Title: Lives They Didn't Live

Rating: PG 13

Author: Y3lhsa

Summary: Jack learns more about the strangers who landed in his lap.

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Chapter 2

Hank looked over at Jack as he walked in, and then turned back to the screen.

"What is so important about these people that I had to come all the way up here... again Hank?"

Hank waved at the screen and replied, "I know you wanted to be kept apprised of the goings on Jack. I thought you might want to see this. It was recorded a few hours ago and although they are no longer here, I felt you should see this. I'll let you have some privacy. When you've finished, just turn it off. You can have the tape and it's the only one so don't worry about anyone else seeing it."

Jack looked confused as Hank walked out of the room, and then watched as Daniel and Sam settled onto the bed in her quarters. The sound was on but there wasn't any talking from Sam and Daniel for awhile. Finally Daniel started talking.

"Sam, it's ok to grieve."

"How did you do it Daniel? I feel... empty, so empty. It hurts so much. All those years under the same command, him in Washington, me in Atlantis. I don't know how to exist without him. I can still feel his arms around me, his voice in my ear. We should be at the cabin right now. We should be celebrating the demise of the last of the system lords, drinking beer and fishing. Nothing to do but enjoy being in the same galaxy! This is so wrong, all these years. The other me from the alternate reality told me that having Jack there made it a little easier, but this Jack..." Sam words died out as Daniel pulled her to his side and she folded into him shaking with silent tears.

He waited until she stopped shaking to continue, "When Share first went missing, I couldn't think about her without feeling helpless. All I could think about was finding her, getting to her before the goa'uld hurt her. When she died, I was relieved that she wouldn't have to suffer anymore, but I also thought about all the years we missed out on. That year I spent on Abydos was special and as much as I will always treasure that year we had, I am glad she didn't have to live with the memories of what Amonet made her do. Jack told me once that he never regretted falling in love with you, ever. He said it gave him the courage to keep doing what we did. Because he knew that what we were fighting for was about giving everyone the chance to have that. To be able to go to work, fall in love, play with their kids."

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Jack paused the recording. He remembered the first time he met Samantha Carter. Out on the ice thinking he was talking to a ghost. The rest of the trip was still weighing on his mind three weeks later and he was so distracted, Sara thought he was seeing someone. So did Charlie for that matter. Of course he couldn't tell them the truth, but he also couldn't get this woman out of his mind. He dreamed about her and wondered how she was doing. There was a pull that he could rationalize away. Not with everything they had told them. The ring the navy had found at the bottom of the Antarctic, the weapons platform. The amount of information was extraordinary in itself and that they were here in any capacity was too bizarre.

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"He kept in touch with Sara." Daniel looked at Sam surprised.

"Really, recently?"

"She would call a couple times a year, mostly around Charlie's birthday. When he told her about us she came to visit me when I got back from Nevada. Jack had left the day before and she said she just wanted to talk, get to know me. She remembered me from the hospital when Jack was replaced by the crystal entity. Jack was allowed to tell her a bit about the Stargate program so she knew we were doing something in the mountain and that it was dangerous. It was why she kept in touch with him. She said she was glad that there was someone who understood all of him, the man and the soldier. He didn't mention us often but she could tell he thought of us as family now. She was happy for him. That there was something for him to fight for, to live for. He told her about our time on the ice planet. The memory stamp? He didn't mention me at all, just you and Teal'c. She said that was when she realized there was someone else. Having to rein all that back in was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. It took a long time for us to feel comfortable around each other again. Then you died and I couldn't talk to him about it. As far as he was concerned you had moved on to a better place and we shouldn't grieve. I was so angry with him then. He wanted to go on like nothing had happened, like there wasn't a piece of us missing!"

"Sam, you know that's how he is. When I came back from Abydos he told me that although he knew he would never forgive himself for what happened to Charlie, he also knew that he would never go back to where he was when we first met. He respected my decision and I don't think he really believed I would be gone forever, which he was right about actually. He never gave up. When he was captured by Baal, he never thought for a minute that you and Teal'c wouldn't find a way to get him out. There I was trying to get him to ascend and he stubbornly refused to accept that there wasn't some other way out. Your replicator duplicate helped me remember that. Teal'c told me about him and Maybourne being lost on that moon. I'm sorry you had to go through that again. You should have seen him when you got marooned on the Prometheus. No one wanted to talk to him for fear he would snap. Teal'c talked to him after a couple days and he didn't snap anymore, but he just didn't talk to anyone."

"When he went missing with Maybourne I lost it. I shouldn't have let Maybourne get to my weapon. I couldn't believe that I was going to lose him after just losing you. All that time and he was on the moon. He was so close and I never realized it."

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Jack remembered that name. When she had woken up from her nightmare, she mentioned that Maybourne had him and she couldn't find him. That must have been what had happened. He wondered just how many times he had gone missing.

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"I never told you, but when I was lost in the nebulous cloud... I started hallucinating. Like the Wizard of Oz. You were there and he was there and Teal'c was there. So was my Dad. I realize now that I was trying to convince myself that Jack and I could work something out. At the time all I did was convince myself I needed to move on, hence Pete." She grew quite for a moment, then continued. "I never told Janet about him, did you know that?" she glanced at Daniel out the corner of her eye and saw him start.

"No," he drawled. "I didn't. I understand why you didn't though. A few days after Martouf's death she and Teal'c cornered me and told me about what was said during the zatarc retest." He paused, turning to look at Sam. "It never mattered to me you know. You guys had already proven yourselves capable of being able to work through your differences. We were already so close by then, we seemed to be psychic. Well there were a few hiccups here and there." Daniel laughed. "Every time we got leave, he and I would bet on whether or not you would go fishing with him or stay on base and fiddle with your bike. Of course he knew you would say no and yet every single time he would bet the opposite. I won a lot of money off him that way I tell you."

"He came to me just after my father died and asked if I wanted to have dinner. I didn't know that Kerry had broken up with him and I was embarrassed that I just showed up at his door with her already there. So... I said no and he told me right then that he was being promoted and was leaving for Washington in a few weeks. He didn't want to leave without continuing our discussion. It was so easy Daniel, so comfortable and right. I was happy, really happy. Even when the Ori showed up, every time we were together, nothing else mattered. I just want him back. None of this feels real, it feels like a nightmare. Like the goa'uld or the replicators have me in a virtual reality and you guys are going to bust me out any time." Her eyes filled with tears again as she looked at Daniel, "But this is all real and I don't know how I'm going to live without him."

"One day at a time Sam, just wake up every morning. Get up, make breakfast, run errands, build a stargate out of spare toaster parts." Sam laughed outright at that.

"Oh my god, I still don't know how Orlin did that. I never understood what these guys ever saw in me. None of them really even knew me. Narim thought I was an angel and Martouf just missed Jolinar. I know he said he cared for me too. Lantesh said the same but neither of them really knew me. The real me. When I told Pete that my boyfriends had a habit of dying, he really thought I was kidding."

"You actually said that?" Daniel butts in.

"Of course I did, it's true. The only ones who have managed to remain alive have been Pete and Jack. And really, I still managed to break Pete's heart. I swear I'm cursed Daniel. Only Jack seems to be immune." Sam paused, stricken. "I guess not though. He is dead. I'm not sure that counts now that he's alive again." She looked at Daniel as if seeking reassurance.

"You're not cursed Sam and if you are then so am I. Hell I fell for the Destroyer of Worlds! Considering the sheer amount of people we come into contact with, it's a miracle any of us are alive to even be infatuated with. Ok, Teal'c shouldn't be left out either, what with Drey'ac and Shan'auc. Of course Ishta helps. I think Jack turned out better than all of us. Sara, Laira, Kenthia... Kerry, you... Yeah. Better luck than all of us." Daniel grinned at Sam looking quite smug.

Sam started laughing, holding her side as she kept giggling. "Oh, you forgot the woman on Land of Light! As far as we know, she's still alive."

"I'm not sure that counts, I don't even remember it. I do remember getting beat up for wanting to visit you in the infirmary though. Of course, how many alternate realities are you and Jack engaged or married in? We can't leave those out. We have the first one I went to, then there was that time Dr. Carter came through the mirror in Area 51. Of course both of those were attacked by the Goa'uld but then we had all those that came through with SG-EVIL! Even she was married to Jack. We were so busy with the Ori I didn't even consider this. I can't believe neither of you have told me this before. I know you did a survey Sam; you wouldn't be you if you didn't. So... what was the final tally? Come on, spill." Daniel wiggled his eyebrows.

"This is the reason he forbade me to tell you. He did, he actually gave dire consequences should you ever find out." Sam glared at him shaking her head.

"It's not like he's going to find out Sam. Even if we fix this, we won't remember having this conversation much less him finding out."

"Oh alright. There were sixteen teams and four of them didn't have any of the original members. That left eleven that had me on it and that one with you, Janet and Martouf. Of the four new teams, all of them had us as the original team, however two of their Samantha's died with Jolinar and the other two did eventually marry Jack. Out of the eleven teams with me on them, including SG-EVIL (You know better than to let Cam name anything), nine of them were either engaged, married, or dating Jack. The other two didn't even know who Jack was; he had died on the first mission to Abydos. With those two, you still stayed on Abydos and actually never came back with us the second time. Share wasn't kidnapped; she had gone with us to see the glyphs. Janet told me that her Samantha had married Jack five years earlier because I didn't join the Air Force and was never made a member of SG-1. McKay was!" Daniel's eyebrows shot up at that revelation. "I know. I would love to be able to hang that over his head. So, out of nineteen realities including the previous two... that is a total of fourteen realities in which Jack and I are together in one form or another." Sam grinned at the shock on Daniel's face. She had the same reaction when she discovered just how many realities included them together.

"I would feel so much better if I could tease Jack with this, but I guess this time the knowledge will have to be enough."

"We had fun didn't we? You remember the look on Katano's face when I severed that log in half? I thought he was going to throw up then and there. Jack told me later that he wanted to show me off just as much as the P-90's that day."

"What! Coming from anyone else that would sound chauvinistic."

"He had noticed that none of the women there trained. All they did was cook and look after the fighters. I never suspected that was part of the reason, he always had me do that kind of stuff. The same as you always talked to the natives."

"I loved it when you bit his hand. That was so the highlight of that mission." Daniel winked.

"No, you living through that mission was the highlight Daniel." Sam replied sternly. "The first of many close calls with you. I swear Teal'c and I had a standing order. Anytime we were left alone with you, we were supposed to leave one eye strictly on you and the other on whatever we needed to be doing."

"Yeah, well, Teal'c and I had the same standing order with you! As well as with Jack. I remembered something else from when I was ascended. Really, RepliCarter helped me uncover allot of buried memories." He glanced at Sam out the corner of his eye. Seeing he had her attention, he continued. "I remember you lying on a cot with Jack sitting next to you. Teal'c was in the cage adjacent to you and surrounding you guys were people. They didn't look right though. They looked wrong. I don't remember Jonas there, but I do remember seeing you sit up and Jack ordering you to get some rest." He could see recognition on her face and hurried to finish. "You gave Teal'c this look, I don't know what it meant but he turned around and you leaned your head against Jack's shoulder. Just for a second. I remember thinking how lucky you guys were. There you were in the middle of all this heat and death and that you could find some comfort in all that... you never knew how that made all the torture and waiting and dying worth it. One of the things that made losing Share a little easier was knowing that when all the fighting was over, we would still be here. You and Jack, Teal'c and Ishta, Rya'c having the chance to grow up free and marry someone he loved and respected. I found comfort in that."

"So did I. I'm so proud of all of it. All of the times we've been kidnapped, lost, tortured... every death. Freeing the galaxy from the Goa'uld and helping the Asgaard destroy the Replicators has made the sacrifice easier. I just hope that one day, all we did will right itself. That none of it will have been in vain. It's a standing order that as soon as the Stargate is made public, all the men and women who have died will have their names on a wall outside the front gate of the mountain. Jack told me that whoever is head of the SGC is going to do it. Cassandra's home planet, the Tok'ra and the Jaffa will be on there also." They fell quite and after awhile stood up and got into their beds.

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Jack let the tape play thinking how lucky he was. He had his son, a great career and he didn't have to deal with all this anymore. Watching Samantha Carter sleep however, he couldn't help but think how much better this world could be if everything they said was true about the changed timeline. He read the report. Every mission. Every ally they made, every world they freed. It seemed impossible but for as "Who me?" he liked to portray, he did know a little something about Einstein, Newton and what they said happened could in all likelihood have happened. Considering two of them shouldn't even exist and one has a twin out there with the same identity he couldn't deny the reality of this. As much as he enjoyed his life as it is, he knows that if they get the chance to correct this, he hopes they do. The cost is too high when considering the bigger picture consists of two entire galaxies. Instead of destroying the tape, Jack O'Neill slips it into his side pocket and leaves the room vowing to spend as much time with his son as he possible can.

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