Newkirk Wins the War
By Deana Lisi
I don't own any Hogan's Heroes characters. Bummer.

What could have happened in the season 2 episode, 'Swing Shift'!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Newkirk ducked his head, trying to ensure that Klink couldn't see him.

"You have all been assigned as guards at Stalag Thirteen," said the German standing beside Klink.

"The toughest POW camp in all of Germany!" Klink cut in. "Where there's never been a successful escape!"

Newkirk snorted a laugh, realized what he'd done, and fake-sneezed to cover it.

"But ve have a different assignment for vun of you," said the German. "Our Furher needs an extra guard at his compound—"

Before Newkirk could stop himself, he raised his hand. "I vill go!"

The man seemed surprised. "All right…Mueller, is it? Zat is your assignment! Everyone is dismissed!"

Everyone started to leave the room, and to Newkirk's surprise, Klink walked towards him.

"Mueller!" Klink exclaimed.

"ACHOOOO!"

Klink stopped where he was.

Newkirk quickly bolted out the door and followed the other German—Newkirk had no idea what his name was—and was shown outside.

"Zis car vill bring you to zee Furher's compound," the man said. "You vill be vun of his personal guards! For your own good, see that you never make him angry."

Newkirk nodded and saluted him. "Jawohl, und danke."

The man returned the salute, and Newkirk got into the car. Just then, he saw Klink came out of the building, walking towards them.

Oh, blimey…Newkirk thought. He 'sneezed' again, covering his face with the handkerchief.

Klink reached the car and peered inside. "Don't let the Furher catch your cold!" he said, with a chuckle.

The other German shot him a look, and Klink instantly stopped.

The drive didn't take long, and soon, Newkirk was inside Hitler's compound. To his shock, he was brought to General Burkhalter.

He quickly covered his face and sneezed again.

"Come vith me," said the General, motioning for Newkirk to follow.

Now very scared, Newkirk walked behind him. What 'ave I bloody gotten meself into?! he thought. Crackers, I am! Sorry, Colonel, looks like ya lost one of ya best men today if I succeed in me loony plan. He felt very sad, knowing that he hadn't much longer to live and he would miss the others.

Burkhalter opened a door and lead him over to a large desk. The chair behind it was facing them backwards, and it slowly spun around to reveal the person sitting in it.

It was Adolf Hitler, who stood.

Burkhalter shot up his arm in the proper salute, and Newkirk took his chance…the best chance that anyone had ever—and would ever—have.

He removed the gun from his holster and fired it point-blank into Hitler's chest.

Burkhalter was stunned and removed his own weapon, but Newkirk was faster and smashed him on the head with his gun, watching him fall before looking back at Hitler and shooting him again and again, making sure he was truly dead.

Then, Newkirk ran.

Fewer people heard the shots than he'd thought. As he ran, he encountered others and yelled in German that Hitler had been shot, which quickly had them running to their Furher's office.

Suddenly, Newkirk was outside, and he ran around the back of the building and climbed over a fence, landing heavily on the ground and sprinting into the woods. He continued to run, thinking his lungs would explode, and didn't stop until he found himself on the road that would lead him back to the stalag.

Suddenly, without warning, two pairs of hands grabbed him and he gave a cry of fear, knowing that this was it; he was about to be executed.

"Newkirk!" exclaimed a voice, as the hands pulled at him and dragged him back into the woods. "It's us! Calm down!"

"Newkirk!" said another voice. "What happened!"

He finally stopped struggling, realizing that it was Hogan and Carter. When he realized that he was safe—and had actually succeeded in his unexpected war-ending assassination—his legs instantly turned to water and he dropped in a near faint.

He felt Hogan and Carter break his fall and sit him on the ground, where he promptly fell over into Carter's arms.

"Are you okay?!" Carter exclaimed; his voice sounding scared as he held onto his friend. "There's blood all over you!"

Newkirk, eyes closed, could feel Hogan searching his body for a wound. "No…I'm fine…it's not…it's not…mine…" he gasped, trying to catch his breath. He could barely talk and his body was shaking like a leaf.

"Who's is it?" Hogan asked.

Newkirk shook his head, hardly able to believe what he was about to say. "It's Hitler's…I killed Hitler!"

"You what?!"

Newkirk's eyes popped open. To his shock, he found himself lying in his bunk back at the stalag.

"Wow!" said Carter, who was standing on the bunk ladder, peering into his friend's face. "That was some dream, boy! I'm sure glad you talked in your sleep!"

Newkirk stared at him, breathing heavily. "A dream?!" he practically shouted. "That was a bloody dream?!"

"Did you hear that?" Carter said, looking down the ladder. "He dreamed he killed Hitler!"

Newkirk raised himself up on his elbow and looked over his bunk, sneezing on the way. Oh, right…He finally remembered that he'd decided to take a nap, his head aching from the annoying cold that he'd caught.

LeBeau, Kinch, and Hogan all stood there, watching him.

"I don't suppose you now have a great idea to really bump him off, do you?" Hogan asked, in all seriousness.

Newkirk sighed, coughing a little as he lay back down. "It would never work now," he said, and proceeded to tell them his dream.

"Wow," Carter said again. "That must've been scary!"

"Ya 'ave no idea, mate," said Newkirk, throwing an arm over his eyes. "It seemed just as real as we are right now." His noticed that his forehead felt hot, telling him that he now had a fever. Well, that explains why I killed Hitler in me sleep.

"Well, get some more rest and get rid of that cold," said Hogan. "You never know how soon we might get another mission."

Newkirk nodded and turned onto his side, wondering if any of them would ever be faced with the opportunity that he could've had if things had gone differently that day...

THE END

I bet none of you readers expected that! LOL! Yes, as you can see, 'Swing Shift' is my fav HH ep. LOL