So I banked my Alex favor and decided to work my shift today. No need to sit around home sulking. One sulker is enough in this, not-relationship, thing we have going on. What is it with the moods. How does one person go from ultra dreamy elevator attacks to dark and brooding and woe the love of my life wont have dinner with me? In less than a 10 hour period? I have no idea.
I know I'm not the most cheery of people these days, but seriously, at least I'm consistent. Sure there was the ill fated bright and shiny attempt a few months back… god is that all it is, yeah, man how crap did my life get in such a short period? Anyway, what was I thinking, oh yeah, Bright and shiny pffft. It's kinda like how "they" tell you not to crash diet, they don't work, and sometimes you just end up fatter than before. So that's what I'm trying to do, just gradually improve my eating habits so I'm healthy for a lifetime (that's an analogy right, I'm not really turning into a health nut.. one of those in a relationship (not that we have one at the moment) is enough too).
So here I am at work, on one of my rostered day. In an ok mood, not twisty, but not shiny, just me. I'd really like that uninterrupted 48 hours with Derek one day. Not just the sex, ok so mainly the sex, but you know, 48 hours, just to be. Us. Cause you know, he seems to at least stay consistent when we are spending time together. It's not like he changes mood's so much on me when were hanging out, at the trailer or mine. The moodiness and the dramatic shift in his take on things all seem to happen when we spend time apart.
Weird, I just kinda worked that out. Why I wonder. It's like someone else is getting in his ear and influencing how he feels, but who? Who would he go to for advice about me? Mark? Yeah right, man-whore, cheated on his wife Mark, I don't think so. The Chief? Affair with married collegue, wife leaving him Chief, no not him either. Bailey? Burke? Nah, I can't see him bothering to take our issues to others, he's not that guy is he? No, he's pretty confident and sure of himself…. I can't see him knee jerking to other peoples opinion about us, Not to the degree that his beahviour seems to shift when we are apart.
Hmmm.. maybe it's hormonal?