his eyes and looking at the vision beneath him that he'd longed to see for months. She was perfect. "Look at me," he whispered.
Her big eyes opened and she gave him a shy smile. She lifted her hand to his face and murmured, "You feel good inside me." She swallowed, hesitant. "Better than I dreamed, actually."
He gave her a lazy, confident grin and pushed into her, hard, once.
"I wanted to start like this because I've been dreaming for months about what you would look like beneath me," he murmured, and he felt her muscles tighten in response. "But I did promise that your pleasure would come first and it will be better for you," he flipped them with an easy grace and she gave a small shriek of laughter as she found herself suddenly atop him, "like this," he finished with a small smile.
"Yeah?" she asked in a barely audible voice.
"Yeah," he answered. "Do you trust me?" he asked, seriously.
He looked up at her, awed at her perfect breasts and her flawless body straddling him. How he had managed to secure the love of a creature so perfect as her he was powerless to explain. The fact that she was looking down on him with such trust, such immense love in her eyes, threatened to overwhelm him. And when her perfectly throaty voice answered him, "With my heart and my life," he nearly came apart beneath her. But this night was about her, and he called upon every ounce of his inner self-control and managed to hold it together.
"All right," he whispered. "Bend down," he instructed. She complied and he murmured, "Mmm, yes, like that." He took a moment to suck on one nipple, then the other, desperately trying to ignore her small cries of pleasure at his ministrations.
He took hold of her hips with a firm grip and looked up at her with naked desire. He gripped her hard enough to leave marks and guided her, rolling her hips to grind against him. He watched with satisfaction as she sucked in a tiny breath and allowed her eyes to drift closed.
He allowed himself a small sigh of pleasure and then returned his attention to her. "Yes, Nymphadora, just like this," he encouraged in a husky voice. "Grind against me until you get what you need."
This statement was rewarded with a small cry, followed by a gasp as he bucked up against her. He ran his hands across her bare back, reveling in the feel of her, completely bare above him. He pulled her down a bit and sucked a nipple into his mouth, nipping gently at it as he ran his hands up into her hair and raked his nails against her scalp. He thrilled as she rewarded him with a gasp and began to grind harder against him. Despite his own nearly unbearable arousal, he allowed a small smile of satisfaction to sneak across his lips when he suspected she was close to the precipice. He hadn't thought it would take him long to get her there. "Come for me, Nymphadora," he commanded as her breaths grew faster and her cries became more insistent. "You're so beautiful," he encouraged, his hands still firmly gripping her hips. She was panting now, and he knew she was close.
It was the most erotic vision of his life, watching her above him, with the knowledge that he'd just been the man to bring her fully into womanhood, and that she was approaching her first orgasm with a man. He alternated between gripping her hips as he encouraged her verbally and mentally reciting every Quidditch record James Potter had ever set for Gryffindor as he endeavored to keep himself off the ledge. God, he was so close to losing it, but Merlin be damned, he had sworn that her pleasure would come first, and there was no fucking way he was going to get off before he brought her to orgasm. Their thirteen year age difference was suddenly more advantageous than before, and then—oh god—she was coming undone above him. He gazed up at her in amazement as she rocked her body against his—her small, capable hands sliding into his hair and her lips finding his to kiss him desperately, and then he was lost. He let himself go inside her, and there had never in the history of the universe been a moment so dizzyingly perfect as this one, and some distant part of his mind wondered if their cries of pleasure could be heard in spite of the Silencing Charm, but damn it all, who the fuck cared when it turned out that you could actually feel this good and a creature as beautiful and breathtaking and perfect as Nymphadora Tonks had proclaimed her love for you?
He finished just as she rocked herself into a second orgasm and he fought to keep the grimace of post-orgasm sensitivity off his face as he continued to grip her hips, determined to give her everything she needed.
She collapsed on top of him, utterly sated, and he gently slipped his arms around her, giving a light squeeze.
And then they slept.