Transylvania!
Author's Note: I really should be updating A&A&A first. Priorities. But somehow Chapter 16 seems to be getting a bit of long. So I went for something much shorter.
As to Rukuelle, she has wandered off and wishes to leave me to write this by myself.
Happy New Year, dears. Thank you to everyone who reviewed.
Surf all day and do the hula: It really isn't very nice, is it, when people are always making mistakes.
Katatonia: Thank you. You do know how to flatter, don't you? 'Mesmerising'…Hee.
RandomBattlecry: Well…I suppose if he liked it I'd be honoured. CAPITAL!
Hollysgirl: Yes, they're probably two of everyone's favourite movies, they're so great.
Dalamar Nightson: Thanks. I wasn't actually sure if it was funny, but as you think so… thanks.
Reicheru: If you have listened to 'All That Jazz' you really won't find that line irritating at all. And the relationship of Anna and Van Helsing in our fics has a long and convoluted history. You shall see.
Asha Ice: You should see Chicago. And no, no Jailhouse Rock, though it's certainly a lovely song, and Maia a lovely singer. Yes, she goes to jail. That's pretty obvious, dear. I'll miss you next year. Really I will, Orli rants and all.
Manveri Mirkiel: No, neither can we. Déjà vu, non? Pop, lissehondonya, pop.
Spaztic Arwen: I had to change the storyline. I don't think Anna would have an affair, and she wouldn't have a husband otherwise. As to coping, it's mostly touch-and-go.
Well, just as a personal advert, the sequel to my debut fic 'Evil from the Past', titled 'Evil through the Windows', will be out on New Year's Day. Go check it out (after you've read Evil from the Past first, of course).
2. Funny Honey
Should never have hired that gardener, thought Anna slightly regretfully.
That gardener had always been particularly fond of digging. Dig, dig, the bulbs and onions. And then one day, he'd dug up the body.
One had to count one's blessings, though. Before that idiot gardener dug it up, her husband's body had lain buried for almost a month. Anna had given out that her husband was away on a business trip. At least the body was so decomposed no one could have identified it.
Anna knew she should be cowering in fear now. Shaking with apprehension. What guilty murderers did when they were found out. But she was strangely calm. Almost as if she wasn't roleplaying, but really innocent.
Because Velkan was covering up for her. Good old Velkan.
They were sitting in the front hall, Velkan and the sergeant. Anna stood behind Velkan, head lowered and a frightened look on her face. Not for me. For my brother. She looked the picture of the demure, concerned sister.
"Where did you get the murder weapon?" asked the sergeant briskly. Behind him, the forensic police moved around the remains, which had been laid out on a stretcher, making sketches.
"It's my family's sword," muttered Velkan. "Used to belong to my father, see." His hands were trembling slightly, but his voice remained steady. Anna wordlessly put a hand on his shoulder. "We hung it up there as a decoration."
"Hm. Good." The sergeant made a note in his book, and presented Velkan with a paper. "Sign right there, Mr. Valerious."
"Freely and gladly, freely and gladly." Velkan signed carefully on the paper. He seemed to have recovered his composure. He handed the paper to the sergeant and beamed at him.
"And mind you don't say we beat it out of you on the witness stand."
Velkan went on beaming. "'Course not. I gave myself up. Surrendered of my own free will, I did."
The tap of boots. Anna glanced up and saw the District Attorney replacing the sergeant. "Aren't you the cheerful murderer."
"Stabbing a burglar isn't murder," put in Anna timidly. "It's…it's self-defence!"
"I'm always glad for citizens who know the law," replied the District Attorney dryly. He switched on his interrogation torch. The beam settled on Velkan's face, making it white in the harsh glare. "Now start. From the top."
As Velkan launched into his fabricated explanation, Anna prayed he wouldn't screw up. Sure, Velkan would do anything for her – but he really wasn't bright enough to improvise or anything, poor man.
"A man's got a right to protect his home and family, doesn't he?" began Velkan with a righteous tone of voice.
"Of course he has," agreed the District Attorney.
"Well, it was nigh a month ago when I came home and saw him climbing through the hall window. And there's my little sister Anna, sleeping like an angel…"
"Is that true?"
The torch beam swung and glared in her face. It reminded her of a spotlight, but without the same welcome feeling. Instinctively she hunched her shoulders, trying to turn her face away from the light.
"I'm telling you, it's the truth! My sister wouldn't hurt a worm! Not even a teeny worm. She didn't even wake up and come downstairs until the first shot. Heavy sleeper, she is. When I think of what might have happened, had I decided to stop by the pub before I came home……it makes me sick even thinking about it."
Anna patted Velkan on the shoulder, a sister comforting her brother. Lucky she had Velkan, she reflected. He had got her out of so many scrapes when she was little. He was always willing to take the blame, so long she wasn't harmed. He loved his little sister more than himself. He'd die for her.
Wouldn't he?
A strange, otherworldly feeling settled around her like a veil. That torchlight beam was blinding her – just like a spotlight, really it was. Her mind began to wander.
There are some places where the veil between worlds is very thin, where people with over-active imaginations can break through any time they want. Transylvania is one of these places. And so it was that Anna Valerious, during one of the tensest moments of her life, found herself somewhere else. She had gone from the world of Transylvania to the world of The Stage.
It was a dream, wasn't it? The Stage was a dream. And it was a very nice one.
The Announcer's voice drifted into her dream. "For her first number tonight, Miss Anna Valerious would like to sing a song of love and devotion, dedicated to her brother, Velkan."
She was leaning on the piano – a shiny black grand piano upon which the Announcer was playing, like she had always wanted for an act. Her salmon satin skirts pooled around her. The spotlight seemed to set her dark curls alight.
"Sometimes I'm right
Sometimes I'm wrong
But he doesn't care
He'll just…string along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine."
She leaned back so she was reclining on the piano. She could see her reflection in the polished black wood.
"Sometimes I'm down
Sometimes I'm up
But he follows round
Like some…droopy-eyed pup
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine."
Back in the real world, Velkan was animatedly describing the battle to the less-than-interested District Attorney. "Like I said, even though I was brandishing the sword at him, he kept coming at me. So I had to stab him, see."
Anna let one arm drape over the piano side, beside the Announcer's music sheets.
"He ain't no sheik
That's no great physique
Lord knows he ain't got the smarts."
How unfortunately true. But Velkan was still an adoring brother.
"Oh, but look at that soul
I tell you that whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts."
She gazed dreamily at the enraptured audience.
"And if you know him like me…"
She ran a hand over the piano top.
"I'm sure you'd agree…"
Of course they did. Of course.
"What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why, he'd be there
Just taking the blame!
He loves me so,
And it all suits me fine…
That funny, sunny, honey,
Brother of mine!"
"And suppose if," exclaimed Velkan, "just suppose if he'd violated her, or something. You know what I mean, violated?"
"I know what you mean," answered the District Attorney, barely stifling a yawn.
"Or something. I'm telling you, it's a good thing I got home on time, I'm telling you that." He nodded emphatically.
The sergeant reappeared and slipped something into the District Attorney's hand, whispering into his ear as he did so. Anna's heart tightened slightly. Was that what she thought it was?
"But why would you think your brother-in-law was a burglar?"
Velkan started. "My brother-in-law? Are you sure?"
The District Attorney held up a signet ring. "This ring was found on the corpse. We've just identified it as bearing your brother-in-law's family crest. That would mean you just killed the only surviving member of your in-laws' family – your sister's husband."
Anna nearly choked.
"Lord knows he ain't got the smarts…"
"I thought he was away…" whispered Velkan, staring in shock at the ring. "Anna told me he was away on some business trip."
"You couldn't recognise your own brother-in-law?" asked the District Attorney disbelievingly.
"I don't know!" cried Velkan. "I never saw the man! I didn't know anyone was killed until today – Anna said it was the burglar she killed a month ago, and she was telling me how I ought to say I did it, because I was sure to get off! 'Help me, Velkan,' she said. 'It's my goddamn hour of need.'"
Her fist pounded the polished wood of the piano in anger.
"Now he's shot off his trap!
I can't stand that sap!"
An image of Velkan appeared on The Stage – sitting on the hall chair beneath the torchlight beam, blabbing on about her crimes.
"And I believed that cheap little tramp. So she killed her husband? What a disgrace to the family…… she was supposed to be happily married in order to keep the family going! And then she blows our chances of being respectable! She thought she could pull the wool over my eyes. Well, I wasn't born yesterday. I tell you, there're some
things a man just can't take and this time she pushed me too far."
She was standing on the piano now, her fists clenching her skirts.
"Look at him go
Ratting on me!
Why, with just one more brain
what a half-wit he'd be!"
She pointed her finger accusingly at the image of Velkan chattering on.
"If they swing me
I'll know who twisted the twine
That scummy…"
Stamp!
"Crummy…"
Gasp!
"Dummy…"
Kick!
"Brother of mine!"
She sank to her knees in exasperation, face drawn in rage.
Velkan put his head in his hands. "I didn't kill him. God, what a sap I was."
Before she knew what she was doing, Anna had dashed off The Stage and back into the real world. She shoved Velkan hard.
"You double-crosser! You big-blabber mouth! You, you……" Her rage swallowed all words and made her speechless.
"You've been setting me up, Anna!"
"Goddamn it."
"But you told me it was a burglar! And the whole time you've been out jazzing…"
"You are a disloyal sibling!"
"Hmph."
Anna turned to the District Attorney, who looked like sternness in person. "Look, it's true. I stabbed him. But he was…he was…"
"Burgle you?" snapped the District Attorney. "Your story doesn't wash, Anna Valerious. You're a woman who killed her husband. You're a disgrace to society."
Another wave of fury washed over Anna, leaving her drenched in rage. These men. They thought women had no rights, did they? So a woman that killed her husband was the worst sinner society had ever seen?
"Yes," she hissed. "I killed him. I killed the fool because he was asking for it. And I'd kill him again!"
"Once was enough." The District Attorney motioned to his men. "Anna Valerious, you're under arrest. Take her downtown."
Screaming and struggling, the police dragged her out of the manor. It seemed that a veritable wave of people had gathered at the door. Reporters, most like, from what they were yelling.
"Here, lady! Look here! Why'd you stick him? C'mon, answer, it'd make for a good read! Turn a bit that way, yes, now give us a nice smile like an angel."
Anna tried to turn away, hide her face, but the sea of reporters seemed overwhelming. The police dragged her to the coach and shoved her in.
"Take them while you can," she heard a policeman call. "District Attorney says this is a staking case."
Staking? What staking? Suddenly Anna was filled with an onrush of panic. "Staking?"
"Not so cocky now, are you?" The District Attorney's voice was cold. "Take her to the Prison of the Church!"
The reporters swarmed after the police coach as it swung down the snow-wet streets, still yelling questions. "Come on, lady! Headline! Why'd you kill him, huh?"
But Anna could not answer. She could not think of anything but that one stark word blazing its way through her head.
"Wait! What d'you mean, staking?"
End of ChapterNext chapter coming…When You're Good to the Cardinal
In which Anna enters the Prison of the Church and watches Cardinal Jinette do an Irish jig.