Well, thanks to PhAnToM 1212, this is now going to be a multi-chapter fic of oneshots. *sweatdrops* This was inspired by a drawing I made (see cover image), and the fact that I needed baby photos for a school assignment. Going through dozens of boxes of cute pictures made me really want some baby cuddles, so you get tiny Berlin—and Prussia and Germany having absolutely no clue how to deal with a baby. ^.^
Note: they don't know he's Berlin. They just know they found a baby who won't stop crying. They find out what (or is it who?) he is later.
Disclaimer: Sadly, only Berlin is mine. Or maybe luckily. I would screw up so badly at owning something as genius as Hetalia...
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Germany blinked.
A baby...? To keep?
This was going to be interesting.
O-O-An Hour Previously-O-O
They found him in the woods.
Germany had dragged Prussia, Japan, and Italy out of bed at six AM for training. Even though the war was over, he still felt the need to keep the people he cared about ready to defend themselves. It was his way of showing affection. As the two brothers were walking back to their home through the woods, Germany stopped.
"What's that noise?"
Prussia frowned. "I don't hear anything. What are you talking a—"
A child's wail pierced the air. The two men looked at each other.
"Where's it coming from?" Gilbert looked around.
"I think I see something in that tree..." Germany pointed. Sure enough, there was a basket wedged between two of the highest branches, a whimpering noise coming from it.
"How did it get up there?" Prussia scratched his head in confusion.
Germany scratched his head. "No idea. But we aren't just leaving it here. How on earth will we get it down?"
"Simple. I'll stand on your shoulders."
Germany sighed.
Five minutes later, Ludwig was struggling to stand as straight upright as possible with his brother standing on his shoulders in his socks, balanced precariously on tiptoe.
"Hurry up. You aren't exactly easy to hold," he grumbled.
"Shut up. You know I'm barely half your weight, mister muscles. Besides, I've almost... got it..." Gilbert stretched as far as he could reach. He grabbed the basket just as he lost his balance and tumbled down, straight into Germany's arms. "Told you the awesome me could do it, West!" He grinned, hugging the basket tightly.
"Ja, sure." Setting him down, Ludwig rolled his eyes. "So, is there really a baby in there?"
Prussia pulled aside the blankets. A tiny child was sleeping curled up underneath, no longer crying. The baby couldn't have been more than two weeks old.
"So... we're keeping it, right?"
"What?"
"It's practically a law of nature! If you find a baby in a basket you have to take care of it."
"Gilbert. We know nothing about human children."
"He doesn't look human," he offered hopefully. "And are you really gonna leave this little guy all alone?"
Prussia was right. The child was incredibly pale, possibly albino like Prussia.
Gilbert lifted the tiny form out of the basket, holding him up inches from Ludwig's face. Just then, the tiny boy woke up, blinking pale blue German eyes at him. He was the picture of innocence.
Germany sighed and hoped he wouldn't regret it. "Fine. We'll keep him."
O-O-Present-O-O
Prussia looked up with wide eyes. "Ah! West! It's crying! What are we supposed to do when it cries?!"
"Well, first of all, it's a baby, not an it." Germany shot a look at Prussia. "Second of all, I think we need to feed him." The wailing baby grabbed a fistfull of Germany's shirt. "Ow! ...see?"
"...what do we feed a baby?"
"Milk, obviously. Do we have any bottles?"
"I doubt it, unless you mean beer bottles." Prussia glanced at their kitchen. He glanced back at the tiny boy. "Is he even old enough to drink from a baby bottle?"
Germany sighed as the baby continued crying. "He better be. We don't exactly have any other way of feeding him. Now go call America and tell him we need baby things. I'm sure he has plenty of that sort after fifty children. I'll go and see if we have anything in the attic that we can use for now." He handed Prussia the still-wailing infant.
"Wha—why are you giving him to me?! I don't know how to take care of a baby!"
"Neither do I. So figure it out quick."
He left before his brother could protest.
Ludwig climbed up the stairs, then up another flight, then pulled down the trapdoor that led to their attic. The house was old, almost as old as he was. Prussia had lived in it since he first found a five-year-old Germany wandering around with no memory of who or what he was.
He reached the top of the ladder and coughed as a cloud of dust billowed up in his face. "...ugh. We really need to clean this place."
Boxes and chests and parchments covered every available surface, remnants of Germany and Prussia's long histories.
He pushed aside a stack of old papers to reveal the trunk he had been looking for. Lifting the lid, Ludwig pulled out a pair of military uniforms from World War One, and then a few more sets of clothes, each growing progressively older. At the bottom was a long navy blue cloak with a large matching hat, and a white cape and tunic with the Teutonic cross on the front. Lifting the ancient clothes carefully, Germany pulled out a white nightgown, made for a very small child. Beside it lay a hand-carved rattle and an old baby bottle.
He replaced all the other clothes and shut the trunk, grabbing the baby clothes and turning to go back down.
On the way past his room, he paused, his eyes resting on the highest shelf. A faded brown bear with two once-bright button eyes sat propped against a stack of books.
Setting down everything he was carrying, he reached up, standing on tiptoe. Even though he was almost six feet tall, he still had to stretch to reach the teddy bear.
Tucking the bear under his arm and heading back to the kitchen, Ludwig noticed that it was oddly quiet. He walked a little faster, worries building up already.
Quiet was almost never a good thing, especially when the people you cared about had a tendency to never shut up. (Really, was Japan the only person he knew and actually liked who didn't talk incessantly?)
He set down what he was carrying and looked around. Prussia was nowhere to be seen.
Then he heard a voice from the next room. "...but don't worry, West is gonna find you tons of clothes and toys and all kinds of baby stuff. And you'll get to eat really soon, I promise." He heard baby gurgles of laughter. "You're a good boy, aren't you, Lukas? I'm gonna call you Little Awesome."
Germany walked over to the door and looked in. Prussia was sitting cross-legged on the floor, talking to the baby in his lap, who had stopped crying and was now gazing up at him with curious blue eyes.
Blackie, Berlitz, and Aster were all sniffing at the baby curiously, wondering what this tiny human was. Berlitz sneezed and looked up at Prussia questioningly.
Germany laughed softly.
Prussia looked up, his ears going red. "I... Uh, I named him Lukas. Is that okay?"
"It suits him. Now go find the milk, since we don't have baby formula. I found a bottle in the attic. And this." He handed his brother the rattle. He hid the bear behind his back. He would show that later.
Prussia grinned. "Hey Lukas, look!" He shook the rattle. The baby giggled in delight.
Gilbert handed the rattle back to his brother. "Keep making him laugh. I'll go get some milk. Where's the bottle?"
"Kitchen counter," Ludwig replied without looking up. He looked down at the baby. "So... Your name is Lukas now, ja?"
Lukas blinked and wiggled happily.
"I found you some clean clothes." He felt ridiculous talking to such a small child, but he continued anyway. "Here." He pulled off the dirty blanket the baby was wrapped in and tugged the flailing limbs into the neck and arm holes. "Is that better?"
Lukas giggled and waved his fists around, smiling. Aster licked him, making him giggle even more.
Prussia came back with a baby bottle full of milk. "I heated it up on the stove. You're supposed to do that, right?"
"Ja. Here." Germany picked up the baby and handed him to Gilbert. "You feed him."
Lukas drank the milk greedily, emptying the bottle. "Geez, you were hungry, huh?" Prussia grinned at the baby. All he got in response was a yawn, the little pink lips forming an "O". He looked up. "Hey West, where's he gonna sleep?"
Germany frowned. "On one of our beds, I suppose. We can put pillows around the edges so he won't fall."
Prussia shrugged. "Fair enough." He looked down at Lukas. "Let's go, mauschen. Time for bed." He turned and started up the stairs.
"'Little Mouse'?" Germany asked with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" Gilbert shot him a look. "I like it."
Ludwig shook his head with a slight smile. "Here." He handed his older brother the teddy bear. "Bär needed a new friend."
Prussia grinned. "Aw... Do you still sleep with it?" he teased.
"Of course not!" Germany responded, perhaps a bit too quickly. His older brother raised an eyebrow. "...shut up," he muttered.
"Knew it. Come on Lukas. Vater's bear is going to be your new friend."
"...Vater?"
"What else is he going to call you and I? You'll get used to it." Prussia turned to give him another look, then disappeared upstairs.
Germany smiled slightly into the silence. "Vater..."
Yes, he could definitely get used to it.
THE END
I hope you're happy, Phantom! I tried to make this good for you. Next might have Italy and Rome (Yay! Cute toddler playdates!) Or it might be something else—I have a few ideas floating around. Updates on this may not be as often as I would like—I have other stories, and school—but I'll try!)