Oh my gawd.

I haven't updated this in two months!

Sumimasen! bows
Alright, maybe nobody is caring – in the end, this story was disastrous if we consider the feedback. I even thought about deleting it, but…well, someone reviewed. So, I thought that, even if just for one person…

Chapter two and the small epilogue are up. The story is now complete.

Dedicated to: everyone who read it and reviewed it.

Yumi-chan

Chapter Two: Counter-clockwise

"Thirty minutes to whisper your name
Thirty minutes to shoulder the blame
Thirty minutes of bliss, thirty lies
Thirty minutes to finally decide"

t.A.T.u. – 30 Minutes

Abarai Renji's POV

The small clock of the infirmary was slowly tickling towards 4 o'clock, its rhythmical noise resounding in the silent and semi-deserted room.

On the brown, woody desk a noticeable mess of papers, half-munched snacks and cups of coffee was indicating another long night on duty for the lonely doctor who had in charge the whole ward.

Said doctor was now sprawled on a stuffed chair, his head tiredly rested against his left palm while his free limb was automatically signing papers on papers to the point of feeling all his muscles tingle.

Abarai Renji had never been diligent about paperwork – he preferred the direct action, the surgery room, the ER. So, it wasn't that odd to find him up at ungodly hours giving in to all those junk-foods he banned for his patients and practically drunk with coffee, filling in his forgotten forms and clinical reports – moreover, he was on duty tonight, he didn't even have to sacrifice some of his precious leisure time.

What was really odd, however, were the thoughts spinning around in his tired and sleepy head.

Gawd, what a long day it had been. Long and numbing even though he didn't even smell the scent of the dear Surgery Room apart from a boring and short appendectomy.
Open up, take it off, sew it down.

What a stupid thing for a skilled surgeon.

Well, it wasn't like he lacked modesty, but…let's say he had enough pride to feel smug of his condition of self-made man. And his most recent promotion with reassignment to the biggest hospital of the town had been just the latest, biggest proof.
Everything he had was his and purely his – no one had ever given him something, unless his own sweat and nearly ten years of hard work.

And now? Now he could earn twice the money both his parents managed to gather when he was a kid and he had a real home – not a big one, but surely something better than a cold and stinky caravan.

It was somewhat reassuring to think about that – especially in difficult nights like that one.

When he had first told his parents and brothers – he actually had two older siblings – he was going to try and win a scholarship for the Medicine Course at the University, they had laughed at him.

He, Abarai Renji, reckless, hopeless backstreet rat was about to try and take the big shot of life in the most prestigious college of the area – it was something to make you die out of laughter.

Seriously, how could he make it? He couldn't, he simply couldn't. Why wouldn't he renounce and find some useful job? Or maybe it was just a way to try and skip his duties now that he wasn't a "kiddo" anymore – why wouldn't he accept that position as a plumber?

Because in his life, Abarai Renji didn't want to be a plumber or a bricklayer or anything else.

He wanted to be a doctor. Period. No matter what.

He didn't remember how exactly he did develop that passion, nor when.

He couldn't say his family was fond of medical departments – cures cost and they didn't have much money, so their experience of doctors was limited to the nasty nurses assigned to vaccinations in the hood's filthy sanatorium and the skinny dentist who occasionally extracted their teeth with the gracefulness of a pissed ape.

Good Lord, he had even had braces from that man.

Well, that was until he turned 11 and caught quite a serious bout of pneumonia.

When he was to think about it, the first thing Renji remembered was how his father had cursed his lungs out as soon as he knew his son needed serious medical treatment. He had pointed out – with abundance of Saints called down from Paradise as special guests – that he was breathing polish 24/7 in that dirty factory downtown and he didn't even remember how many times a day he coughed, so there was no way a kid with a little wheeze and fever would waste his sweated money in a freaking hospital.

However, when the "kid with a little wheeze and fever" started to cough up blood and passed out a few times, the famous "way" was promptly found and Renji was accepted in a real hospital, like those they had seen in movies, with white walls and white beds – and without spiders and creepy-crawlies scattered around.

Despite the scary stories of vampire-like doctors ready to skin alive and eat sick children his older brothers had blessed him with, his 43 days in that place weren't so bad – clinics were nice and funny and nurses brought him hot-chocolate instead of calling him reeking-brat and drag him by his ear to get his prevention shots. Oh, and speaking of shots, in such a place, even needles seemed to hurt less.

Maybe it was that time that Renji understood what his path for life was.

Or maybe not. Maybe it was another, griever event to make him decide the white coat was his only rightful vocation.

It was a rainy day of November, he couldn't forget it because his mother's birthday was near and he was in a shopping trying to decide whether she would rather receive a hair-drier or a new coffee-machine. Then, his mobile rang – a message from his older brother, the run to the hospital recklessly riding his motorcycle.

When he was admitted in the room, she was lying there, motionlessly, a cloudy mask providing her oxygen while hundredths of little tubes went in and out of her bruised body.

He had felt so ignorant at the time, so powerless. If only the secrets behind the human body were clear to him, if only he was more prepared, maybe…just maybe he could do something not too see his best-friend tossed on a bed like some abused Guinea-pig.

Rukia…

What a crappy family she lived in – her mother died giving her birth and her father used to get drunk and beat the Hell out of her and her sister, Hisana – though, since when the older daughter had found a good man to marry and left that shit, all his aggression was concentrated on the little one.

And evidently, that time his hands and feet had been too heavy. Just a little heavier and she would be buried in the family grave, next to her mother – and her sister. Even if Hisana was still alive and well at the time.

Oh, the sick irony of life. The end of her sibling's life had been a chance to rebirth to her. In fact, without no apparent reason, Rukia had been practically adopted by the rich man her sister had married and left her father's house to go and live with him.

But, from that moment on, her relationship with Renji had gradually slacked off, reaching the point of merely calling each other just for the ritual Christmas wishes.

Sad, but such was life. A filthy bitch.

You can just imagine, then, how utterly surprised he had been to spot Rukia, about 9 years after their last encounter, strolling around the halls of his ward, a nearly desperate expression painted on her face.

The doctor shook his head and blinked a couple of times, staring at some x-rays as if it was the first time in his life he came in contact with similar things.

Oh gawd…mmmm…he took a glance of the clock while gulping down some more black, formerly hot coffee. It was 4.30 in the fucking morning, no wonder he couldn't concentrate much anymore. His sleepiness was rightfully kicking in after nearly 18 hours of work – and what kind of work.

Well, it was true, no surgery room for him that day, but he had made up for that "lack" with at least seven endoscopies. It was a bit like ordering the strawberry milkshake when they tell you they run out of the chocolate one. A tasteful replacement, but still a replacement.

Or, to put it better still, the absence of nice surgeries to perform had been filled with six endoscopies and a special patient.

After approaching Rukia in the ward and carrying out the dutiful greetings, in fact, Renji had asked her a bit about her presence there, discovering his friend's brother had been recently hospitalized because he had thrown up blood.

'Brother?'

Uhm, yes, that was the way she called poor Hisana's husband.

Honestly, he didn't remember much about him, apart from his long, absolutely black hair and his pale face. Oh, and his aloofness of course.

Rukia, however, had told him about his situation, the fact it looked like he was trying to slowly kill himself after Hisana's death, his sadness, his inability (and lack of will, probably) to share his feelings with the outside world. The doctor had been a bit troubled by those news, startled.

He saw that man just a couple of times before, but the sense of uneasiness had been so thick he had felt very glad when he left. Even on Hisana's funeral.

It wasn't like he believed in… "superstitions", or chakra or stuff like that – he was a "man of science", after all – but there was no other way to put it: that man seemed to emanate dark, sad waves. Anyway, the least Renji could do for his old mate, obviously, was assuring her he would personally take care of him and make sure he'd heal, even talk to him if necessary.

She had smiled so broadly and hugged him close, thanking him at least a thousand of times. He felt happy. Really, really happy.

The exam was difficult, but in the end it went pretty smoothly, without any complication or such.

Kuchiki Byakuya – name he had gathered from the papers – was his last patient for that day, so, instead of instructing some nurse to call him when he'd wake up, he decided to simply wait in the room, giving a look at the previous reports of that… "special" patient. And, anyway, he had promised Rukia he would talk to him – or better talk him into reason once again. And he was a man of honour.

The breakout he drew together was all but bright: his stomach was messy, ulcers were often bleeding and he seemed to spend more time in the hospital than at work.

What Renji didn't know, however, was the acid and freaking irritating attitude of that man.

Gawd…two words and he already felt like giving him some sleeping stuff in his veins and get rid of his annoying tone. But he didn't.

Why? He didn't know. But probably now, a few hours later, he was deeply regretting that choice.

Even more after that happened. They had shared a kiss!

No matter how hard Renji was trying to deny that, it just slammed back in his face every single time. The simple thought made him shudder and throw a disgusted glance at the papers he was filling in. He had kissed a male patient, holy gawd, he had violated the ethical laws of his job and gave in to those deep, greyish eyes screaming in need of love.

Okay, the "kissing-another-man" part wasn't so worrying. He was in a sort of relationship with one of his colleagues, after all. Hisagi Shuuhei, cardiologist, a few years older than him and a perfect sex-buddy. They never asked more of each other and they both were perfectly fine with things as they were.

So why the Hell did he kiss Kuchiki Byakuya – and, for instance, got kissed back?

He didn't feel as if he had betrayed Shuuhei, that wasn't the point – they were both as free as the wind, they didn't want tight bonds and so on.

But why on Earth did he look for a chaste French-kiss from a random patient when he could have

sex and cuddles and whatever from someone he knew and was acquainted with?

Well, he was a gentle-hearted doctor and he had saved a few lost kitties in the past, finding himself unable to resist the famous "puppy eyes" – but he couldn't say Kuchiki Byakuya had particularly sweet or big eyes. Was it the "Florence Nightingale syndrome" then? He didn't know either.

He just saw the need of love in those deep irises and couldn't hold back.

He usually was a protective person, that's true, but what did that man do to deserve it? Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Rationally thinking about that – if rationality could still apply to such a case – an odd feeling of…warmth had already crawled inside of his body as he was lazily going through his patient's papers. Life could be a bitch – oh gawd, it so could, he was well aware of it and pretty familiar with the hardness of living, but …him?

He had been used to a world of fluffiness and perfection, of money and happiness-for-sale. He had a young and beautiful wife and, as far as he knew, a comfy house and all the wealth he could need.

And then…?

Then everything had collapsed in a moment, leaving him with nothing but dust in his hands. Love wasn't money. Love wasn't work, wasn't an expensive car or a suite in a rich hotel. That's what Abarai Renji read in those eyes, that's what his heart throbbed and ached for. It must have been terrible.

You can't end up sore if you fall from the ground. But what if you had reached the highest floor?

You're doomed to be crashed.

He glanced once again at his papers and gulped down the last sips of his black coffee, frowning as the harsh taste filled his mouth. Enough paperwork for that night, it was obvious he couldn't concentrate much, since his mind was happily spacing out.

Had he been affected by that kiss in the same way? Or maybe his sorrow-hardened heart didn't feel any difference, any heat coming from that? Those unpleasant thoughts restlessly wriggled in Renji's mind, evilly tingling his already wounded pride.

How…how could he give in? Why? What was so spellbinding in that man to induce him to a…kiss?

There was no peace for him. No peace at all. But maybe, just maybe…if he saw him once again…

He slammed the cup of coffee back on the desk, firmly cutting himself off.

See him again? What for? To further torture himself? No, no thanks, he didn't need that.

Maybe he should just give Shuuhei a phone call and see if they could meet for some…private intercourse, so to say. But, matter-of-factly, how many chances there were not to be sent to Hell given that it was – he cast a glance at the clock – 5.30 in the frigging morning? Unluckily, not many – his easy form of bodily consolation would have to wait for a while, sadly.

And in the meanwhile…? He couldn't simply ignore the questions and doubts screaming in his head, he would go insane before dawn.

No, there wasn't other way, he needed to see him, to meet his pale face even for just a brief moment and verify if it really had been just the…awkwardness of the moment or…

Or nothing! He couldn't act like that and be so troubled for such a stupid thing. But, if so, why the Hell did he find himself quickly walking down the corridor heading to Kuchiki Byakuya's room?

It was foolish, just foolish.

'Slow down, Renji!'

But he couldn't. He felt inescapably attracted by him. Just a glimpse of his face, just a moment in his presence and everything would get fine again – he kept on repeating to himself.

When he finally reached the door after what looked like an eternity to him, his heart skipped a couple of beats and he nervously licked his lips. His knees quivered.

What the Hell? He felt worse than when he had to pass his final exam at university. He needed more coffee. Possibly hot this time. He distractedly rummaged into his pockets and drew out a few coins, walking up to the coffee-machine placed just a few steps away from the room's door.

He leaned his arm against it and pushed the coins inside, selecting black, sugar-free coffee among the beverages and giving a light kick to the sturdy thing just for good measure.

Gawd, gawd, gawd…

His heart was thumping in his chest and his arms were shaking. When a loud "beep" announced the coffee was ready, he grabbed it and gulped it all down in one go to try and get a hold of himself.

Vainly, though, since his limbs and mind kept on screaming Kuchiki Byakuya's name. He tossed the empty glass into a trashcan and turned again to the door.

250, read the label on the right.

More or less as much as Renji's heartbeats in a minute.

'Come on…come on…you go in, see him, tell him it's just a routine examination if he's awake and go away…'

Righto. When he grabbed the doorknob he found his own hand shaking. He held it tighter.
One slick movement to the left and the heavy wood creaked open.

Silence.
Renji slowly stepped in, carefully. The patient seemed to be asleep, the dim light outlining his skinny figure laying in the bed. The IV was half-way over. He would slow it down a little to grant the poor man a couple of bonus-hours of painlessness.

Not that he particularly needed such a kindness, though.

He shook his head and walked up to him, trying not to make any sound but the gasp that escaped his lips the moment he could catch a glimpse of such a beautiful face.

He looked so peaceful like that, a bit like a defenceless baby – so not like him.

The doctor smiled softly and his hand darted to Byakuya's arm, the little check-up of the needle just a pitiful excuse to touch that ivory skin once again.
One last time. Just to smother all the doubts still nagging and torturing his mind.

"Ow…" a little moan resounded in the room.

Abarai Renji blinked, staring at his patient's body.

'Is…he…awake?'

The answer the young man was looking came with a light movement of the lawyer's head. Deep, violet orbs were now staring into hazelnut-coloured ones.

"D-doctor…?" he whispered softly. Was it the night to quench his fierce temper in such an effective way? Or did he have to blame it on the powerful medicines he was taking?

Who knew? All the doctor was aware of consisted in his excitement and a little blush crawling on his cheeks.

"Yeah, don't worry. I dropped by just to have a look at your IV"

Suuuure. And the sun had suddenly started rotating around Earth. Renji sighed and started checking the speed of the dripping to make that little play-acting a little more…credible.

Kuchiki Byakuya just gave him a little look and moaned again. Then, with a barely audible voice, the started talking

"About today…"

"Yes, I know" Abarai cut him off firmly, his eyebrows knitted in a deep frown "It was a mistake. It shall never happen again, I can swear it on my pride"

The older man looked a little dumbfounded because of the stern explanation and just nodded a little. Yes, it was definitely the painkiller. Without any doubt.

"Here we go" he spoke again "I slowed it down a little, so ya can relax a few hours more. How's your stomach feeling?" he calmly inquired.

Perfect. Things were flowing…well, flawlessly. Now he would just check his belly with a couple of quick touches, see if he was still cramped and then turn on his heels and go away.

What a pity to leave such a ….piece of man, but…whatever, he was taught he couldn't always get anything he wanted.

The fact that, in his life, always and never tended to coincide was another story, though.

"Numbed" Kuchiki Byakuya replied.

Renji smiled "With the amounts of ulcers you have down there I wouldn't complain about it. Now, I'm gonna examine it a little. Tell me if it hurts"

He didn't even wait for the man's reply and he started pressing on a few spots of his abdomen, swiftly. Good, he was improving. He stepped back and little and leaned over to give his touches a little more intensity.

"Abarai-san….?"

The doctor turned around to answer and…

"Mpppppffff!"

Deja-vu. Flashback. Old feeling.

Thin, rosy lips pressing on his own, hot, wet tongue begging for entrance. His mouth opening.

Heated and damp feeling. Oh gawd…that was…

A kiss!

As soon as the sudden realization hit him, Abarai Renji started squirming, desperately trying to pull away from that burning sensation. It was like he didn't like it – actually quite the contrary – but, it needed an explanation. Unless…was he still on his desk and he had just dozed off a little? Was he imagining that all?

No, he wasn't. He became completely sure of it the moment he felt hard teeth nibbling at his lower lip. Then, just a mere second after, the noble lawyer broke the contact, lightly panting.

"Byakuya…" he murmured, mesmerized. Originally there should have been a hint of disappointed in his tone, but when the moment of voicing it out came, he just found out he couldn't.

Gawd, if it depended on him, he would kiss him over and over again, until his lips would be bruised and sore.

"Yes….?" the Kuchiki heir's voice came calm and collected this time – completely clashing with the crimson blush on his face.

"Just….why…?" he inquired, eyes widened in surprise and disbelief.

His hand raised to his own lips and touched them as if he would really grasp a little bit of that wonderful feeling he had experienced.

If it had been just a coincidence, a cruel trick of destiny, a mockery, it was surely the best mockery he had ever been target of.

The room was silent again, he could nearly hear his heartbeat and the medicine dripping and it was driving him crazy. Oh gawd. He wanted to rush away and shut that door – and his heart – close forever. He needed to.

If that tearing feeling would have stayed for just a little longer, he….

But then…a sentence, just a few words.

"I just wanted you to know that the word "mistake" doesn't exist in my life"

Doctor Abarai felt himself being pulled down again for another kiss.

Epilogue: Midnight

Dark, cold, windy, rainy.

All the worse adjectives you can choose to define weather could perfectly apply to that stupid night of November.

Stupid of course, since Abarai Renji was still up to work on stupid papers.

Damn. They had floods of nurses, couldn't they take care of that bullshit and allow the doctors more time for real action of the E.R. variety?

The doctor sighed.

It was just midnight. Still six hours to go before he would finally get home.

He slammed into his mouth an abundant spoonful of (cold), spicy spaghetti with tons of different sauces sprawled over them. God bless take-away shops and their unhealthy food delivered at ungodly hours.

"That's not fair, you prohibit me to eat them and you know I love spicy cooking"

A far-too-familiar voice came from behind his shoulders. Renji turned around.
Kuchiki Byakuya was standing in the doorway in all the glory of a black suit. Impeccable despite that night God seemed to be preparing the Flood act two – so like him.

Gawd, that sexy wicked angel.

"It's for your stomach's wellbeing. Or are you anxious to get ulcers back again?" he replied, still somewhat staring at that appealing body.

"I know…." He walked further in the room, leaning against some old, cranky piece of furniture, looking around the room "But you should think about your own health too, doctor…"

"Not when I have paperwork to do, thankies…" he sighed and turned back to fill in stupid forms "By the way….what are you doing here at midnight? You sick again? You forgot the keys on the counter?"

"None of the above-mentioned, doc" he shifted back a little "But your memory does fail your far too often…"

"My memory fails me?" Renji turned around again with a puzzled expression "What do you mean, Byakuya?"

"Let me help you a little. One year ago. Emergency call. Many bleeding ulcers. Disgusting gastroscopy. A grumpy patient…"

Abarai's face was starting to light up.

"Oh gawd you mean…?"

Kuchiki Byakuya nodded.

"Our first encounter?"

The man nodded again.

"Oh gawd…" he blinked a few times "One year ago today? And you remembered?"

"Of course I do. Did I ever forget something important?"

The red-haired boy slowly shook his head "Geeeez…you're scary. It must be all the spinach I made you eat for your anaemia…"

The usually stern lawyer gave in and chuckled softly, walking up to his lover "No, it's just that I love you, doctor Abarai" he planted a kiss on the surprised man's face.

"I…I love you too…" he replied dumfounded. Then, his lips quickly turned into a soft smirking "By the way it's thanks to that "disgusting gastroscopy" if you healed. And, more importantly, if you met the best man available…."

Kuchiki Byakuya raised a brow "Oh, really? Sorry if that exam is not the highest aspiration in my life. And the second statement is wholly arguable…"

"Hey, take it back, you noble ass!" Renji snorted

It was the black-head's turn to smirk "No way"

Many laughing sounds and surprised yelps could be heard by the nurses and patients passing by the infirmary. But they would just shake their heads and smile knowingly.

In the end, hearing such a couple bickering like that was always heart-warming.

o-O-o Owari o-O-o