6. Going to a crime scenes does not count as a date.
Unless of course your date location becomes a crime scene, which in your case has a very high probability of happening.
I think a dead man with a missing head, as well as Lestrade and I and even the rest of Scotland Yard - no wait - make that the rest of humanity ,would prefer that you paw in the crime scene while being your arrogant know-it-all-self because you are trying to solve a case, rather than having you walk around and showing off to a woman by deducing that the blood splutter and jagged lacerations in the flesh indicate the use of a blunt bone saw on a conscious victim.
Seeing you trying to impress her, will be cute but very disturbing to watch as well.
7. Related to Tip # 6, make sure that she actually knows that she's going on a date.
I should have placed this higher in the list, because it's more likely that she'll end up going out with you under the impression that it's all for a cover up.
When you ask her out on a date –actually, when will you ask her on a date?- make sure that the words, "you", "me" and "date" are not used in the same sentence or paragraph with the words "case" and "help".
In fact, you don't need those two words. Really, it is not that hard. All you have to say are eight words in the right order.
"Will you go on a date with me?"
Once you have said it, shut up and wait as she takes it in. If you're lucky, she'll touch your forehead and ask if you are sick. If not, she'll laugh at you.
Don't try to do or say something witty in an attempt to salvage your ego.
It needs to be sunk once in a while.
Just look on the bright side. If it's the first, then at least you get physical contact, if it is the second then at least you made her smile. Once she's finished laughing or making sure that neither you nor she is sick and hallucinating, repeat those eight words with a serious voice and a sincere face.
She'll immediately understand that it is a real date.
At that point, you'll either end up spilling your repressed emotions or cradling the body of a passed-out pathologist.
Again, look at the bright side. You'll either make her smile again or you'll have physical contact. Either way, when she gets around it, you won't find yourself spending a night with her while keeping up the pretense that the harmless manager is actually a drug lord.
8. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Get used to it.
I know that you are no longer a boy.
Physically.
Nor are you merely a "friend" by that time, but that is what you are, or will be – a boyfriend.
I have read that having a proper term helps in avoiding awkward situations. Bad luck for you, the term used nowadays is "boyfriend". It is not immature, it's proper. Besides, in every sense of the word, that is what you are going to be - a boy or a male who is a friend that will always be there for her and will always be a presence that she can turn to.
But if you really insist that you are not a boyfriend, then fine we won't refer to you as Molly's boyfriend.
I guess you'll be her…loverboy.
9. Shakespeare is free. Use him.
He is famous partly because of people like you – desperates who don't have silver tongues.
I think Molly would prefer being compared to a summer's day than to a cold corpse lying on a slab, despite it belonging to a previous beauty queen.
10. Unless the microbe is part of the GIANTmicrobe Heart-Warming Mini Microbe box, a culture of mono microbes is not equal to a bouquet of roses.
I know that mono is also known as kissing disease, but a petri dish of it won't get you anywhere near kissing.
A/N The Heart-Warming Microbe box is a cute box of plushie microbes that includes a mono microbe, a sperm cell, egg cell, penicillin and pink amoeba. In my headcanon, Molly either owns one, or Sherlock finally gets around buying her one for valentines - of course, under the suggestion/coersion of John.