"Whatdya mean today's the day?" Cas said groggily. He knew that if Dean came to get him personally, it was a big deal.
"The day it's all over, Cas," Dean said softly.
"What? What is that supposed to mean?"
"The day we kill Lucifer."
There was a long silence. Dean came into the room knowing that Cas would not be happy. Fortunately, Dean waited patiently for Cas to accept what was going to happen. He expected this, as he had gone through the exact same thing when he decided that it was time, there was nothing left to do. And Cas sat silently. How could Dean even think to this? 3 Years ago he would have died, than think of killing Sam. If someone had so much as come near Sam, Dean would have thrown himself at them. Watching over his little brother, because it was his responsibility from the moment Sam was born. Dean knew it in his heart. Now… Now he was different. The past 5 years had been brutal to Dean. He was never the same after Cas left, and Cas regretted that. But he couldn't mean… Sam?
"You don't honestly think that Sam's gonna make it through when you pull this little stunt?" Cas uttered out, his frustration showing.
"I know perfectly well that I'm not going to be able to spare Sam." Dean said slowly as he looked to Cas. His eyes were red, and his face was puffy. He had bags under his eyes, obviously from so many restless days. He was shaking, but he was trying so hard to stop himself. Cas knew that he had been in misery. But, this was DEAN. He had to think of something else. Why did he just give up?
More silence.
"What happened to you Dean? 3 Years ago, you would have died, suffered years in Hell, HELL FOR GODS' SAKE, for Sam. In fact, YOU DID GO TO HELL FOR HIM. FOR SAM. Little brother Sammy. You two are the brothers who'd go to hell and back for each other. Now? Now, here you are plotting his death. He would NEVER give up on you. He never did, and never would. What the fuc-"
"Cas. I'm not that guy anymore. I'm not his big brother. I'm a failure man, look at what happened to him. It was my job to take care of him. Dad… He would be so disappointed" Dean whispered, almost rehearsed, as if he had been through this talk with himself before, and many times after that.
"Well he's not here. I am. I admit, I thought of giving up on Sam. But, we can't. You and that kid are something. Something that's caught every species attention. Demon, Angel, Vampire, Werewolf. This cannot be the only way." Cas said as he slammed his hand down on the desk.
More silence flowed through the room. Dean looked the floor; he didn't have the balls to look Cas in the eye.
"Cas, there's no other way. You have to see me through. Look, unless you know another way, we're leaving at dawn." Dean croaked. Now he looked to Cas.
This time Cas turned away, he couldn't look Dean in the eyes.
Dean got up and moved to the corner. "We have to kill Sa-", Dean couldn't finish. Dean looked away. Silence froze the time in the room. Cas heard a subtle sniffle come from the corner Dean sat in.
"Dean," Cas whispered, "There has to be another way." He too felt a steaming hot tear stream down his cheek.
"YOU THINK I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF THAT CAS?" Dean screamed as he stood up looked to Cas again. A tear danced down his face now, and immediately Dean wiped it away, gave a sour look and attempted to calm himself, breathing heavily.
"Dean…"
"LOOK IT'S NOT HELPING THAT YOU AREN'T EXACTLY A HEALER, HAVE ANGEL RADIO ANYMORE, OR THAT YOUR BROTHERS JUST GAVE UP TOO! WHO ARE YOU TO TALK? EVERYONES GIVEN UP ON HIM," Dean yelled. His veins were popping from his neck.
"I'm sorry. I jus-"
"I haven't given up on him. So why did you?"
Silence.
"Look Dean, are you sure, I mean we could always do more research, I mean…"
"That was always Sam's department."
After a long pause, Cas mumbled, "Well. Sam isn't here."
"And whose fault is that?" Dean muttered. He slumped and instinctually his hands found his way to face.
The silence was dangerously long. Cas was pained by the thought of seeing Dean, over his brothers dead body. Once, more.
"I can't watch you with your brother. Dead. Again."
"What?" Dean said puzzled.
"When Azazel put Sam in that camp, you two were a big thing in Heaven, the brothers to fulfill the prophecy. I saw you care of your brother, sell your soul. And before I met you two, I felt a pang in my chest, and I was an angel. Not very common. I can't watch that again."
"I'm sorry Cas."
After a long pause, Cas looked down. His eyes, empty. He felt, empty. No… Sam. There had to be… But there was nothing. Nothing that they could do, Bobby was practically a drunk. There was no one to turn to. There was nothing else they could do.
Slowly, Cas resigned. They had nothing. No more options. Nothing. Cas walked to his closet.
"Where do you think you're going" Dean said.
"To get my gun."