Hey Mello.
Why are you ranting online like a twelve year old girl? Are you a twelve year old girl? Also, if you're going to post stuff like this online, make sure people know what you're talking about. I mean, nobody but you knows who Near and I are so...you just come off as a freak.
Anyway, why are you posting this crap online? And I do not play dumb. I just can't be bothered being smart. If you want my advice (which you obviously need so greatly) just stop being such a damn drama queen. And nobody, I repeat nobody, wants to have Nears babies. Except Roger. Who knows what kinky stuff that guy is into...
Matt
Dear Matt
How the hell did you find this thing! I mean, I deleted my history after I posted it! And I am not a twelve year old girl! You should know that better than anyone...
I only post stuff like this online because nobody will listen to me here! You're always to busy with your games to listen to me and nobody else gives a crap!
Anyway, what do you mean about not bothering to be smart?! That doesn't make sense! You're either smart or you're not! If you act dumb and you're smart you're playing dumb. And I am not a drama queen! I just get pissed, that doesn't mean I'm emotional or anything! So shut up.
Mello
P.S. You're probably right about Roger.
Dear Mello
I'm good with computers. I always check what you're doing online (not in a creepy way)
Anyway, you look like a girl. I've never seen a guy with hair so shiny.
Look Mello, I like you and everything but...you are such a drama queen. I do listen to you but you're just...boring. You always go on about Near and how much you hate his guts and how no one gets you and if you look fat. Which you don't. You're perfect. For a whiny girly boy.
I don't play dumb. I just...don't like to use my brain to the best of it's abilities. Too much work. And Mello, you are more emotional than a girl on her period. No offence.
Matt
Dear Matt
There is no way that is not creepy. Seriously man, stop that.
Anyway, I like to look good! Just because some of us don't wash for weeks and spend all day playing video games and smoking (which is really bad for you) doesn't mean I can't take pride in my appearance. I am not girly. I am attractive.
I am not boring! I just want someone to listen to me! Everyone hates me and you just ignore me. You call me girly boy and say I'm emotional! I AM NOT EMOTIONAL!
Mello
Dear Mello
By the way, why were you googling "How to make a guy fall in love with you?"
Is there something you're not telling me. It's Near, isn't it! You secretly long to have his sheep babies! Ha!
I will never stop. You're too interesting.
You already look good, idiot. And I do wash. Sometimes. Smoking is cool. I look like a badass when I smoke. You know I do.
It's more than taking pride in your appearance when you spend five hours getting ready in the morning. Nobody except Near hates you. Actually, I don't think Near cares about you enough to hate you. I don't ignore you. I just block out 50% of what you tell me. It's the only way I stay sane.
Mello, just except it. I am a sarcastic, dirty loner who spends half of his time on the internet and you are a self obsessed girly man with the mind of a teenage girl, that spends half his time on tumblr, searching for cute guys and home décor.
Yes, I know all your browsing history.
Matt
Dear Matt
...just please stop. It's creepy.
And I don't want a guy to like me! That was research for a special top secret project that I did for L! I hate Near and his damn sheep babies. Ew.
You're...weird. Seriously...you're so screwed up.
I know I look good. I always look good. Always. Also, you never wash. Please just take a bath, Matt. You're starting to smell of cheese. Smoking is not "badass" it's disgusting. You're basically just sucking poison into your lungs, which really isn't badass. Just dumb.
Anyway, stop going through my computer! I don't like cute guys and home décor. It was research! Just research! God, please stop Matt. It's so creepy.
Mello
A/N: This is basically the lead up to the advice columns. I want to know what you guys think first! Please review! I'll give you Matt!