One day Kyoushiro was feeling rather horny.
"Jeroooome can we please fuck?" he whined.
"No," said Jerome.
"Fine! Then I'll go find something else to fuck!" Kyoushiro growled.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said Jerome. "Remember what happened last time you did that? You tried to fuck a snapping turtle and it bit your dick off. You would have bled to death if I hadn't saved you."
"THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCK!?" Kyoushiro screamed to the sky, startling a flock of birds out of the treetops.
"You could always fuck me," said Kurotora, stepping out of the trees with a grin on his face.
"Eew! No way am I getting old man STDs!" cried Kyoushiro.
"Oh come on, what's a little platonic fuck between friends?" Kurotora asked. "My brothers and I used to do all the time…until Chutora got pregnant. That was weird. But it might explain why Shigure is so ugly. But don't worry, Kyoushiro, since then I've learned how to use protection. …Kyoushiro?"
While Kurotora had been talking, Kyoushiro had gotten so desperate he'd started to fuck a squirrel. The squirrel had bitten his dick off in protest, and the young Kishu lay dead in a puddle of his own blood.
Jerome sighed and said, "I need new friends."