Author's Note: Here's the conclusion of the story and how Luke and Lorelai cope with the day after their night before. (And the day after that. And hopefully, all of the days after that!)
Chapter 2: How to Balance Your Life
Sometimes even chefs don't feel like cooking. That's when they go to Luke's.
Sookie had been heading home when the urge for a Luke's burger hit her. Her going-home plans were waylaid as she diverted to the diner. She greeted people happily as she made her way to the counter and hoisted herself onto a stool.
"Hey, Luke!" she trilled out when he came to stand in front of her. "Two of your finest burgers and fries, please!"
"Just you tonight?" he questioned, while he wrote down her order. "No Lorelai?" He was proud that he could say her name without drooling.
"Nope. She was late getting in this morning, so she's staying to make up for it." Sookie leaned over the counter a little towards Luke, conspiratorially. "She was at some high society thing last night for Emily, and just between you and me, I think she did something slutty!"
Luke stopped breathing.
"Yep!" Sookie continued, giggling, oblivious to Luke's reaction. Prodding him like this about Lorelai was something she did from time to time, just to remind him that he needed to act before another Max or Christopher came along and stole her away. "I don't know the details, but I'd bet my best whisk that she had a very interesting time, if you get my drift," she added, trying her best to wink. "Say, Luke, you weren't in Hartford last night, were you?" She looked at him then, laughing at her attempts to needle him.
For just a split second, Luke's face showed panic. That was the split second Sookie looked up at him and registered it. Her laughter disappeared.
Her eyes widened. She blinked. Made the instantaneous decision to pretend she hadn't seen what she saw.
Luke knew she knew. But he decided to pretend that he didn't know she was pretending she didn't know.
He closed his eyes briefly, reflecting that he'd been around Lorelai too much.
"Um, did I mention I need those burgers to go?" Sookie asked desperately, trying to turn her bubbly back on. "So, uh, get crackin' there, diner man! I've got a hungry guy at home waiting for dinner!" She threw her arms around for emphasis.
Luke tried to smile. "On it," he muttered, and turned towards the kitchen.
Oh, Lord! Sookie kept thinking. She bopped around on the stool, trying to look casual, trying to act carefree and normal, but ending up looking possessed. Thankfully Luke made the food in record time, and soon she was paying for it, trying hard to show how fine and unaware she was, and how normal this transaction was.
"Bye!" she shouted, practically running for the door.
Luke breathed easier after she left, but he chewed his lip nervously. Lost in thought, he picked up the coffee pot and started his way around the room for refills.
Sookie briskly made her way two streets over to her home, keeping a smile plastered to her face so that anyone watching her would see just how normal everything was.
Everything's fine, she kept thinking, nodding to imaginary passers-by. Nothing to see here!
Once she reached her own front porch, she allowed herself to stop and reflect. This could be really, really good, she considered, or this could be really, really bad. Either way, they needed to figure it out on their own. She looked down at the bag, staring at the Luke's logo. She was fond of Luke, and she loved Lorelai like a sister she never had. All she wanted was for Lorelai to find her own Jackson, and she'd always thought Luke would fit the bill perfectly.
A sudden giggle leaked out of her. Man, she would kill to know the details!
She closed her eyes, and thought about arugula. She was good at distracting herself with vegetable thoughts. Nodding, she opened the door. She and Jackson would discuss the arugula crop, and then she would look up recipes for the leafy green. She would absolutely not think about her best friend and Luke doing slutty things in Hartford. Hmm. Maybe she and Jackson should do slutty things in Stars Hollow instead…
"Jackson!" she called out, crashing open the front door. "Come talk vegetables to me, baby!"
Pulling up in front of her house, Lorelai let her brain turn off for a few, brief, restful moments. She felt like she'd been playing catch-up all day after her late start. The Inn had been hectic with guests checking out and then preparing for a group of tropical fish enthusiasts expected tomorrow. Of course, no matter how busy she was, in the background her mind had been constantly turning over and over what she'd done the night before, and trying to come up with a plan for dealing with the mess she'd made.
Not that Luke was a mess. Far from it. Luke was fine, with his fine shoulders, with that surprising tattoo, and his fine eyes, and his fine…
Stop, stop, stop! She told herself.
Exhausted, she pulled herself from the car and dragged herself towards the porch. Just a few more steps and she could go take a hot bath and collapse in her own bed.
She gave a strangled shriek as someone suddenly rose from the shadows on the steps.
"It's just me," Luke said quickly, wanting to quiet her.
So not who she wanted to see. "You gave me a heart attack!" she snapped, trying to smack him as he dove away from her. "What are you doing here?"
Luke motioned at the steps and they both sat down cautiously, carefully keeping distance between them.
"Here," he said, pushing a bag at her.
Unsure, she looked at him and then peeked in the bag. It was her black sweater. She poked further into the bag. "You didn't find anything else?" she questioned.
"Oh, those I'm keeping," Luke said matter-of-factly. Lorelai's head shot up as she stared at him, barely able to believe what she'd just heard. He fixed her with the sexy smile and smoky look she'd learned from the night before, and she felt herself melting all over again.
"Just make sure Jess doesn't find them, then," she tried to say firmly.
"He won't," he assured her.
"Oh, my God!" She felt wild giggles trying to break out at the absurdity of the situation, and put her hand over her mouth, trying vainly to stifle them. "Did you put them in the safe?"
Luke grinned and looked away, shrugging.
She tried to wind back her emotions, which were ping-ponging in all directions. "I should let Rory know I'm out here."
"Oh, she knows," Luke said. "Well, she knows I'm out here, waiting for you. I didn't want to scare her, thinking that some weirdo was sitting out here on her front porch. I told her I needed some advice from you, and that I'd just wait for you to come home."
Lorelai nodded, feeling the familiar warmth ooze through her at the way Luke always thought about Rory and did his best to protect her.
"So," Luke sighed. "You didn't come into the diner today."
"Well, no," Lorelai protested, instantly feeling attacked, for some reason. "We were crazy busy at the Inn. Two maids suddenly decided they both had to come down with the flu at the same time, and we had 25 rooms to turn over for tomorrow, and Sookie had some sort of crisis with hazelnuts that I won't even try to understand, and Kirk came by with a weed spray that required a haz-mat suit to get within a football-field distance to it, and…"
Luke put his hand on her arm, stopping her. "You didn't come into the diner today," he repeated.
Lorelai took a breath, ready to launch again into her defense, but instead sighed. "No," she agreed.
Luke took his hand away, looking straight ahead in the darkness as he let both of his hands drape over his knees. "Lorelai, I know you. I know why you didn't come into the diner today. I know you won't come into the diner tomorrow, or the next day, or however long it takes before you come to terms with what happened."
"That's not true!" she insisted.
"I know you," he said emphatically. "I know you won't come in, and I don't want that! I don't want to lose your friendship. We just got back together. I don't…I don't want you to think you have to stay away until you get this cleared up. I don't want things to change between us!"
"But I…"
"No! Stop! I don't want you to say anything now," he pleaded. "I want you to take your time. I'm not going to push you. Take all the time you need. Make a hundred pro-con lists. I don't care. Just don't say something now, in your hurry to make everything right, that's going to make it worse. I want this to be your decision, and I'll abide by whatever you say. If you want to be friends, that's fine. If you want that― that, whatever they call it, 'friends with benefits,'" he momentarily floundered, "that's fine. If you want something more, that's fine. But I want you to take your time, and not jump off the cliff now."
Lorelai wanted to laugh as he struggled over the 'friends with benefits' and she wanted to cry at the yearning struggling in him. She settled for watching the fireflies twinkling in her lawn.
"OK," she said, softly.
Luke let out a big breath. "I just…I don't want to lose what we've always had."
"I don't want that, either," Lorelai agreed.
"So, promise me you'll come to the diner tomorrow. We can pretend nothing has changed. Just come in, and we'll go back a couple of days and you can eat enough to feed a family of five, and I'll rant at you, and we'll make everything normal again."
"Luke," she said doubtfully, shaking her head.
"We can pretend," he emphasized. "You're the Queen of Denial, remember?"
"Yeah," she laughed. "That I am. I just didn't know you encouraged me in that."
He smiled. "Special circumstances. And just until you have a chance to get your thoughts together."
They smiled at each other, nearly shyly, and both stood up awkwardly.
"So…you'll be in tomorrow?" he asked, his hands on his hips.
"Sure," Lorelai replied, distracted. It was still hot enough that Luke wasn't wearing a flannel shirt over his tee. She licked her lips, looking at his right arm where she now knew the tattoo was. She fought the urge to slide up his sleeve so she could run her fingers over it again.
"Lorelai?" He wasn't sure what was causing the spaced-out look on her face.
"Um, I should show you, um, something. Something over here!" She hooked her fingers through his belt loop and quickly pulled him around the side of her house.
"What's over here?" he asked, confused.
"Not Babette!" she said, throwing her weight against him, causing him to land with a muffled thud against the house. Even though he was startled, he wrapped his arms around her at once and she attached her mouth to his, drinking in the warmth she'd thought about all day. She sank into him, pushing her hands under his t-shirt to desperately feel his skin, urging him to take more of her. He eagerly complied. For several steamy minutes they lapsed back into the natural rhythm they'd discovered the night before.
A noise from inside the house suddenly brought them back to their senses and they held each other, panting, as they both fought for control.
Lorelai kissed his mouth, quickly: One, two, three times. Then she gave him little kisses all around his mouth, and finally pushed herself away.
"So, uh, I'm guessing that wouldn't be acceptable diner behavior," she said nervously, folding her arms over her chest.
"Probably not," Luke agreed, tucking his shirt back in. "But I'm not complaining," he added, low, as he leaned past her to pick up his hat.
"OK, OK," Lorelai said, her head bobbing. "Just learning the limits."
They walked back around to the front of the house.
"Just don't worry about it, OK?" Luke urged her. "Anything's going to be fine. We'll make it fine."
"OK," she agreed, ignoring as best she could the doubt in her heart and the lust everywhere else.
"See you for breakfast?"
"See you," she said, watching as he started to leave. "Oh, and, Luke!"
He turned.
She took two steps closer. "Take good care of my panties." She swore she could see him blush in the dark. She watched as he disappeared into the night beyond the mailbox. Reluctantly she turned and headed inside.
"Hey, I'm home!" Lorelai called out as she finally made it inside her house.
"Hi!" Rory called out, as she popped out of her room, already dressed for bed. "Did you see Luke?"
"Yep," Lorelai said as casually as possible, pretending to be fascinated by the mail so that her face was averted from her daughter.
"What sort of advice did he need?"
"Advice?" Lorelai asked, blankly.
"Yeah, he said he needed some advice from you."
"Oh!" She tried to make her brain work. This quick-thinking was her trademark, right? "He, uh, he said that, uh, Jess had spilled something on the curtains—you know, those girly flowery ones—and he was wondering if he should try to get them cleaned or just buy new ones."
Rory eyed her mother skeptically. "He needed to come by at this time of night to ask you about curtains."
So maybe quick-thinking was no longer her thing. "Yeah, I, uh, I guess there's a curtain sale tomorrow, see, so he thought if he was going to have to buy new ones, he'd better make the decision tonight, so he could have time to go shopping tomorrow, but, uh, I told him I'd come by and look at them in the morning, because until I'd actually see the stain, you know, it's hard to judge…So how's Paris? How's Dean? How was dinner?" Lorelai fired off her questions quickly, hoping one would provide a distraction.
"Paris, if possible, is even more tightly-wound before leaving on a vacation than she is during the school year," Rory sighed, mentally agreeing to drop the Luke-stopped-by-to-discuss-curtains subterfuge mainly because she was tired and had no desire to get into another Jess pro-con debate with her mother tonight. "She did, however, have some excellent ideas for the Franklin, and I've got some topics for articles all lined up that I can start working on."
"Good, because you certainly wouldn't want to waste these few weeks before school starts again just lazing around, watching movies or letting your brain atrophy. You need to be working on something," Lorelai mocked.
"Yes, I do," Rory grinned. "Tonight I worked on eating this amazing Italian food with my pretty boyfriend. There's a meatball in the fridge for you, by the way."
"Bribing Mommy. Very good," Lorelai told her approvingly.
"You've taught me well," Rory agreed, as she squeezed past her mother to walk into the living room, intending to pick up some empty bottles and plates to take to the kitchen before bed. She paused, however, sniffing the air around Lorelai again.
"Rory!" Lorelai protested.
"Did you change shampoos or conditioners, or something?" Rory asked, inhaling by her mother's head.
"No!" Lorelai was starting to back up the stairs, trying to get away. "Maybe it's something from the Inn."
"Maybe," Rory said, doubtfully. "It's just so familiar. I should be able to place it."
"Well, it doesn't matter, because I'm heading up right now to shower it off," Lorelai told her firmly. "Good night!"
"'Night," Rory said, shrugging her shoulders, but mentally filing away the scent.
Hours later Lorelai was still trying to convince her brain to let her drift off to sleep. When she first climbed into bed she'd giddily replayed some of the more intense memories she had of the night before, and relived the night from start to finish. That had led to extreme frustration and the inability to close her eyes at all. That in turn had led to thoughts of kissing Luke tonight outside her house. She liked kissing Luke. She liked it a lot. She liked kissing him in Hartford. She liked kissing him in Stars Hollow. Kissing him could be like the best hobby ever.
I will kiss him here, I will kiss him there, I will kiss him on the stairs, her mind sing-songed.
She sighed and smacked her pillow, wishing she could just put it aside for a few hours and go to sleep.
She wondered if Luke was asleep in his tiny bed above the diner, all warm and soft and hard and cuddly, safe in his apartment with the stain-free girly curtains, with his amazing hands and mouth, and those sexy, sexy eyes that absolutely glowed at her with the promise of all of the hot, dirty things he was going to do to her…
…And just what the hell did he mean, she could take all the time she needed?
Lorelai's eyes popped open, her breathing now rapid for another reason. She spun herself over in the bed, smashing her arms into her pillow angrily.
Like she was some immature child, who couldn't be trusted to sort out her feelings, while he was the adult, willing to placidly wait for her? And what was the part about pretending? He wanted to pretend last night hadn't happened? What was that about?
""I know you,'" she muttered mockingly. Like he spends one night with me and that gives him the right to assume he knows how I feel and what I'm going to do. Well, not so fast, mister!
Quickly she replayed their conversation from that evening, adding an extra layer of smugness to Luke's words each time she went over them.
Oh, so sure of himself, isn't he? She sneered. She was now sitting up on the side of the bed, her legs dangling as she angrily dug her fingers into the edge of the mattress. Was it the stupid 'I love you' thing? Was that what this was about?
Well, she'd show him! If he thought he knew Lorelai Gilmore and could predict what she was going to do, she'd prove him wrong. If he really knew her, he'd know there was no predicting what she'd do!
She barely felt the stairs under her feet as she powered down them. She stepped into some flip-flops at the front door - they were actually Rory's but she didn't care. She paused just a moment to lock the door as she went through it, and then she let her anger rocket her towards the center of town.
'You didn't come into the diner today.' Well, here I am now, buddy! She thought as she felt for the key over the door. She fumbled with the key in the dark, finally wrenching the door open and grimacing as the bells jingled. She hadn't thought about the stupid bells. She locked the door behind her and laid the key next to the cash register before she headed for the stairs.
In some far corner of her mind she was grateful that Jess was still visiting Liz in New York, but she was so angry at Luke that she would have happily yelled at him with his nephew having a front-row seat.
She paused in front of the frosted-glass door, trying to catch her breath, feeling her heart trying to jump out of her chest from her anger and exertion.
"Luke!" she yelled, pounding on the door. "Luke!"
He yanked open the door before she could yell again, and stood there staring at her, all warm and soft and hard and cuddly, just as she'd pictured him. His old t-shirt stretched across his chest as he rubbed his arm where the tattoo was. His hair was all mused from bed. "Lorelai?" he mumbled, confused.
She stared back at him. She stared at all of him. She stared at his face, and his eyes, and his hair. She took in his chest, under that old t-shirt, and his legs, and his boxers that were barely concealing what she remembered so well from the night before. She swallowed hard.
"Lorelai?" he tried again, but now his mouth was starting to turn up with that smug smile. "Did you come all the way over here just to see what I sleep in?"
"Did I…" Lorelai couldn't remember why she'd been so dead set on coming over here. She'd been angry about something. She'd wanted to tell him something. She couldn't remember now. She stepped closer to him and pushed up the arm of his shirt, letting her fingers trace the design there before she kissed his shoulder.
He leaned past her for a moment to close the door, keeping his body pressed to hers even after he'd accomplished that task. When she looked up from kissing his shoulder, he caught her lips with his, anchoring her to him with his arms. He tried to remind himself that he'd decided he wasn't going to kiss her again until she'd had time to process all that had happened between them; that he wasn't going to pressure her into a relationship; that he was going to step back and let her make up her own mind.
Or he could start doing that tomorrow.
He tightened his arms around her waist and bent his knees slightly, raising her several inches off the floor when he straightened up again. He never broke the kiss as he moved her over to his tiny, tiny bed.
Sometime later, Lorelai nuzzled her face into the space between Luke's neck and chest, relishing the closeness of him and the utter contentment existing inside her. "That was so good," she moaned, raising herself just enough to make out his features in the pale light from the streetlights. "Why is it so good?"
Luke chuckled, letting his fingers push her curls off of her face, and then letting them trail down her neck to her shoulders. He didn't think he'd ever smiled this much in his life. He knew he'd never felt this happy. "You know why it's this good, Lorelai."
"Because you're some sort of sex god?" she asked, rubbing his chest. "Remind me I'm never going to forgive you for keeping that information from me, by the way."
"No, that's not it," he laughed, "although please feel free to keep thinking that, if you want." He pushed his hand through her hair, then pressed his hand against the back of her head, bringing her face closer so he could give her a kiss. "It's this good because I love you, too."
He felt her stop breathing and stiffen, and instantly he knew he'd said exactly the wrong thing. He'd promised himself he wasn't going to freak her out by going too fast, but here he was, one night into their new dynamic, spilling his guts and scaring her off.
"And, I'm a sex god," he said boldly, flipping her over and pinning her underneath him, starting to kiss under her jaw. "You'd better remember that, or I'll have to keep reminding you."
He felt her relax, and she giggled. "Maybe I like the reminders."
"You are so much work," he pretended to complain, sighing, as he let his mouth glide its way down her neck.
Luke woke up the next morning clutching Lorelai to him in an effort to keep her from falling out of his much-maligned but well-used single bed. Having her pressed to him so tightly was causing him to be aroused to the point that he really had no choice but to wake her up.
She didn't seem to mind. At all.
Eventually he rolled to his back, bringing Lorelai along to lie against his shoulder. "Angel," he rasped out, catching sight of her dark curls massed on his pillow.
"Oh, I'm the angel now?" Lorelai laughed, skeptically, her eyes shut tight against the bright sunlight dancing around the room. "Does that make you the junkie?"
"Yeah," he agreed, already feeling like he wanted to devour her again. "Yeah, I think it does."
Lazily stroking her bare skin, he marveled at his sense of contentment. Who needs a lousy alarm clock, he thought, when you could wake up like this every morning? Wait. Alarm clock…
"Shit!" he yelled. "Lorelai, get up!" He leaped from the bed, nearly bouncing her out to the floor from his sudden movement.
"Hey!" she protested, clinging to the edge of the mattress, glaring at him.
He was throwing on clothes and flinging things he was finding on the floor to her. "Get up!" he demanded again. "We knocked over the bedside table last night, remember? It had the alarm clock on it! And now it's"— he grabbed the clock off he floor—"a quarter after six! It's a miracle Kirk isn't hanging upside down outside that window!"
Lorelai was sitting on the edge of the bed but had made no move to get dressed. She was regarding Luke with angry, suspicious eyes.
He paused a moment in his frantic haste to get ready. "Lorelai, look. I've got to get downstairs and get the diner open. You've got to get out of here before everyone in town knows. You don't want Miss Patty playing town crier, do you?"
"No," she muttered, crankily, and started getting dressed.
Luke tried to avert his eyes, knowing that watching her right now would derail every good intention he had. He was already contemplating how easy it would be to put the 'gone fishing' sign in the window for today. He willed himself to find some strength.
"So how do you propose to get me out of here?" Lorelai asked with a pout.
Luke glanced at her and stopped abruptly. "You can't go out like that," he protested, pointing to her chest. Her thin tank top wasn't hiding anything, and it was broad daylight now. He threw his flannel shirt to her while pulling a different one out of his closet for himself.
"Oh, yeah," she said sarcastically. "Walking home from the diner at six in the morning in your flannel shirt isn't going to tip anybody off that we're having sex!"
"Lorelai!" he threatened, as though somebody might have actually heard her. "Look, I don't have any better idea, do you? We've got to get you home, and you can't walk outside like that!"
"Fine!" she snapped.
"Fine!" he snapped back.
A few minutes later found them hustling down the hall to the back door to the alley.
"Wait until you hear me open the front door," Luke told her quickly. "That should distract everyone, and you'll be able to sneak out this way and head towards home. Just watch out. Most people who are out this time in the morning are on a specific timetable, and they won't have time to notice you if you're not calling attention to yourself, OK?"
"Sure," Lorelai said, sounding pissed. She understood the situation, but she couldn't believe Luke was pushing her out the back door like this. She crossed her arms in his shirt tightly across her chest, trying hard to keep her anger bottled up.
Luke started towards the diner, but suddenly turned and grabbed her arm, swinging her around and kissing her heatedly but swiftly.
"I'm sorry about this," he said, letting her go just as quickly as he'd grabbed her. "Come in later for chocolate chip pancakes. And be careful!" He hurried down the hall.
Slightly mollified, Lorelai waited to go out the door until she heard the early morning crowd giving Luke a hard time about making them wait. No one was passing by the alley, so she quickly went the opposite way, dodging early morning joggers and the Jenson boy delivering papers. She skirted through the back of the church, crossed behind the Smithson's garden, went up the driveway of the huge blue house on Peach, and soon found herself within sight of her own house.
Keeping a wary eye out for Babette, she headed for the porch, snagging the key out of the turtle on the way. She quickly took off Luke's shirt, rolling it into a tight little ball to hide it as best she could, and reflected that she was coming home for the second morning in a row after having lots of hot sex with Luke. Of all the crazy, unbelievable things she'd had happen in her life, this was taking the prize.
Actually, having lots of hot sex with Luke was the prize, but still, unbelievable.
Shaking her head, she started up the stairs.
She heard Rory's door open, and she threw Luke's shirt up the stairs as hard as she could. It landed with a muffled 'thump' somewhere in the upstairs hallway.
"You're up?" She heard Rory's delighted voice, and she steeled herself to turn and face her.
"Couldn't sleep," she lied. "Why, oh why, are you up?"
Rory was fairly dancing with excitement at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at her mother. "Today's the day Mrs. Kim finally gave Lane permission to go to Boston with me. Lane's been planning all summer. She's got directions to every underground record store in the whole city, but we had to promise that she'd be home in time for Bible study this afternoon, so we're leaving super early."
Lorelai groaned involuntarily at Rory's enthusiasm. It seemed to be leaching whatever energy she still had at her disposal right out of her. She clutched the banister tighter.
"But now that you're up, this is even better!" Rory crowed. "You can come with me to Luke's for breakfast before we leave! I was just going to grab some Pop Tarts, but now we can go get pancakes!"
"Rory, honey, sweet child 'o mine, Mommy needs some sleep," she protested.
"Please, Mom? I feel like I've hardly seen you this summer, first with me being in Washington, and now with you being so busy at the Inn. And we've hardly been to Luke's together all summer, because it took you guys so long to make up after the accident. So, please, let's go together this morning, and catch up a little bit. Pleeeeeease?"
Lorelai opened her eyes and saw Rory's pleading face, complete with the irresistible puppy-dog eyes. "Damn," she groaned. "I taught you too well."
"Yay!" Rory bounced on her tiptoes, clapping. "Hurry! Lane and I need to be on the road by eight!"
Pretending to cry, (and feeling so bone-tired weary that it could be the real thing), Lorelai pulled her exhausted body up the stairs to get ready, kicking the wad of flannel safely into her room when she was sure Rory couldn't see.
Thirty minutes later she and Rory stepped into Luke's, where the breakfast rush was in full-swing. In spite of being in the midst of delivering a whole armload of plates to a table, Luke registered their entry, his eyes widening in surprise. Lorelai lifted her chin slightly towards Rory, and Luke nodded nearly imperceptibly in response, showing that he understood.
One of the small, two-seat tables was available in the far corner, and the girls scurried over to it.
Lorelai was trying to listen to Rory's chatter about the music Lane was hoping to score today, and the article she'd started for the Franklin, and how amazing Dean was for managing to get her car running again. She wanted to listen, she really did, but her eyes kept following Luke's movements, and her brain was lost in a sleep-deprived haze of lust.
Luke made his way over to them, his body language showing how uncomfortable he felt. "Whadit'll be?" He rushed out the words.
"Pancakes and sausage," Rory told him decisively, nodding her head emphatically. "I need good, hearty, road trip-worthy food."
"OK," he said, with no desire to question Rory and prolong his time at their table. "You?" he directed at Lorelai.
"Coffee," she mumbled, circling her arms in an attempt to convey how big of a cup she needed.
"Get some pancakes," Rory urged her.
Lorelai partially opened one eye and looked at her bright, cheery daughter. "Coffee," she groaned again.
"Mom's a little cranky," Rory felt the need to explain to Luke. "She didn't get much sleep last night."
Luke choked. Rory attempted to pat him on the back, but he jumped away from her. Lorelai grinned evilly at him. He glared at her and went to get the coffee.
He put down their mugs and filled them. He started to move away when Lorelai reached out and circled her hand around his wrist, keeping him at their table while she gulped down several swallows of the liquid she hoped would keep her functioning.
Luke tried to steel his mind against all of the thoughts being inspired by her touch. Rory was sitting right there, for cryin' out loud!
She put her mug back down and motioned for him to refill it. He did and she picked it back up, batting her eyes at him over the rim. "Thanks. You're the best," she told him, lightly, the same as she would have said any day in the past, but giving him a look that let him know exactly to what she was referring.
"Geez," he muttered, feeling the heat in his cheeks. He hurried off to get Rory's order.
It was when he brought Rory's pancakes that everything went straight to hell.
He leaned in front of Rory to set down her plate, and Lorelai watched as Rory bent forward to inhale the delicious aroma, but got a whiff of Luke along with it.
"Oh, no," Lorelai breathed, watching her daughter's face.
She knew that face well. The first time she'd seen it, Rory had been three-and-three-quarters old, and Lorelai had been reading her "The Cat in the Hat" for the zillionth time, and on that day, Rory suddenly realized that c-a-t spelled cat, and random marks on the page materialized into words, and Rory understood reading. Her little brain had turned the gears and everything fell into place. Over the years, Lorelai had watched Rory go through the same process many times: Isosceles triangles, the theory of evolution, the correct ratio of mascara to eye shadow. And today, it was the solving of the mystery of what had been going on with her mother.
Lorelai stood up forcefully, sending her chair crashing over backwards. Luke jumped at the noise and looked at her balefully, chastising her silently for calling more attention to them.
"Help me!" she spat out at him, rushing to Rory's side and trying to haul her up.
"Is she going to be sick?" he questioned, confused by the look on Rory's face and Lorelai's determination.
"Luke," she said extra quietly, "in about five seconds her mouth is going to open, and trust me, you are not going to want her to say the words that are going to come out in the diner! She knows!" she hissed at him. "Now, help me!"
Luke was still confused but he automatically believed Lorelai He put down the coffee pot on the table and grabbed Rory's other arm. Together they got her across the floor and behind the curtain.
"Storeroom?" Lorelai gasped.
"Upstairs," Luke ordered.
Partway up the stairs Rory started making noises, her eyes wide, looking from one to the other of them.
"You!" she said, shocked, to Lorelai, as they rushed her inside Luke's apartment. "And him!" She jerked her head at Luke. "You! And her! You've been…That's why…The smell! It was him!"
Luke was breathing rapidly, watching his worst nightmare unfold. Lorelai was groaning, pressing her hands over her eyes.
"Rory, it's not…" she started, but just then Rory caught sight of Luke's disheveled bed and the upturned bedside table.
"Oh, my God!" She crossed her arms tightly over her stomach, her face pale with shock. "Oh, my God!"
"Rory, seriously, let me explain…" Lorelai tried again, although she wasn't altogether clear on what she was going to explain.
"You didn't tell me!" Rory said accusingly to Lorelai, as tears threatened her. "How could you not tell me you guys are together?"
"We're not…we're not together!" Lorelai floundered, trying to find the right words to comfort her daughter and not hurt Luke at the same time. In the back of her mind, she already knew that was a lost cause. None of them were going to escape this in one piece. "We were just…We've just been…We were both in Hartford the other night…"
Rory looked even more horrified and now angry, as well. "Are you trying to tell me that you guys just hooked up?" Her eyes were shooting sparks at Lorelai. "You'd better try and clear this up for me, Mom," she said sarcastically.
"Rory." Lorelai took a deep breath. "We don't know what this is exactly, yet. We're still trying to figure it out."
"You're trying to tell me that you jumped into this without any thought of the consequences? To me? To Luke? To you? That's just great, Mom! I told you years ago that you couldn't do this to Luke, of all people!"
Lorelai was still trying to keep her composure and somehow smooth over this deteriorating situation. "Luke and I will figure this out. It's just so new, and we're still trying to decide how to handle this…this…thing!"
"Trying to figure it out? Oh, come on, Mom, you mean to tell me in all these years you've never given this any thought?" she yelled at her mother, in disbelief. "Are you really that oblivious? And you!" She suddenly whirled to face Luke, pointing at him. "Are you going to tell me that you don't know what's going on either, that you're all confused about what you want?"
"No, I know what I want," Luke told her, as calmly as possible. He was traumatized that he was standing in his apartment, having this discussion with Rory, with the evidence of his and Lorelai's indiscretion right in their faces.
"Way to kiss-up and make me look bad," Lorelai groused, under her breath.
"And?" Rory asked him, impatiently, tapping her foot.
"And, it's up to your mother," Luke explained, shrugging.
"Why is it up to her?" Rory snapped. "You don't care?"
"Of course I care! I…Look," Luke sighed, hating that he was going to have to explain this to a not-yet-eighteen-year-old girl, but seeing that there was no other choice. "It seems to me that all the guys your mom has been with have convinced her that she needed to be with them. I don't want this to be that way. I want your mom to decide on her own how she feels about me. If she thinks we should be together, great. If not, I'll get over it. But it's her decision. Not mine. Not yours," he added, giving Rory a look, hoping she couldn't see that the 'I'll get over it' was the biggest lie he ever told.
"Now, just a minute, here!" Lorelai protested.
Luke held Rory's eyes until she gave a little jerk of her chin and looked down at the floor, thoughtfully. "No, Mom, he's right," she said, starting to calm down.
"He is?" Lorelai said, doubtfully.
Rory thought about her father, trying to convince her mother that they belonged together, even though his girlfriend was pregnant. She thought about Max, who'd managed to urge Lorelai to marry him in order to save their relationship. She even thought about Burrito Boy, who'd been able to talk her mother into casual dating.
"Yeah, he's absolutely right," Rory said with conviction. She turned to give Luke an admiring look, but remembered that she was still angry with him, so she tried to turn it into a scowl instead, with limited success. "I'm not a part of this decision."
"That's not true!" Lorelai protested automatically. "It affects you, of course you're part of it!"
"Sure, it'll affect me, and I'd appreciate being kept in the loop," she added, sarcastically, "but it's not my decision." Her voice softened. "This is one time you're on your own, Mom."
A hugely uncomfortable silence filled the room, until Rory cleared her throat.
"Um, I need to get going," she stated, fidgeting. "Lane's going to be waiting on me, and Dad and Sherry are expecting us to be to Boston by lunchtime. I really don't want to go back into the diner, though," she added with a grimace.
"Don't worry. I'll handle it," Luke said gruffly, opening the door for them.
Downstairs he motioned for them to wait while he entered through the curtain back into the busy eating area. Various voices clamored at him instantly.
"Is she OK?" That was Babette's gravelly voice, filled with concern.
"Was she sick? Because sometimes in the morning, when I think about my schedule, and about how many places I need to be, it makes me feel sick, and…"
"Shut up, Kirk!" Luke bellowed.
"Seriously, Luke, we're just worried about the little thing," Miss Patty said kindly.
"She's fine," Luke said curtly, righting Lorelai's chair and snatching up Rory's backpack. "Lorelai's got it covered," he added with a scowl, heading back towards the curtain with a stern look that suitably conveyed the fact that no more conversation on this subject would be coming from him.
"Luke! Orders!" Caesar shouted, dismayed to see his boss leaving the dining room again.
"Be right back!" Luke barked, sweeping aside the curtain. He let it fall back into place as he held out the bag to Rory. He motioned for them to head down the hall to the back door.
Lorelai felt that she was replaying some sort of twisted version of Groundhog Day, as Luke was once again rushing her out of the back door. She caught his eyes right before she stepped over the threshold, and for the first time she saw a nervous waver of trepidation there, hinting to her that maybe his bold declaration of 'I love you too' had caught him just as unaware as her words on their first night together had shocked her. Weirdly, knowing that whatever this thing was they were doing was unnerving him as well made her feel less shaky and more confident that they would figure it out.
"Later?" she questioned him, quietly.
He nodded, staring at her for just a moment longer before he stepped back, letting the door swing shut.
Rory took a step, starting towards Kim's antiques, but Lorelai grabbed her arm.
"We're OK?" she questioned.
Rory looked at her mother, who was practically dancing with nerves beside her, and decided that it would be too cruel to play this out any longer. "I'm not thrilled about how I found out, but yeah, we're OK."
"Oh, Sweets, thank you!" Lorelai flung her arms around Rory, hugging her tightly. "I was going to tell you, I swear! I just didn't know how to tell you. I didn't know what to tell you. I still don't," she added.
Rory caught her mother in a steadfast gaze. "It's just, I really like Luke," she stated.
"I know that!" Lorelai protested, defensively.
"Don't make him wait too long," she added, mildly. "Figure it out soon."
"OK," Lorelai agreed, although her insides were still all jumbled together. She waved as Rory started over to get Lane, watching until she disappeared through the cluttered entrance before she started back to her own home to get ready to go to work.
Once she made it to the Inn, Lorelai sequestered herself inside her office, telling everyone she had monthly reports to enter and couldn't be disturbed. So far, however, all she'd done was stare at the computer screen, filling in different colors on all of the little squares on the Excel spreadsheet. She especially liked the bright yellow/pumpkin orange design on the "Dining room/Tablecloths" column.
There was a sharp knock on her door and Sookie's beaming face was soon seen, pushing in a rolling cart loaded with a coffee cake and a carafe of coffee.
"I watched some old sitcoms last night," she said, "and it appears that this was how they used to do it. Housewives would get together at the neighbor's house, and they'd eat coffee cake, and drink coffee, and dish the dirt! So I thought, well, it'd work for us, too!"
Lorelai licked her lips, looking at the coffee cake oozing with caramel and what appeared to be slivers of apple. The coffee smelled heavenly. She realized for the first time that during all of the uproar at the diner, she'd never had breakfast or coffee.
"Dish, baby!" she eagerly agreed, holding up a plate for a piece of the fragrant delicacy.
Sookie quickly tried to serve the coffee cake, but in her haste, Lorelai's piece did a quick flip and ended up wrong-side down in front of her. Sookie wailed in protest and tried to corral it back onto a plate.
"It's OK, Sook. Five-second rule!" Lorelai reminded her, grabbing the plate and settling back in her chair before Sookie could take it from her.
Sookie served herself, but wrung her fingers nervously instead of diving into her culinary creation like Lorelai was doing.
Lorelai paused, licking some caramel from her finger, and noticed how ill-at-ease Sookie seemed. "What's wrong, Sweetie?" she asked, concerned. It wasn't often that Sookie wasn't a bubbly mass of happy.
"I know!" Sookie blurted out, throwing her arms straight up over her head. She brought them back down and involuntarily looked around the room for eavesdroppers before lowering her voice and bending closer to Lorelai. "I know it was Luke."
Lorelai froze, her mouth open in shock. She groaned, and dropped her head down onto her desk. "Did Rory call you?" she asked, muffled.
"No, of course not!" Sookie said. "Oh! Rory knows?"
"She figured it out this morning," Lorelai sighed, raising her head slightly to look at Sookie nervously. "It wasn't good."
Sookie cocked her head and shot an incredulous look at Lorelai. "I find that hard to believe. I mean, look at the man! He's gorgeous! So, was he like, too quick on the draw? I mean, I can understand that, since he's waited on you forever, but I'd think that once that's out of the way, he'd probably calm down enough to…"
"No!" Lorelai shouted, finally catching up with Sookie's rambling thoughts. "I don't mean he…I'm talking about Rory finding out. That wasn't good. She was upset that I hadn't told her."
"Oh!" Sookie nodded. "But Luke was good?"
Lorelai squeezed her eyes shut. "Not going there." Her mouth quivered in a smile she tried to squelch. "But…yes."
"I knew it!" Sookie crowed, pumping her fist in the air.
"How did you figure it out?" Lorelai asked.
"I was teasing Luke about being in Hartford with you," Sookie told her, serving Lorelai another piece of coffee cake. "I saw his face and I realized it was true."
"Oh, man," Lorelai sighed. She shook her head, thinking about how freaked out Luke must be, if he realized that Sookie had caught on.
"So what happens now?" Sookie questioned eagerly.
Lorelai pushed back in her chair, clasping her hands in front of her as she surveyed the walls in her small office. She rested her gaze on a small framed picture of her, Rory, Sookie and Mia, taken right before Mia had left. "I don't know," she said, slowly.
"Really?" Sookie prodded.
Lorelai sighed, and brought her focus back to Sookie. "You know, Sook, I'm not stupid."
"Of course not!" Sookie agreed.
"And I'm not oblivious, either. Of course I've seen it. Of course I've known. I've known that Luke has had a thing for me for a long time. How could I not have known?"
"I've wondered that, myself," Sookie agreed.
"For years I've told myself that it was best to ignore it, to pretend it wasn't there, because I was protecting Luke. I told myself that I didn't want to hurt him. He meant too much to me - to me and to Rory - for me to risk exposing him to the ongoing disaster zone that is my dating life. Far better to ignore him and keep him safe."
"I doubt that he would feel that way," Sookie protested, under her breath.
"But the truth is," Lorelai began nervously, tracing the handle on her coffee cup, "the truth is that I'm the one who's scared about getting hurt. If I let myself try this thing with him, and then he decides it's not what he wants…" She broke off, taking a deep breath. "I'm not sure I'd be able to get over it." She almost whispered the words, forcing them out. "If Luke would hurt me like that, Sookie, I don't know that I could get over it."
Sookie scoffed at her. "He's been crazy about you for years, Lorelai! The man is not going to break your heart!"
"But that's just what I'm talking about!" Lorelai protested. "This whole 'He's been into you for years' thing! He's got this idea of us all built up in his head. What happens when he gets the real me and decides I don't come close to what he expected? He's going to be disappointed and disillusioned, and then he's going to dump me, and to continue with the 'd' words, I'm going to be devastated! I've got a broken heart and a kid who'll hate me, not to mention a rickety house with no one to help me make repairs, and no coffee, and…and…no Luke!" she wailed.
Sookie blinked several times, taking in just how invested Lorelai already was in this fledgling relationship.
"Well, first," she started, slowly, "I doubt that there's anything about you he doesn't already know. Over the years he's seen you at your worst, Lorelai. I don't think there's anything left that would shock him out of his feelings for you. He's accepted your eating habits, he knows about your parents, he's seen firsthand the stuff with Christopher and Max. Unless you've managed to hide your secret life as a serial killer from all of us, I doubt that there's anything in your life that he doesn't already know. And he's still crazy about you, right?"
"Maybe," Lorelai sighed.
"No maybe," Sookie said firmly. "We know he is. Frankly, you being scared about getting hurt sounds just like everyone else ready to take the plunge into a relationship. Do you not remember holding my hand when I was terrified over Jackson? Falling in love is always a leap of faith. You've always got to pray that when you're ready to throw your heart to a guy, that he's there ready to catch it. And Luke might have been a track star, but he was darn good at baseball, too. He'll catch your heart, Lorelai, if you let him. He won't drop it."
Lorelai had to smile at that. "But after he catches it, doesn't he have to throw it to home plate or something?"
Sookie giggled. "Honey, if you throw him your heart, trust me, he's never going to let it go."
"OK, the baseball analogy is starting to sound like a bad episode of CSI."
Sookie studied Lorelai's face. "It seems to me that you're already in love with him." Lorelai started to protest, but Sookie cut her off. "Maybe you don't want to say that yet. Maybe you don't even realize that yet, but I think it's true. And if that's already the way you feel, what difference does it make? I mean, say you decide to protect yourself and stop this thing, and keep away from him. Would it really make you feel any better? If you already feel so strongly about him, wouldn't you hurt just as much by cutting it off now? What difference would it make if you have the hurt now or in the future? And I still don't think that there will be any hurt, if you just give him a chance."
"Oh, Sook, I just don't know," Lorelai sighed, pressing her hands over her eyes. "There's just so much at stake, here!"
"Look at it this way. Do you really want to push this off for, what, another couple of years? Do you want to look away and pretend this isn't the way you feel? Do you want to ignore Luke until he gives up waiting for you and finds someone else? Do you want to wait until it's too late?"
"No," Lorelai agreed fervently, remembering clearly the drunken tears stinging her eyes at just the thought of Luke finding someone else.
"Well, then, I think you've got to go for it." Sookie shrugged as she popped another chunk of coffee cake into her mouth. "What other choice do you have?"
Lorelai pressed her hands over the nervous butterflies in her tummy. She noted that they no longer made her feel like she ready to lose her footing on the top of the stairs, tumbling down in a panic and possibly shattering her leg at the bottom. Now they were more like the anticipation felt in the climb up the first steep hill of a roller coaster, knowing the thrill that was awaiting you at the top. The drop might take your breath away, and you'd scream, but at the end the grin wouldn't leave your face and you would dash to the end of the line to ride it again.
She looked up and grinned at Sookie.
"So, is the serious part of the conversation over?" Sookie asked.
Lorelai sagged back in her chair in relief. "Yeah, I think so. Thanks, Sook."
"Good." Sookie waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Because now you owe me all the dirty parts!"
Lorelai snorted. "No way!"
"Oh, yes!" Sookie protested. "I've waited on this for years. You owe me something juicy. Somehow I've always pictured you two on a table," she added, tilting her head a bit as she regarded Lorelai.
Lorelai pulled up short. "You've thought about us like that?" she queried, taken aback.
"Well, not exactly…but I am now," Sookie admitted, shutting her eyes tight. "I guess I always thought he'd get fed up with you in the diner someday and just throw you down on a table. Probably that one right by the counter, you know…"
"Stop! Please, stop," Lorelai begged, but she was giggling. Truthfully, she'd had that fantasy more than once, herself. "Tell you what," she offered. "Delete the table, and insert an elevator."
"Ooh!" Sookie's eyes widened. "Go on!"
Lorelai laughed, and proceeded to tell Sookie all the details about the early part of the evening, as she added another slice of gooey cake to her plate.
Shortly before lunchtime, Lorelai's office phone rang. She picked it up, still focusing on the spreadsheet in front of her.
"This is Lorelai."
"Lorelai, it's your mother."
For once she managed not to groan. "Hi, Mom. I don't have to fill another seat for you tonight, do I?"
"No, I was just calling to make sure you got home without any mishaps the other night. I should have called you yesterday, but we had brunch with the Lexby's - and truthfully I was feeling a little under the weather…"
Lorelai interrupted her, feeling a little smugness about her mother's admittance that she had over- indulged as well. "Sure, I made it home in one piece," she assured her, figuring that Emily didn't need a timetable on when her return took place.
"I'm…glad to hear that."
Lorelai waited, but Emily didn't add anything else. She knew there had to be another reason for the call. "So, how much did the songbirds benefit?"
"Well, the Hyatt agreed to halve our bill, so we cleared more than I hoped we would."
Again the conversation halted.
"Well…that's good," Lorelai ventured, waiting.
"Rory has brought friends to Friday night dinner from time to time," Emily said, plunging in abruptly.
"Yes, she has," Lorelai agreed.
"You could, too, if you wanted."
Lorelai tilted her head in confusion. "Do you want me to bring Sookie to dinner?"
"No! No, I…I thought…I know you'll blow up at this, and accuse me of interfering in your life, but just hear me out, Lorelai. It appears that you and …Luke…are good friends." It sounded like it had been a struggle for her to call him by his name. "And I'm not implying that there's anything but friendship between the two of you. But you can't deny that this man plays a huge role in your life, and in Rory's life, as well. And I just think it might be prudent if your father and I got to know him better."
Lorelai took a breath, and tried to get a handle on her feelings. She wasn't upset. She was calm. She was actually smiling a little.
"Luke seems to be able to - balance you, somehow," Emily continued, trying her best to explain. "I thought that maybe it would be advantageous for your father and I to observe how he manages to do that."
Nothing was said for several moments while Lorelai waited for the insultingly-phrased compliments her mother would surely use to berate Luke. Emily waited for her daughter to jump down her throat, condescendingly telling her she didn't know anything about her life and warning her to back off. Instead, neither woman said anything.
Lorelai cleared her throat. "Um, Luke normally works until he closes the diner on Fridays, but I guess I could ask him if he could come with us sometime." She imagined what it would feel like, to have Luke's solid strength sitting beside her on the couch as they sipped before-dinner drinks, to have his hand grasp hers under the dining room table to stop her before she could explode in anger at her parents. The little smile played on her lips again.
"Well, that - that would be fine," Emily replied, flustered. She never expected Lorelai to agree with her.
This was so far removed from their normal conversation that Lorelai wasn't sure how to continue. "So, uh, thanks. Thanks for the invitation."
"Of course," Emily said. She took a breath and tried to find her way back. "If he agrees to come, don't forget to call and tell me. Don't just show up with an extra person and expect me to stretch our meal to include him. It's just good manners to inform the hostess how many places are needed at the table, Lorelai!"
"I'll let you know, Mom," Lorelai groused, rolling her eyes. "I'm not completely without social graces!"
Both women felt better after returning to their customary needling.
After Lorelai put down the phone, she placed a pen over her fingers, watching as she was able to keep it balanced there.
"Balance," she murmured, approvingly. And she swore right then that her mother would never know how one word from her had carried so much weight.
Late in the afternoon the bells jingled and Luke looked up, surprised to see Rory making her way shyly towards the counter.
"Hey, Rory," he said, warily. "How was Boston?"
"It was a good trip," she said, settling onto a stool. "Lane bought as many CDs as she could comfortably hide on her body. The rest are in my bookbag until we can smuggle them past Mrs. Kim."
"You want coffee?"
"Too hot," she said, shaking her head regretfully. "How about iced tea?"
"Sure," he agreed, turning to get it. "You want lemon in it?"
"Will that negate the lecture on how I need to eat more fruit?"
"No," Luke said, smiling for the first time, relaxing a bit.
"Then skip it," she decided.
Luke sat the tall glass in front of her and she proceeded to rip open five sugar packets, stirring them into the tea with the long spoon. He watched as she picked up one more packet, worrying it back and forth between her fingers as she struggled with whatever else she wanted to say.
"Did you see your dad?" he asked, an edge to his voice. He hated bringing up that slimy weasel; he hated how callously Christopher treated his girls. But he also hated seeing Rory uneasy, so he tried his best to make conversation. He'd do anything for Rory.
She took a sip of iced tea as she nodded. "It was actually a pretty good visit," she said, a little tinge of amazement in her voice. "I think it helped having Lane there as a buffer. Sherry was able to gush over her, too." Rory shook her head a little. "Mom won't believe it, but pregnancy apparently has made Sherry even perkier."
Rory's nervousness caused her bend the sugar packet even more strenuously and it tore apart, scattering the sugar over the counter.
"Sorry!" she yelped, trying to sweep the crystals up with her hands.
"It's OK," Luke reassured her, grabbing his towel and wiping up the mess.
"Luke," she said, reaching out to still his hand. He stopped, looking at her curiously, while she took a deep breath and tried to collect her thoughts. "About this morning…" she started.
"Rory, it's fine," he said, shaking his head, wanting desperately to stop her.
"No, I need - I need to explain," she stuttered, and then gave a deep sigh. "Do you know Mrs. Jenkins?" she asked, seemingly changing the subject abruptly.
"Evelyn Jenkins? Principal over at the elementary school?" At Rory's nod, he continued. "Sure. Her husband Ted was a really good friend of my Dad's. They'd get together and play poker at least once a month."
Rory gave a little groan at that, and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes.
"Rory?" Luke asked again.
"Yes, that's her," Rory said, trying to start her story again. "When I was in fourth grade, she was my teacher. She was really, really nice."
"Yeah, she is," Luke said, a soft smile turning his lips up faintly, as he remembered the vegetable lasagna she brought to them the week after his mother died. It was the only thing he could stomach that whole week. He could still see the pattern on the casserole dish. He suddenly realized that was still the recipe he used when he made it.
"Well," Rory sighed, "in fourth grade we all had journals to write in. Every morning when we'd come into the room, Mrs. Jenkins would have a topic on the board for us to write about. Now I realize it was just for us to have something to do first thing in the morning, but I took it very seriously."
"Of course you did," Luke said, fondly.
"One morning we were supposed to write about our ideal family," Rory continued. "It could be anything. We could live with the Jetson's, or with dinosaurs, or be a family of plants in the garden. We were supposed to stretch our imaginations and write anything we wanted."
"OK," Luke said, wondering what Rory could write that would be any better than the life she had growing up with Lorelai as her mother.
"So I wrote. I wrote, and wrote, and wrote."
"OK," Luke said again, as she seemed to be waiting for a response.
"At recess, Mrs. Jenkins called me up to her desk. After all the other kids were out of the room, she pulled out my journal. She told me what a good job I did with my writing. She praised my sentence structure and admired how I would always use our vocabulary words in my entries. She showed me that she had given me an A+ on it. Then she took out an Exacto knife and very carefully cut those pages out of my journal. She folded them up, and put them into an envelope, which she sealed up. She gave it to me, and explained that since I wrote about real people, it might be something I'd like to keep as private thoughts."
Rory had been rubbing her fingers up and down the smooth surface of the counter as she talked, avoiding looking at Luke's face for more than an instant at a time. She smiled, lost in her memory. "She was so kind. She never made me feel like I had written something I shouldn't. She just made me feel like my words were too precious to be looked at by anyone but me. It didn't dawn on me for a long time how embarrassing those words could have been if someone else had stumbled on them." She looked up at Luke, suddenly thoughtful. "But on some level, I must have known, because I never showed Mom. I came home and hid that envelope. It was probably the only time I never showed Mom an assignment."
"What did you write?" Luke asked, his curiosity piqued.
"Well," Rory sighed again, "I wrote that I had the perfect life with my mother, living here in Stars Hollow."
Luke gave a satisfied smile, but it fell off his face as Rory continued.
"The only thing that could make it better was if our special friend Luke Danes would live with us all the time, instead of just coming over sometimes."
"What?" Luke asked in disbelief.
"Yep," Rory said, pressing her hands over her eyes again. "I said having you as part of our family would make it complete since you made my mother jump up and down and squeal when you would come over to help us."
Luke groaned a little, suddenly recalling how Mrs. Jenkins always seemed to eye him appraisingly anytime she'd see him with Lorelai. It all made sense now.
"All I was thinking when I wrote it was how great it would be if you could make me pancakes every morning, and keep our porch put together, and make Mom worry less about how she was going to keep the household repairs manageable. I didn't realize at the time how it sounded," Rory said, trying to defend her position.
"Sure," Luke muttered.
"I just wanted you to know that the idea of you and Mom being together isn't something new for me," she rushed on. "I don't want you to think that I freaked out this morning because I didn't like you or something. I've been pretty much waiting for this to happen for a long, long time. And the idea of you and Mom together is good."
"Really?" Luke asked, suddenly hopeful, and she met his gaze steadily, nodding in confirmation.
"Yeah." She sighed again. "I freaked because I couldn't believe I didn't see it coming. Mom and I are so close, you know? I always figured that when it happened, I'd know, just because I know Mom so well. And then it happened and I was totally clueless. Somehow I'd missed the signs. It wasn't until I smelled Mom's perfume on you this morning that it all clicked together."
She looked up at him then, with the big, sad eyes he remembered from those rare days when she'd miss a spelling word. "I just always thought I'd know."
Luke's hands automatically reached for a doughnut to put in front of her, anything to take away that look.
"It's not like we started this traditionally," he said, trying to make Rory feel better. "It's like we jumped into the middle, instead of starting at the beginning."
Rory grinned before taking a huge bite of the doughnut. "You guys have had six years of beginning. I say you deserve to jump to the middle if you want."
"Yeah?" Luke questioned, smiling shyly at the young woman wolfing down the processed sugar product in front of him.
She nodded enthusiastically, picking up some fallen sprinkles with her finger. "Oh, yeah. But I do agree, it's got to be Mom's decision." She nodded at Luke, and this time let her admiration of him show. "You're pretty smart."
Luke accepted her praise with a little smirk while he focused on cleaning up the sugar spill. Of course it was all Lorelai's decision, but having Rory in the 'pro' column would surely be a big plus.
In relief he grabbed another doughnut for her.
The bells jingled. Luke snapped his head up and saw Lorelai making her way inside the diner, clutching a shopping bag tightly. She took two steps towards the counter before pausing to reconsider. She briefly started for the table by the counter, but she suddenly remembered Sookie's fantasy concerning that one and stopped. Sucking in a breath, she turned on her heel and made her way to the table in front of the window instead.
Luke's nerves, which had been on high alert since the Rory meltdown at breakfast, tightened themselves up even further. This didn't look good. He grasped the coffee pot firmly and walked over to Lorelai, not even realizing he'd neglected to grab a mug to pour the coffee into.
"Hey," he mumbled.
Her eyes darted nervously up at him, then around the diner and outside the window, finally resting on the bag she was clutching. "Can you…?" she asked, jerking her chin at the table.
Luke looked around the diner. Tom sat at the counter, eating a quick burger before giving the Tomlinson's on Peach the bad news about the estimate on their foundation. Two high school kids sat staring into each others eyes as they shared a plate of chili fries at a table. The rest of the diner was empty. "Sure, for a little bit," he agreed, sitting down next to her.
Before the silence could lengthen too much, Lorelai thrust the shopping bag at Luke. "Here. I bought you something."
Luke took the bag warily. He looked inside and pulled out a cellophane package of cotton candy, its pastel bands of pink and blue mangled together from the nervous clutching it had received in Lorelai's arms.
"You bought me this crap?" he asked, disgust evident in his voice. He looked at her in confusion.
Lorelai felt like her whole insides were practically vibrating from her tightly-wound nerves. "The other night," she reminded him. "You said I could tempt you -"
"Right, right," Luke said quickly, trying to stop her from saying too much.
Lorelai blew out a breath, trying to calm herself and get out the words she needed to say. "See, I thought this would be cute. Instead of actually saying all the stuff, I thought I could just give you this, and it'd be a thing, and you'd laugh, but now I'm thinkin' maybe it's not working the way I pictured," she rambled, wincing at his grumpy face.
Luke leaned a little closer to her, his jaw rigid. "This is one time I need the words, Lorelai. I need you to tell me exactly whatever the hell you're trying to tell me. I need you to be perfectly clear with me. Whatever you have to say, say it!" he hissed, trying to keep his voice down.
"It's just, you know, I had to go clear to the Wal-Mart in Litchfield to get this, because not everyone carries this spun-sugar goodness -"
"Lorelai!" he thundered, instantly regretting his outburst as all three people in the diner stopped and turned to stare at him. Luckily they all assumed Lorelai was teasing him as usual, and went back to their own concerns. "Just…tell me," he begged her, quietly.
"I…I want you as my friend, Luke," she said gently, and he felt his heart drop. "I can't imagine my life without you as my friend. So we have to stay friends, all right?" She let the index finger on her right hand stretch out and lightly rub against his hand lying on the table.
"Sure. We'll always be friends," Luke managed to mumble, trying not to let her see how much he was dying inside. Her gentle touch was making it even worse.
She cleared her throat, bobbing her head. "And then, you mentioned that 'friends with benefits' thing? I'm thinking that would be a good idea, too, you know. If you wanted."
Luke stopped breathing. "Oh?" he questioned, trying to look her in the eyes.
"Yeah," she confirmed, seriously. "I mean, now that I know what's going on under that flannel, I can't imagine not being able to…to touch you…and, and…" She trailed off as Luke grasped her hand firmly.
"Touching is good," he agreed, quietly, and Lorelai shut her eyes briefly at the sexy tone wrapped around his words.
Her eyes sprang back open and Luke looked into the darkness of them, trying to gauge the depth of what all she was trying to tell him. "And I think we should date, even though we both hate dating and we're not too good at it, I think we should do it."
"Dirty," he said, an automatic reflex, making her grin.
Feeling a little more confident, Lorelai continued. "I want a relationship with you, Luke. I'd like that whole package thing, you know? And I don't want to scare you here, because I know we're just starting out, but at the same time we know each other so well already, it feels like we've been together forever. So don't freak out, and I'm not sayin' this is gonna happen tomorrow, but I want a life with you. Eventually, maybe we could even find a use for that chuppah that's sitting in my yard…" Her voice shorted out uncertainly while he stared at her, unmoving and unblinking.
"Or not," she muttered, desperately wishing she could inhale the last few words back inside herself.
Suddenly Luke ripped open the bag of cotton candy, hooked his fingers around a hunk of it, and stuffed it in his mouth, nearly gagging as the cloying sweetness gritted against his teeth.
"Oh, don't!" Lorelai cried, clutching at his hand. "You don't have to do that! It was just a joke!"
Luke swallowed manfully, trying to shake the disgusted look off of his face. "That was me trying to tell you 'yes,'" he said, gruffly. "I thought it'd be cute, I thought it'd be a thing -"
Lorelai placed her hand against his face, her eyes shining, that glorious smile breaking out. "You're cute enough already," she told him lovingly.
His breath stopped while he looked at her, not able to believe this was happening. He reached for her, needing desperately to touch her, to confirm she was real and that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
"Luke," she cautioned, as he pulled her face to his, "window!"
"Don't care," he muttered, and his mouth settled blissfully over hers.
Moments passed. Long, long moments. The few diners inside were riveted to the display. Outside, Kirk paused to gape at them through the window. Taylor stopped to berate Kirk about blocking the sidewalk, but lost his words as he became aware of what was going on inside the diner. Soon a small crowd had gathered.
A sudden whoop from outside broke Lorelai and Luke apart and they watched as Gypsy tore away, racing down the block to Miss Patty's. Reverend Skinner grinned at them and gave them thumbs up, and then gently persuaded everyone to clear out, but not before Taylor shook his head at them in disgust.
"So," Lorelai began, resting her head against Luke, "I hope you didn't want to keep this a secret."
Luke shook his head. "Nothin' to hide," he assured her, running his hand through her curls.
Lorelai suddenly giggled. "Jess is going to have a lot to adjust to when he gets back."
Luke groaned, anticipating the grief he was going to receive at his nephew's hands. And the lewd comments from Babette and Miss Patty. And the self-righteous lectures from Taylor. He relaxed as he felt Lorelai's hand caressing his back and he decided he didn't care about anything else.
"We'll figure it all out," he said softly, kissing her temple.
"Yeah, we will," she agreed, confidently.
The door opened as a group of tourists stumbled inside, thankful to be out of the heat and away from the crazy townsfolk outside, who all seemed to be running distractedly up and down the streets.
Lorelai rose up, regretfully, knowing that Luke needed to get to work. "You'll come by later?" she asked hopefully.
"Couldn't keep me away," he said with conviction, as he stood, too. He turned to give her a kiss goodbye. One kiss turned into four. He put his hands firmly on her shoulders and took a step away. "Go," he ordered her, not sure that he had the self-control to stop if she didn't help him.
She gave him a saucy grin, knowing what he was thinking, and gathered her stuff to go.
"Take this, too," Luke added, shoving the cotton candy in her arms. "I hate to think of you and Rory eating this crap, but I know it's inevitable."
"I made you eat cotton candy," Lorelai bragged, waggling her eyebrows. "I wonder, Mr. Danes, whatever else I could tempt you to do?" she drawled in her southern belle voice.
Luke put his hands on his hips and tried to glare, but his face betrayed him with a goofy grin instead. "Just go!" he laughed, giving her a playful shove towards the door.
He watched her leave, shaking his head as she paused in front of the window and pulled out a strand of the cotton candy, grinning at him as she licked it off of her fingers. 'Go!' he mouthed at her, pointing down the street. She laughed, waving as she walked over to the Jeep.
"You're going to have your hands full with that one," Tom commented to him mildly, when he stepped back behind the counter.
"Oh, yeah, I know," Luke chuckled, while he washed his hands in preparation to waiting on his new customers. He didn't take offense at Tom's comment, since it was perfectly true. He knew Tom wasn't trying to give him a hard time but was just stating a fact. He was actually thrilled that his hands were going to be full. His hands, his heart, and hopefully soon a home, as well. All full to bursting.
He reached automatically for a glass of water to rinse out the sweetness that was still present in his mouth from the sugar, but he paused and reconsidered, and soon picked up the order pad and went over to the table of tourists.
He hoped that sweetness would stay in his life forever.
THE END