A few days later, Chakotay is sitting in their kitchen table, making a show of casually eating his breakfast while casting furtive glances between the comm unit sitting in the living room and their old fashioned grandfather clock so many times that he's beginning to grow dizzy. Kathryn is sitting across from him, eating her own breakfast at a leisurely pace and reading a book.
Normally he loved reveling in these blissfully quiet moments with her, content to let the hours while away while he soaks in the peace of her presence. But today is a big day, one that he needs to go off without a hitch. And right now a hitch is trying to weasel its way into his plans in the form of B'Elanna being twenty minutes late with her prearranged call.
"Chakotay," Kathryn suddenly says, startling him out of his impatient musings. "Is everything all right?"
"What? No…I mean, yes! I'm fine. I mean, it's fine. Everything's fine." He pauses for a breath. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, you just seem a bit…flustered. And you've hardly touched your breakfast."
Chakotay looks down to see most of his food still present, only pushed to the very edge of the plate and in danger of toppling the rest of the way over to the table. Funny, I could have sworn I'd been eating it…
"Chakotay."
"Hmm?"
"Are you sure you're okay?"
He sighs and wills himself to calm down a bit before he gives the whole game away. He smiles at her reassuringly. "I'm sorry, Kathryn, I really am all right. I just didn't sleep well, that's all."
"Not another nightmare, was it?"
Chakotay shudders at the very thought. Soon after they were reunited after her death, Chakotay had been plagued by nightmares of the whole thing being a dream and Kathryn still being at the mercy of the Borg and never returned to him. He tried to keep it hidden from her (she had her own nightmares to contend with) but once one nightmare had been so vivid that he was startled awake drenched in sweat and with his heart pounding. He had reached out for Kathryn as he always did when those nightmares hit him…only to find that she wasn't there. In a panic he had raced from the bedroom of his quarters on Voyager, practically shouting her name until he spotted her on the other side of living room reading dull PADDs in an attempt to fall back to sleep. She had forgotten that task immediately and rushed into his arms to let him hold her as he cried with relief.
She always kept a stack of PADDs on her nightstand after that.
It's been a while since he's been haunted by those nightmares, and the last thing he wants is for her to think that she has to start worrying about him like that again. He gets up and rounds the table to put a reassuring hand on her cheek.
"Nothing like that, I promise. No need to worry needlessly, okay? It'll only stress you out." She raises a teasing eyebrow.
"You're lecturing me on worrying too much about a loved one?"
"Well I am the resident expert on it, aren't are? Might as well put all this wisdom to good use. Maybe I'll even start charging…"
"Would I get a discount?"
"No, but I'm sure we could come up with some sort of payment plan." At that, he leans down and kisses her soundly on the lips. He goes to pull away, but Kathryn grabs the back of his neck and deepens it until she pulls a groan from him. When she finally releases him, Chakotay straightens but has to close his eyes for a second to steady his pleasantly tilting world.
"I'd better get out of here and go shower before I'm tempted to cancel all of our plans and keep you here all day," he tells her coyly.
"Who says I wouldn't be okay with that?" she answers saucily. He chuckles.
"You're the one who's been complaining about being cooped up here with the rain for the last few days and wanting to take advantage of the first beautiful day that comes along. And I agree." He makes a sweeping gesture to their large bay windows. "Beautiful day." He gestures to her. "Beautiful woman. They should go together."
Kathryn grins at him. "Fine, you've convinced me. Go. Shower. Change. And be ready to do some advantage-taking as soon as I take my turn after you."
"Aye, Admiral." She swats at his backside as he walks by and grins all the way to the bedroom, anxiety easily forgotten as Kathryn's playfulness and general mood lifting abilities instantly reaffirm Chakotay's belief that he's about to do the right thing.
After a record fast shower and a quick change of clothing, Chakotay glances back to the living room through the open bedroom door to make sure Kathryn is still engrossed in her breakfast and book, then he opens one of the drawers in their dresser and reaches way in the back to pull out a pair of old gloves he rarely uses. He sticks his hand inside one glove and pulls out a ring box, opening it for the umpteenth time since he got it to admire the brilliant little engagement ring that sits nestled among the velvet. He gives the diamond on top one last shine before pocketing the box and strolling back to the living room as casually as he can muster even as the giddiness of happy anticipation threatens to turn his every step into a bounce.
Kathryn has finished eating breakfast, so she clears the table and leaves to take her turn in the shower and get dressed. Chakotay glances at the timepiece again, wondering what could possibly be keeping B'Elanna and the others and hoping whatever it is would fix itself fast. Kathryn is going to want to go out right after she's ready, and if he misses B'Elanna's comm, the whole plan will instantly become much more convoluted than it already is.
Finally, the comm unit quietly chirps an incoming transmission. Chakotay races to sit on the living room couch and answer it.
"What took you guys so long?!" he demands without preamble. B'Elanna appears taken aback for a second and responds in a biting tone.
"Well hello to you too, Old Man. And yes, you're very welcome for taking the two hours that were necessary to install ten new removable holoemitters on the bridge." Chakotay sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
"I'm sorry. It's just that Kathryn was almost finished getting ready and she wants to go out immediately. I was afraid we were going to miss your call. Did everything get set up okay?"
"Aside from a few stubborn emitters refusing to project at first, everything is running perfectly. Harry and Tom tested it out a few times just to be sure. And the setting is so romantic, they very nearly proposed to each other."
Chakotay laughs then grows sincere. "Thank you so much, B'Elanna. To you and Tom and Harry. This means a lot to me." B'Elanna blushes and becomes uncharacteristically shy.
"It's the least we could do for you guys, after all you've done for us. We….we love you both."
"Can you say that again while I hit the record button?" he teases, earning a good-natured glare.
"Not on your life, Old Man. So when are you planning on-,"
Chakotay clears his throat loudly when he hears the bedroom door swing open behind him and footsteps cross over to the kitchen, no doubt to take their owner to the coffee pot where she will pour herself a generous supply.
"Well B'Elanna, if you're sure it'll only take an hour or so, I guess we could be persuaded to swing by." She caught on quickly and gave a wink.
"We'd really appreciate it, Chakotay. It seems our encryption techniques worked a little too well."
"What about encryption techniques?" Kathryn asks when she comes over to stand behind him, oversized coffee mug in hand.
"Oh, good morning, Admiral. I was just talking to your partner in crime about possibly persuading you both to join us on Voyager for an hour. We're working on a few upgrades and it seems the computer is stubbornly refusing to grant us access to all systems without the voiceprint of our illustrious captain over here."
"It seems the security measures we took during out second foray into the Delta Quadrant worked a little too well," Chakotay tells Kathryn. "It won't even take my voice print over the comm."
"It's probably a malfunction in the comm system subroutines, but bypassing all the security measures could take us hours. It'd be a lot easier if Chakotay were here to just grant us access. I'm sorry Admiral, I know it's your vacation…"
"It's not a problem B'Elanna, I assure you. Our plans for today are perfectly flexible."
B'Elanna makes the perfect show of looking relieved. "Thanks, Admiral. I promise we won't keep you long. We'll see you here soon. Torres out." Kathryn smiles down at Chakotay after the screen goes blank.
"Well, it looks like we're going back to the old stomping grounds."
"Are you sure you don't mind?"
"Not at all. I'm sure the beautiful day will still be waiting for us when we're done."
Chakotay smiles, stands up, and offers her his hand. She takes it affectionately and together they leave the apartment towards the Presidio, where Voyager is temporarily parked while repairs and reviews are underway. Kathryn is speaking about….something, but Chakotay is only half listening. They are getting closer and closer to the big moment and he finds his anxiety mounting again. It's a good kind of anxiety, but it has his heart beating uncomfortably fast nonetheless.
They beam aboard Voyager and are greeted by two starstruck young cadets on a learning tour of the ship who tell them that B'Elanna has asked them to let the former command team know to meet her on the bridge. They begin to make their way out of the transporter room but Kathryn is suddenly called back by one of the cadets shyly asking her if she could give him some advice about what track to follow at the Academy. Chakotay sighs inwardly with relief, glad to see that Tom has passed word onto these new accomplices in his plans just as he promised he would. With Kathryn safely occupied, he steps into the hall just outside the transporter room and surreptitiously taps his commbadge.
"Chakotay to Kim."
"Kim here, Captain. Has the eagle landed?"
Chakotay chuckles. "We're both here, Harry. And you can drop the code words, she's busy at the moment. Everything ready?"
"We're all set up here, Sir. Just say the word and we'll get it running."
"Do it now then high tail it out of there. We'll be on our way up in a few minutes."
"Acknowledged. Kim out."
Chakotay smothers his overexcited grin just as Kathryn exits the transporter room.
"Ready to go?" she asks, and when he answers with only a nod she frowns a little. "You're slipping into quiet mode again. Are you sure you're all right?"
"I'm fine, Kathryn. In fact, everything's perfect."
With a smile, Chakotay offers her his arm and she loops her hand through it with a smile of her own, albeit it with a slightly suspicious look in her eyes.
Eleven years. Eleven years of doing that exact same gesture on any occasion that would allow it and it still thrills him to no end when her delicate hand latches on to his arm. Uniform, civilian clothing, bare skin, it doesn't matter. Whenever she touches him the softness of her skin and the gentleness of her touch lance straight to his heart with a force so intense that sometimes he can't breathe. Eleven years, and he knows it will be hundreds of years still that her touch will have that exact same effect on him. It makes him once again even more sure of what he's about to do.
Kathryn is his and he is hers. It's finally time to make that more permanent.
Kathryn sighs contently as she strides arm-in-arm with Chakotay through the halls of Voyager on their way to the turbolift. It seems like only yesterday that they walked down these very halls together as captain and first officer. A lot has happened since then. Unspeakable tragedies. Almost too many losses to bear. But they emerged on the other side mostly and miraculously intact, and now here she is. Free to walk on the arm of the man she loves with no fear of parameters or protocols. It feels heavenly.
Well, almost heavenly. Chakotay has been awfully fidgety and occasionally too quiet throughout the day. She wonders if something more is bothering him other than his lack of sleep….or worse yet, if she has done something to bother him. Thinking back, she can't recall anything specific. Is he annoyed that she agreed to come help B'Elanna when it's supposed to be their time off? No, that can't be it, he's the one that suggested it. Well, whatever it is, she hopes he snaps out of it soon. She has a big day planned for the two of them that consists of a happy stroll through the park, a light-hearted dinner at one of their favorite restaurants, and extremely pleasant activities in their bed to cap off the day. That won't work at all if he stays in this little funk.
"Are you sure something isn't bothering you, Chakotay?" she asks again, deciding on her usual route of tackling the problem directly.
"Not at all," he assures her. "Why do you ask?"
"You've just been a little….off today. It seems like something more than just lack of sleep." They enter the turbolift and she calls for the bridge. She waits for Chakotay to explain his stoicism but instead he looks around the 'lift and stays quiet, as if waiting for something. Finally he speaks.
"I was just thinking, Kathryn," he smiles and takes her hand, "what do you want to do with the rest of our days off?"
Kathryn's surprised by the change of subject but decides to go along if it gets him talking. She gives him a saucy smile. "I know what I want do with our nights."
To her immense relief and pleasure, Chakotay give her a seductive grin right back. "Well that goes without saying." He sobers a bit. "But really, they're winding down fast. What do you want to do?"
"Oh I don't know," she muses. "Maybe we could spend a few days in Paris? Or Italy? Visit all the sights. It's been a while since I've been to Ireland, actually..."
"I have an idea," Chakotay cuts her off somewhat eagerly. "How about we get married?"
He says it so nonchalantly that she has to assume he's joking. "Married?"
"Yes, married. We could do it this Saturday before everyone leaves after the Prixin celebrations. Then we could use the last of our days on our honeymoon, anywhere you want to go."
"Anywhere?" Kathryn asks teasingly, still thinking that he must be joking. He grins and squeezes her hand.
"Anywhere, Kathryn. What do you say?"
"Is this your way of proposing, Captain?" she jokes. There's just no way, she thinks as she vaguely registers the 'lift coming to a halt, there's no way he would propose in a turbolift with no ring…
"I don't know, Admiral, you tell me." The doors swish open and she sees Chakotay's eyes slide to the left. She follows his gaze to the turbolift doors and can't stop the gasp that escapes her lips.
The bridge is dark, set to the low lighting of code blue, but the rest of it is illuminated with the most candles she has ever seen in her life, sporadically placed all across the decks. There are flower petals too, peach colored ones strewn across the floors and the consoles and the chairs, and bouquets of peace roses stuck out in various places. The viewscreen is set to a lovely picture of Earth that catches the glows of Aurora Borealis in stunning clarity.
Kathryn already feels tears pricking her eyes as she is finally able to get herself to step out of the 'lift. She looks down and notices for the first time that a path has been lined by candles that leads directly to the area in front of their former command chairs. She follows the path while still taking in the scene before her, captivated by its breathtaking beauty, until she finds herself standing in a circle of candles close to the first officer's seat.
"Chakotay," she begins breathlessly, "this is…how…?" She turns around and stops short when she finds Chakotay directly behind her, bent down on one knee.
"Kathryn," he begins, and her heart swells when she hears his voice break with emotion as he speaks her name so reverently. "I love you. I've loved you from the moment I materialized right here on this bridge and was stunned by the beautiful woman warrior who was brave enough to put herself in front of the angry warrior, and wise enough to say the exact words that cooled his anger and chased away his discontent."
Tears are flowing freely down her cheeks now as she recognizes the ancient legend he had spun for her so long ago, the legend that solidified his ties to her. She takes a deep breath and tries her best to reign in the excited pulsing of her heart in her ears so she can hear his words and keep them forever.
"Ever since then, you've owned my heart and given me a peace that I didn't think could ever be possible for me. And for that I will be eternally yours. And I promise I will continue to do everything I can to lift your burdens, and love you the way you deserve to be loved, and protect your heart, your amazing heart."
He pulls out a little black box from his pocket and opens it to reveal a simple yet stunning silver engagement ring. Kathryn gasps as its diamond catches the light from the candles and the reflection sparkles in the tears that pool Chakotay's eyes.
"Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway, will you marry me?"
Kathryn closes her eyes for a second, feeling an overwhelming sense of joy and love sweeping through her, so powerful that she thinks she might sink to her knees right in front of him. She never thought this moment would come, not with him, not after all they had been through and all they had lost. But now here it is, this moment that she has wanted since returning from the dead. Since getting Voyager home. Since New Earth. Since the moment she laid eyes on him on that viewscreen, eleven years ago.
"Kathryn?" she hears him ask with just a slight tinge of fear. She opens her eyes and gives him a grin that threatens to take over her whole face.
"Yes, Chakotay," she answers. "Yes of course I'll marry you."
Kathryn has never seen anyone look so relieved, or so overwhelmingly happy. He removes the ring from the box, takes her left hand, and slips it on her finger. Then he rises and kisses it as she laughs joyously. He kisses her hand, her arm, her shoulder, all the way up until he finally reaches her lips. She draws him in and holds him with a tight ferocity, which he returns happily as their kiss goes on and on.
Pure elation heats up the kiss quickly, and she briefly considers fulfilling a long held fantasy of doing very inappropriate things with him in her former ready room, but then Chakotay's commbadge chirps softly in his pocket.
"Kim to Chakotay," comes a whispered hail.
"Harry's here?" Kathryn asks against Chakotay's lips, since he refuses to release them.
"Ignore him," he mumbles back at her between kisses. They continue their sensuous exploration of their new fiancé's mouths until the commbadge chirps again and a louder, more persistent voice booms from his pocket.
"Torres to Chakotay! You can devour each other later! Right now three of your best friends are dying to congratulate you!"
Chakotay groans and Kathryn laughs as he pulls the comm out of his pocket and taps it with more force than necessary.
"Fine, come up if you must."
A chorus of whoops sound before the line clicks dead.
"That's what you get for letting the Three Musketeers in on your plans," Kathryn teases.
"More like the Three Stooges," he grouses, but only for a second before his grumpiness gives way to a gratified smile. "But the moment was worth it."
"Most definitely," she agrees, then wraps her arms around his neck again and grins at him. "I love you, fiancé."
"I love you more, fiancé." Chakotay bends down to kiss her soundly again, until the turbolift doors swish open and their three dear friends tumble out and over to them to engulf them in hugs and well wishes. Kathryn quiets them after a length.
"Thank you all, and thank you so much for helping Chakotay pull all this off. It's breathtaking."
"Anything for you, Admiral," Tom tells her. "Hell, we would have even lit two hundred real candles like Chakotay originally wanted to do, but Starfleet said no."
"So removable holoemitters it was," B'Elanna says.
"At least clean-up will be a lot easier," Harry jokes. They all laugh and then Tom announces that he's treating them all to dinner at one of their favorite restaurants to celebrate. They beam off the ship together and head to a seafood place by the bay, where they toast with champagne, laugh about old times on Voyager, and discuss very imminent wedding plans. Kathryn takes it all in in happy daze, the weight of the ring on her left hand a constant reminder of this perfect moment in her life and how overwhelmingly complete she now feels.
After dinner, Harry, Tom, and B'Elanna offer to keep celebrating over drinks at a new jazz lounge that just opened up downtown, but Kathryn politely declines before Chakotay gets a chance to consider. When he looks over and correctly reads the look she's giving him, he doesn't argue.
They leave their friends and beam back to the transporter station close to their apartment then walk the rest of the way, stopping intermittently to paw at each other like hormonal teenagers. They barely make it fully inside their apartment before Kathryn starts tearing at his clothes, and he at hers. They tumble to the bedroom, tangled in each other and giggling like lovestruck fools, which is really exactly what they are.
They make love again and again, pouring out all the love and tenderness they feel towards each other with a new intensity, magnified as it is by the new, more permanent promise of a lifelong commitment to each other.
When they finally lay still, Chakotay sleeps but Kathryn remains awake, admiring the new ring on her finger. It's the third she's worn in her life, and though she'll never forget the way she loved those two other men, this love is beyond anything she's ever felt for anyone. Mark's love was important to her but too safe, and her love for Justin hardly had a chance to solidify into a deep, mature love before he was so painfully ripped away from her. Not to mention that they were so young, she hadn't had a chance to become who she is today.
But here, in this moment, this Kathryn is completely and irrevocably in love with the man lying next to her, and she knows she will be for the rest of her life and beyond. She can't wait to stand up in front of everyone they care about and show them just that.
Speaking of which, Saturday is only five days away, and Chakotay seemed pretty serious about getting married right away while they still have most of their crew in the vicinity for the Prixin celebration on Friday. She has a lot to do before then, a lot of people to inform and wedding things to secure.
Hearing Chakotay sigh deeply and contently in his sleep, she cuddles into his warmth and banishes all those thoughts out of her mind. All cares and concerns about how to pull off a wedding in five days can wait until tomorrow.
Right now, she's burrowed in soft covers and pillows. The stars of the Alpha Quadrant are shining down upon them. She's sleeping next to the love of her life and soon-to-be-husband.
She is complete.
A mere three days later, Kathryn is pacing back and forth in her living room in front of the comm unit sitting on the coffee table. Her mother and sister are onscreen, sitting side by side in Kathryn's childhood home and watching her pace like they're watching a tennis match.
"So everything got beamed over okay?"
"All items present and accounted for," Phoebe assures her.
"And they'll send over enough people to help set everything up?"
"Yes," Gretchen answers, "they assure me the set up crew will arrive by 0800."
"And the caterer confirmed?"
"Yes," says Phoebe.
"And the RSVPs came in?"
"All of them. Every friend, family member, and former Voyager on or near Earth has promised to come."
"Good," Kathryn says absentmindedly, her hands reflexively coming up to her hips as she continues her pacing. "Be sure to confirm that the florist knows what time the set up crew will be there. It'll be easier for her to beam over the flowers at the same time."
"Aye Admiral," Phoebe replies, a hint of sarcasm coloring her voice. At that, Kathryn stops her pacing and looks over at her mother and sister, then down at herself.
"I slipped into command mode again, didn't I?" Kathryn asks with a hint of mirth. Gretchen laughs.
"Just a bit, darling. But it's all right. Now I can see how you got your crew home in only seven years." Kathryn chuckles and sits down on the sofa in front of the comm with a sigh.
"I'm sorry," she says, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I just didn't realize how much planning I would have to cram into a few days by agreeing to such a quick wedding date."
"Don't worry, sweetheart," her mother soothes. "Weddings are a big hassle no matter how much time you give yourself to plan, but we'll get everything done. Your sister and I are here to help any way we can. And I'm sure the same goes for your crew."
"Yeah," Phoebe agrees, "and before you know it, it'll be over and you'll have a handsome new toy husband to play with."
Kathryn grins at that and looks at them both lovingly. "Thank you both, for everything. It means a lot to Chakotay and me to have this wedding when the majority of our former crew can attend. I never would have been able to pull it off without your help."
"Anything for you, angel," Gretchen says, "we both love you very much."
"I love you both too," Kathryn replies, gazing adoringly at the two most important women in her life, and once again silently thanks whoever is listening that she was able to return to them after so many years of being gone, both in the Delta Quadrant and during her death. She wasted so much time with them both, and now she'll never stop being grateful for having that time back, especially with Phoebe. She in particular had been furious at Kathryn for a while for choosing to remain in Starfleet, and didn't speak to her for months after that argument they had at their mother's house before Kathryn returned to work. But as soon as Phoebe heard of Kathryn's upcoming nuptials, she put aside her own anger and came back to fully support her sister. Kathryn couldn't love her more.
She takes in a deep breath and changes the subject before things can get too maudlin. "So that only leaves one more thing…the dress."
Just as she expects, her mother and sister's faces light up at the prospect of shopping for a wedding gown with Kathryn, just as they always do when shopping is mentioned in general.
"When do you think you both will be free?" Kathryn asks casually, though a smirk places at her lips.
"Right now!" Gretchen and Phoebe practically shout in unison. Kathryn laughs.
"I suspected as much," she tells them. "Let me just change and then I can I beam over in-,"
She's interrupted when the front door swings open and Chakotay breezes in excitedly.
"Hello, darling," Kathryn greets him.
"Hi," Chakotay greets back as he crosses over to her and bends to give her a quick kiss.
"Hello, darling," Gretchen and Phoebe both call teasingly from the comm. Chakotay is surprised for a second but then grins at his future in-laws.
"Hello, ladies! Both of you look as lovely as ever."
"Kathryn, did I mention how much I like him?" Phoebe asks.
"Only so many times that I'm starting to get concerned," Kathryn teases back. Chakotay laughs.
"I assume I interrupted some important wedding business?"
"As a matter of fact, we were just about to steal your fiancé away from you for some very important dress shopping," Gretchen says. "That is, if you can spare her."
To Kathryn's surprise, Chakotay hesitates. "Actually, there's someone I invited over to see Kathryn. He should be here in a few minutes, but if all goes well it shouldn't take too long. Would you mind letting me keep her for another hour?"
Gretchen and Phoebe cast glances at Kathryn, who just shrugs. She honestly has no idea what he has up his sleeve, but she's intrigued already. Gretchen smiles.
"Of course, dear. Phoebe and I need to finalize a few more things over here on our end anyway. Kathryn, just go ahead and beam over whenever you're ready. We'll be here."
"Thanks, Mom. See you both soon!" The transmission ends and Kathryn turns her full attention to Chakotay.
"Well, what's the big mystery? Who is my surprise guest?"
"He'll be here any moment, just give it a minute or two."
"You can't even give me a hint?" Chakotay grins at her almost petulant tone.
"Has anyone ever told you you're beautiful when you're wheedling?" He bends down to give her a long, lingering kiss, which she returns whole-heartedly.
"You're just trying to distract me," she says when they finally break apart, but her voice is soft and breathy.
"Is it working?"
"For a moment, oh yes," she says as she pulls him down by the collar to kiss him again. But then she pushes him back. "Now what's my surprise?"
Chakotay grins, but before he has a chance to answer, their door chimes.
"You're in luck, you don't have to wait another moment to find out." Chakotay rushes over to the door and Kathryn gets up from her seat to join him.
"Good afternoon, Admiral," she hears a familiar voice say and it freezes her in her tracks.
"Tuvok!" she cries, tears of warmth and nostalgia instantly lining her eyes. Her first instinct is to run over and throw herself into his arms even though she knows how uncomfortable it would make him. She hasn't seen him since before her death, and even then that was only over the comm right after that night on Proxima with Chakotay.
But then the reality of their somewhat strained relationship comes crashing back down on her as she remembers the letter T'Pel had sent her about Tuvok's struggles with his emotional imbalance after the death of his son. She understood perfectly his need to distance himself from her after her return from her own death. She'd probably only serve as a reminder of the injustice of it all, that she was allowed to come back while his son wasn't. And she knows how much her own death had hurt Tuvok. After she came back she made sure she met with all the people who handled the circumstances of her death to thank them personally. Deanna Troi was among them, who had been gracious enough to inform Tuvok of her passing and when they met, she told Kathryn of the wave of strong, deep grief the Betazoid had sensed from him when he accidentally allowed his control to slip. No, Kathryn never doubted that Tuvok cares for her in his own unique, Vulcan way, maybe even loves her a bit. But it only makes the distance between them now all that much harder.
Kathryn realizes she's been standing there, probably with her mouth agape, for a lot longer than any sane person should. She steals a glance at Chakotay, who is wearing a happy, hopeful expression, and then back at Tuvok, who regards her with his usual cool, Vulcan air.
"Um, would you like to sit down, Tuvok?" Kathryn finally asks, gesturing somewhat awkwardly to the couch. Tuvok inclines his head.
"Yes Admiral, thank you." He heads over to the couch and she follows somewhat eagerly at his heels.
"Can I get you anything?" she fuses. "Coffee? Vulcan spice tea?"
"The tea would be pleasant, thank you," Tuvok answers evenly. Kathryn is about to head over to the replicator then hesitates. He would probably prefer the real thing, she knows, but that means going to the kitchen to prepare it. Would it be polite to leave him alone after not seeing him for so long? When had she become this nervous around one of her closest friends?
Sensing her unease, Chakotay mercifully steps in. "I'll make the tea, Kathryn. And I'll prepare some snacks before you have to go. Go ahead and sit down." He gives her a gentle nudge on the small of her back towards the couch, offering her the comfort she needs in that calm, assuring way of his. She smiles gratefully at him and sits down next to her oldest friend, not sure where to begin.
Tuvok, also knowing her well, picks up on her hesitation immediately and recognizes the need to ease her into conversation. "You and the captain have made a most pleasing home for yourselves, Admiral."
Kathryn smiles. "Thank you, Tuvok. I'm glad you're finally getting to see it. I had no idea you were even on Earth."
"I arrived only early this morning. I had a meeting with the Dean of Instruction at Starfleet Academy." Kathryn's eyebrows perks up.
"Are you considering going back to teaching?"
"It is a possibility. And a logical choice if my children follow through with their expressed interests in living and studying on Earth. T'Pel and I are currently discussing the possibility of relocating here on a more permanent basis."
"Well, I don't mean to be biased, but I would love it if you and your family relocated here. It would give us more time to spend together."
"Indeed." An awkward silence followed. Well, awkward for her. She doubts Vulcans ever feel awkward. She wracks her brain for another casual topic to discuss, but he preempts her.
"Admiral, I'd like to apologize." Kathryn starts at that.
"Apologize? Tuvok, whatever for?"
"For the….distance I placed between us after your return. I'm afraid I might have given you the wrong impression."
"Oh no, Tuvok!" she assures him quickly. "I read the letter T'Pel sent me. I know this past year has been anything but pleasant." Because Kathryn knows him so well, she can see just a hint of emotion well up into his eyes, and it breaks her heart anew.
"This past year has indeed been a challenge. The news of your passing was….difficult. As was the news of my son shortly after. It took quite a while for me to regain my mental control, to find my peace again. But I do not want you to believe that the news of your return was not most welcome. At the time I was not in a place to accept it properly, but now that my clarity has returned, I can tell you that having you back is indeed most gratifying. You were and shall remain one of my closest and most valued friends. And I hope you still regard me with the same esteem."
Tears come unbidden now and they roll down Kathryn's cheeks before she even realizes they're there. She looks at the man sitting before her, one she would never have imagined would become so dear to her when they first met and he had dressed her down in front of a group of admirals so mercilessly. Now he's one of the handful of people she can't imagine a day without.
Before she can think better of it, Kathryn leans forward and envelops him in a hug. She feels Tuvok tense, but even as uncomfortable as this kind of contact makes him, he returns the gesture and wraps his arms around her back. Kathryn's heart sings with pure joy.
Pulling back quickly to lessen his discomfort, Kathryn wipes at her tears and grins at him. "You're one of my most treasured friends too, Tuvok, and you always will be." Tuvok's only answer is to nod his head slightly, but she recognizes the gratification in his eyes. Suddenly an idea occurs to her.
"Tuvok, how long will you be on Earth?"
"Long enough to attend your wedding to the captain, I assure you." Kathryn smile widens.
"Then I have a favor to ask of you." Tuvok's eyebrows lifts in their signature way.
"A favor?"
"Yes, but only if you're willing." She inhales deeply. "You see, I was going to do it myself, but now that you're here, I was wondering if you would be so kind as to escort me down the aisle."
Tuvok's eyesbrows raise up even higher until they practically meld with his hairline. "I would be…most honored to do so, Admiral."
Kathryn smiles. "And I would be most honored to have you do so." She lays a hand on top of his and squeezes it lightly, trying her best to convey to him how glad she is to have him in her life once again. She realizes now how much she truly missed him.
Chakotay clears his throat from across the room and enters carrying a tray of tea and cucumber sandwiches. He joins them as they eat and drink and partake in light-hearted banter, and Kathryn can feel the weight of Tuvok's absence in her life lift off of her as they regain the friendship she has come to rely on so much, and one she vows to never take for granted again.
An hour later Tuvok says he must be returning back to T'Pel for dinner, and Kathryn has a shopping date with her mother and sister to keep. He departs with the assurance that he will be at the annual Prixin celebration in a couple of days, then at her wedding the next. After the doors close behind him, Kathryn turns back to Chakotay with a loving smile.
"How did you pull that off?" Chakotay flashes his dimples.
"I ran into him on the Academy grounds. I'm not sure if he planned to come see us already, but it didn't take much convincing to get him to come over here to talk to you." He grows serious and steps closer to take her hands in his. "I know how much he means to you, Kathryn, and how his absence has hurt you even if you didn't really dwell on it much. I want our wedding day to be perfect for you, and I knew it couldn't be if someone so important from our family was missing from it."
Kathryn feels another tear slide down her cheek as she regards the amazing man before her. "Thank you," she chokes out emotionally. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
"I ask myself the same thing about you every day," he tells her sincerely, then leans in to kiss her sweetly. She wraps her arms around his neck and returns the kiss with all the love and passion she has, only for him and for all her days. They break apart then he drops one more kiss on top of her head before spinning her around towards the door.
"Now go on, you have some shopping to do, or else we'll have to end up having a Betazoid wedding." He gives her a lecherous once over. "Not that I would mind that in the least." Kathryn laughs and smacks his arm playfully.
"You're still a dirty old man."
"Yes, but I'm your dirty old man," he tells her with a smirk, then pecks her lips once more. "And come Saturday I'll be your dirty old man forever."
"You're deluding yourself if you think you're not already mine forever," she answers cheekily. Chakotay laughs.
"Fair enough. Now go!" he says as he shoos her out. "You're keeping your mother and your sister waiting and they'll never let me hear the end of it."
"I'm going, I'm going," she playfully whines as she opens the door. Before she leaves though, she turns to him one last time. "Chakotay?"
"What?" he asks impatiently, though she can see the teasing glint in his eyes.
"I love you," she tells him simple, and his countenance softens immediately.
"I love you too, Kathryn, so very much." He regards her for a beat, eyes luminescent with adoration. "Now scat!"
Kathryn giggles happily and finally leaves the apartment to head to the transporter station. Saturday definitely cannot get here fast enough.