2. Letters
May, 3, 1998
They were just finishing the meal when a swarm of post owls came through the high windows. Some flew to different people around, but the majority flew towards Harry, covering the table completely, as well as a large section of the floor nearby.
Harry tried to take the mail from the closest owl, but Hermione slapped his hand away. "Don't touch it!"
"Why?"
"It may be a trap. Some death-eaters escaped and they might be seeking revenge. Then, there may also be those who would like to trap you into marriage contracts. I suggest we let Professor Flitwick check your mail before you touch any of it."
Harry knew better than to argue with Hermione. She waved her wand, collecting all his mail into a large pile on the table. She then enclosed it in a protective shield. "Don't touch any of it," she told Harry before stepping to the head table, to talk with the teachers.
She returned a moment later with Professor Flitwick following her. The diminutive professor waved his wand in some complicated motions, making about half the letters in the pile fly out of it. "The rest should be quite safe," he noted, "yet it's better if you let one of the house elves open them and read them for you, just to be safer. Don't answer any of the letters without letting Miss Granger check it for any verbal and judicial traps. Have a fine day, Mr. Potter."
He enclosed the removed letters in another shield and floated them out of the great hall.
Hermione conjured a large folder into which she put the remaining letters. The table didn't look appetizing after so many owls visited it. Harry sighed. "Let's find a quiet place to check this out," he suggested.
They ended up in an empty class near the Gryffindor tower. Hermione decided to sort the letters first. There were some official ones: from the Ministry, from Gringotts and from some representatives of foreign countries. Then there were those from known reporters. One was written with the infamous green ink used by Rita Skeeter. The rest, which was most of the pile, was from individuals. Hermione considered them the riskiest.
They started with the official letters. The ministry informed Harry that he was now the recipient of "Order of Merlin, First Class" which also came with a large sum of money. He would receive another letter with the details of the official ceremony once things would settle down.
Harry was somewhat apprehensive about the Gringotts letter, having broken into that bank only two days before. The goblins knew very well who the burglars were, and the little he remembered from his History of Magic about the goblins didn't give him reason for much hope. Hermione started reading the letter and a wide grin appeared on her face.
"What is it?" Harry asked, quite intrigued.
"Let me read it to you.
Dear Lord Potter,
It is our greatest pleasure to tell you that you have recently got the ownership of two more vaults, both quite full, by right of conquest.
The largest one used to belong to one Tom Marvollo Riddle. It contains several million galleons along with many precious artifacts. Many of these artifacts include some very dark magic and we recommend that you destroy that, retaining only their basic vessel without the magical properties. We'll be happy to supply this service at reduced fee, if you so require.
The other vault belonged to one Peter Pettigrew. It contains no artifacts of value, and only about half a million galleons in cash, but it holds a large depository of documents, most signed by "The Marauders".
We are also sorry to inform you that we had to charge you a fee of one hundred galleons for breaking into a vault that didn't belong to you. Considering the circumstances of the break and the significance of the artifact you were seeking, we have decided that this token penalty should be enough to show our displeasure with the act.
Due to the recent changes in your holdings as well as the changes in the economy, we recommend that you contact your account manager soon. This letter can be used as portkey for that matter. Just tap the Gringotts coat-of-arms at the top of this letter with your wand and say 'Gringotts' and you'll be ported to your account manager's office.
May your enemies perish and your gold multiply,"
She put the letter down. "I can't read the signature."
"Wow! They charged me one hundred galleons for a damage several orders of magnitude larger. I can't believe it!"
Hermione smiled at him. "You are probably one of their largest clients. They can't risk offending you."
"One of the largest? I own almost nothing! How can that be?"
"Harry, didn't you notice that they addressed you as 'Lord Potter'? This means you control at least one seat on the wizengamot, probably more. All the members there are from old and very rich families. You should have known that."
Harry smiled sheepishly. "Well, I've been a bit busy the last seven years, you know."
Hermione slapped his arm playfully. "So, now it's time to catch up."
There were two more letters from Gringotts. "This one is to inform you of the reading of Severus Snape's will three weeks from now. It seems you are mentioned in it."
Harry shook his head in disbelief, yet considering what he'd seen in Snape's memories, maybe this should not have surprised him, he thought.
Hermione took the other, noticing for the first time that it was actually addressed to her. "Oh, I'm also invited to the will reading. I wonder why."
"Probably just to keep me company," Harry commented with a smirk.
"It could also be the other way round, don't you think so?" Hermione replied with her own smirk.
"We can then check my account as well," Harry noted.
"We? Why should I take any part in managing your accounts?"
Harry smiled at her. "You know I always need your advices. How will I do without them?"
It only took a moment for Hermione to think it over. "Oh, well. I believe I can manage..."
They now turned their attention to the reporters. It looked like each and every reporter in magical Britain was asking for an exclusive interview, some also offering to pay for the privilege. Hermione scanned them one by one, not even bothering to say a word, putting them aside with a disgusted look. She next took Rita's letter.
"Interesting..." she mumbled.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"She offers to become your press officer, as she can no longer work as a reporter due to my 'little intervention'. I think she may be quite good at such a job."
"What should I tell her then?"
"Meet her and let her tell you what she has in mind first. Then you could decide what to do next."
Harry took Rita's letter and set it aside, to be answered later.
This only left them the largest pile of letters.
Hermione sorted them into three groups: from people they knew, even if just slightly; from wizards; from witches. The last was by far the largest.
The first group contained letters from Greengrass, Abbot and several others. As Hermione started reading, she became furious. "These people treat their daughters as if they were goods for sale. They are offering their daughters to you in contract marriages. I'm sure they didn't even ask their daughters of their opinions. I'm sure Hanna would like to marry Neville, if at all, even if she's friendly with you."
She checked the rest of that pile. "They are all practically the same. Only differing in the names, the dowry and the bride price. What do you want to do with them?"
"I have no intentions to marry right now, even though I do plan to eventually marry and have a family. Just put them aside."
The letters from wizards came next. Some were added to the growing pile of marriage contracts, while the others made Hermione laugh and made Harry turn red with embarrassment and anger. "I've never shown any interest in homosexual relations. Why would they even offer?"
"Well, you were Dumbledore's protégé, weren't you?"
"So?..."
"He was gay, you know."
"Gay?"
Hermione could hardly hold her laugh. "He was a fag, a homosexual. Didn't you notice?"
Harry turned even redder. "It was the last thing on my mind. Why should I even care?"
"Well, some find it... interesting," she replied.
A few of the other letters were even more embarrassing. Witches were offering to have sex with Harry, trying to emphasize their attractive assets, many adding very revealing photos. "This is really disgusting!" Hermione said, throwing one such photo on the table. Harry looked at it. He didn't find it disgusting at all. He found it quite... arousing, really, but he didn't want to enrage his friend, so he said nothing. He just pocketed the photo along with some others. These could make even a boring evening into an entertaining one.
"Oh, no!" he heard Hermione gasping. Checking the letter she was holding he saw a photo of a naked woman. It could have been interesting, if only that lady had been at least forty years younger and about a quarter her current weight. Even Harry found it disgusting.
"What shall we do with these?" Hermione asked in a desperate tone.
"I'll keep all those younger than... thirty. The rest – well, I really don't think I should even answer."
Hermione seemed eager to get rid of all of them, yet she arranged them in two stacks. Once finished, she put all the letters into a folder with several compartments, keeping them sorted.
"Why do you put even the ones we have discarded in there?" Harry asked.
"None of us is knowledgeable in wizarding etiquette. You may have to act on some or all of these to prevent making yourself some new enemies. We'd rather be safe than sorry."
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