Ohhhh you have really done it now. Someone had mentioned wanting more from this particular verse, which is, by the way, not even remotely based in any sort of book or media Canon. I'm obviously American, so this isn't Britpicked or Betad for any sort of authenticity. All I can say is, I was 15 in 1999, and we had way worse conversations than anything which may come up in this burgeoning series.

I don't believe I mentioned it in the first chapter (drabble? Story? Ehhhhh?)- this takes place in the 1999/00 school year. Assume Hogwarts took the rest of 98 and much of 99 to rebuild and revitalize itself (How we love thee, quasi-sentient Scottish boarding school). Adjust character ages appropriately.

Also, no Harry and Ron because Aurors. We'll get to that, I'm sure.

Don't bloody sue me, I'm American and, well, I don't think there really is much more to say about that, yeah.

Subtext and Subtleties

"Granger!" The brunette in question remained nose-deep in her Ancient Runes text, odd Muggle contraptions still firmly lodged in her ears. Having lost the battle with his patience, he tapped the desk in front of her eyes. 'Finally,' he thought as he rolled his eyes.

"Malfoy? Something you need?" Hermione leaned back in her library chair, enjoying the fullness of the nearly new cushions. 'The renovations were certainly kind to Madam Pince,' she had thought when first seeing the updated library. The blond man before her uncharacteristically squirmed a moment before huffing and dropping into the chair across from her. "A strop? Really? Are you twelve?"

"I don't get it," he said finally, looking at the table intently.

"You don't usually get much, Malfoy. Don't let it bother you." He snorted at her snark.

"Look who suddenly grew a sense of humor with her sex drive," his face may have been stone, but the tone of voice said it all. A part of her was amused, but more, she was confused. Draco Malfoy… was… upset…?

"That's what this is about? Because I shagged your best friend?" Her voice rose a bit, but still just barely remained low enough to be contained to the table. That didn't stop Malfoy from waving his hand frantically and shushing her. "Are we fucking nuns now? Jesus, Malfoy, get a grip!"

They both took a moment and breathed the majority if their sudden tempers out. "Why did you do it?" He could have kicked himself. It wasn't his business, yet here he was sounding all the world like… like a jealous-

"Because I wanted to and he wanted to. It's just sex, Malfoy. It doesn't mean we're suddenly-" her mouth snapped shut. "Are you jealous?" She laughed, low and rich.

His cheeks burned. "No, Granger, despite your obviously deviant imagination, I'm not jealous. Confused, worried enough about my friend to make sure you aren't a gold-digging whore- you're not, thankfully- don't give me that look- oh, fuck, Granger!"

Too late. She had stormed out of the library, tears just beginning to form. Yet again, Draco was a world class heel when it came to one Hermione Granger.

Hours later, he found her in the Astronomy Tower. "You know," she said sniffling, "I really had fucking hoped you'd hate this tower just enough to stay away." She looked at him. "I'm not a whore, Draco."

His heart dropped into his stomach and he slowly approached her to sit next to her. "I- I know, Granger. It's just-"

"Other women have done that?" Draco nodded in reply. "I'm not a gold-digger, either, Draco."

One again, he nodded. "There was this one girl, Marienne, who- well, she had done her research well on the Zabini's. She figured out how to be invited to one of their summer dos, and-"

"She stole his heart and tried to steal his money, too. Bitch." He was surprised at her vehemence. Grimacing, Hermione stood and offered a hand to him. "Sorry, it's just- well, Blaise and I are friends and- that's fucked up. But yeah, certainly enough Muggles do it, so it isn't unheard of. But really, Draco? Me? I'm a fucking saint! A bloody war hero! The actual fuck do I need someone's vault access for? Do you even know what I'm worth?"

"Wait, what?" He nearly tripped down the stairs in shock.

"What, what?"

"What do you mean, you're friends?"

She was rolling her eyes. Draco could almost feel their rotation in her eye sockets. Hermione sighed behind him. Yup, she had rolled her eyes. That sigh always followed- how the- 'Why do I know this?!'

He held her hand as she descended the last few of the steep steps and she nodded.

"You're an idiot, number one. That s what you choose to pick out from- fine, yes, after I, uh," she paused and stroked her hair awkwardly, "Testified for you, he approached me at The Leaky and we talked about, well, everything. Ended up meeting for coffee shortly thereafter. Now that we're back here, we aren't able to have coffee as much, but we used to almost every day. But yeah, we're just friends. If you see him later, tell him to owl me for coffee later this week, okay?" With the conclusion of what must be the oddest ramble, Hermione walked in the direction of Gryffindor Tower, humming a bit of a tune.

'Hmm, jaunty…' he thought.

"Oi, Blaise! Forgot to tell you, Granger says to owl her for coffee some time? I didn't know you liked coffee, mate." His confusion only heightened when Blaise doubled over on his bed wheezing laughter.

"Did she- ahahahaha- did she say or do anything else?" Tears leaked from his eyes.

"No, but she was singing a little tune as she walked away." He mimicked what he could remember of it. "Never heard it."

By this time, Blaise was nearly passing out from lack of air. "Coffee- ahahahaha- is code for sex- hhhaaaaaaahahahahaha- the song-" He snorted. "A Muggle song-" There was a pause as he tried to steel himself. "Lady Marmalade!"

Another twenty minutes of riotous laughter followed before Draco finally learned what the song was about. The worst but was that Granger had taken to either whistling or outright humming it in classes. Blaise, the utter bastard he was, would often sing the words under his breath.

'With friends like these, who needs-' his train of thought derailed, killing hundreds, when he realized he had thought of Granger as- His eyes snapped up to see her smiling at him. She winked and turned away, whistling a completely different song and once again, Blaise took to his breathy rendition.

"Let me tell ya 'bout my best friend…"

"I hate you both. Arseholes." The small grin on Draco's face, however, didn't leave for the rest of the day.