II.

5 years ago

Dear Henry,

when you read this letter, i will be already on my way from here. Destination = unknown where, in any event, just far. I want to you know I didn´t leave you and I promise you that we´ll see each other soon. Emma promised me she will send you to me during holidays when I find some safe place when I could live in peace.

I´m sure you know why I had to leave Storybrooke and I never want to talk about this again. I know you will understand me because you always did more than anyone. You have to know that nothing is your fault and you always will with me, no matter where I will. When I will calm down enough and take away Robin Hood from my life, I will return. Althrough, I doubt it will be easy for me as it was for him. Please don´t be angry to me.

Always with Love
Mom

She wrote it in a hurry but she had to be gone and she scared someone could come here for check her and Regina really doesn´t want to because she scared they can convince her to stay. She didn´t hope Robin could show here and talk to her. She couldn´t. Regina just hate him at the moment and she needed to get rid of her rage for Emma and Robin and all of them. She can´t be evil again, for her and her son. She couldn´t let that happen.

The fact, she would wake up, go out and see them together every day, it was just devastating for her. So Regina took her laptop and started find another place to live for her. She just wanted to be far so she decided for Europe… specifically she decided for France, capitaly city Paris because she always wanted to see this city and living there should be fantastic. Regina just knew that she needs some big city with many people, place where is rush and still something happening where she can forget for everything she has gone through.

She´s going to Portland, where she´ll take a plane and fly for 10 hours. Then when she will be at the french airport Roissy-Charles de Gaulle she will try to find some hotel while she´ll be looking for some house or apartment. And on this way she did this. She left Storybrooke and she was in hotel in Paris. And then it happened. She´s going to sick like she never was. She was tired and still slept, she was weak and first time she thought it´s just because she´s sad and she missed Henry but then she decided to go to doctor because she had a suspicion what was happening with her. And she was right. She was pregnant.

Honesly she didn´t know what to do. She was suprised because she never waited it can happen to her. She reconciled that one child she will have is Henry, adopted son who she loved more than anyone. But it was happening. And this child will be just her. No birth mother who can come and take him or her away from Regina because she will be birth mother… She will be truly mom, mom… Her… Regina Mills, Ex-Evil Queen will be birth mom with man she loved and she lost. But it doesn´t matter now because like Robin said in Enchanted Forrest she just needs to find something to live for and she did. Her child. Their child. Nobody else had right to this child. Well, maybe Robin could but Regina knew he had his family and son and it wasn´t so crime to keep this little and beautiful secret from him.

And the main reason was that she really didn´t want to destroy his family because she remembered like Robin was talking about his dead wife. He loved her and never stopped. That´s a good decision. She will have a baby alone and it didn´t mean she will love Henry less. Albsolutely not because she decided that Henry will be one person who she´s going to tell about her child.

She knew Robin will have another chance have a next baby with Marian. Why she would have destroy his chance to expand his family. That wouldn´t be fair. She lost his love but she had a child, she had a reason to live. Child who never can be drafted by someone else. And if Robin find out about their child… that´s she will solve it when it happen but not now and she knew she will never ever tell him. It´s simple, she just can tell all of them except Henry that she adopted child again. Nobody will have any reason to doubt.

„Yes, it´s mine. Just mine." she whispered when she watched to ultrasound and listened to the baby´s heartbeat. She cried with emotion.
„I know, doctor, you can´t tell me it will be boy or girl but I can make you sure I know it. It will be a girl. I just feel it. I can´t explain. I prensent you will all of my pleasure my daughter Danielle Mills. Yes, it will be Danielle," she said and didn´t stop to watch monitor. Yes, after my Daniel who had to die so tragically by my mother´s hands and in my arms, she thought. After her Daniel but just her name will be french: "Danielle"

But what about second name. The story about Robin Hood is from Britain. And then she remembered Henry´s the most favorite story. It wasn´t story actually, but legend about Arthur and his knights. So her next name can be after Arthur´s Queen Guinevere. Yes, it is strange to give her this name but Regina liked it. She still listened Henry´s voice when he was a little boy: „And a big round table…"she sigh and put down her head against her chair.
„It will be Danielle Guinevere Mills, the new princess in our family. Daughter of the happiest mother on the world. Her father loved forrest, doctor." She finally looked at him and go on:
„She will be my princess of the Forrest Kingdom" and in her mind she said: „Miss Hood"

Storybrooke present day

Robin had a bad dreams probably because he still rolled over his place for sleep under his shelter. He didn´t know if he asleep or awake but he heard the voice. Five years he tried to live with his wife and sometimes he had a time he was a happy with her and his little son because Roland was a one reason why he was still breathing. Sometimes he was able to not think to her. Regina. But it was moments here like right now when he felt empty. Regina took his heart away from here… so far like she was. The last few days he felt like she could be closer than ever, like she would be returned to him, like she would be coming home.

„What do you see in me?" she asked once, Robin heard her voice like he would be at some cave and she would sit by his side and talk to him. But he was in the forrest and she was gone. He just remembered in his sleep for her face and glint in her eyes when he replied to her:
„Hopefully the same thing you see in me,…" she looked into his eyes, „…a second chance."

It was one of a little their common time. They didn´t get more time to be happy and spent more happy moments together. A few dates, a few kisses, a few nights, just one ice-cream afternoon with Roland and then was over. Marian came back and he was happy but then Regina was gone and he maybe had his family back like he alway dreamed of it but it wasn´t happiness for him like with Regina. But she´s gone now and he lost hope to she can come back to home.

„And you´re quite a good kisser…" he added once. He remembered to her impish smile when she looked at him and said: „Just wait till I actualy have my heart back."

„Robin!" he heard some familiar voice but he almost didn´t perceive it. It was really familiar voice, he certainly knows that voice but it was like this voice would be some far away from him.

„It´s difficult to explain." she said.
„Then don´t" he interruped her. He wanted to she knew his heart belongs just to her and anyone else but now it seems he didn´t much convincing because she left him, she left from his life so quickly she came to. He put her hand or his heart and held it there: „Use mine for the both of us…"

„Robin, wake up!" the familiar voice came again but in this time was closer. He opened his eyes and found out who belongs the voice. His wife. Marian sat by his side and carefully looked down to him.
„Just bad dream" he got her back look and made her sure it´s true: „Really, just bad dream."
„Robin, i really don´t know what happened to you five years ago when I was gone and you were alone with our son and I lost his first years in this world, but I just can´t handle this, i have to ask. You always changed the subject and I then can´t…" He interrupted her and stood up: „Something to eat?" She stood up too and followed him, she was decided this time to not let him send her away. She had to knows everything.

„Like now, for example… You changed the subject and running away from me. I can´t live like this… Look at me when I talking with you!" She took his shoulder and turned him towards her. She looked angry and she was, she yelled to him:
„What do you think, Robin…" He never saw her like this, „…that I am stupid?"
Robin was really suprised for this reaction. He knows Marian like patient and kind woman, she never yelled before but he understood her.
„Of course I don´t think you´re stupid." He replied.
„Obviously you do… Don´t you really see what happening here? Merry men lied to me into my eyes. They walking around me really silent and they whispering just God knows what about. And always when you see Henry Mills when he comes to visit Roland, you are nervous. And anytime when some tell the name of the Evil Queen and then he realize that I am here too he just shut up! I can´t handle this. It´s enough. I want answers… I deserve this because I live like this for 5 years! What did you have with the Evil Queen? Why my son asking for her? Why her son comes here every day. Well, I like Henry but it´s strange… And you talking her name from your sleep… I thought she hurt you physically maybe… Well, she is evil but now, I don´t know…So tell me because I´m listening!" He just looked at her and then he dodged her eyes. He looked down to the ground.

„What do you want from me? I am here, with you and our son and I trying everyday to make happiness for both of you… I do my best… Don´t you see that? Do you have to dissect it to much? I am here, so what do you want more?" He looked at her and saw her surprise look and then he knows she certainly has a answer for this and she was:
„But you´re not here… Maybe physically but your heart and soul is somewhere far in land which names France in big city Paris…And try to deny…After this 5 years tell me the truth the first time." now she couldn´t look at him and she looked up to the sky and her tears came here. He could see at the moment how much he was hurting her and didn´t know that.

„I am sorry Marian, but you know me like anyone else… I can´t pretend." he was so tired from apologies and then his nerves carried away and he started yelled to her:
„Just stop, Marian! She´s gone and she never come back! She gave you a chance, another chance to be with your family. Even this not going to convince you that she has changed?"
She just stood up infront him with crying eyes and then she looked back to him with amazement face:
„This is not about her! This is about you! She moved over you, she started new life, far away from you. She started again from scratch… You are this one who still weeping past. At least she had enough strenght to leave her home and let it be! But what about you! You telling you trying but you´re not! I´m realizing what she has done for me and I admire her for it! Truly I do!" Robin couldn´t belive what he heard right now, he didn´t understand. How is possible Marian knew how Regina lived, how could she knows Regina moved over him.

„How the hell do you know this?" Marian stepped back and Robin took a step to her.
„I don´t understand…" she said. Robin raised eyebrows.
„How could you know she´s move over me and how could you know what is her life now?"
Robin took another step to her. He stood infront her really close and looked into her eyes.
Marian lowered her eyes and her hands were nervously shaked. Robin took her hands in his and forced her to look at him.

„Marian, I know you more than anyone… and that´s how you act you do just when you´re lying or keep something in secret from me." And then he used her replica which she used few minutes ago: „So tell me because I´m listening"
She snatched her hands from his and stepped away from him again. She turned her back to him but she still was standing. Robin can´t let it be.
„So what? It was you who said me nobody talk to you about Regina a few minutes ago … so you can´t know about her anything."

She took a deep breath and started explain but she didn´t turn to him again: „Yes, it´s very complicated…"
„Doesn´t matter, tell me everything…" She sigh and turned to him: „ Do you know hear that or not?" Then she turned her back to him again.
„Well, perhaps you know Regina often calling with her family and son. One day I was Charming´s place and took care of little Neal. And phone rang so I picked it up and she was there. I didn´t know in the first moment. I asked her to let them message and she told me she will call later… but I didn´t let her finish. I had to know something about her. So she told me everything and didn´t angry to me that I asked for her. And then she wanted know about us, well... me and Roland, how is he and what about his school, does he like it? And similir things but not you. And then…" Marian finally looked at him again he was surprised and shocked.
„…Then she offered me we can talk together about our families because she really misses Roland. So sometimes when you are not with us I calling her and let Rolan talk to her because he misses her too. When I asked you today why he asking for her everyday… Where exactly do you remember he asked the last time, Robin? Few weeks ago? Yes, because he calling with her for few weeks." Robin felt tears in his eyes. She doesn´t want to know anything about him… Maybe she hates him…

„And what about her? How is she?" she asked his wife really carefully.
„Well, she´s fine. Her voice sounded very happily. If I have to be honest I was surprised because I always knew her like the Evil Queen with scary voice. She has a house in Paris and one another on the beach for a relax. She told me she needed it because she is often tired, her job is really stessful but she likes it. And she told me about the big city where she lives, she was so excited."

Robin took a step to her. He got finally some news about her. For five years he didn´t know anything about her.
„And she doesn´t miss money, friends and…" Marian stopped and Robin cocked his head and waiting what she wants to tell… „What…?" he asked very impatiently
„Well, family… And that´s a reason I got the impression she started again without you…and not looking back to her past which she obviously had with you."
Robin just stared at his wife and couldn´t belive this. How could she keep it in secret from him... that their son talked to Regina…maybe Merry men lied to him too and they talked to her… He was so sad and angry: „You should have told me" With this words he turned his back to her and left.