CHAPTER 2 – First Things First

Kenny surged forward and crawled on top of me, pushing me onto my back and opening my parka to run his hands along my sides. I shivered at his touch, feeling oddly bashful and grateful that the blanket was still covering my lower half. He must have sensed my hesitation, because he leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll be gentle; I'm going to take good care of you."

That sent me into a fit of hysterical laughter, and he joined me a moment later, burying his own mirth against my neck. Those were the same words I'd said to Butters the night I finally took his virginity four months ago. It seemed to have been the perfect thing to say; Butters had looked at me gratefully, and it had gone on to be one of the best nights of my life.

Me, whispering those words to myself however, was one of the funniest things I'd ever heard.

"Dude," I said, reaching around behind him to wipe my eyes. I couldn't think of anything clever to add, so I asked him: "So you're going to top, huh?"

He nodded and smirked. "Of course! Don't I always?"

I laughed again. "There is so much wrong with that." I pushed up against him, grinding my erection against his through the blanket and his jeans.

"God, you're such a fucking horndog," Kenny said with a smile, settling back on his haunches to study me. "Of course you'd agree to this."

"Shut up, McCormick. Like you've never thought about boning yourself if you ever had the chance." I knew he'd thought about it, because I've thought of it…many times. "You'd have agreed too, if I'd suggested it first."

"Yeah…" he came at me again, settling his weight against me and pinning me to the bed. I rolled us onto our sides, and we quickly got each other's clothes off and once we had, we took a long moment to admire each other's bodies.

"Wow," he said wonderingly. "We're going to have to break out the razor before you see Butters."

I chuckled, looking from his carefully manscaped groin to my own wildly unshaven one. 'The razor' was our dad's old electric razor that we kept in the drawer of the nightstand; I used it to shave my balls (Butters loves them that way) and trim my unruly nest of pubes. I usually let Butters do it for me, after doing it myself the first time after each reincarnation so I don't have to try to explain to him how my body hair grew back so quickly.

Kenny leaned in to kiss me, reaching behind my back to pull us close. I reached around him to cup his ass. My mouth was watering at the sight of his erect penis. I'd often wondered what sucking my own dick would be like, and always thought I'd never be able to, limited by the flexibility of my own neck and back (I've tried, believe me). Now that it was right there in front of me I wasted no time crawling down to get it into my mouth and tried to suppress my gag reflex as I took half his length in. He tasted wonderful, but I was going to have a hard time taking it all. Butters is much better at doing this than I am.

He moaned, thrusting against my face, probably involuntarily (because it's something I might have done). I choked and had to stop, pressing my face against his belly while I caught my breath.

"Shit, sorry," he whispered, reaching down to pull me against him. "I'm sorry, man. I'm kind of used to Butters doing that, and he likes it when…well, you already know." I hugged him back as his lips found one of my earlobes and sucked it. I moaned; of course he would know where all my hot spots were.

"It's okay," I whispered. "I mean…after everything else we've been through…having sex with ourselves should be easy, right?"

I knew he understood what I meant: We've died together; we'd been burned to death, torn apart, impaled…and seen the afterlife together, most of which is pretty nice but some of which is pure necronomicon evil. Having sex with each other should be a piece of cake.

After that, he seemed content to let me take charge, and I flipped myself around on the bed so I could blow him and offered him my dick at the same time. It seemed like a better idea than one of us dominating the other. He quickly got it and went to work on me as well, and for several minutes there were only the soft, wet sounds of us pleasuring each other. I noticed again how we both knew exactly what to do to each other to leave the other moaning and breathless.

He tensed up and came first, and I took every bit like a trooper, my own orgasm ripping through me a few moments later. Afterward we cuddled up to each other, pulling the blanket around our shoulders.

"So…that's what I taste like," I whispered. It seemed different from the few times I'd tried my own cum by licking it from my hand. I could totally get behind doing that again.

He cuffed the back of my head, gently and good naturedly. "Asshole…I was just about to say the same thing."

We lay together quietly, his heartbeat loud and slow in my ear. This was nice, but it wasn't like cuddling with Butters. Nothing is as good as cuddling with Butters.

"So," I finally said several minutes later. "Now do you want to talk about what we should do?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I've been thinking about that. I think we should tell Butters first. Let's see how he handles it, and then maybe tell Stan and Kyle. I think we'd better wait on telling Cartman though." That much seemed sensible and I nodded in agreement. He added, "Maybe one of us should hide from everyone for a while…or we can take turns?"

"Nah…I volunteer for that job. Just don't forget to throw some food to me once in a while."

He grinned. "Hey, I wonder if the two of us qualify mom and dad for more food stamps?"

We laughed, curling up together and pulling the blanket over us.

"Does that still hurt?" I asked, tracing a fingertip across the scar on his shoulder. It looked like it could still be tender.

"Nah…not anymore." He sighed. "It hurt like a bitch for a few days though."

I nodded and cuddled up closer to him. We both sighed contentedly at the same moment.

"I could go to sleep," he whispered against my scalp. "Y'want to?"

"Uh huh," I whispered and closed my eyes. He arranged the blanket around us and pulled me closer, and the next thing I knew sunlight was streaming into the room in dusty shafts around the edges of the cardboard over the window. Kenny was still asleep, and I eased away from him and sat up.

My cell phone was in the drawer of the nightstand, and while I was pondering digging it out and texting Butters, Kenny woke up. He smiled up at me. "Hey."

"Hey," I whispered back. "I was just thinking about texting Butters. You know he's going to call us soon."

He grinned and sat up next to me, pulling the blankets over his lap. "Yeah, we should."

Just as he said that, two cell phones rang simultaneously. Right Said Fred's 'I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt' announced an incoming call from both the nightstand and the pile of clothes on the floor. We looked at each other and laughed; my heart was racing, and I was sure his was too. Of course we both had our own phones.

He leaned down to pick his jeans up off the floor, and for a moment his bare ass was a foot away from my face. I shook my head as my dick once again twitched. He flipped open his phone and I read the display over his shoulder.

Incoming text from DRLNGBTTRCUP: Where are you?

He turned to look at me for a moment before tapping out a reply: home. decided 2 sleep in 2day :)

I nodded approvingly at that reply; it was something I would say. Duh…of course it was. A moment later Butters' reply came back.

DRLNGBTTRCUP: Are you sick?

"Umm…what should I tell him?"

I chuckled. "Don't ask me! You're the one that answered him first."

Kenny's fingers paused a moment as he thought, then typed: nah just lazy.

"I'm sure he'll want to meet up soon," I said as we waited for his reply. "You go ahead; I wouldn't mind staying here and sleeping a little more. We can tell him about us this afternoon."

He nodded. Butters reply came back:

DRLNGBTTRCUP: Can I come over?'

We looked at each other again, Kenny's face looking nervous. "Well?"

"We can't say no," I replied. "Tell him…tell him yes. I'll just hide back here when you leave."

Kenny's thumbs typed out a single word: sure

"Ask him when he's going to get here," I said right after he hit 'send'. Kenny nodded and tapped out another message.

Where R U ?

Butters' reply came a few seconds later. Right outside your bedroom :c)

We both jumped and Kenny dropped his phone in his lap when there was a soft knock on the window.