"Kneel," Thor was saying with his usual cocky grin one day when they were taking shelter as two commoners in an inn during an unexpected snowfall.

This was one of their rituals from the very beginning of their games, and the older brother was used to Loki sinking to the ground—after some protest—to lend his silver tongue to pleasurable ends.

But Loki had been irritable ever since Thor's idea of ruling as husband and wife had taken hold of his brother's mind. This day he merely stared at the fire where he was warming his socked feet. "I won't have you, you know," he said about their ongoing argument about marriage. "Why would I give my hand to someone who never once thought to kneel before me?"

It was only his latest way to put off his brother's touching enthusiasm for this future he'd cooked up, but Loki was truly surprised to see the big, blond head lowering to an unimagined level and, shortly, the thick tongue fumbling around with his nether bits.

"Like this, Loki?" the hot mouth asked his member for some undefined period of time.

His slim hands were lost in the coarse hair, and much sooner than he would have wished, Loki was panting with what he knew to be a foolish expression on his face. "One might think you'd done that before," he whispered in a susceptible tone with none of the bite he intended.

"No, it's that you inspire me to be more than I already am. You see, my heart?" The big man drew the slender one close to him. "I would give you anything you ask, if you will only give yourself to me. Put me to the test and you will find me man enough for any challenge you set."

It was not the first time that Thor tried to prove wrong one of his brother's reasons for avoiding his suit, but now the older sibling began pouncing upon every supposed fault Loki pointed out. Loki was quite helpless before the Thor now eager to perform any perversion so that he could elicit Loki's frankest cries, a sound that never ceased to surprise Loki himself.

But this was not the only way in which his brother was surprising him. The idea of winning over his chosen bride had turned Thor into a different man overnight. No longer easygoing and lazy, he was eager to show his brother, his father, anyone who might think otherwise, that he was indeed kingly material.

For the first time, Thor listened to the various intrigues unwinding in the stateroom and ventured his own opinions about what should be done. Loki was already well aware that his plans had taken a sharp turn for the worse some time back, so he watched these displays quietly. He was beginning to gather that it didn't matter what Thor said, so much, but that he believed he had a right to say it. Thor did seem a king, arguing with his father about some military strategy. And when Odin rebuked the young man for some failing, Loki was the only one to see Thor's new rage for what it was: a love that would not be turned from its target.

Naturally, the court thought that Loki was sulking in a corner because his brother was showing him up, but in reality, Loki was paralyzed for another reason—by the poison that had entered his system with his brother's proposal. Or earlier than that: Loki now understood that some deadly warmth had been worming through his deepest passageways and now the hardened, cynical surface he had so proudly cultivated was a coating a mere inch thick, the rest of him having melted into some treacly sentimental soup from Thor's growing passion. For hours at a time, Loki let his crust cave in and he gave in to enactments of some short but happy future he was pledged to prevent.

Loki had gone several times to seek out the counsel of the old dwarf, but his hut was abandoned and no one knew where he might have gone—no one could pass up the bounty the prince placed upon the gnome's head. So, naturally, he turned to the offerings of other dwellings in that part of town, careful to buy one ingredient in each apothecary he visited so that no one would divine his plan to fight poison with poison.

It was most convenient to use the hair-clasp given to him by Thor, one of the many jewels and trinkets his brother was showering him with these days, and the only thing he didn't take off when they had each other. The hasp was sharpened, dipped in the noxious fluid and then fastened to his hair, awaiting the moment when Loki had at last had enough of this feeling he refused to name. Then he would plunge the slender weapon into one of Thor's most hidden arteries, in a place that no one but him would ever see or touch or adore again.

"My love, father is going to cede the throne very soon, I know he was impressed with the way I led the troops on maneuvers today," Thor confided while performing one of his new amorous skills, yet another area in which Loki was forced to recognize his brother as a quick study. "Have you planned your death to the last detail so we'll be ready?" Thor asked with an incongruous smile.

Yes, Loki could see the chain of events leading to his death unfolding, as he had since drinking those few noxious drops. The first vision from his dream had been of his brother sitting happily on the throne and giving a sidelong, smirking glance to a figure bedecked as a queen. "We made it, and I'll have you later," the look said.

Then there was only monstrousness and death. A shocking amount of blood flowing out of the pale woman with the dark hair bleeding out across the pillow.

Thor stopped what he was doing, sensing the other's disquiet. They were now connected by a nerve Loki was helpless to root out, even as he felt it growing around his own neck. "Do not be sad about leaving your life behind. My Loki, you will be born into a new life with me. And then we will bring life to a new generation for the kingdom." Loki went rigid with terror. "Only be mine, as I am already yours, body and soul. Have you chosen your new name yet?"

He should have known there was no stopping it. Once Thor got going, all that power just built and built and the only thing left to do was wrap your legs around tight for the ride. Father and Mother were planning the coronation ceremony, leaving Loki the consolation that no one was paying attention to his conflict. This gave him the opportunity to be honest with himself as he should have been long ago: Loki wouldn't be able to kill his brother.

The alternate scheme was supposed to buy him some time. Who could think with all their humors at a rapid boil because Thor was always near?

The timing couldn't have been better. Odin was poised to name the new king when the wily old man sensed it, as Loki knew he would.

"The Frost Giants," his father breathed.

The well-planned mini-invasion—for which Loki had laid the groundwork—went perfectly. The intruders were quickly dispatched. Thor was not made king, and thus, not in a position to choose his queen. Loki enjoyed seeing his brother stand up to his father's predictable wait-and-see approach. Disaster averted, for a time.

He hadn't been precisely for Thor's insistence on going to Jotunheim, but mostly Loki was worried about one of their enemies realizing that it had been the younger brother who had led them into the trap in Asgard, and killing him for it. But no one could stand in Thor's way these days, and the dangerous trip seeking to rain retribution on the heads of the Frost Giants had been taken.

Then there was only the fight. "Thor is magnificent these days," Loki was thinking in admiration. "He's a whole man with a purpose, and I was the one to give him that—"

The Frost Giant's icy hand on Loki's arm called him back to the fight. With what would surely be his last thought, Loki prepared to die. "The Rhymester's Share was wrong," he considered with surprise. "I'm not going to die in a childbed soaked with my own blood. I'll freeze and crumble right here."

Except he didn't.

Loki and his attacker stared at the unnatural blue seeping up his arm. His mind retrieved another central message from his dream:

"Monster."

"Monster." The word welled up from some deep certainty he'd always ignored, and he looked at the creature staring at him with its unnatural red eyes that recognized something of itself in him.

Loki slew it. He then buried his questions with everything else he was used to keeping to himself.

He and his brother were rescued by their father, as Loki had intended, and then they were brought before the king to be scolded. It had happened many times exactly that way.

When Odin did so much more than that, Loki was surprised and horrified. He didn't actually want to give up what he and his lover had together—he merely wanted to keep things as they were. He tried to come up with some soothing lie but Odin roared him into silence. Then Thor was gone, banished, and Loki was alone with his father.

"The casket wasn't the only thing you brought back from Jotunheim," he stated flatly.

"No, it wasn't."

Loki listened to the tale of his own monstrous parentage from the man he had thought his father. "Why did you do it? Why bring me back? You do everything with some purpose," Loki demanded. Odin hesitated. "Tell me!"

"I had thought of bringing about a lasting peace between our two realms, through you, but as your mother has often pointed out, you have brought much more to our family." Loki was calmed for a moment. His mother, that is, Frigga, was a wonderful woman. "For instance, it was she that pointed out from the beginning how well you and your brother complement each other. 'They can do without each other no more than night can do without day,'" she used to say as we watched our sons, the dark head and the light, sleeping. Together, your mother and I saw what you and Thor could not for so long: that you, Loki, would rule Asgard."

Confused, Loki tried to understand what he was hearing. "Me, as king? Then why all this pomp leading up to Thor's ceremony?"

Odin smiled his tired smile. "My son, I did not say that you would be king. I said that you would rule. Everything I said to your brother today was the truth: he is neither temperate nor well-schooled. Your grandfather was much the same. That is," the king amended, "After he was kicked in the head by his horse. His chancellor ruled in every way except the literal one from then on."

In most of his portraits their grandfather did wear a permanently stunned expression, but Loki had never thought about the person in the chancellor position during his rule. "That's all very well. You schooled me to do my lessons and Thor's all these years, and you intend for me to keep on carrying him, but you'd never allow a Frost Giant on the throne of Asgard!" he spat.

Then he added more quietly. "Besides, Thor isn't all that stupid."

("Yes, he was. He loved a monster," came the unwanted thought.)

"Thor is a good son, and a good man, but he lacks a certain quality you are blessed with in abundance, my son," Odin said, making a calming gesture when Loki flinched at the title. "You know what needs to be done, no matter how unpopular it may be, and you have the strength to do it. That is what your mother and I saw you doing so well from the shadow of the chancellor's seat, while Thor brought his many good qualities to the throne."

"And what made you think that the amoral bastard you raised would lend his duplicity to your plans?" Loki muttered.

"Because you have already proved yourself."

The prince looked up sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Let us join your mother, my dear Loki. She is waiting for us."

Loki allowed himself to be led into the queen's private chamber, where she had a refreshing drink ready for him. He refused, preferring to keep the bitter taste in his mouth.

"My dearest Loki, my son who has brought me so much companionship and amusement," Frigga began, and then said something completely unexpected: "It is only natural that your brother should have sought comfort in your arms." She held up her hand at her son's spluttering.

Finally Loki managed, "You knew we weren't brothers, so it was no crime." His plan would never have worked. What's more: his mother had just taken all the excitement out of what he'd believed to be incest in a few words.

She nodded. "I told your father it was better than Thor siring a lot of natural sons, though you I had taught how to avoid such a calamity at an early age."

"I'm not a sop for my brother's youthful emissions!" Loki cried, staring from one parent to another. "Is that what you kidnapped me for—to be the plaything of a prince!" He felt filthy. Perhaps his mother had been enchanting him for this purpose his whole life? That brought up another question: how could his magic have been so poor, besides?

"How did you know, mother? This sorcery was of my own innovation, and I'm positive no one at court has sensed anything amiss. Heimdall suspects not a thing."

"You underestimate a mother's knowledge of her sons," Frigga smiled indulgently. Loki's gorge rose at the idea of the many perversions practiced by the two boys being meticulously predicted by their parents.

Odin took over, "It was not something we planned, but as I am sure you are aware, statecraft requires seeing an opportunity where one least expects it. These many months you have had Thor's affection, and eventually his love. You were becoming ill by denying yourself his company, and your mother and I did nothing to keep you apart. Your brother can now see nothing but you."

Some terrible presentiment was growing in Loki's mind. Could Thor's wooing of his chosen "bride" be a plan sanctioned by both his parents? "I won't have him! I refuse him several times a day!"

The two sovereigns exchanged a satisfied nod. "I know, my son," Odin said. "You had complete freedom to do otherwise, but you chose to give up love because it was the right thing to do. You are ready to rule. And after your brother has calmed down a little, you will rule by his side, not as his wedded spouse, but as chancellor, as the one who makes the hard decisions required to protect our kingdom."

"You would never have let us marry," Loki finally understood. "Anything but let me mix my filthy Frost Giant blood with Thor's." His dream-visions of deformed offspring now made too much sense. Suddenly he put together the two hatchet-faced girls that were always hovering about with his parents' designs. Which of them was intended for Loki, and which had been smirking at him, knowing that Thor was destined for her?

"Perhaps in a few generations, that will be possible, but now such an offspring would be the best excuse for our enemies to dispute the throne," Odin said with is detestable even tone.

"But content yourself with the idea that you, Loki, are laying the groundwork for peace in the future, by giving up your happiness for today," his mother said warmly.

"Whatever understanding you boys come to with your respective wives is, of course, not your mother's nor my concern," Odin said, his eye looking vaguely towards the ceiling.

Loki felt all the breath sucked out of him. His so-called parents had even planned out his future adultery.

He was suddenly very glad he was not related to these people.

"You don't know me, nor Thor!" he burst out. "We'll find a way to rule together, our way, you'll see! He loves me more than any throne. Yes, me, the monster with his monstrous appetites! I had to hold him back from going into exile for the sake of walking down the street with me on his arm." Loki was looming over his father, fixing on nothing else but that eye staring at him in wonder. "That's right, I'm going to find him wherever you sent him and say yes! You'll see what happens then, you spidery old man, the day I turn my noxious breeding parts upon the throne of Asgard!"

(Blood and monsters, his own death, mattered nothing to Loki at that moment.)

"Loki! Loki!" His mother was shaking him. Together, they watched Odin Allfather slowly collapse.

"Oh, Mother, I'm so sorry!" Loki said over and over as the attendants were called and his father borne into his chamber.

"He doesn't always tell me when he is going to enter the Odinsleep, so perhaps this was foreseen," Frigga comforted him. "Your father sees many steps ahead, and he loves both his sons. You and Thor together are two halves of your father." Loki knew that he was assigned to the scheming, non-loving part of his supposed scion, and was too overwhelmed to argue any more on that strange day. "Dear son, you and Thor will be reunited someday, and you will both see things more clearly after this separation."

Loki retreated to one of the portals that revealed the Earth's goings-on most clearly and tried to regain mastery over his situation. Or gain it for the first time, as he saw his controlled existence clearly after today's revelations.

Perhaps it was the knowledge that he was some puny version of a Frost Giant that was weighting his limbs with cold and gripping his heart with ice. Or, more likely, Loki was tainted by that frosty conversation with his meddlesome parents. Of course they wouldn't think he was good enough for Thor. Luckily, the trusting and good older brother was nothing like his parents. Thor had thought Loki to be plenty good enough for him, and he wouldn't mind what his beloved's true parentage was. They were always too busy when they were together to think of such things.

A sly smile on his lips, Loki searched for his brother. And was brought up short.

What's this? Thor swanning about, shirtless and chastened, in front of some mortal women? From all the way in Asgard, which might as well be icy Jotunheim without his lover, Loki watched the earthly events unfolding. At the same time, some of the images from his foreseen future welled up in his mind.

One of the mortal women Thor was talking to was in Loki's dream. He'd thought her a handmaiden or something, plain thing that she was, but the resemblance was unmistakable.

As was Thor's courtly, doting expression as he explained the mysteries of the Nine Worlds to this cunt.

Loki could now see a new danger, more pertinent than controlling parents. He prepared to visit Earth, taking extra care in his aspect and in maintaining a neutral demeanor. The last thing he was going to do was beg for Thor to remain true to him. All the while he was imagining the insipid seduction scene that would take place between his brother and the mortal:

"Oh, Thor, you're so otherworldy and muscly!"

"Oh, human maiden, you have nothing to fear from me, your humble servant."

Simper simper, snot snot. Does this girl know what kind of positions Thor had him in? That they had to stop going under disguise into whorehouses because Thor's fervor was such that they made the other customers flee for their lives with the shaking?

Loki had lost many things today, among them any sense of who he was, but he wanted to be sure of one thing. He appeared before his brother on earth.

"I had to see you," he said in a more craven tone than intended before that rough-hewn lump of comfort he sorely needed right then.

Thor looked so lost and vulnerable.

Loki wanted to slap him.

"Wake up! Our parents are trying their best to ruin our lives!" was what he wanted to say. But he could smell the human bitch's stink on his brother, and so what came out was some spontaneous series of lies about their father being dead and Thor's banishment indefinite.

"You don't question me at all, brother? Have you not met me?" Loki wanted to say. "If someone came up to me and said one of our parents were dead—well, I might not mind so much, wait till I tell you what they've been plotting—but you can be sure I'd ask for their bloody head on a pike as proof before I resigned myself to a life as a mortal!"

Thor hung his head.

"Don't just sit there, you knob!" He surveyed the puppy-like look of hurt in Thor's eyes as some new, hardened Loki kept talking and talking. "Interrupt me! Say how much you miss me!" Loki was thinking desperately. "Have you already forgotten our plans? Fight for me! Fight against the monster in me!"

They were talking so stiltedly, these two men who should find some world where they could be alone in their love. But at the same time, another Loki was rising up out of the ruins of his life, saying, "It's not love. It never was. If I ever tried my hand at something as prosaic as love, I would never choose someone so pathetic."

Loki left the husk of his brother sitting passively in some too-small chair. Thor looked for all the world like the portraits of their grandfather, post kick to the head.

It couldn't be love, what he felt for Thor. The part of Loki that almost wanted to say yes—yes to marriage, yes to dying in a river of blood bearing some half-monstrous offspring with his brother—was never quite strong enough to edge out the part that refused this fate foreseen by the Rhymester's Share.

Although, if Thor had snapped out of it for a second and asked for Loki's hand once more, at that moment—who knows what his bruised heart would have said. But Thor was too busy proving himself unworthy of the risk, and the calculating mind his parents had urged into growth was capable of seeing that Loki had already lost any claim he once had over his brother.

He tried to retrieve Thor's hammer from where it had been flung by their father, but he had survived just fine this long without it. And he intended to continue to survive.

Loki returned to Asgard without Mjolnir but with a new weapon at his disposal:

Disappointment with anyone and everyone.