I just wanted to note that we did indeed set this story before the Morning After Pill was legal here in the states. Wouldn't be much of a story if she could just swallow a pill and be done with it!

Chapter 1 - Decisions

SPOV

Two weeks after the condom broke, I was officially late. I knew I had to bite the bullet and buy a pregnancy test, or go to the doctor, but I didn't want to face it. I wasn't ready to be a mother, and it was entirely too soon for Eric and I to even talk about having kids, let alone actually have one. I knew it was our own fault too. We shouldn't have relied on just one method of birth control, and now the consequences were very real.

I wasn't sure if I should take the test with Eric or not, and I had no idea how he was handling the situation when I was barely doing that myself. Mostly I avoided bringing it up because it scared me shitless. Not just the being a mother part, but what it would do to Eric and I.

We had only been dating for four months when it happened, and while I really, really liked him, and knew I was falling for him, I wasn't in love with him yet. Eric was a great guy, he was fun to be around, and he made me laugh like nobody else could. And then there was the sex. Sex with Eric was always good. Great, even. Phenomenal. It never ended with either of us the least bit unsatisfied. But in the last two weeks even though he'd been trying to put the moves on me, I wouldn't let it happen. I was just too freaked out.

Since I wanted to know what he wanted, I decided to call him before going out and getting a test. We hadn't talked too much about the possibility of me being pregnant because we didn't know if I was or not.

His phone only rang a couple of times before he picked up.

"Hey Sook," he said happily.

"Hey," I said, and suddenly found that my mouth was dry and I couldn't get the words out.

"What'cha up to?" he asked casually.

"Nothing," I squeaked out. "What about you?"

"Just straightening up the apartment. The guys were here last night," he explained.

"Oh," I said absentmindedly. I just needed to come out with it, and I couldn't.

"You okay?" he asked, picking up on something being wrong.

"Not really," I admitted, and was suddenly thankful we were having this conversation over the phone because my eyes welled up.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently.

It was time to rip the bandaid off.

"I'm late."

"Late for what?"

"My period."

"Oh," he said, but I could tell it wasn't the same 'oh shit' moment that it was for me. "Is that normal?"

"No," I said. "I think I need to take a test."

"Oh," he said again, and then there was a moment of silence. "Do you uh... do you want me to come over?"

"Yeah," I sniffled. "We need to take a test and talk about this."

"Okay. I'll leave here in a minute," he said calmly.

"I'm going to run down to the drug store and get a few tests," I said. "You might get here before I get back."

"If I do I'll just wait outside for you," he promised.

"Thank you," I said.

"No problem. I'll see you soon."

We got off the phone, and I slipped on my tennis shoes and put a bra on, then left for the store in my pajamas. It was only a pair of flannel pants and one of Eric's t-shirts that he'd left at my place. I'd seen people wear worse to nicer places.

I had a mild panic attack as I stood in front of the tests, and then wanted to kill whoever thought it would be nice to put them next to the condoms and lube. Why didn't they keep the pregnancy tests with the baby stuff? Or would that be too rude to the people trying to have a baby? Either way, it didn't help my nerves. I picked two different kinds, and tried to ignore the judgmental looks I was getting from the cashier when I bought them. If I hadn't been totally freaked out, I would have sassed her.

By the time I got back to my place, Eric was already there, waiting outside like he said he would be. He smiled in a somewhat sympathetic way when I walked up to him, but I could see that he looked nervous too.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," he said, but didn't hug me like he usually would when we saw each other.

"Come on in," I said, and started for my apartment door with Eric right behind me.

"So um, how late are you?" he asked as we went up the stairs.

"I should have started two days ago," I said. "Sometimes I'm off by a day or two, but this is the third."

"Oh," was all he said. Not very helpful.

I stopped at my apartment door and pulled out my keys to unlock it. Eric was silent as we went in, and I weirdly went into hostess mode.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Tequila?" he joked.

Strangely enough, it broke some of the tension, and I smiled. "I'm fresh out."

"Damn," he smiled at me. "I guess I'll settle for water then."

I went to the fridge and pulled out the pitcher of filtered water I kept there and poured him a glass.

"Here you go," I said as I handed it to him.

"Thanks," he said, but didn't take a drink.

I eyed the bag from the pharmacy on the counter like it was a bomb about to go off.

"I guess I should go take those," I said.

"Do you want me to wait out here or..." he trailed off, his eyes fixed on the bag as well.

"Not unless you find me peeing on things really interesting," I said, and picked up the bag.

"Then I'll stay right here," he said, and leaned against the counter.

"I'll be back in a minute," I said, and went down the hall and into the bathroom.

My body was suddenly on autopilot, and I took the tests out of their boxes, read the instructions, which were pretty identical. Uncap and pee. So I did. Then I put the caps back on the tests and set them each on the box they came in before going back out to Eric.

"Well, that part is done," I said.

He nodded and asked, "How long do we wait?"

"A couple of minutes."

"Okay," he said, and then crossed the room to give me a hug. "Sorry I didn't do this when I first got here."

"It's okay," I said, and when I wrapped my arms around him to hug him back, I realized how much I'd really needed it.

"Do you think the tests are going to be positive?" he whispered. He hadn't let me go yet.

"Yes," I admitted.

"Are there other symptoms?"

"My boobs have been sore, and my sense of smell is really good all of a sudden," I said.

He released me from the hug and said, "I guess this is what we get for pawing at each other all the time, huh?"

"No, this is what we get for being stupid," I said.

"Sookie, we weren't stupid. We've always used protection," he reminded me.

"We should have doubled up."

"It's not like we didn't talk about it," he said calmly, and it was starting to get annoying. "We'll figure this out."

"How can you be so calm about this?" I asked, even though it was good to hear him say we'd figure it out.

"Because until the test says there's a reason to start freaking out, I'm trying to keep my cool. Besides, even if the test comes back positive... we'll deal with it," he said.

"Deal with it how?"

He sighed and said, "A question like that is always a trap. No matter what I say I'm going to be wrong. If I tell you I'll support any decision you make, it's like I'm putting it all on you. But if I tell you what I think and you don't agree, then I'm an asshole."

"You're only an asshole if you tell me what to do," I said.

"I won't do that."

"We should probably go look at the tests now."

"Okay," he said, and followed me to the bathroom.

"I guess you take one and I'll take the other?"

"Sure," he said, and reached for one of the sticks.

I picked up the other and looked at the little window, which had a plus sign in it. For positive. As in I was pregnant. I double checked the box to be sure, but it was fairly idiot proof. Even though I'd been expecting it, it was still a shock, and I absentmindedly found myself moving to put the toilet seat down so I could sit on it.

"I guess that one was positive too, huh?" Eric asked numbly, and set the other test down on the counter.

I didn't say anything in response. I couldn't. A whole world of change and responsibility came crashing down on my shoulders, and the only thing I could do was cry. Eric knelt down in front of me and pulled me into a hug.

"It's going to be okay," he said, even though I had no idea how he could think that.

"How?" I asked. "Are you saying that because you know, or because you're scared shitless like me?"

"Both, I think," he said, and pulled back to look me in my eyes. "Yes, I'm scared. We didn't plan this, obviously, but we'll figure this out, Sookie."

"Easy for you to say," I said, even though I knew I shouldn't have.

"Maybe if I just walked out on you it would be," he said.

"But you're not going to?"

"No, I'm not going to. This is as much your responsibility as it is mine," he said.

"Okay," I nodded, and wiped my eyes. "Then what do you want?"

"Honestly? I don't know," he said, and stood up. "I didn't really think about what I'd do if... I've never been in this situation before."

"Neither have I," I said. "I mean... well, where do you stand on abortion?"

"I don't really have an opinion. I always thought it wasn't really my place to have one since I would never have to have one," he said. "But I might have to rethink that now."

"Okay," I nodded, and got up. "Do you want some cookies?"

"Sookie, wait a second," he said, catching my hand as I walked away. "What do you think about abortion?"

"I think I need to bake some cookies," I said, and headed for the kitchen.

He followed after me at first, but quickly blocked my path.

"What?" I asked.

"You didn't answer me."

"Because I don't know right this second," I said, and threw my hands up before dropping them down at my sides again. "I need to go into my kitchen and throw ingredients in a bowl, and clear my head like my Gran taught me."

"Okay," he stepped out of the way. "Would it be better if I left and gave you some space to think?"

"No, we need to talk about it," I said as I went into the kitchen. I started pulling down measuring cups and ingredients and utensils.

"Just not right now," he said, leaning in the doorway.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. "We can talk right now, I just need something to occupy me so I don't completely freak out, okay?"

"Okay."

I focused on what I was doing again, and started talking. "I always thought it was stupid for girls to use abortion as a form of birth control. I told myself I could never do that; that if it was my own stupid mistake then I should deal with the consequences of that. But now I'm in their shoes, and I get it, and that scares me."

"So you're considering that option?" he asked.

"I wouldn't say that," I said, and pulled flour out of my freezer so I could measure it. "I'm just saying that I see why some would choose that."

He nodded, but kept quiet.

"I know you're saying you won't leave right now, and I believe you, but who's to say that won't change six months from now? I'm not ready to be a mother, especially one doing it alone. I've still got a lot left to accomplish before I'm ready for a baby. I'm almost still a kid myself. And I'm not sure I could give a baby the life it deserves. Abortion seems like an option, and that scares me."

"And if it's the one you choose, I'll support that," he said. "But there's also no guarantee six months from now you won't want me around, so we're just going to have to trust each other. I don't know what's going to happen with you and me, but I promise you that if you decide you want to keep the baby and we don't work, I won't abandon the kid."

"I've seen men break that promise before," I said, remembering my cousin Hadley being pregnant at seventeen. The guy who knocked her up left her just five months into the pregnancy. Thankfully she met a great guy when her son was three, and they've been together ever since, but that time was terrible for her.

"I'm not them," Eric said simply. "I handle my business, even when I don't necessarily want to."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I stopped measuring ingredients to look at him. "Is this something you don't want to handle?"

He sighed heavily and said, "It means I'm not going to punk out on you, Sookie."

I took a deep breath and apologized. "I'm sorry."

"Look, I get that right now this is a bigger deal for you because it's your body that goes through all of these changes, and if you decide not to keep the baby... I'm not saying I wouldn't feel guilty if you ended it, but it would be worse for you. But you're not alone in this," he said.

"So what does this change between me and you?" I asked. "You say I'm not alone and that you're going to stick around, but how do you mean it?"

"I don't know if this changes anything between you and me," he stepped closer. "We're definitely not ready for marriage, so for me that's not even on the table. I like the way things have been with us. I like spending time with you, and I like you a lot. So unless you'd rather end it-"

"I don't want to end it," I interrupted him. "And marriage is so off the table for me it's not even funny. I like you a lot too, and I would love to see where we go, but I'm not willing to get married just because this is happening."

"I think that would be a mistake," he agreed. "So we'll just keep things as they are, and if we're in a better place before the baby comes, assuming you decide to keep it, we can talk about maybe living together."

"You'd actually live with me?" I asked with a small smile.

"Yeah," he said. "I like having you around, and it would definitely make things easier on the kid, wouldn't it?"

"I would think so."

"But we can talk about that later," he said.

"Yeah," I nodded, and got back to work mixing my dough together. I knew the recipe by heart.

"What do you think about adoption?" he asked a few minutes later.

"It's..." I paused and thought a moment before continuing. "It's a noble thing to do, but I'm not sure I'd be strong enough to give up my baby. If I was sixteen, that might be another story."

"I couldn't do it," he said.

"It would be too hard," I said.

"I don't know how I'd feel knowing my kid was out there somewhere but it wasn't really mine," he said, and went to the table to grab his glass of water.

"I wouldn't like it either," I said, and went to the fridge for the eggs and added them to my bowl. "So we're nixing adoption as an option?"

"Yeah, I think so," he said.

"Okay," I said. "I know what you already said about abortion, but I really do feel you should have some say in that option."

He thought for a moment and said, "It's not that I don't want kids. I always thought someday, with the right person, it could be a good thing. Maybe even with you, but not now... not yet. I'm not ready for it either, but if I have to be, I can get there. It happens all the time. I guess what I'm afraid of is that twenty years from now I'll look back on this and wonder what if we made the wrong choice? I don't want to feel like there's something missing, you know what I mean?"

"I do," I nodded, and paused in my cookie-making to look at him. "I don't want to wonder."

"Not to get all whimsical, or philosophical on you or anything, but maybe this is the universe's way of telling us something other than we need to use better birth control," he suggested.

I smiled and looked back into my bowl before saying, "It could be."

"This doesn't have to be a tragedy," he said, as if the idea dawned on him suddenly.

"No, it doesn't."

"What does your gut tell you, Sookie?" he asked, stilling my hands, and turning me to look at him.

I looked up into his eyes, and told him my gut instinct, the first thing that came to me without thinking.

"To keep it," I said.

"Me too," he said, his eyes holding mine.

Before I could stop myself, I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

"I think we could do this," he said quietly.

"I think so too," I whispered back. "It's not going to be easy, and I'm probably going to freak out more than I should, but... we can do it."

"So... we're decided then?" he asked.

"We're keeping the baby," I said, more to just say it than to really answer his question.

"Yeah, we're keeping it," he said, and sounded as stunned as I felt.

Looking forward to hearing what you all think! I'm not sure what time of day I'll be posting these. Any suggestions? I work early in the morning until the early afternoon, so I can post when I get home or before I go to work, or I could post before I go to bed so it's there for everyone the next day. Just wondering if anyone has a preference.