2

A Loaded Smile

Magnus was sulking, to say the least. The others were crowded around Jared on couches, smiling joking. He was off to the side in a chair, arms over his chest, legs crossed, eyes on Alec.

Alec hadn't talked to him, hadn't looked at him since Jared got here. It hurt…

He watched them talk and laugh, wishing Alec would just look at him. This was worse than when they were staying secret.

He's MINE! He wanted to scream. He wanted to snatch him up and run as far away from Jared as he could. Alec, just look at me, please… But he sat, silent, watching.

Isabelle was looking at him. She followed Magnus's gaze to her brother and sighed. She saw it; she understood why he looked so sad. And, as usual, Alec was totally –innocently- oblivious. She doubted Alec noticed the way Jared was looking at him, either.

He, Jace and Jared were gabbing away about weapons, battles, Idris, women, and other boy things she could care less about.

"What's wrong?" Clary asked quietly, noticing her expression. Isabelle nodded in Magnus's direction. "What's the matter with-? Oh." She nodded again. "And Alec doesn't..?" She shook her head. "Oh, this cannot end well."

It was even worse when Maryse and Robert came home. Robert immediately started talking with the boys, recognizing the war they were speaking of and began talking right away.

Maryse, however, went to Jared, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"My, you've gotten so big," she smiled. Smiled. "How long will you be with us?" Clary and Isabelle exchanged horrified glances. Jace looked over at Magnus briefly before scoffing and shaking his head.

"A few weeks," Jared shrugged.

"Aw, so soon?"

"Yes, ma'am," he smiled. She patted his shoulder.

"Well, don't let me interrupt," she smiled at him and Alec before walking away.

Magnus looked even more crestfallen than before. Maryse liked Jared. She hated him. She didn't want Alec anywhere near him.

Maryse walked past him and she stopped, eyes daggers. "Don't you have somewhere else to be, warlock?" She sneered. Isabelle and Clary flinched with him.

Magnus stood, looking small and sad. He walked past the chattering men, stopping at the door next to Clary and Isabelle.

"Alec," he said softly. The young Shadowhunter didn't turn. He was engrossed in a story Jared was telling. Magnus swallowed. "Alec," there was a slight break in his voice. The boys erupted in laughter, drowning out his final, "Alec, please…"

He turned and left, glitter falling in his wake as he went.

Clary and Isabelle stared after him. Jace did too. They shook their heads.

"He'll figure it out in about an hour," Jace sighed, looking at Alec for a moment. "Maybe."

Magnus wrenched the leather coat from his shoulders, tearing off his rings as well. He kicked his boots off, not caring what he broke in the process.

He stormed into the bathroom. He stared at his disgusting face, wishing he looked like anyone else.

Ugly, ugly, ugly, UGLY! You're so unbelievably hideous, no wonder he ignored you. You don't deserve him. Freak.

He scraped at his eyes, smearing the eyeliner and silver shadow. He dug and wiped until it was scuffs and blotched around them, leaving a few cuts and gashes from his nails. He slammed his fists into the tile and the marble counter over and over until the polish was chipped and dented.

He grabbed at his hair next. Glitter scattered all over the counter as he ripped it from its' styled form.

He finally stopped, nails and face bleeding, scalp sore, and looked at himself.

His face, now smeared in black and grey and red, hair lank and sticking out oddly, fingers mangled.

There's what he was, right there with his grotesque eyes framed in horror, a monster.

This, of course, was just his view of himself. An outsider wouldn't see a monster. They would see a boy. A heartbroken, scared, frustrated boy. He didn't look ugly; he looked like he needed help.

Magnus glared at himself, getting angrier and angrier until the mirror shattered.

He hung his head, sobbing softly. He'd fought so hard to get Alec, to get him solely his and not have to share him with Jace or keep it a secret. And now he was afraid he was going to lose him, and he didn't know what he could do to keep him.

Maybe he was overreacting.

But why wouldn't Alec leave him? Jared was handsome, polite, warm, normal. Normal. People would approve a lot more if Alec was dating someone like that. They sneer and scoff and hate when they find out he's dating a Downworlder, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, no less.

His mother liked him too. No, no it made perfect sense for Alec to leave him. And that was why he was crying so hard, alone, on the cold tile, wishing he could have those warm arms around him.

Alec thought Jared was hilarious. He was a riot, and nearly everything he said made him laugh.

"So, you guys wanna hang out tomorrow?"" Jared asked.

"Yeah," Alec grinned. "Sounds fun."

"Yeah," Jace nodded. Clary chewed her lip, glancing warily at him. "Uh, maybe we should ask Magnus to come along."

"I don't think he likes me," Jared said.

I wonder why… Jace thought.

"Nah, that's just Magnus," Alec chuckled. "Right, Mag…" He looked around, trying to find him. Jace looked at his watch. Right on time. He looked at Clary and Isabelle as if to say: "Told ya so."

"Where's Magnus?" He asked. Jace chuckled, shaking his head at his brother's stupidity.

"He left over an hour ago," he said.

"What?" He jumped up, grabbing his jacket and heading for the door. "Why didn't-? Ugh, I'll see you guys tomorrow!" He called before jogging out of the room.

Magnus's house was dark, as if he were asleep. Alec glanced at his watch; it was only nine thirty.

"Mwar," Chairman Meow cooed from the sofa.

"He asleep?" He whispered. The cat turned its' head toward the door to Magnus's bedroom. "Thanks."

Anything and everything that was destroyed or broken was put back, erasing any and all signs of the warlock's tantrum and leaving Alec clueless to what happened.

Alec quietly stepped into the bedroom, not wanting to wake the warlock if he truly was asleep.

Magnus was spread out on his bed, caramel skin standing out against the dark blue sheets beautifully. The moonlight filtered through the curtains and onto his back, perfectly highlighting each and every muscle on his back. His face was illuminated in a beam, peaceful and make-up free.

Alec sighed, smiling a little. He didn't know why Magnus even put it on. He was just as gorgeous without it.

He climbed in the bed next to him, softly kissing his back, lips tingling at the feel of his warm skin.

Magnus stirred, turning over and looking up at his sleepily.

"Hey," Alec smiled, leaning down to kiss him. Magnus dodged him and rolled back over, not saying a word. "Magnus, what's wrong?"

"I'm tired," he mumbled. Alec frowned.

"No you're not, what's the matter? Why did you disappear like that?"

"Your mother told me to leave," he said softly.

"What?" Alec exclaimed. "Why didn't you say-?"

"I did." Alec stared at the back of his head. "I did say something. You were too busy to notice." Alec's brow creased sadly. He lied down next to him, combing his fingers through his hair.

Magnus tensed a little, shutting his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Alec said. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you. And…and I'm sorry that my mom's such a bitch to you." Magnus snorted, shaking his head and pulling away from him.

"Magnus, what-?"

"Just go to sleep," he said softly. Alec frowned again. He sighed and put an arm around Magnus, shutting his eyes.

Magnus wanted to stay angry with him. He wanted to be furious with him for not realizing why he was so mad, for being so oblivious it should be a crime. But he couldn't. The argument his head was pushing lost to the longing in his heart.

He rolled back over, holding Alec to him, wishing he were stronger. He kissed the top of Alec's head, breathing in the smell of his shampoo.

Alec smiled against Magnus's chest, sighing, understanding that everything was okay. Even though it was anything but.

And he still had no idea.

-*facepalm* Gotta love oblivious Alec, huh? More soon!-